The only thing worse than this is if Kate Gosselin becomes a Jew. That haircut alone must be violating some or the other halakhic law, no? #jongosselin
Gawker is on the wrong side of this Gosselin story.
Jon wanted those kids off that reality show well-before the show ended, and he made that clear during actual episodes of the show from the second or third season.
Does he suck at PR? Yes. Did he go a little crazy with the ladies? Maybe. But he also finally got the guts together to stop prostituting out his kids.
He is a not so bright dude who is now trying to keep his kids off TV.
He has TLC and Kate trying to continue the exploitation of the kids, and meanwhile, the mainstream and gossip-media are dumping shit on him. If he does kill himself, the kids will basically be nothing but little money-makers born and raised in captivity as part of a plan by Kate Gosselin who was obsessed as a teen with the fame that "multiples" can bring. Pretty fucking sick.
How about at LEAST doing a little research before heaping on more hate to someone who is essentially completely alone in the world at the moment? This is *not* your typical celebrity is an ass situation.
Somewhere exist mirror links to the original posts written by the kids' aunt Jodi for the above blog. They discussed how horribly the kids were being treated and how Jon wanted to stop the show. They are from a few YEARS AGO. Sorry but although I follow this story I don't follow it closely enough to have saved those links.
In any case, if the media (even gossip sites) keeps sourcing only *itself* over and over on this story, it's going to continue to miss the REAL scoop here.
@themediatrix: + @all: Kindly please STOP commenting on this thread. If you keep it up, it's gonna make my Yiddish jokes down-thread vanish into a black hole of oblivion and I shall have labored in vain. Also, who cares? It's Saturday, it's Halloween, we just want entertainment, Foster delivered. Screw quote journalisistic objectivity unquote. #jongosselin
@saralapua: If anyone should do a little research, it's you darlin'. D'ya think jongosselin is a san francisco-based tech-dabbling public radio journalist with feminist sensibilities who's been posting on gawker for a couple of years?
@themediatrix: Right back atcha. Chill out. It's gawker and you're apparently wound up tighter than a drum. Wow, talk about channeling anxiety into weird forums. #jongosselin
Rabbi Smiley Botox is the same guy who was peddling his "lost Michael Jackson tapes" book earlier this month. I always thought one had to be involved in a sexual act for money, to be a whore, but I am learning how wrong I was...
Quite possibly your greated gossip roundup ever. Speaking on behalf of all Christians, though, we never wanted him in the first place. If we have to play this "toss the steaming bag of poop" around for more than a month, I will be very disappointed. And smelly. #jongosselin
@Conchie Birdie: Here is a little wisdom from my bubie that works for Tsar's and Jon Gosselins alike: "May the tsar be happy and healthy, may he have many, many children, and may they have many, many children... Far away from me." #jongosselin
@kappakappaspankme: Shit, are you me??!! But I am an Honorary Jew and very married. Perchance, you are my doppelganger from an alternate timeline and our parallel universes just intersected. #jongosselin
Full disclosure - I'm very married too, but I suffer from no delusions of grandeur. My husband would trade me in a nanosecond for a vintage Jazzmaster. #jongosselin
@kappakappaspankme: Jesus! Okay we have to form a crime-fighting team stat. One more nice Jewish girl from the South and Foster will be giving us instructions from a speaker phone thingy. First case: what is hiding in Kate Gosselin's hair? #jongosselin
@Pope John Peeps II: "via an august news organization, the designator of which is known for his breakthrough research in the field of Lady Gaga's penis." That would be this site, and that would be me. The designation is not official, and the theoretical quotes are not real. Yet. And yes. This is that exact same rabbi, who is also, apparently, "America's Rabbi."
@Pope John Peeps II: I was wondering if it was the same rabbi that broadcast that Elaine was "jealous of her friend George -- a loser" getting married on Seinfeld back in the day. #jongosselin
It just hit me that Jon Gosselin is the reason I am single.
He is that sort of guy who coasts from relationship to relationship with dominant partners, who he ultimately becomes so dependent upon that they practically have to tell him every single freaking thing he needs to do including wiping front to back, and then acts the victim when some inner sense of entitlement isn't properly fawned over/ partner gets sick of it and says take care of your own wiping, repeat ad infinitum, and manages to never take responsibility for anything, ever, all the while thinking he is somehow valuable and desirable by the ever-younger, naive women he seeks out. And then he goes on a date with me and talks about how he writes poetry and is a deep, damaged soul and I run screaming from the table and never date again.
I blame you, sir! #jongosselin
@ms_priestypants: There are good men in the world please don't let the "male" Jon, keep you from finding a wonderful man and enjoying married family life with him. Tikyra
@ms_priestypants: Oh sweetheart, don't lose hope because of silly ol' Jonny boy... he is soooooo sophomore year of high school its not even funny. #jongosselin
@ms_priestypants: Don't worry, I would never mistake you for Cathy-comic - but I know exactly the kind of guy you're talking about. Do you know how many times I've wanted to run screaming from a table? #jongosselin
Kinda makes you wish Menachem Schneerson really is the mosheach so he could come back and kick Boteach right below the tzistzis. (My apologies here to the goyim.)
@TheBusinessGuy: No need to apologize, the Mitteleuropean goyim such as myself are totally familiar with the Lubavitcher Rebbe (RIP) and the Yiddish speak.. #jongosselin
@snugbug: I once had the pleasure of witnessing the set-up of a good joke about Jewish logic play out in real life:
Walking through JFK, I asked a passerby the time. His response: "Whynchagetya'ownfuckinwatch?"
A tidy elderly gentlemen boarded the train to Chelm and made his way to his compartment. There, he found a young man reading a newspaper. After the train pulled out of the station, the young man looks over his paper a few times at the older man and then asks: "Pardon me, sir, do you know the time?" The older man looks at him and says: "Fuck you."
"I beg your pardon," says the young man. "What did I do to deserve that?"
"Look," says the older man, "you seem very nice. Let's say I tell you what time it is... You'll think I'm a nice fellow, and maybe you'll ask me more questions. We'll get to talking, and I might think that you are a nice young fellow too. I'd probably invite you to get off at my stop and come to dinner at my house, where you'd meet my daughter and you'd fall in love with each other. I'm going to let a guy who can't afford his own watch marry my daughter?" #jongosselin
It's reassuring that Rabbi Shmuley is "married to his wife, Debbie." It would be super-awkward if he were married to someone else's wife.
Foster, I got a Rabbi joke* for you:
"Rabbi Zwi Chaim Yisroel of Vitebsk was an Orthodox scholar of the Torah. Also a man who developed whining to an art unheard in the West and inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor. Once, while he was on his way to synagogue to celebrate the sacred Jewish holiday commemorating God's reneging on every promise He ever made, a woman stopped him and asked the following question:
"Rabbi, why are we not allowed to eat pork?"
"We're not?" the Rev said incredulously. "Uh-oh."
*(It's a mash-up of several jokes by my favorite Jewish funnyman. If you can guess who it is, I give you permission to fire up the stove on this blessed Shabbat.) #jongosselin
@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: I don't know what my peoples' version of this would be, maybe- some stuff happened 2000 years ago, let's put on some fancy outfits, swing some incense, sing, talk about justice, and then go and drink martinis at the club. #jongosselin
@snugbug: Lenny Bruce or David Steinberg. I'll go with Bruce but I wouldn't be surprised the other way. (Very Jewish answer here, but at least I didn't answer it with a question. Why would I?) #jongosselin
What a gorgeously life-affirming summation of the Jewish ethos! I'm verklemmt in a tender and non-ironic way. Seriously, that was poetic. xo. #jongosselin
@ms_priestypants: Martinis at the club after my grandmother's 5 o'clock scotch on the rocks and an hour-long phone call with her, tinged with what seems to be a British accent from her time spent in the flat overlooking Hyde park, about how hard it was with my grandfather as an exec. for big oil. #jongosselin
@snugbug: May I? In Freud's The Joke, he repeats a joke possibly told by Viennese Jews about Galitzine Jews. He also tells us that the Viennese Jews regarded the Galitzines as unhygenic. So, here we go:
"Two Jews meet in front of the baths. 'Have you already taken a bath?' asks one of them. 'Why?' the other says, 'Is one missing?'"
@snugbug: But I think the Woody Allen joke that best fits Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is this one from "Hassidic Tales, with a Guide to Their Interpretation by the Noted Scholar." Okay, so here it is:
A man journeyed to Chelm in order to seek the advice of Rabbi Ben Kaddish, the holiest of all ninth-century rabbis and perhaps the greatest noodge of the medieval era.
"Rabbi," the man asked, "where can I find peace?"
The Hassid surveyed him and said, "Quick, look behind you!"
The man turned around, and Rabbi Ben Kaddish smashed him in the back of the head with a candlestick. "Is that peaceful enough for you?" he chuckled, adjusting his yarmulke. #jongosselin
11/23/09
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10/31/09
Gawker is on the wrong side of this Gosselin story.
Jon wanted those kids off that reality show well-before the show ended, and he made that clear during actual episodes of the show from the second or third season.
Does he suck at PR? Yes. Did he go a little crazy with the ladies? Maybe. But he also finally got the guts together to stop prostituting out his kids.
He is a not so bright dude who is now trying to keep his kids off TV.
He has TLC and Kate trying to continue the exploitation of the kids, and meanwhile, the mainstream and gossip-media are dumping shit on him. If he does kill himself, the kids will basically be nothing but little money-makers born and raised in captivity as part of a plan by Kate Gosselin who was obsessed as a teen with the fame that "multiples" can bring. Pretty fucking sick.
How about at LEAST doing a little research before heaping on more hate to someone who is essentially completely alone in the world at the moment? This is *not* your typical celebrity is an ass situation.
Vanity Fair Article:
[bit.ly]
Relatives Trying to Save the Kids
[truthbreedshatred.blogspot.com]
Somewhere exist mirror links to the original posts written by the kids' aunt Jodi for the above blog. They discussed how horribly the kids were being treated and how Jon wanted to stop the show. They are from a few YEARS AGO. Sorry but although I follow this story I don't follow it closely enough to have saved those links.
In any case, if the media (even gossip sites) keeps sourcing only *itself* over and over on this story, it's going to continue to miss the REAL scoop here.
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
(Sorry; don't mean to be mean. They don't celebrate Halloween in Berlin & it's way late & I'm a little bored & looking for trouble.) #jongosselin
10/31/09
I just don't have a sense of humor about the fact that eight kids are working (six from birth) to support their mom's fantasy of being a celebrity.
(Hope you find trouble and some fun this evening.) #jongosselin
11/01/09
11/02/09
11/02/09
Please stop wasting our time.
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XO
Nice Jewish Girl (stuck in The South) #jongosselin
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
*There are exceptions.
10/31/09
11/01/09
11/01/09
Full disclosure - I'm very married too, but I suffer from no delusions of grandeur. My husband would trade me in a nanosecond for a vintage Jazzmaster. #jongosselin
11/01/09
11/01/09
In Kate's hair: Jon's dignity? #jongosselin
10/31/09
PS. Is Rabbi Smuley the "rabbi shmuley" that Tracy Jordan needed to talk to on 30 rock when he "lost touch with his roots"?
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
@Foster Kamer:
Looks like it's Theoretical Quotes Week. #jongosselin
10/31/09
10/31/09
He is that sort of guy who coasts from relationship to relationship with dominant partners, who he ultimately becomes so dependent upon that they practically have to tell him every single freaking thing he needs to do including wiping front to back, and then acts the victim when some inner sense of entitlement isn't properly fawned over/ partner gets sick of it and says take care of your own wiping, repeat ad infinitum, and manages to never take responsibility for anything, ever, all the while thinking he is somehow valuable and desirable by the ever-younger, naive women he seeks out. And then he goes on a date with me and talks about how he writes poetry and is a deep, damaged soul and I run screaming from the table and never date again.
I blame you, sir! #jongosselin
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
Asshole rabbis everywhere!
[gawker.com]
(Couldn't link to this as the link doesn't take you to the comment. Hungarians, get off the cheap Croatian vodka) #jongosselin
10/31/09
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10/31/09
..And let's illustrate this truth with another joke:
..Rabbi Ben Kaddish was walking down Park Avenue and stepped into a fancy gourmet food shop.
A salesperson in an immaculate white coat approached him and politely asked, "Can I help you, Sir?"
"Yes," replied the Rabbi, "I would like to buy a pound of lox."
"Oh, no," responded the dignified salesperson, "You mean smoked salmon."
"OK, a pound of smoked salmon, then."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, a dozen blintzes."
"You surely mean crêpes.."
"Okay, a dozen crêpes."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. A pound of chopped liver."
"Ah, no! You mean pâté."
"Okay," said the Rabbi, "A pound of pâté then, and I'd like you to deliver all of this to my house on Saturday."
"Look," retorted the indignant salesperson, "we don't schlep on Shabbat!" #jongosselin
10/31/09
Walking through JFK, I asked a passerby the time. His response: "Whynchagetya'ownfuckinwatch?"
A tidy elderly gentlemen boarded the train to Chelm and made his way to his compartment. There, he found a young man reading a newspaper. After the train pulled out of the station, the young man looks over his paper a few times at the older man and then asks: "Pardon me, sir, do you know the time?" The older man looks at him and says: "Fuck you."
"I beg your pardon," says the young man. "What did I do to deserve that?"
"Look," says the older man, "you seem very nice. Let's say I tell you what time it is... You'll think I'm a nice fellow, and maybe you'll ask me more questions. We'll get to talking, and I might think that you are a nice young fellow too. I'd probably invite you to get off at my stop and come to dinner at my house, where you'd meet my daughter and you'd fall in love with each other. I'm going to let a guy who can't afford his own watch marry my daughter?" #jongosselin
10/31/09
Foster, I got a Rabbi joke* for you:
"Rabbi Zwi Chaim Yisroel of Vitebsk was an Orthodox scholar of the Torah. Also a man who developed whining to an art unheard in the West and inspired many pogroms with his sense of humor. Once, while he was on his way to synagogue to celebrate the sacred Jewish holiday commemorating God's reneging on every promise He ever made, a woman stopped him and asked the following question:
"Rabbi, why are we not allowed to eat pork?"
"We're not?" the Rev said incredulously. "Uh-oh."
*(It's a mash-up of several jokes by my favorite Jewish funnyman. If you can guess who it is, I give you permission to fire up the stove on this blessed Shabbat.) #jongosselin
10/31/09
Yours truly, Self-Hating Jew
(I need that disclaimer because a Danish guy once tried to kill me for telling a Jewish joke in mixed company)
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
What a gorgeously life-affirming summation of the Jewish ethos! I'm verklemmt in a tender and non-ironic way. Seriously, that was poetic. xo. #jongosselin
10/31/09
Angl0-Saxon Catholics? #jongosselin
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
10/31/09
Signaling the end of round one at the "Whole Magilla Thrilla" #jongosselin
11/01/09
"Two Jews meet in front of the baths. 'Have you already taken a bath?' asks one of them. 'Why?' the other says, 'Is one missing?'"
11/01/09
A man journeyed to Chelm in order to seek the advice of Rabbi Ben Kaddish, the holiest of all ninth-century rabbis and perhaps the greatest noodge of the medieval era.
"Rabbi," the man asked, "where can I find peace?"
The Hassid surveyed him and said, "Quick, look behind you!"
The man turned around, and Rabbi Ben Kaddish smashed him in the back of the head with a candlestick. "Is that peaceful enough for you?" he chuckled, adjusting his yarmulke. #jongosselin
11/01/09