Leven Rambin Graduates

Do Not Put Your Faith in a Cape and a Hood, They Will Not Protect You the Way That They Should.

Alec Baldwin's Family Problems Not His Fault

• Alec Baldwin lashes out at the family court system in his book, not his ex-wife Kim Basinger. He takes care of her at live party appearances: "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." [Showbiz Spy]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their big house-de-thetaning party in Beverly Hills, and a helicopter or tree-climber showed up to take pictures. In the first shot, you can see Cruise trying to crash the photographer with his Scientology mind powers. Guests included Victoria Beckham, whose terrified husband stayed home so he couldn't be kidnapped again; Oprah Winfrey, who brought her very close personal friend Gail King; Jennifer Lopez, who likely left the babies at home with their security detail; Tobey Maguire; and fellow crazy Scientologists Kimora Lee and Kirstie Alley.
• Leven Rambin: "I have come to an understanding that soap fans are unlike any other; dedicated, passionate, and loving." Actually, all fans are dedicated, passionate and loving. That's the definition of "fan." [Oh No They Didn't]
• John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston continue to hang out. [Faded Youth]
• Diddy and Cameron Diaz held hands. She said he "must" try her "bread pudding," and spoon fed it to him. Then they snuck off into Prince's basement together. They're of course "just friends." [Rush & Molloy]
• Wesley Snipes is confident he isn't going to jail for the tax evasion thing. He is out on bail and plans an appeal. [P6]
• Sulu from Star Trek getting married to his gay partner, has a sense of humor: "He got down on one knee. I said, ‘What are you doing down there?'" [R&M]
• About one-third of Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen from wife Courtney Love, who kept them in "a pink teddy-bear-shaped bag" that she used to take "everywhere." She said she was suicidal. [News of the World]
• Rapper M.I.A., who was going to have to leave the country, is marrying a media mogul's son right before her work papers expire. So if they catch her at the border, she really will have visas in her name. [Oh No They Didn't]
• Charlie Sheen has remarried, which means he has a new person to apologize to. [Hollyscoop]
• Hugh Grant, the film star once busted for prostitution, was very interested in taking home a "leggy brunette" from a club until he realized photographers were present. [Showbiz Spy]
• Angelina Jolie keeps guns at home, knows how to use them. [Showbiz Spy]
• Awkward: Harrison Ford had to explicitly deny widespread rumors that he will finally marry Calista Flockhart. [Showbiz Spy]

John McCain's Fabulous Starlet Supporters

Leven Rambin Turns 18, Creepy Old Men Rejoice

Fashion Jew Not To Be Trusted, Says Post

• David Lauren, the Jewish fashion scion barred from Jenna Bush's wedding, hit on some other woman while girlfriend Lauren Bush was at the nuptials, so grandpa and grandma Bush were totally right about him being a non-commital dirty old man, according to the right-leaning Post. This piece of gossip sounds like a total slam dunk. [P6]
• Leven Rambin of All My Childen reportedly threw herself at actor Shia LaBeouf and everything turned out "just as she hoped it would." [Daily News]
• Lexus offered Paul McCartney an environmentally friendly hybrid limousine, and he accepted, because he didn't realize the vehicle would be sent to him by airplane, "creating a carbon footprint almost 100 times bigger than if it was shipped." [Showbiz Spy]
• Freedom hater Oliver Stone's critical George W. Bush biopic? Totally funded by the Chinese, Germans and, worst of all, AUSTRALIANS. [P6]
• Beyoncé, who married fellow musician Jay-Z just over a month ago, is now pregnant, supposedly. An associate figured this out when she gained some weight and did not do the "Def Jam detox," whatever that means. [P6]
• Anne Hathaway's Italian boyfriend is off the hook for writing a $215,000 check against an account with just $39.08 in it, so she can stop crying to the police about it. [P6]
• Rapper Remy Ma's fiancée Papoose tried to sneak a handcuff key into their jailhouse wedding but was caught, so no ceremony was allowed. Def Jam detox time! [P6]
• On Britney Spears' latest How I Met Your Mother cameo: "The fact that Britney’s second guest spot really didn’t work was no fault of hers. She’s not at all bad at playing clunkily-sweetly dumb... But the script was an awful piece of specialty construction." [People]
• The headline is sufficient: "Pete Doherty Sought Help After Trying To Kill Cat With Shovel." [Showbiz Spy]

Leven Rambin Should Really Set Her MySpace Profile to "Private"

Unsuspecting Young Woman Wanders Into Polanski-Type Situation