I didn't find teenage boys attractive when I was a teenager and nothing has changed. He's generic high school stud good looking white boy and we all know that in 10 years he'll be working at the local Home Depot. However, I must thank Gawker for directing me to Playgirl.com. The sight of so many big beautiful penii was quite the eye opener so early in the day.
Boring without the bone. Had he some daring, he could have been a minor cultural icon. His time is over unless he has some really good intelligence on Palin.
He's as smoldering as a Cheetoh, what with that one facial expression--it's like the same head/face was photoshopped onto every picture.
And, y/know, if he were a chick with that kind of flab, we would never hear the end of it.
Hey, Levi! K-Fed called. He's got a case of Pabst and some pork rinds. And some doughnuts. Go, and meet your future!
Levi just sabotaged his quest for fame by not revealing the peen. People would have loved him big or small and given him props for having the balls to pull off such a media stunt... Alas, we'll have to wait until he gets so starved for media attention that he leaks a sex tape... little does he know that by that point, he'll just be another has-been with a sex tape.
1) Change the post title to "When the Levi Breaks".
2) To say these are a let-down is an understatement, and it has nothing to do with the peen/no-peen issue. These photos suck. Were they taken with a cellphone?
3) Playgirl is exceedingly dumb to release these over the weekend. They just lost 60% of the free coverage they could have had. Had they waited until Monday, it still would have been recent enough for Al Roker to make jokes about it while covering the Macy's Parade. Now, it's a coin flip.
@unclevanya: I understand your point, but it actually makes sense to release them over the weekend, because people can't look at the site on their work computers. That said, you're right, Saturday morning means they really missed out on using the weekday news cycle.
@Brian Moylan: That's the key. Release them while most people are at work. Those who do see them, text/phone/email about it. Anticipation builds and floods the servers at 6pm Eastern time.
Now? You get all the lazy people who will find them gratis and talk smack about them reducing the building mass of momentum.
Never, ever, ever, believe the hype. Just sell it.
I know it takes months to get into 'really good shape', or to see a truly noticeable difference in muscle tone--I guess only having a few weeks to prepare is the main flaw in these, but whatever, he's just a dude.
I feel like it's someone I know, so I can't look at these for too long without feeling weird.
@Colander: He's a lovely fawn that you just want to pet on the nose. Like many hetero chicks, I don't get turned on by hyper-defined musculature. Fattier tissue feels so much better to the touch.
I'm very excited about this but there is no way I'm popping up 19.95 for Levi unless he shows up at my door wearing a towel. How do we get to see the pictures for free, as God intended all Internet content to be?!
@MisterHippity: I knew the pictures were going live at midnight, so I just wrote the post when I got home from a lovely night on the town. As Eartha Kitt sings, Levi was real nice to come home to.
Chalk it up to personal preference, but the fact that he's not over-defined or looking like he spent the last six months of his life in a gym kind of works for me. I like that he's just a random hot piece of ass, not an oiled-up male model. I'm still a little bitter over no full frontal, though.
@pssshwhatever: Cute as he ever was. I'm a little bitter too, but Gawker did a servicey countdown the last few weeks and I knew to change my expectations.
To modify an adage, Levi should know you can attract more gays with meat than you can with, uh, torso. The adage being the one with flies and honey. Although to be honest you can also attract flies with meat, if you're into that scene.
What I'm saying here is that (a) Levi Johnston should have shown the full testes experience and (2) The Amyitville Horror is a film that teaches us about flies, amongst other things.
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And, y/know, if he were a chick with that kind of flab, we would never hear the end of it.
Hey, Levi! K-Fed called. He's got a case of Pabst and some pork rinds. And some doughnuts. Go, and meet your future!
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2) To say these are a let-down is an understatement, and it has nothing to do with the peen/no-peen issue. These photos suck. Were they taken with a cellphone?
3) Playgirl is exceedingly dumb to release these over the weekend. They just lost 60% of the free coverage they could have had. Had they waited until Monday, it still would have been recent enough for Al Roker to make jokes about it while covering the Macy's Parade. Now, it's a coin flip.
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Now? You get all the lazy people who will find them gratis and talk smack about them reducing the building mass of momentum.
Never, ever, ever, believe the hype. Just sell it.
11/21/09
I feel like it's someone I know, so I can't look at these for too long without feeling weird.
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them wanting more.
On a completely separate note... I would also like to put a new term out into the universe - I've been Gawk Blocked at work. Not happy.
I may have to start schlepping a laptop to the office because this can't continue.
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Brian, were you waiting on-call so you could post just when the moment arrived?
Did they beep you or something?
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Maybe they should just clone Foster Kamer. Then they could have FEK 1 post during the weekend days and FEK 2 post on weekend nights.
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What I'm saying here is that (a) Levi Johnston should have shown the full testes experience and (2) The Amyitville Horror is a film that teaches us about flies, amongst other things.
11/21/09
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