Gawker: life expectancy

Five Deaths That Prove You Should Eat Fast Food

Ryan Tate — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:50:27 EDT

Neatly encapsulating the prevailing foodie conventional wisdom, science-fearing New York Times contributor Michael Pollan has famously advised America to "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." He also believes we should eat like our ignorant, backward ancestors ("Don’t eat anything your great-great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food") instead of like modern human beings. But as regular Gawker readers know, heavily-processed, contemporary American fast food has preserved an inordinate number of its inventors and purveyors well past any reasonable life expectancy. This morning's Times brings word of the death of hamburger chain founder Wilber Hardee at the ripe old age of 89. Granted, he was felled by a heart attack. But he joins no fewer than four other fast food pioneers who have kicked the bucket over the past six months at extraordinarily advanced ages:

Processed french-fry inventor JR Simplot, 99, "natural causes," May.
Baskin-Robbins founder Irvine Robbins, 90, "complications related to old age," May.
Lovie Yacey, founder of Fatburger, 96, "pneumonia," February.
Carl's Jr. founder Carl Karcher, 90, "had Parkinson's disease and was being treated for pneumonia," January.

We left out Popeye's Fried Chicken founder Al Copeland, 64, who died of "malignant salivary gland tumor" in March. But he didn't do too badly at all, especially, as our own Hamilton Nolan pointed out, "for a man with a lifetime diet of fried chicken!" (Ahem.)

So there you go — irrefutable, scientific proof that you not only can but probably should load up on cheeseburgers, ice cream, french fries and hot dogs throughout the summer and really for the rest of your life. Hold the guilt!

[Times]

Nothing But Fast Food For The Antispurlock

Ryan Tate — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:35:11 EDT

Just in time for Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock's new movie, a Wall Street analyst is getting closer to the fast-food companies he tracks by eating only "quick-service" food for all of April. It's halfway through the month; how's he doing? The answer won't be surprising to those who remember how long the founders of Popeyes, Carl's Jr. and Fatburger lived:

Siegner, who is naturally slim, is halfway through his experiment, hasn't gained any weight and says his cholesterol, triglycerides and other such things are all still good.

Why's he doing this?

"We decided to take on a serious research topic, obesity, but we wanted to package it in an interesting way. Research doesn't have to read like a 10K," Siegner said.

I can write this guy's findings in advance: working-class people who eat too much fast food just need to remember to make it in to Equinox at least three times a week and not blow off their personal trainer appointments. Obesity crisis solved!

[Post]

Live Fast, Die Old

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 11:38:58 EDT

In January, Carl Karcher, the founder of the fast food chain Carl's Jr., died at the age of 90. In February, Lovie Yancey, the founder of Fatburger, died at the age of 96. And just yesterday, Al Copeland, the founder of Popeyes Fried Chicken, died at the age of 64. Which is not bad for a man with a lifetime diet of fried chicken! Does this mean that 2008 is a deadly year for our beloved fast food entrepreneurs? No, it means that fast food will keep you alive well past the expected time of your demise. Honor their memories with greasy meat. [Tabloid Baby]