Taylor Swift will break her year-long song silence about Kanye West tonight. 50 cent tweeted some homophobic stuff. John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston: Spotted together! Sunday's Gossip Roundup was invited to many Fashion Week parties but chose not to go.

Welcome to Monday's gossip roundup, in which we gather every horrifying new detail about Speidi's sex tape (blackmail! ultimatums!) and how it inspires Snooki's ex. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt wants to murder BP executives and LiLo's lawyer heads back to court.

Lindsay Lohan is scared of food, Brad Pitt is scared of his ex-bodyguard and New York models are frightened and jealous of Jesus Luz.

Oh, don't worry. Lindsay Lohan always learns her lesson. After she purloined an $11,000 fur coat from a Russian model and was eventually sued (for six figures) for the outrage, a rival of the trendy 1Oak club where the whole kerfuffle went down has offered to pay a settlement on LiLo's behalf and buy her an $11,000…

Beyond being an early adopter of the Zipfur coat-sharing system that allows you to borrow an $11,000 mink, use it, then leave it for the next wearer at a designated drop-off point, Lindsay Lohan has been busier than ever with her various acting pursuits. Above, the first photos of her upcoming guest-starring…

Page Six is reporting that Lindsay Lohan has a new best friend, and hinting at a little more than that. The libertine starlet, who has allegedly gotten down with Sapphic spinner Samantha Ronson in druggier days past, is palling about town with Courtenay[ sic] Semel...and living with her! We know Lohan's dwindling…

The dogged persistence with which Lindsay Lohan appears to be grinding her career into a fine powder and snorting it off the seat of the crapper is so thorough, and so consistent, that it's almost a welcome show of commitment in this fickle town. In addition to appearing headed for a long, glorious career in the…

Realizing that perhaps the best way to get in with the good graces of the lap-dance-servicing community was not to send out a Blackberried memo that might later get forwarded to Page Six in which she described them as "all whores . . . xcept for some obviously!" Lindsay Lohan has committed herself to making amends…

Visitors to Lindsay Lohan's motel residence might fear that opening the wrong closet could result in an avalanche of white powder rivalling the dynamiting of a Himalayan mountainside, but as it turns out, one would merely be covered in the designer detritus of a rumored $100,000 a day shopping habit. The…

When we originally noted that Jared Leto would be playing Mark David Chapman opposite Lindsay Lohan in the upcoming Chapter 27, we figured the chunky Catcher in the Rye-obsessed John Lennon murderer would simply be rewritten as an irresistibly dreamy-eyed, aspiring rock star. But as evidenced in the above set…

In the outside chance you are feeling slightly discouraged with your lot in life, we thought we'd ease matters by sharing the above, inspiring Forbes chart of top celebrity earners under the age of 25. You think you're overworked and underpaid? Imagine living Lindsay Lohan's taxed existence the lies, the infighting…

In the beginning, God made Lindsay Lohan the Actress, and He saw it, and it was good. Well, it was decent and could carry a Disney remake. But then the Actress begat the Party Girl, which in turn begat the paparazzi-demolishing Truckasaurus we now think of at the mere mention of her name. If we could, we'd like to…

Lindsay Lohan may have decided the time has come to put down the mirror and cleverly fashioned dollar-straw and settle down for her first marriage, finding her Mr. Temporarily-Forever in the blank-faced, boylicious embrace of current beau, Jared Leto:

The suffocating demands of fame, it seems, have taken a terrible toll on Fox News' favorite son, Bill O'Reilly. In fact, he's so psychically drained by the constant scrutiny that comes with being among the world's most recognizable "big personalities" (coughassholecoughcough) that he's even starting to identify…