We turn our backs on Lisa Marie Presley for one second and what does she do? Starts selling French fries out of the back of a van.

Kim Kardashian is getting divorced after only 72 days. That's only two and a half months. Apparently celebrities are especially susceptible to being married for very short periods of time. Here are some that were so short they make Kim's look long, and some that lasted a bit longer and make Kim's look short, sort of…

Another day of Lindsay Lohan reckoning is nigh. Kim Kardashian's birthday cake will be encrusted in diamonds. The Sister Wives polygamists are actually kinda incestuous. Like, more than we realized the first time around. TGIFriday gossip.

Over one year after Michael Jackson's death, ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley opened up to Oprah for the first time in an exclusive interview today. This clip is just a taste of a candid, eye-opening interview.

Carmen Llewellyn says Scientology "ruined my life and my career. I ended up addicted to painkillers." She blames Scientology for Tom Cruise's divorce from "Suppressive Person" Nicole Kidman and says the Travoltas hid their son Jett from the church.

Lauren Conrad, the former star of The Hills and the person to blame for introducing Heidi Montag to the world, turns 24 today. Michael C. Hall, the star of Showtime's Dexter, is turning 39. Outkast's Big Boi is 35. Lisa Marie Presley, the singer and spawn of Elvis, is turning 42. Princess Stéphanie of Monaco is 45.…

The Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is taking bets on which celebrity will be the next to turn their backs on L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta leads the pack at 9:4 odds, and Tom Cruise is at 50:1. Place your markers.

• Despite several tabloid reports yesterday that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel had broken up, they were photographed holding hands on Monday in Santa Barbara. So what's going on? "Things have been rocky the last few months, but they're working it out," one source tells the Post. ("They've been spending more…

• Michael Jackson was laid to rest yesterday evening, exactly ten weeks after his death. Gladys Knight performed; Al Sharpton delivered a sermon; Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis put in appearances; and the Jackson siblings color-coordinated their outfits, per usual.…

In what is possibly the most bizarre coupling since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley married, Sarah Palin and the Washington Post have come together as one and given birth to a Sarah Palin Washington Post op-ed piece. Yeah.

New pieces about the final days of Michael Jackson are flooding the news, along with tributes, memorials, debates on the nature of the conversation about him, etc. If there's one article you have to read on it, however, it's this:

Publicist (and new mom) Lizzie Grubman turns 38 today. Dick Cheney turns 68. Christian Bale is 35. Gene Hackman is 79. Wilmer Valderrama turns 29. Vanessa Redgrave is 72. Phil Collins is turning 58. Theater impresarios Harold Prince and Bernard Gersten are 81 and 86, respectively. NHL star Chris Simon is 37.…

Now that Jett Travolta's death has shone a spotlight on Scientology's tenuous relationship with medicine, Lisa Marie Presley has taken to her Myspace blog to announce that Scientologists can pop any pill they want.

♦ Not only did Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony renew their vows at 3:15 a.m. in Las Vegas on Sunday, they did it in a joint ceremony with Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran and his wife Jessica. [E!, People]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson tell friends they're planning on dressing up as Todd and Sarah Palin for…

Elvis Presley's only known child, Lisa Marie Presley, gave birth to twin girls earlier this week. This isn't just any old celebrity baby news. It means that Elvis has finally been reincarnated. First of all, it's well-known that greatness skips a generation. Secondly, although Lisa Marie already has two kids from a…

Newly pregnant Lisa Marie Presley is filing a lawsuit against our favorite celebrity body part attacking rag, The Daily Mail, after they reported their disapproval of just how much junk she's packing in her trunk these days. And while the Mail's use of "packing on the pounds" and "gained weight just like her father…

And she's telling her MySpace friends all about it! From the singer and Elvis daughter's latest post, titled "confirmation under the gun," she rails against "the media" for wildly speculating about her expanding belly and forcing her to confirm her pregnancy before she was ready: "They couldn't wait to find out if my…