Apologies if you've just barely digested your breakfast, but the economy is dying, you unfeeling bastard, and a murdered bunny* is the only way to truly understand it.

As gloomy poet Goethe once said, "Ich denke dein, wenn mir der Sonne schimmer Vom Meere strahlt; Ich denke dein, wenn sich des Mondes Flimmer In Quellen malt." Forget this little mutant rabbit's untimely end and only remember the good times. Til would have wanted it that way.

Since her death two days ago, little Til—the rare baby bunny trampled to death by a German camerman at her moment of fame—has become the star she was destined to be. Hundreds of news outlets have eulogized the tragic victim of the media, and new details continue to break.

"The future looked so bright for tiny Til, a baby rabbit born without ears three weeks ago," Der Spiegel reports. For little Til was born in the east German town of Limbach-Oberfrohna, and Germans are a people known for their love of adorable mutants and pathetic baby animals. Like an earless, 8-year-old Lindsay Lohan…