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New York, 7:06 AM
Tue Dec 1
57 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    Vom. I'd sooner cut off my rightie than watch that! #livestream
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of CODiva CODiva
    11/11/09

    @BookishLookish: I'm withya on that. Let's have the Hollywood version, svp, of the infant popping out in a Lilly onesie. #livestream
     Reply
    CODiva was starred CODiva was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    11/11/09

    @CODiva: Oh, CO, if only the world were run by you.

    Six years ago today I pushed out my own rugrat. One of the ob/gyn residents, a darling young thing, asked me if I wanted a mirror to see "the crowning head." Vom! Ur, no thanks, just let me know when he has slid all the way out. That will signal the cocktail hour, thanks! #livestream
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of TroisFilles TroisFilles
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    Betty Draper had the right idea. Twilight. And not the movie.

    Says the commenter who had her kids sans drugs. And sans camera. No icky "Look, Ma! My cervix is the size of an English muffin!" shots for me.

    PS: Young ladies, that's how labor was described to me. Your cervix is the size of a Cheerio normally. It dilates to the size of an English muffin. Enjoy your breakfast... #livestream
     Reply
    BookishLookish promoted this comment TroisFilles was starred TroisFilles was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    It disgusts me that this woman (or at least, presumably, the father) is of Norwegian descent. Please to be getting your icky lack of boundaries away. Enda en norsk fitte (på TV!)... akkurat det vi trenger. Dra meg baklengs inn i fuglekassa.
     Reply
    Edited by pureblarney at 11/11/09 3:22 AM pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    11/11/09

    @pureblarney: O.o

    I thought "fitte" had a stronger connotation (or at least it does in Swedish). #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    11/11/09

    @kappakappaspankme: It means "cunt," pretty much like in English. (If it seems wrong to call a formerly pregnant lady that, it's because there's really something wrong here.) #livestream
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    11/11/09

    @pureblarney: Thanks for the confirmation. I'm aware that most words have similar definitions in Scandinavian languages and wanted to ensure that when I am profusely swearing at a Norwegian, I'm doing so accordingly.

    Having just dropped a spore recently, I remain absolutely confused about one's burning desire to make childbirth a three ring circus replete with AV staff, every single family member within a 30 mile radius and the desire to make it available for public consumption. People have no sense of boundaries, do they? #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of QueenCeleste QueenCeleste
    11/11/09

    @kappakappaspankme: Let me just take a moment to agree with you wholeheartedly on that. Having gone through this experience twice, I am still gobsmacked by people who invite the whole frigging family in. What the hell must Thanksgiving with the in-laws be like after they've seen you pushing a baby from your fitte? Jeez... #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme promoted this comment QueenCeleste was starred QueenCeleste was unstarred
    Image of bboston88 bboston88
    11/11/09

    @kappakappaspankme: I did not want anyone around me, why you would want that big camera in your vagina is beyond me. I would have karate kicked it if anyone brought that thing near me at that time. Luckily my husband and I have a sense of boundaries. We didn't even take pictures, how old-school! #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme promoted this comment bboston88 was starred bboston88 was unstarred
    Image of quickqueenof quickqueenof
    11/11/09

    @kappakappaspankme: I heartily concur. Whilst giving birth I kept my view up at the ceiling and on my hubs and doc, just like God intended. #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme promoted this comment quickqueenof was starred quickqueenof was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    11/11/09

    @QueenCeleste, @bboston88, @quickqueenof:

    During those lovely parenting classes, people asked the most daft questions. How many people are allowed in the delivery room? How many people can visit? Can my husband tape it?

    By the third question I got so annoyed that a loud "Good grief!" escaped along with a head shake and an eye roll. I wasn't very popular after that.

    Really - people don't bring the entire family out for an appendectomy or tonsillectomy. Why would they bring a box of tools to this - an actual medical procedure? I feel really sorry for the nurses in L & D. #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of Magister Magister
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    And I thought the photos of the "Bradley Method" made me feel uncomfortable.
     Reply
    Edited by Magister at 11/11/09 2:53 AM Magister was starred Magister was unstarred
    Image of bboston88 bboston88
    11/11/09

    @Magister: Did you have to watch those 70s natural birth, bush-fests? Horrifying. #livestream
     Reply
    Magister promoted this comment bboston88 was starred bboston88 was unstarred
    Image of Duck_Lips Duck_Lips
    11/11/09

    @bboston88: I was once invited to a home birth in San Francisco in 1979. The mother, also a Scandinavian, was 20 and photographs from the "birth-in" included an artsy shot of the afterbirth in a pot the father had thrown. I still can't get it out of my mind. #livestream
     Reply
    Magister promoted this comment Duck_Lips was starred Duck_Lips was unstarred
    Image of Magister Magister
    11/11/09

    @bboston88: Luckily I got to skip the films because it was hundreds of miles to the class, but the photos in the book were all hairy wonders and for some reason, the father wasn't wearing a shirt. #livestream
     Reply
    Magister was starred Magister was unstarred
    Image of meerkat meerkat
    11/11/09

    @bboston88: In film school we were subjected to a bizarre amount of live birth footage. As a result I was never able to even think about having kids. #livestream
     Reply
    meerkat was starred meerkat was unstarred
    Image of heywhat heywhat
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    I don't think she seemed freaked out. I thought it was relief and elation. And is it normal to give birth in near darkness? Is that better for the mother and the baby? #livestream
     Reply
    heywhat was starred heywhat was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    11/11/09

    @heywhat: For what it's worth, the only lights on in the delivery room when I delivered Milkface were those used specifically for the birth and neonate equipment. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be better but I preferred having low light (or low anything stimulating).
     Reply
    Edited by kappakappaspankme at 11/11/09 3:46 AM kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of Dr. Nick Dr. Nick
    11/11/09

    @kappakappaspankme: you turned the lights down so you could focus on "Rock You Like A Hurricane" blaring on the boombox, right? #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme promoted this comment Dr. Nick was starred Dr. Nick was unstarred
    Image of cocodevaux cocodevaux
    11/11/09

    @heywhat: also think, dramatic lighting for your one hour and fifteen minutes of fame! #livestream
     Reply
    cocodevaux was starred cocodevaux was unstarred
    Image of kappakappaspankme kappakappaspankme
    11/11/09

    @Dr. Nick: Nothing but the best for the Milky one. #livestream
     Reply
    kappakappaspankme was starred kappakappaspankme was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    J*l*a A*l*s*n is soooooo jealous right now. #livestream
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of tewkesbury tewkesbury
    11/11/09

    In reply to Livestreamed Childbirth Is the Only Sex-Ed You'll Ever Need
    wow. All this plus they gave him a girl's name. Way to get him off to a good start, Gannetts. #livestream
     Reply
    tewkesbury was starred tewkesbury was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    11/11/09

    Redacted!
     Reply
    Edited by pureblarney at 11/11/09 3:34 AM pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of ninety_nine ninety_nine
    06/14/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    It should be generally noted that banks processing debits and credits in a specific order. Meaning that they take money OUT of your account FIRST, then put money in. Regulatory changes over the past couple years regarding settlement have evolved, but I don't see that stuff regularly, so I don't know what is required (some banks are 'nicer' than others). Generally, think of all daily transactions as happening after the bank closes (say, 6PM). All withdrawals (debits) -- checks, ATMs, etc., occur in order they arrive, followed by credits -- deposits, refunds, transfers -- then flow in. Generally, if you end up with a positive balance after the credits are processed, you will be okay. But if a deposited check is not fully available, you might be overdrawn (which is when your current balance and available balance are unequal). Mileage may vary, due to the type of relationship you have, the bank, etc.


    This, strictly speaking, isn't how it happens, allowing for things like deposit availability (when a check clears), but understand that if you deposit cash at 4PM Monday that covers a series of transactions from the weekend that would make you overdrawn does not guarantee you won't get hit with a bundle of overdraft fees. Rationally speaking, it should (after all, if the bank is zeroing out all your daily transactions at once, no money has been lost if you end up with a positive balance), but, you know, banks. If you imagine that an overdrawn amount as a bell that rings every time you are mathematically in the red, you can see how the bell rings five times before you cash deposit hits, and voila, 5 overdraft fees, even though by 7PM Monday your account is adequately funded.


    Until federal bank regs are overhauled so that settlement occurs immediately (something that is, generally speaking, technically viable), you can fume at banks all you want, but you can't really stop them, so keep the above in mind, since it mirrors the way accounts were processed before ATMs (this is the 'batch processing' that Gladwell was referring to in his latest opus of idiocy) and various settlement advances happened. It should generally protect you from fee problems, but also will constrain your spending. Just because online banking looks immediate and feels like it is the last word, it may well not be the case.


    Generally, avoid combo ATM/Debit cards, and use a monthly intermediary like AMEX to fund card purchasing, or online payments (like PayPal), unless you check on or manage your frequently. AMEX requires more discipline, but the liability issues about a Debit card are not worth the headache, and AMEX has excellent fraud management. When you use AMEX, you are basically withholding final settlement of your liability, which is not a bad personal policy, provided you manage your cash. It will be the only leverage you get, so take what you can, since everyone else is. Your employer makes you wait two weeks for pay, the government holds your estimated takes up to a year before issuing the refund you are due, so why shouldn't you delay final settlement as long as possible?

     Reply
    ninety_nine was starred ninety_nine was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    06/14/09

    @ninety_nine: Don't I owe you a beer or something?
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    And I promise you these fucks are protected by every relevant congress member and senator of both parties. The ownership class of America see us all as being beneath dirt and worthy only of stealing from. Usury protection? Don't ask for help from Joe Biden or Chris Dodd. They're laughing their asses off about this.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    Here's a suggestion for changing the banking system permanently and making them heel to consumers: stop paying your credit card balances. Sure, if just one of us does it, they'll be screwed. If everyone does it, the banks will be fucked. As they should be. Fuck. Them.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of JuliaJolie JuliaJolie
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    Here's what happened to me:

    - Checked my Online Banking at 2am, morning of June 9th

    - Went in to deposit $140 cash as a $575 cheque was going to be pending any day now, which would have left me $60 overdrawn without the $140

    - Put in cash, avail immediately, went back home, Online Banking statement AND branch employee says it went through

    - June 10: OB statement says $575 cheque went through on 8th (???)

    - 0.47 transaction (charge for international cancer donation, why??)

    - MBTA transaction had been pulled out on 28th June and re-posted on June 8th

    - 7 transactions rearranged from highest to lowest including cheque and processed BEFORE $140 cash went in, resulting in 6 overdraft fees


    So they fudged the date on my cheque, pulled out and put back in a transaction, and rearranged the transactions from highest to lowest to maximise their overdrafts.


    And then they tell me to use Online Banking to keep track of my fucking account!


    FUCK BofA. No sane human being can keep up with these constant mindfucks. Instead of having almost $80 in my account I am now $98 overdrawn.

     Reply
    JuliaJolie was starred JuliaJolie was unstarred
    Image of AndIAmTellingYou AndIAmTellingYou
    06/15/09

    @JuliaJolie: BofA does this all the time with me, too. I check my balance before purchases or withdrawals, yet they constantly change the dates on transactions, and then by payday I'm been down nearly $100 in overdraft fees.


    Their shady "accounting" has me looking for another bank.

     Reply
    AndIAmTellingYou was starred AndIAmTellingYou was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    I had an overdraft credit line with BofA for almost 15 years. It was $4600. Back years ago I did occasionally make the mistake of overdrawing my account and they gleefully charged me $3 for every $50 they put into my checking account ($50 was the minimum). Plus I would, of course, pay interest on whatever charges they made.


    But lately I have been careful, careful, careful and have been transferring money when I need to, before I need to and keep a balance in my savings and checking accounts.


    So they closed my overdraft line of credit. For "inactivity".


    I used to be able to use my ATM card like a credit card and not have to deal with putting stuff on a credit card, but now it is no longer a credit card at all. So I have no cushion whatsoever.


    To make this feel even more disempowering, this was the last credit that I had in my name only.


    And the saddest thing? We stay with BofA because we have not found another bank that isn't worse.


    You can take advantage of their low balance emails service and I highly recommend it. It is free.

     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of quatrevingtquatre quatrevingtquatre
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    I absolutely loathe B of A, but is there a better banking option out there? I've had an account with them since my 18th birthday (I'm almost 25 now) so I've sort of sucked up the horribleness.


    Oh, B of A horror story:
    I had fraudulent activity on my account and filed a claim. They said they'd send me an affadavit to sign, I never received it so I called them to ask them to have another one sent. In the meantime, they refunded my account the money that was missing. I sent back the affadavit and assumed all was fine. Fast forward a month later and I go to my checking account one morning and find that I am overdrawn by a few hundred dollars. This was on a day that I had scheduled my bills to be paid and I watched in horror as my account continued to be overdrawn while they tried to sort out what happened to my affadavit. Finally, they found the "missing" paperwork and I demanded they reverse some of the overdraft fees and they said they could only reverse 1 every 6 months (there were 4) and they wouldn't return the money that I'd filed a claim over because they didn't process the paperwork until 30 days after I filed the initial claim. I hate them. So much.

     Reply
    quatrevingtquatre was starred quatrevingtquatre was unstarred
    Image of Private Hangnail Private Hangnail
    06/13/09

    @thatonegirlsays: Go to a community bank or a credit union, if available. Personally, I've had no problems with TD Bank (formerly Commerce) and I'm pretty sure they offer the same services as Bank of America.
     Reply
    Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    I think I'm the only person who can say I've had ok experiences with BofA. I switched to them from Wachovia after Wachovia started taking money from my bank account for my estranged father's overdrafts, and would not stop. I lost about $600. I think all banks are terrible, and the next time I'm able to, I'm going to join a credit union.
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    06/13/09

    @katekate is squared: I hate to tell you this, but I had a credit union allow a credit card customer to use my account number for Sears to withdraw an automatic payment every month. You only get statements from them quarterly so I was showing that my savings (only) account was overdrawn by hundreds of dollars with hundreds of dollars worth of fees. Ultimately they told me they couldn't stop Sears from debiting my account for the other person's bills even though I pointed out that allowing this person to use my account was basically fraudulent. For the rest of the time period of this Sears repayment, the money for the payment was removed from my account and then put back in manually by the branch manager. This went on for a couple of years.


    So. Be careful.

     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    06/13/09

    In reply to Kiss The Ring: Bank Of America Takes Mercy On Their Pitiful, Ant-Like, Broke Customers
    They screwed me out of $600 in overdraft fees for something that was there fault. They made a deposit to the wrong account. After HOURS on the phone they refused to give me back my money. I closed my account.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of contains_hot_liquid contains_hot_liquid
    06/13/09

    @contradicto: They did this to me as well. But when I said I would close my account, they balked and gave me the money back. (This was eight years ago; perhaps they've gotten worse.)
     Reply
    contains_hot_liquid was starred contains_hot_liquid was unstarred
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