If there's one way to get some attention on Craigslist, it's by loudly announcing that you work for Lizzie Grubman and thus want a complete change of career. Subtle and professional:

From left, Daily News gossips Chris Rovzar, Jo Piazza, and Ben Widdicombe, Page Six's Paula Froelich, and PNP-lurving blogger Perez Hilton.
On Saturday night, nearly 300 of Manhattan's most glorious names descended upon Cipriani 42nd Street to toast the nuptials of publicist Lizzie Grubman and Chris Stern. Unable…

• Nicole Kidman is questioned by the FBI, and reporters trying to write about Steven Seagal received death threats (presumably from the public.) [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson decides life is too short to spend an evening with intellectual inferiors. [NYDN]
• Lizzie Grubman and her future husband enjoy his-and-hers…

• The Village Voice gets its very own hipster-Blair, in the form of young Nick Sylvester, who fabricated parts of his cover story. Upon being caught, he fainted outside of editor Doug Simmons' office, only to find himself suspended upon regaining consciousness. Meanwhile, freelancers bitch about the possibilty of…

We hear that phone calls went around today asking friends and family of PR dominatrix Lizzie Grubman and her fresh kill, fiance Chris Stern, to make a special place on their calendars for March 18th. Yes, they've set a date, and it's in under three weeks. This wedding is barreling towards us at high speed, like a…

Exactly what you want to look at while you eat.
We don't do restaurant reviews — unless it's a celebrity restaurant (oh, NYLA, we miss you so!). So last night we decided to don our crazypants and hit Destino, the new Italian restaurant at 50th and 1st Avenue. No, we didn't go for the food, even though Rao's Mario…

• Britney Spears claims that she drove with her infant son in her lap because the paparazzi made her do it. You see, they asked her to pose as such, and offered her $5, and she just couldn't resist. [R&M]
• Paris Hilton's testimony helps put away the man who burgularized and abused Girls Gone Wild perv Joe Francis.…

• Wow, Angelina Jolie is getting really fat. [Gossip or Truth]
• In retaliation, Jennifer Aniston moves in with Vince Vaughn — because co-habitating with a bloated alchy is the best revenge. [MSN]
• Naughty PoweR girl Lizzie Grubman gets engaged to Chris Stern; if they're truly in love, that makes the fact that she…

MTV reports that pretty pop star Justin Timberlake is behind forthcoming Upper East Side restaurant Destino's, which he'll co-own with Eytan Sugarman, the man responsible for Suede and Cherry Lounge (both of which Sugarman opened with hip-hop producer Timbaland). PR is being handled by Lizzie Grubman, and chef Mario…

Breaking (or, er, broken): Publicist Lizzie Grubman and the little climber that could, Jonathan Cheban, have euthanized their Grubman-Cheban PR project and parted ways. This is only mildly surprising, given the buzz that Her Grubness was less than thrilled to find that Cheban, who doubles as an Access Hollywood…

• As a semi-anonymous blogger, there are plenty of ways to "out" yourself. Doing so by letting the Post profile you as a Dinner Whore — a single woman who casually goes on expensive dinner dates with anyone who can pay for a gourmet meal — is not, perhaps, the best option. We liked you better when we didn't know who…

• It's been almost 5 years since publicist Lizzie Grubman mowed over 16 people at the Hamptons' Conscience Point Inn, but she's still doing her time in court. Yesterday Grubman answered questions for the only remaining civil suit, filed by a victim who suffered a bruised rib. Rest assured, it was a very expensive,…

I'm sure the past two days were less fun for me than they were for you but all will return to normal on Monday. Jess & Jesse have promised to climb out of their spacesuits and deliver the kind of genuine media analysis and gossip that you are accustomed to receiving. Have a great new year, everyone. Even you Lizzie…

• Is Paris Hilton banned from LA nightclub LAX for talking smack about her former BFF Nicole Richie? If so, it suggests that there might be some sort of karmic balance to that otherwise moira-less world. [Scoop]
• For reasons involving some sort of warped explanation about puzzles and pieces, Kathy Griffin is canned…

Vanity Fair's big, gay butterfly George Wayne is opening a new Chelsea club called Boudoir — which we expect will either last two weeks or two months, depending on the social calendar. During his sit-down interview with New York (and we are, admittedly, ALL OVER this week's issue), accompanied by Her Flackiness…

It's the annual dilemma we all have: What to get for that special PR girl (or reckless driver) on our Christmas list?

Kurt Vonnegut, Noam Chomsky, Jane Goodall, Walter Cronkite, Daniel Libeskind and...Lizzie Grubman? Believe it, children: They're all featured in Forbes's special report on "communicating," and no one knows how to communicate better (from behind the wheel of a Mercedes SUV, anyhow) than PR Power Girl Lizzie Grubman.

• Courtney Love's mother, Linda Carroll, is selling out her pill-popping daughter in a tell-all book. None too surprisingly, we learn that Courtney took psychedelics at age 4, was in therapy at age 6, discovered porn at 9 and booze at 12. Who knew the hooch would come last? [Page Six]
• Since cokey supermodel Kate…

Last week, we received a verrrrry disturbing photo of 80s wrestling star Hulk Hogan carrying publicist Lizzie Grubman. It wasn't the mere image of Grubman nor the proof that the Hulk was still alive and well that made us feel nauseated; rather, it was the angle at which the photograph was taken, providing an…