The embattled CEO of Goldman Sachs had a long day on Capitol Hill yesterday, giving all sorts of non-answers to angry lawmakers and squinting a lot. Afterward, he left a message for his flock of distraught traders: "This is Lloyd..."

Today was Goldman Sachs' big day in front of the Senate Subcommittee on Investigations—The C.S.I. of Senate subcommittees. From Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein, we've compiled an illustrated guide on how to comport yourself at your next Senate hearing.

Did you think the fact a Senate subcommittee pummeled Goldman Sachs executives on Capitol Hill all day would put off investors? Not so much. Goldman Sachs stock traded up today while the rest of the markets took a nosedive.

By now you've heard the news that investment bank Goldman Sachs is in some hot water with the government. Today, executives from the firm will testify on Capitol Hill. Will there be drama? Here is a quick guide.

Did you know that traders at the troubled investment bank are legendary health nuts? It's true! So could a fastfood eating contest between 10 mortgage traders at the firm have lead to the housing market collapse of 2007?

Guess who showed up at Obama's speech at Cooper Union today about Wall Street reform? Goldman Sachs' own Lloyd Blankfein! And many other financial execs. Balls of gold, they have. They'll all get stuck in traffic going home, anyhow. [NYT]

Goldman Sachs is facing an SEC lawsuit that names a prominent London-based banker. The British Prime Minister said today he too wants to examine their "moral bankruptcy." They responded by giving their London staff bonuses equivalent to those of 2007.

CBS's Undercover Boss, in which a corporate CEO is beatified for doing normal jobs for a few days, is this season's hottest advertainment hit. Now, the show is reportedly coming to Wall Street. Glorious! We can already imagine it...

The investment bank's CEO Lloyd Blankfein said in an annual report that while Goldman "held various positions in residential mortgage-related products in 2007, our short positions were not a ‘bet against' our clients." They just bet against everyone else. [BusinessWeek]

So much for those rumors about Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein taking home a $100 million bonus. The firm just disclosed that Blankfein will collect a $9 million bonus in stock and no cash for his services in 2009, or roughly half as much as JPMorgan Chase chief Jamie Dimon. [NYT]

According to Business Insider, Lloyd Blankfein's son Jonathan is about to land a job he totally earned at Goldman Sachs. And we hear that his brother Alex is also on the Goldman Sachs payroll. Bootstraps!

Over the weekend, the Times of London reported that Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein could walk away with a bonus of as much as $100 million, at least according to unnamed bankers the paper talked to at last week's World Economic Forum in Davos.

Goldman Sachs is wasting no time doing exactly what Obama complained about in his SOTU last week: handing out enormous bonuses. The Times of London reports that Goldman is planning to pay CEO Lloyd Blankfein a record $100 million bonus.

Yesterday, JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon and Goldman Sachs' Lloyd Blankfein talked to Congress about why they're sitting on billions of profits and you're broke. CityFile cataloged the many emotions on display.

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Goldman Sachs is hoping to redeem its damaged reputation by giving away bundles of cash to charity. What happens when one of the world's most profitable companies announces that the checkbook is open and the pen is in hand? Non-profit groups come calling, obviously.

"As it prepares to pay out big bonuses to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program that would require executives and top managers to give a certain percentage of their earnings to charity," the Times reports today. According to the paper, the plan could require execs at the embattled bank to give 4…