Glenn Beck Adds Gay Old Man to His List of Celebrity Impressions
On Fox & Friends this morning, Glenn Beck explained how Barack Obama must be stopped from using the PATRIOT Act—seriously!—to spy on whites by adding an aging British homosexual playing a wizard to his entertaining repertoire of impressions.
Iran Government Attempts to Distract Angry Populace with Lord of the Rings
What's a good way to keep people from protesting in the streets over a corrupt and demoralizing election? By showing them movies! Iran will be broadcasting the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in an effort to keep people indoors.
Ladies Love Cool Elijah
Like the swallows returning to the missions of San Juan Capistrano, all of the women attending the Marc Jacobs fashion show flocked to quirky actor Elijah Wood. The Lord of The Rings star could not find a moment of peace in the tents of Bryant Park. Wood was startled by his newfound status as a hunk, but relished the…
Hobbit Homes Halted
An Oregon man who built a 31-lot Lord of the Rings-themed development called The Shire—including a house with an attached "hobbit hole," a central area called the "Ring Bearer's Court," and a set of bylaws called the "Declaration of Interdependence"—now faces financial ruin because of the bad real estate market. Or…
Guillermo Del Toro Accidentally Short-Lists Himself for 'Sleepless in Seattle' Remake
Never saying never might be the smart play for Guillermo Del Toro, who once went off so memorably on the Lord of the Rings franchise ("I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don't like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits — I've never been into that at all. I don't like sword and sorcery, I hate all that…
If 'The Hobbit' Must Be Made, We'd Rather See One of These Directors at the Helm
Our dissatisfaction at Friday's news that Guillermo del Toro would inherit the Hobbit reins from Peter Jackson met with a mix of scorn and curiosity over the weekend. "Pony up an alternative, Cochise," wrote a commenter. "Destroy those two GENIUSES and all we will be left with is Lucas and Spielberg. And that is not…
'Hobbit' Director Debate Ignores Critical Fact that 'Hobbit' is Rubbish
There's been much to-do over the last day about Peter Jackson's hiring of Guillermo del Toro to direct the two-part Lord of the Rings prequel The Hobbit. Among our favorite dissenting opinions belongs to Salon critic Andrew O'Hehir, who pulls out his Cannes '06 interview notebook to look up del Toro's sentiment at…
Why Guillermo Del Toro Should Not Adapt The Hobbit
Lord of the Rings grandmaster Peter Jackson and New Line announced yesterday that Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo Del Toro will take on a two-film adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit in New Zealand under Jackson's supervision. If this sounds like positive news for those who have been waiting for…
Gandalf Is The Only Gay in Middle Earth
Sorry slashers and fan fiction enthusiasts, but none of it's real. Ian McKellen, the only openly gay man thought to be "cool" by fourteen year old boys, says that there was no homo hanky panky going on during Lord of the Rings filming. On the adorably named "E-Post" section of his website McKellen answers a reader's…
Everybody's Suing Everybody Day continues! Accusing New Line of employing the kind of "Hollywood accounting" practices that could secret billions of dollars of Lord of the Rings revenues in suspicious budget lines like "Hair/Make-up Hobbitscaping Services," "Elijah Wood Eye-Desparkling Effects," and "Hide all…
Yesterday, there was much rejoicing in Fanboy Middle Earth following the announcement that director Peter Jackson would return to produce two The Hobbit movies for New Line after settling his dispute over the Lord of the Rings profits the filmmaker said the studio owed him. But how much money did it take for Jackson…
Two Towers opens
The [potentially Oscar-winning] Lord of the Rings flick, The Two Towers opens at midnight.
· The Two Towers [Fandango]
· Metascore [MetaCritic]
· Two Towers Press Coverage [Google News]
· Early Critic Reviews [Rotten Tomatoes]
· MovieStocks: LRDR2 [Hollywood Stock Exchange]

