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In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep

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Agador Spartacus
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
The real tragedy here is that Judy Greer has been relegated to the "understanding, less attractive friend" niche.
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Calraigh promoted this comment Agador Spartacus was starred Agador Spartacus was unstarred

Steverino Begins
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
It's the sequel to Lars & the Real Girl?
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Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred

mslewis
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
Granted, since I despise her, I've only seen clips of her movies, but she looks the exact same in every one of them!! How is that possible? And, yes she gets lots of money for them whether they make money at the box office or not (and "Management" was definitely a NOT) but don't real actors get bored doing the same thing over and over? How can you get respect from your peers or even respect yourself if you just churn out these nonsensical, bad, poopie movies? Doesn't this woman even want to be considered for some kind of award rather than just showing up at the Oscars to announce the winner of the best lighting award? I don't get it . . . really, I don't!!
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snugbug promoted this comment mslewis was starred mslewis was unstarred

snugbug
09/10/09

@mslewis: Aniston was quite good in exactly one movie: 1999's "Office Space." Ever since, she's sucked--reliably, relentlessly. If I'm being totally objective, I don't think she's hideously bad. She's a light comedic actress capable of decent work if paired up with the right director. Drama is beyond her reach, though. "Derailed"?! Ugh. No. Just no.
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snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

ShanghaiLil
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
I bet Meryl Streep could do it much better, AND get a nomination.
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ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred

tigolbitties
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
dear commenter boos (well boos are for the ones i heart, but i would love for anyone to answer),
if "love happens when you least expect it" as the movie tagline or plotline or whatever the fuck line says and you are one of those people who want love to happen, wouldn't you always be expecting it? and then subsequently, wouldn't it never happen for you? i just wonder if i'm mulling this over too hard or if others wonder about this as well...
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tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred

easternsike
09/09/09

@tigolbitties: I think you should take this as- it will happen in the last place you would ever look for it. I don't think people "expect" it to happen - I think they "want it to happen really badly" and are actively searching for it and yes, in that case it will probably fail.
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tigolbitties promoted this comment Edited by easternsike at 09/09/09 3:31 PM easternsike was starred easternsike was unstarred

tigolbitties
09/09/09

@easternsike: ha! that's the other saying that really bothers me, the whole "last place you look/expect" well, yeah obviously it's where/or happened in the last place i look or expect, because i found it or it happened. so no need to keep searching...
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tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred

easternsike
09/09/09

@tigolbitties: well I will put it this way - someone who wants to be in love might possibly go to bar or something, trying to get laid or meet people and thus attach themself to anyone who offers attention. they will most likely fail because they try to hard. as for it happening in a place you wouldn'ty expect - i can't explain that. but i do believe it's true. it's like meditation - sit quietly and the truth will come to you!
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Edited by easternsike at 09/09/09 4:04 PM easternsike was starred easternsike was unstarred

ShanghaiLil
09/09/09

@easternsike: Let's try to clarify this by articulating a complimentary hypothesis: love does NOT happen when you're stalking someone.
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ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred

Rhymenocerous
09/09/09

@tigolbitties: I think you might be over analyzing. Just a touch.
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Rhymenocerous was starred Rhymenocerous was unstarred

valet_of_the_dolls
09/09/09

@tigolbitties: In the spirit of truth in advertising, they were going to call it "Shit Happens", but they were afraid of being haunted by the ghost of Jack Valenti.
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valet_of_the_dolls was starred

tigolbitties
09/09/09

@ShanghaiLil: indeed - i have learned this the hard way.
@rhymenocerous: ok, that's what i needed to hear, i am over analyzing right? but does it make it any less true... ok i'm forcing myself to stop this!
@valet_of_the_dolls: but even the ghost of Jack Valenti didn't want poor Jennifer Aniston.
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tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
I mean seriously, what is she doing?

I hate to get on the "Aniston is sad, lonely, and an awful actress" meme, but really, hasn’t she made the same movie at least seven times now? It’s like the laziest movie trajectory I think I’ve ever witnessed. What was the difference between Friends with Money, Rumor Has It, Love Happens, He’s Just Not That Into You, Management, The Object of My Affection, and Picture Perfect? She was absolutely the same person in each and every one. Fuck it. The only thing left is to actually do that movie with Jolie.
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Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

Paddington
09/09/09

@Spirit Fingers:

I do the same thing at work every day, too. And I ain't getting $20 million a pop.
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Rhymenocerous promoted this comment Paddington was starred Paddington was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
09/09/09

I dunno. I used to like her. I thought she had some pretty decent comedic timing and could stretch that into solid rom-com fare at least. But she's even failing at that. Honestly, I think she's playing it too safe and taking roles that are too closely in line with who she is as a person, instead of finding something new within herself. (That and she's still not over the break-up. No, really, she isn't. Time to get over it.) BUT, even if she wants to do the fluff stuff, it's better to carve your own niche like Amy Adams or Emily Blunt, than be a tired old, former TV person like annoying Katherine Heigel.
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Edited by Spirit Fingers at 09/09/09 4:57 PM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred

Wendy_Kroy
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
Is that first scene supposed to be an homage to In the Company of Men? If so, in this version are we supposed to root against the deaf girl?
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Edited by Wendy_Kroy at 09/09/09 3:10 PM Wendy_Kroy was starred Wendy_Kroy was unstarred

___
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
Did Jennifer Aniston's latest bomb "The Master Baster" with Jason Bateman hit theatres already?

Jennifer plays a single woman who gets artificially inseminated to have a baby on her own. Her best friend Jason Bateman is in love with her and replaces the donated semen with his own. (How romantic!)

A more accurate story line would be Jennifer sneaks into Brangelina's palace, drugs Pitt, steals his sperm and starts mass producing his babies.
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secretagentman promoted this comment ___ was starred ___ was unstarred

secretagentman
09/09/09

@Unforgiven: No, they are holding it back for Oscar season.
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secretagentman was starred secretagentman was unstarred

___
09/09/09

@secretagentman: Or more likely for the Golden Raspberries (or "Razzies") for worst movie of the year.

They should rename the Golden Raspberry for Worst Actress the "Jennifer Aniston Memorial Award".
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___ was starred ___ was unstarred

ShanghaiLil
09/09/09

@Unforgiven: Because nothing says, "I love you," like theft, betrayal, and involuntarily inseminating the object of one's affection.
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ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred

___
09/09/09

@ShanghaiLil: I prefer inseminating the new love interest of my former love interest
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___ was starred ___ was unstarred

Nic Fit
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
Proving my theory that every rom-com hookup starts with the guy asking awkwardly, "so, do you want to, like, have a cup of coffee?" (I-can't-believe-I-just-said-that... look on face).
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Edited by Nic Fit at 09/09/09 2:58 PM Nic Fit was starred Nic Fit was unstarred

Say that is cool
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
Congrats Richard, you matched Jennifer's feat today when writing this post.
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Edited by Say that is cool at 09/09/09 2:58 PM Say that is cool was starred Say that is cool was unstarred

taco-flavored-kisses
09/09/09

@Say that is cool: Is that a joke or a snarky insult? I thought this post was genius.
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Conchie Birdie
09/09/09

@taco-flavored-kisses: It feels very Onion-like.
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Richard Rushfield promoted this comment Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

Richard Rushfield
09/09/09

@Conchie Birdie: It was Onion like, you are right. But had to be said all the same
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Richard Rushfield was starred

Conchie Birdie
09/09/09

@Richard Rushfield: It was only a matter of time. Next up, Tim Burton, Johhny Depp Unemployed after Making Last of Your Favorite Childhood Characters Dark and Creepy
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Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred

FaceMelter
09/09/09

In reply to In Stunning Breakthough, Jennifer Aniston Performs Role While Actually Asleep
That's Kate Hudson. You are confused.
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FaceMelter was starred FaceMelter was unstarred

bytememehard
09/09/09

@FaceMelter: I think Kate is actually younger and prettier and has never been married to someone better-looking than herself, but, yes, is an equally untalented blonde, so the confusion is forgivable.
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bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred

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