The short answer is probably not, but she sure will try. We speculated that her busty cover of GQ and her SNL gig were a play for career-after-Mad Men because creator Matthew Weiner wasn't bringing her back. (And given the show's relatively low salary, she'd wouldn't mind moving on.) She had an uphill struggle because many people (including plenty of our regular commenters and even her ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher) believe that because she plays an icy, passive character on the show that she can't act. While her cleavage did wonders for her public image, she did herself no favors with her lame stab at sketch comedy over the weekend.

Now that everyone thinks she can't act, her chances at movie star fame ruined, and Betty Draper's proximity to the central plot on the wane (if her character isn't cut entirely), what is Ms. Jones to do? Here are her options:

Indie Film: If she gets a plum role in an Oscar-bait indie and knocks the role out of the park, she could redeem herself and establish some much-needed street cred. Just look at what Precious is doing for Mo'Nique (of all people) right now.

Procedural: They must be casting for NCIS: Twin Cities or some shit like that. Actors in these jobs just need to be able to look good and deliver their lines, which we know that she can do. It's not going to win her any awards, but it will be a steady acting job and a big fat paycheck for years to come.

Girlfriend Roles: Join the Judd Apatow crew or play the remarkably attractive love interest for some schlub like Adam Sandler. If the movie hits big no one will confuse you with a Stella Adler devotee, but you'll be able to get some more jobs out of it.

Obscurity: She doesn't have to be an actress. Maybe she would be better suited as a lunch lady who mumbles to herself, "I used to be someone!" We always did see her in hair nets.

Sex Tape: This will get her tons of attention, but in terms of work, the best she can hope for is a reality project (see Hilton, Paris and Kardashian, Kim). Still it would be lots of fun to watch!

[Image via Getty]

The biggest lesson is that there isn't much out there that is as great as Mad Men. It's going to be a long wait until the show returns next summer, but until then, maybe we can all keep ourselves warm with one of these substitues, but it's doubtful.

The Prisoner
Similarities to Mad Men: Mining '60s culture for a modern day story.
Differences from Mad Men: This remake seems to be scared of its heritage, avoiding the pseudo-psychedelic, swinging London vibe of the original.
Reasons to Watch: AMC thinks it's a worthy replacement to Mad Men, placing The Prisoner in Mad Men's time slot cage for its six-episode run. Ian McKellen is pretty awesome in everything, espeically when he plays the villain.
Reasons to Avoid: We were underwhelmed with the first installment, and it's only six episodes long. That will barely get us through the first month of MM withdrawl.
Replacement Analogy: The Prisoner is to a Rolling Stones cover band as Mad Men is to Mick Jagger live in concert.

Dexter
Similarities to Mad Men: An intelligent drama with a dark mood and characters with questionable morality that every so often has some grisly blood spray.
Differences from Mad Men: Showtime's serial killer drama doesn't have the subtlety that we get from Draper and company.
Reasons to Watch: It is an interesting and suspenseful take with a very distinct point of view. This season John Lithgow is doing a knock-out job playing the calm but crazy Trinity Killer.
Reasons to Avoid: There's lots of back story to catch up on, and if you don't like blood, guts, and murders, you're better off cracking open a book.
Replacement Analogy: Dexter is to a bludgeoning as Mad Men is to a slow death by poison.

Brothers and Sisters
Similarities to Mad Men: Lots of family drama and intrigue in the work place.
Differences from Mad Men: Ojai Foods is a far cry from Sterling Cooper, and Betty Draper couldn't care less about her kids where as meddlesome Nora Walker can't go 10 minutes without calling them on the phone.
Reasons to Watch: ABC's ensemble drama has a look inside some fun and wacky family dynamics. Also, Nora has a hot new boyfriend.
Reasons to Avoid: This season has the two story lines that make all TV shows boring: cancer and pregnancy. Every episode is kind of the same: there's a secret, the family has a dinner party, the secret comes out at the party, everyone fights, then they make up. Yawn.
Replacement Analogy: Brothers and Sisters is to a family funeral as Mad Men is to an Irish wake.

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Similarities to Mad Men: A wealthy, creative, annoying man driving everyone crazy.
Differences from Mad Men: Larry David only dreams he could be as handsome as Don Draper, and when Mad Men makes you cringe, it's from finely crafted emotional storytelling, not wacky embarrassing stunts.
Reasons to Watch: Haven't you heard, there's a Seinfeld Reunion and it's only on HBO.
Reasons to Avoid: Larry David.
Replacement Analogy: Curb Your Enthusiasm is to Bruno as Mad Men is to Borat.

Family Guy
Similarities to Mad Men: Um...
Differences from Mad Men: This ubiquitous, animated Fox comedy that is a string of non sequiturs, absurdest rants, and silly ditties is about as far away from the '60s advertising drama as you're going to get.
Reasons to Watch: In case you need to have a conversation with a straight boy between the ages of 16 and 28.
Reasons to Avoid: It's Family Guy.
Replacement Analogy: Family Guy is to beer bongs as Mad Men is to scotch.

60 Minutes
Similarities to Mad Men: CBS' news magazine also features bunch of people who have been working since the early '60s.
Differences from Mad Men: The people are old now (and don't dress as sharply) and think they still know what goes on in the world.
Reasons to Watch: Inappropriate crushes on Leslie Stahl and nostalgia for the ticking watch.
Reasons to Avoid: Andy Rooney.
Replacement Analogy: 60 Minutes is to Parade as Mad Men is to vintage Esquire.

Going to the Movies
Similarities to Mad Men: Decadent and at times either serious or comedic, depending on the mood.
Differences from Mad Men: It's the movies, not TV, so every time it's different. This week we went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox, which was smooth, sylish, and visually interesting, like Mad Men, but its overwrought hipster vibe couldn't be different from the show's cool detachment.
Reasons to Watch: Going to the movies every week will keep you culturally relevant. If you catch the late show on Sunday night when MM is usually on, the cineplex is also less crowded than the rest of the weekend
Reasons to Avoid: Leaving the house on Sunday night, $12.50 a pop, and the empty calories from all that pop corn.
Replacement Analogy: Going to the movies is to Twizzlers as Mad Men is to Betty's meatloaf.

Mad Men on DVD
Similarities to Mad Men: Well, it's Mad Men, just all the ones you've seen already.
Differences from Mad Men: No commercials, watch as many as you want whenever you want, bonus material.
Reasons to Watch: With a show as difficult as this, you can't catch everything the first time around, so a rewatch is definitely rewarding. Knowing what happens in season three puts everything in seasons one and two in a different context.
Reasons to Avoid: There are no surprises.
Replacement Analogy: Mad Men on DVD is to your wedding day as Mad Men on TV is to your first date with your future spouse.

• The Wrap writes of the challenges facing AMC in following up on the success of its two original shows, Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Since the pair of critical darlings launched, the network's development team has changed and this weekend's debut of The Prisoner marks the first try-out for the new execs, with two new series coming up behind it. While the kiniptions Mad Men provokes in the media have always been hugely disproportionate to its raw audience size, which is generally in the one to two million range, Men's success is due to a little fluke of its audience demographics. The Wrap notes that more than half of its viewers earn six figure incomes, making it pretty much the official show of American rich people. But while Men and Breaking are bringing in cash for the network, the piece notes that between them they can only produce 26 episodes a year, a long, long way from the sort of programming pipeline needed to take the network to the next level, revenue-wise. And what with the economic downturn, America's rich have a lot more time to dedicate to their Tivo's and their needs must be fed. [The Wrap]

• Fox has re-signed Emma Watts to serve as its President of Production for the next three years, a move which Variety says, "keeps Fox as a bastion of stability at a time when studios are rife with executive shakeups." [Variety]

• Charlie's Angels may be coming home to the little screen. ABC is reportedly on the brink of a deal to bring the story of three little girls who went to the police academy back full circle to where it all began for them. Josh Friedman, who wrote Fox's Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles is on board to executive produce the show. And now they work for him. [Variety]

• American box offices are bracing this weekend for a medium to large-sized tsunami of cash unleashed by the release of 2012. The disaster epic is expected to take in between $50 - $55 million this weekend with no other major film entering wide release against it. The film enters the marketplace with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 38 which The Wrap points out is an improvement over the 9 percent positive rating of director Roland Emmerich's previous film 10,000 B.C. [The Wrap]

• The Vice-Chairman of Lions Gate said that his company would be interested in buying MGM but "It's all about price," that is, if they can get the James Bond franchise for very little money, sure they'd be happy to do that. While trumpeting the news the LA Times makes the "imagine that/you don't say" point that, every company in Hollywood would be willing to absorb MGM and Bond if they can get them for nothing or next to it. [LA Times]

• The Who have been booked to entertain tens of millions of drunken, nacho-engorged football fans when they play the halftime show of this season's Superbowl. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Despite SAG's rejection of proposed terms, AFTRA's membership ratified a new contract with video game makers, taking a 2.5 percent pay raise for its actors. [Hollywood Reporter]

While Mad Men is a critical darling and its ratings are growing, it has never been a ratings bonanza for AMC and the pay is notoriously low. And after three seasons of being on "TV's best show," the siren song of more lucrative TV and movie roles may be irresistible. Plus, the way that series creator Matthew Weiner left things — Sterling Cooper as we knew it is dissolved, newly formed Sterling Cooper Draper Price may make it out of the Pierre Hotel, and Don's marriage is effectively over — almost any any character could be easily written out. So it would not be surprising if some of the regular characters disappear entirely from the show by next summer with nothing but a line of dialogue — "Oh, Peggy couldn't stand working next to Pete and Duck hired her after three weeks" — and a guest appearance or two.

Here your betting guide for who's coming back as a regular for Mad Men's fourth series, from most likely to call-your-agent.

Don Draper
Played By: Jon Hamm
Last We Saw Him: Lording over his new kingdom in a hotel room.
Why Stay: There wouldn't be a show without him.
Why Leave: After a great guest spot on 30 Rock, Hamm is getting more attention than anyone in the cast, for drama as well as comedy. He's also involved in several upcoming movies like Howl, The Town, and Sucker Punch.
Odds of Returning: 1: 1,000,000 (come on, there's no Mad Men without Don Draper)

Peggy Olsen
Played By: Elizabeth Moss
Last We Saw Her: Working for Don at the new firm.
Why Stay: She's a fan favorite with a great role and her character is on solid ground at the new firm.
Why Leave: To be a movie star! She's come a long way since her days on The West Wing. Between this an a well-regarded turn on Broadway opposite sushi-poisoned Jeremy Piven in Speed The Plow, now may be her time.
Odds of Returning: 1: 500

Roger Sterling
Played By: John Slattery
Last We Saw Him: Don's new best friend and business partner.
Why Stay: Roger gets all the ladies, funny lines, and best bits. Who doesn't want to play the scene stealer. Plus, Slattery and Hamm are besties.
Why Leave: There will be plenty of work for a veteran character actor like Slattery—work that probably pays a lot better.
Odds of Returning: 1:200

Pete Campbell
Played By: Vincent Kartheiser
Last We Saw Him: Don's new protege at the new firm.
Why Stay: He has a nice juicy, high-profile role that's far better than anything else he'll land.
Why Leave: He doesn't have a good reason.
Odds of Returning: 1: 100

Joan Holloway
Played By: Christina Hendricks
Last We Saw Her: The new office queen of Sterling Cooper Draper Price.
Why Stay: Because if she doesn't, we will slit our wrists.
Why Leave: Holloway is a sexy lady who has been on the fringes of TV for awhile. She may see this as her break. She's in next winter movie Life as We Know It, and she has proven to have the looks and the talent to anchor a TV show of her own.
Odds of Returning: 1: 75

Trudy Campbell
Played By: Alison Brie
Last We Saw Him: Delivering a cake in a wonderful red bucket hat.
Why Stay: Who else is going to nudge Pete in the right direction. And we need someone to show off retro fashions.
Why Leave: This isn't the biggest role, unless she and Pete get an upgrade.
Odds of Returning: 1:50

Harry Crane
Played By: Rich Sommer
Last We Saw Her: Eating one of Trudy's sandwiches at Sterling Cooper Draper Price.
Why Stay: He was saved by this plot twist, which means the writers have something in store for him.
Why Leave: Harry never gets to do much of anything, not even supporting character zany. He may want to stretch his legs.
Odds of Returning: 1: 10

Betty Draper
Played By: January Jones
Last We Saw Her: On the plane to Reno to get a divorce from Don with her future ex-husband Henry.
Why Stay: Because it would be great fun to watch Betty get tortured some more.
Why Leave: She has every reason to leave. Betty's storyline is at an obvious stopping point, at least as featured character. January Jones has been making the PR push, putting her boobs on GQ, hosting Saturday Night Live, and attaching herself to a number of projects. She also has a part in the upcoming Pirate Radio, so it certainly looks like she's planning a busy schedule away from Mad Men
Odds of Returning: 1:5

Sally, Bobby, and Gene Draper
Played By: Kiernan Shipka, Jared Gilmore, some baby
Last We Saw Them: On the couch with Carla being dazed by the TV.
Why Stay: They're kids. What, would they rather go to like real school? Also, they're Don's kids. You can't just erase them.
Why Leave: Or can you? If Betty leaves for good (maybe she and Henry settle in Reno and open a casino?) the kids go with her. And Bachelor Don is going to have plenty of babes to play with.
Odds of Returning: 3:1

Ken Cosgrove
Played By: Aaron Staton
Last We Saw Him: Left at the former Sterling Cooper, but as head of accounts.
Why Stay: A steady job—albeit a small part and, hey, maybe the writers need a way to a character to demonstrate life inside soulless McCann-Erickson.
Why Leave: Staton would be bummed to be cut, but it'd be really easy for him to go off and finally become a novelist.
Odds of Returning: 5:1

Bert Cooper
Played By: Robert Morse
Last We Saw Him: Keeping the sofa warm at his newest ad agency.
Why Stay: As an older gentleman, just like Cooper, if Morse leaves, there isn't going to be much work for him elsewhere. At least not with this high a profile.
Why Leave: He may not have a choice. Cooper doesn't do all that much, and when they need a big shock, it will be easy to give him a stroke/heart attack/Japanese armor accident at any time.
Odds of Returning: 10:1

Paul Kinsey
Played By: Michael Gladis
Last We Saw Him: Wishing Don had taken him instead of Peggy.
Why Stay: There's not much else for him on the horizon.
Why Leave: We have a feeling he doesn't want to, but if we're looking to streamline the cast, his peripheral character is an easy cut.
Odds of Returning: 75: 1

Sal Romano
Played By: Brian Batt
Last We Saw Him: Calling his wife from a pay phone before cruising the after he was fired from Sterling Cooper.
Why Stay: Well, he is effectively gone, but the way his storyline ended, he always seemed like he'd be back for more. Plus his "gay in the closet" storyline has tons of ways it could play out and lots of modern day implications.
Why Leave: He is already gone. Don could rehire him, but their main client is American Tobacco, the company that had him fired in the first place, so that seems about as likely as a Judy Garland Resurrection Tour.
Odds of Returning: 100 : 1 (but we really want him back!)

The season finale (directed by show creator Matthew Weiner himself) was all about Don's relationships and how he rectifies them in order to move on creating his own advertising agency. Usually happy to be the lone gunman, Don has to rally the troops in order to stake out on his own, which means checking his ego, doing some apologizing, and letting some of the people in his life know just how he really thinks about them. And Joan came back! And Trudy wore a killer hat. All was right with the world as it—and Don—strikes out in a new direction.

Don and Connie: As he has been all season, Hilton is a stand in for Don's father, who also got some face time this episode. We learn from Hilton that Sterling Cooper has been sold to a larger agency, one that Don—or anyone else for that matter—doesn't want to work for. Because of that, Hilton drops Don, which leaves him in the lurch because he had to sign a three-year contract to secure the Hilton deal in the first place.

But what he's really upset about is that he doesn't have his independence. He is energized by Connie's final question: is he going to be a whiner or is he going to be a winner? And with the promise that they'll do business again in the future, Connie gives Don the final push to try to take his future into his own hands.

This leads to the flashbacks concerning Don's father, who we learn wasn't happy with the price his crops were going to get in a cooperative, so he struck out on his own to do what was right for him. Instead of selling for cheap, Whitman Sr decides to hold onto his crop and sell it in the winter when it will fetch more money. Though Don tried to shed his past like a snake wriggling out of a dirty skin that was far too tight, he is still his father's son. When things aren't working out for him, he decided that he would rather do the right thing on his own and possibly fail, than succeed as an automaton for The Man.

This is later reinforced when we learn that Don's father was literally killed by caving in. When there isn't much money left, Don's stepmother convinces her very drunk husband that he has to sell his crop. He says he'll go immediately, and Don goes with him to make sure he doesn't literally fall off the wagon. But he doesn't even get on the road, when a spooked horse kicks him in the face and kills him. If he had stood by his principal and held onto his crop, he never would have been out there to be kicked in the first place, and might still be alive—or at least lived a bit longer.

While Don might be the indepence-at-all-costs, up-by-the-bootstraps, fuck-them-all-I-know-what's-right product of his father, he is determined not to be him. He is not bending over to get kicked in the face while McCann fucks him for the rest of his life.

Don and Roger: It was easy for Don to convince Bert Cooper to get on board with his plan of buying the agency (or striking out on their own, as they eventually do) since Cooper would be let go if the agency was sold again. However, it wasn't going to be a cake walk to convince Roger Sterling, who Don has spent the whole season trying to distance himself from.

It would seem that Sterling would much rather sit in his office counting his piles of coins like Scrooge McDuck while kicking back a few drinks and then going home to goose his pretty young wife before passing out in his expensive bed than actually run an ad agency. But he has the money and the accounts to make a new agency work, and it seems like he still has the ambition too. What he really needs is Don to supplicate himself, which he does with great sincerity. Roger hits the nail on the head when he tells Don he's no good at relationships because he doesn't value them. We see that with his home life as well as how things go around the office.

It's great that egotastic Don can be self actualized enough to know he needs Roger to deal with the clients and make them happy, since that's not in his grainy little heart. As we see during their scene at the bar when Roger tells Don that Betty is seeing Henry Francis, Don and Roger work much better when collaborating than they do when competing.

The other brilliant thing that Roger brings with him is St. Joan. As soon as Cooper brought up the fact that no one knows where anything is, we thought, "What a brilliant way to bring back Joan," and the vision of her sauntering in to save the day with her red hair coaxed into tight perfecting and the gold pen swaying seductively between her enormous knockers brought tears to our eyes. Welcome back, kiddo.

Don and Pete: Don has never been the biggest fan of man-child Pete, but both he and Roger know that Pete is the much better account man for the small (at first) firm they're planning than Ken Cosgrove, the upward failing buffoon who seems like he was made for a life in middle management. While Ken might have beat out Pete at Sterling Cooper because he was a yes man who could fit into the corporate culture, he doesn't have the instinct that Pete has to make it in the big time.

Of course, to get him, Don has to put his condescension aside and let Pete know that he will be a valued member of the team. Of course, Pete asks for more than he's worth, but better that than not asking for enough. This is really the best possible outcome for Pete. He was on the outs at SC anyway, and his interviews at other agencies may or may not have panned out, but he will succeed quite nicely at a firm that will value his gifts while overlooking the fact that he is an immature cad deep in his chewy center.

Speaking of great members of the team, Pete would really be nothing without Trudy. She fixes things up all nice when Don and Roger come a-calling, and excuses herself with a plausible story when they get there. When Pete starts to lose the way her call of "Peter, can I speak to you for a minute," sets him back on the right course. She isn't allowed into the conversation, but just knowing that she's listening turns his rudder in the right direction. She never strong arms, she just nudges. And then she brings sandwiches. And wears a cute hat! If Betty is gone for good next season, we're going to need someone to give us Suburban Splendor Barbie realness, and it's going to have to be Trudy.

Pete got over his hurt quickly and signed up, and another easy sell was Lane Price. Unhappy with being unappreciated, shuffled around, and generally maligned by his bosses and liking the life in New York away from the class constraints of his native land, Price was ripe for the crew to pick off. Considering he was integral to their plan to get the ball rolling, it's good he agreed. We look forward to seeing more of his strangely shaped head around the office. But, oh, his poor wife!

Don and Peggy: Don handled the Peggy situation all wrong, at least the first time around. He naturally thought of her first to take with him to the new agency, but he orders her about like he controls her. It's funny that Don has such a great way with seducing women in his private life but he can be so blind to what Peggy needs at work.

This whole season Peggy's storyline was about empowerment. She smoked weed, she slept around with a boy, she got an apartment and a roommate, she put her domineering mother behind her, she even got her secretary to respect her (even though winning over her colleagues was a bit harder). And finally, she realized that she has a promising career in advertising and a sexual being, both thanks to skeevy Duck. So when Don comes at her like she's a blubbering child, she finally stands on her own, letting him know that she has other offers, and that she is not there for him to kick around. Spurned, Don reacts the way he usually does when he doesn't get his way, by being a cocky asshole.

The way he handles her the second time was perfect though. Don uses his best pitching skills to win Peggy over. Don knows that things have changed—not just for him and the firm, but something fundamental in the culture—and that Peggy is necessary to keeping up with that shift. She's smart and creative and, like Don says, a miniature version of himself. She is often depicted as a mini Don, giving up her personal life for work, but this episode she seemed more like a grown up version of Sally. When Don makes his offer for a second time she says, "If I say 'no' you'll never talk to me again," and starts to tear up, betraying that all she really wants from Don is his approval. The scene where Don makes up with Peggy comes right after the scene where Sally storms off when he tells the kids he and Betty are getting divorced. It seems like Don making peace with Peggy, his office daughter, is somehow akin to him making peace with Sally.

Of course, Peggy agrees to join the team (she nearly broke our heart with joy with the tiny wave of excitement she made when storming the office) and her best moment was yet to come. When the newly assembled Mad Men All-Stars are planning to extricate themselves from the office, Roger tells her to go make him some coffee. She is a secretary no more, she is an equal member of the team, and she is strong and secure in her position. "No," she says in an even and forceful tone, which says, "You will never ask me to do that shit again."

Don and Betty: Wow, Betty actually did it! She asks for a divorce so that she can leave Don and marry Henry Francis. This was the only bit of tying up that had nothing to do with work. This year was very personal, focusing on the denizens of Sterling Cooper in their personal lives rather than in the office, so it was a bit surprising when the final episode centered around the creation of a whole new office. Of course, we couldn't forget about Don's disintegrating home life.

When he comes home drunk to confront Betty about Henry, he puts her journey this season into perspective: Betty was building a life raft. Everything she's done this year has been to get away from Don. Starting things with Henry, finding out his past, getting money from her father—it was her escape route. After all his transgressions, divorcing Don wasn't so much a circumstance, but an inevitability. Poor Betty, doesn't she see that she's leaping from one bad situation to the next. Henry Francis—who barely knows you but wants to marry you!!—will probably be just as bad and stifling as Don. Just as Don said, he gave her everything she wanted, and that wasn't enough, she still wasn't happy. Why does she think replicating it with Henry will have some magically different effect?

When Don chooses to insult her, he really knows how to do it. He calls her a bad mother which, duh, and then calls her a whore. There were several prostitute references last night which are that much more meaningful given Don's mother was a hooker. When he needs to show ultimate disdain for Betty, that's the word he goes for. When talking about the sale of Sterling Cooper, Roger says it's like going from "one john's bed to another." Painting the old firm to look like a whore is the surest way to get Don to distance himself from it. Also, Lane Price's assistant "Moneypenny" is really named Mr. Hooker. We don't know how that fits in, but...hmm?

Back to Betty and Don, she takes off for six weeks in Reno so that she can get an easy divorce from Don, because she can't prove that he's been unfaithful. Maybe she should make about three phone calls, because the wronged ladies shouldn't be that hard to dig up to testify against him. Of course bad mother Betty leaves the kids with Carla while she jets off with her new lover to Reno to get divorced/married. This makes us hate Betty.

Also, the scene where they tell the kids about the divorce was super painful to watch. Don tries his best to pitch the kids on the idea of their new life, but they're not buying it. Betty can't do anything but hide behind her hand and try to keep the tears in. Future lesbian Sally storms off, sad that daddy is leaving. Little Bobby pleads for daddy to stay, but he won't. No wonder this kid is going to be snorting lines with a very dapper, emotionally-distant Halston in the VIP lounge of Studio 54—he's working out some serious daddy issues. But when Don hugged his son and earlier when he climbed into bed with Sally, we see that he really cares deeply about his children, despite his cool demeanor. But he barely sees them now that they live in the same house, how much time is he going to spend with them now?

Sterling Cooper Draper Price, How May I Help You?: Don Draper's marriage may have dissolved, but his firm has just started. He, Roger, Bert, and Lane have drafted Peggy, Harry Crane, Pete, and St. Joan as their coalition of the willing to steal clients and bust into the art department (yes, we saw that someone placed a curlicue letter F in front of Art Department) to take whatever they can get their hands on.

This wasn't necessarily a cliffhanger, because the decisive action has been taken. We won't be left guessing "Will they leave?" a la "Who shot J.R.?" but we are left with plenty of questions to ponder over the winter (or in the comments section). Here are a few:

Now that Peggy and Pete are working in a tiny office together, are they ever going to come to terms with their past?

What is going to happen to Peggy and Duck? Is that still going on? Is he going to ruin Don's new agency?

Just what the heck is Bert Cooper going to do? There's no room for his armor and he can't take naps anymore. Do they even need him?

Lane Price's wife was unhinged before their stay in the U.S. became indefinite. How soon before she goes completely bonkers?

So, does this mean Betty is gone for good or are we going to get to see her staggering unhappiness with Henry?

How soon before Roger starts doing Joan again?

How soon before Doctor Rapist is killed in Vietnam?

Will they think of something interesting for Harry to do?

And what the heck is going on with Suzanne (nee Missy) Sally's teacher that Don was diddling? Why didn't he just go right back to her when Betty called it quits? Will she be coming back?

How sweet is Don's bachelor pad going to be? Just wait for the Mad Men furniture line at CB2.

If Don isn't married, is he just going to spend all of his time scoring ladies or just most of it?

At times it seems like Mad Men—our favorite historical drama about the personal and professional lives of retro ad men—is populated by a bunch of selfish egoists who only care about themselves. But, then again, so is life, so it makes sense that when a national tragedy strikes, everyone reverts back to the basic foundations of their personality to deal with the news. Their coping mechanisms say more about how these individuals deal with their own lives than they do with the passing of the president.

Despair and Confusion: When the president is killed, people are naturally going to be upset because, well, it's sad, and it upsets the natural order of things. We're used to a hierarchical structure of government with someone at the top who is wise and strong and who will protect us when bad things happen. When an event occurs to disrupt that, we begin to question not only our safety, but everything about our lives and the fragility of our happiness. That leads to confusion, and confusion often leads to clarity, but it always leads to rash acts.

This plays out beautifully with beautiful, beautiful Betty, whose fragile shell cracks when she learns the news. She puts herself to bed and withdraws even further from her family. For her, Kennedy being shot is her way of dealing with Don confessing the truth of his past. The strong, handsome man she can trust has been murdered, and she is sad because her life has been ruined. The pretty fairy tale facade that she tries so hard to cultivate has been nothing but an illusion, and when she wakes up from her dream, she finds a very scary reality: she is deeply unhappy.

That shouldn't be too much of a shock to her, but when the only stability in her life—the cool control that Don exerts over her—is subverted by the disclosure of his past, she has to find some way to recover. Initially, she lets Don control her again. At the wedding, she accepts that everything is going to be OK, because Don tells her that it will. When the ill-fated reception is over, Betty (in a rather dowdy dress that Michael Kors from Project Runway would describe as "mother-of-the-bride") is walking towards both Don and Henry, her object of unfulfilled desire. She chooses Don, hoping that, like he says, everything will go back to normal shortly.

Then, Oswald is shot by Jack Ruby in front of America, and Betty freaks out again. Passively listening to Don isn't going to work anymore, and she needs something else—someone else—to satisfy her.

Selfishness: Naturally, some of the characters are only worried about how the assassination is going to affect them. Most notably is Roger's daughter, who finds out about the news and cries, in her wedding dress, that the ceremony will be ruined. Damn right, sister.

Pete is the king of selfishness and uses the whole incident as a substitute for his unhappiness at Sterling Cooper. We start off the episode and hear that he's being demoted from co-head of accounts with Ken to a lesser position. Ken will be the new head of accounts, and Pete will be working under him. How their jobs are different, we don't quite know, but we do know that Pete lost. Well-bred and ambition, Pete is distraught because he thinks that he deserves the job more than the stupid yahoo Ken, who still manages to succeed in spite of himself. Ken is Lydon Johnson to his Kennedy, at least in his own warped mind.

On an aside, we're still not quite sure why the office was freezing when Pete got the news of his demotion (the cold shoulder?) and sweltering when Don blew his top about not having an art director (hot headed?). Maybe it just shows that no one has control in the office anymore, not only over their own careers but also of the environment itself.

Back to Pete, who deals with the news by pouting and eating cereal and getting drunk, which is exactly how he copes with the president being murdered. "I felt for a second like everything was about to change," Pete says about the Democrat's death, but he really means about his own station following his promotion at the beginning of the year. He says he's so upset that he's not going to the wedding. Trudy (who may have better style than even Betty Draper, but she definitely had better hats), tries to get Pete to go, because he has to play the game of office politics. But eventually this Lady MacBeth relents, and they are the only ones conspicuously absent from the party.

Trudy realized the same thing Pete did, he may still have a job, but he is done at the firm. Ken won and he will be the one on the rise, while Pete's career will fester in middle management until he dies. He is using the excuse of the president's death to get out of a social obligation, just like he will soon get himself out of the firm. We bet the first thing he does on Tuesday is call Duck for a job.

Pull the Plug: While waiting for Peggy to arrive for their "nooner," an invitation that she brazenly accepted in front of Paul, Duck hears the news of the attack on the TV. When there's a knock on the door, instead of saying "Hey, check this out," he pulls the plug on the television so that Peggy won't hear and he'll still get to have sex. When the romp is done, he starts thinking about it again. When he and Peggy hear that the President has been killed, he reacts by thinking first of his children. Peggy doesn't see that this relationship, for him, is primarily about sex, which is sad, because she seems to be falling for him.

Like Duck (who looks much better with his clothes off than we imaged he would, not that we ever imagined it before we saw it, but still), Peggy has pulled the plug, and would rather have a relationship than deal with the news that it's not right with Duck. We find out that she has been having lunch with him often and that he's been spending nights in her apartment, that is starting to smell like his aftershave. It seems like Peggy wants their relationship to become something more, especially when we find her in the office at the end of the episode.

Rather than dealing with the president's death, she goes in to work to pretend like it isn't happening. Also, she has been displaced from her life. She says that her apartment is full of her roommate's friends being frivolous, and her mother's house is too full of her mother and her emotions, so she heads into the office. Peggy is ready for the next step. She doesn't want to be at home with her domineering mother or living the single life with a bunch of giggling office girls, she wants to be playing house with Duck. Obviously, that's not going to work, and she's going to end up married to her job. And as the door closes on a sad, lonely Don drinking in the dark while the nation mourns, we get a little snapshot into Peggy's future.

Life Goes On: Just because the president has been killed, does that mean everything should stop. Roger certainly doesn't think so, and refuses to cancel his daughter's wedding, just days after the event. Of course, no one shows, and all his employees who do—which is everyone but Pete—is in the kitchen watching the television, along with Roger's child bride, who would rather hide out than deal with the stepdaughter who can barely disguise her contempt for her new mother.

When he returns home drunk from the reception with his very drunk wife (this is the second time we've seen her get shitfaced beyond belief), he gets on the phone with Joan. Just last week we saw Roger asserting his happiness with Jane, is that starting to sour already? First, he is pissed off with her for going to lunch with his daughter (an anger than makes the Misses just as mad), then for hanging in the kitchen, and then for being a mess.

Of course, Saint Joan is beautiful, patient, and sober and offering very sage advice on the other end of the phone. Life is happening, she tells Roger. Mourn as you will—both the president, and his unpopular decision to dump his wife for a young secretary—but that doesn't mean that the world is going to stop for you. And she will not allow any joking about this. Oh no, mister.

Life hasn't stopped for Joanie, who seems to be doing well with Doctor Rapist, who is off working in the E.R. now that he joined the Army. She's at home being the happy housewife, or so it seems. Making the best out of a bad situation and keeping a cool head. That's our girl. Let's just see how long this is going to last.

Control: Like always, Don tries to exert control over the situation when everyone is mourning the president. He does the right thing and tells his television-addicted future hippie daughter and future Studio 54 denizen son that everything is going to be OK. He tries to do the same thing to Betty, but, at the end of the night, he's borrowing one of her sleeping pills to forget the pain inside.

Initially Betty reverts to her old behavior, letting Don have the upper hand, but when his control is shattered by the unpredictability of world events, she goes running to Henry. She makes a quick excuse to get out of the house and meets him in her car, the seat of their last act of intimacy, but instead of kissing through the window, he is now invited in. "Have you thought there are other ways to live?" he asks her. Well, thanks mister, now she has. And rather than just patting her hand, sending her to bed, and telling her it will be fine, Henry says he would do something for her to cheer her up, like take her to see her favorite movie. She tells us it is Singing in the Rain—romantic, escapist fare, no surprise there.

The scary thing is that Henry tells Betty he wants to marry her. Haven't they only met a handful of times and shared two kisses, and he wants to talk about marriage? That is just crazy talk. But she buys it. She trades in one controlling man for another, even though this one might be a slightly more benign model, but wouldn't he say anything to convince her to leave her husband for him?

Thoughts of running away with Henry and being happy in her head, she returns home to confront Don. The scene plays out like Betty is still reacting to Kennedy's death, but now we see that she is really talking to Don about how he's lied to her and cheated on her for years. She wants to scream at him for ruining "all this," and by that she presumably means not their happiness, because both of them have scant amounts of that, but the illusion that they are the perfect family. Betty can't pretend anymore, and now she knows that she doesn't love him.

She drops that bomb like a scratch to the face. Like always, Don tries to control her, saying that she'll get over it and everything will be fine. But the passive, docile, and confused Betty of yore is gone, and it no longer works. Instead of trying to work things out with her, Don pulls away, letting her stew in her unhappiness which will no doubt only drive her into Henry's arms—more as a reaction to Don than because of how nice Henry's guns most certainly are. And that's where we leave it, going into next week's season finale, with Don drinking alone in the dark, his distraught wife at home alone hating him, in an office where he can't even control the temperature.

Hendricks talked about her wedding, and Joan's vase-smashing-over-the-head moment. Then Martha said: "I must say… I thought you were much older." Awkward!

Next, Martha talked about her days as a model and how she was asked to wear a bikini for no reason.

After that, Martha made a mixed drink, but asked Christina to shake it — at which point the camera focused on Christina's cleavage. Someone in the audience coughed. As I said, the whole thing was strange.

The tension between Don and Betty when he finally let her know all about her past couldn't have been more taut if there was another woman hiding in his car in the driveway. Oh wait, there was! Yes, it was a wild evening for the Drapers, but also Roger, who connected with more than one old flame, and Joan who continues to be our hero. But what everything really came down to last night was names, what people are called and when, and how identity shapes their actions.

Don and Betty: Don comes home to pick up some clothes for a quick getaway with mistress Missy to find that Betty has returned home early from her jaunt to Philly to deal with the remnants of her father's estate. She is wearing a pair of stellar plaid pants, a high-necked blouse and a scowl that would make Don's face melt like he just opened the Arc of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Arc. Passive, avoiding Betty is passive no more.

"Come here, I want to show you something," she says, but she really wants Don to show her the truth. Don is reluctant to open the drawer and starts accusing Betty. He is really behaving like one of the drug abusers on Intervention, attacking those who called him out, coming up with any excuse not to deal with the issue at hand, and pleading through desperation and sweat for it all to stop. But Betty stares him down and demands to know the truth. After consulting her father's lawyer, she learns that she probably doesn't have enough money or gumption to actually leave Don, so she has to make this thing work.

When Don is trying to weasel his way out of opening the drawer that contains his secret, Betty asks Don about the pictures in the box and why they say "Dick"—spitting out the name like it's a bit of poison, and she would rather make him sick with it than ingest it herself. He tries to downplay that he changed his name, trying to only give her what he can get away with. "People change their names all the time. You did," he says. "I did. I took your name," she replies.

With that, Don knows that she is as much a part of him as the past he is so ashamed of, and he opens up—with the help of some booze and cigarettes of course. He asks her what she wants to know and she says, "Let's start with your name," because what you call something is the basest way of understanding what it is. He says his name is "Donald Draper," because he has so subsumed this identity that he doesn't know anything else.

But Don tells her everything: pretending to be the dead man, divorcing his old wife, his brother's suicide. And they sit on the bed together, and he gives everyone in the pictures their names, making them real for himself (which they haven't been in a long time) and for Betty, who has never known any of this before. Don is noticeably upset and displaying an enormous amount of emotion for such a stoic character, and all Betty can offer him is a tentative hand on his shoulder. Now that she has finally stood up to him and he has opened up to her, they are closer than they've ever been, but Betty still can't get past her chilly facade. But, considering how pissed she must be at her husband for keeping all this from her for all these years, even that cold hand is a huge gesture.

And we see their renewed commitment at the end of the episode, where the family all goes out trick or treating together. When at a neighbors, he tells the kids that he sees a gypsy and a hobo (costumes that never go out of style) and then looks at the parents, "And who are you supposed to be?" Well, Don isn't even sure anymore. He is Don Draper, and will continue to call himself that, even now that his secret has infiltrated his home. What will Betty do with the information? She's going to stay with Don of course, but there is trouble on the horizon—even more issues of trust and resentment between the two, and that can't be the best environment for either.

Her Name is Suzanne: It was a rough night for Don and his mistress, who we have been calling Missy, because heretofore she had been known only as Miss Farrell. When Betty leaves town, Don continues playing house with her, letting himself into her apartment and letting her cook for him. She tells him all about how well she is treated by the men in Little Italy, which is ironic because Don recently took his real wife to real Italy, and she was not only treated well by the Italian men, but also by Don.

The two of them decide to take a trip together, and Don seems to be falling for her really hard. She is hiding in the car in front of his house when Betty confronts Dick Whitman about his true identity. Before he knows what Betty wants, he tries to weasel his way out of her dreams and into his car, but once he knows the jig is up, he chooses Betty over Missy, and stays in the house with her, leaving Missy to do the walk of shame with her suitcase at dawn. Based on how light it was when she left the car, she sure waited a long time.

The next morning, Don calls her, and she is more concerned with his well-being than her own, only asking about herself and whether or not Betty would try to have her fired after talking to him. She starts to cry, but considering she said up front that she knew where this would end, she can't be too surprised that her prediction has come to pass. He says goodbye and does the sweetest thing he can, he finally gives her a name and calls her, "Suzanne." He makes her more than some girl who he was fooling around with, he makes her real.

She was a whole lot less of a psycho about the whole thing than we thought she would be, fatalistically resigning herself to the idea that it was over. Based on her previous stalkeresque behavior—showing up on the train, calling and hanging up—it seemed like she wouldn't go down without a fight. But the season is not over yet, so she still has time. Don left the door open that they might be able to continue once things with Betty had cooled down, but it seems as if he was closing the door for good. Let's see how she reacts once this has all had some time to sink in.

The Dog and the Dog Food: Roger and Don enter into Bert Cooper's office to find Roger's old flame Annabel standing there. She owns a dog food company that a movie called out for being made out of horse meat. Well, it is, and they're trying to find a way to rebound from the negative PR. Annabel is looking for an ad agency to turn the brand around, without changing the name or the recipe, and she has come to Sterling Cooper for help.

When Roger firsts sees her, he can't remember her married name, preferring to remember the name he knew and to think of her as he knew her, as a cliche bohemian heiress eating in graveyards in Paris before the war. We find this all out when the pair are at a "business" dinner that she insists Roger take her on, but the only business she really wants to talk about is the business in his pants. She confesses that she always thought that Roger was the one, even though she broke his heart and left him in the boxing ring (Roger the boxer, ha!) to go marry another man.

Annabel's problem is that she is stuck in the past. She has been lusting after no-good Roger Sterling for two decades, and she insists that her dog food keep the same name, even when Don and company tell her that to do so will be the end of her company. Her company is something she needs desperately, because it's the only thing that ties her to the memory of her father and her late husband, and it's the only thing she has left. When Roger suggests she just sell meat to another company so they can put their name on the can she spits back, "And do what?" She's a lonely old heiress who, though still gorgeous, has nothing else to do with her time. She defines herself by that label, and it's a label she's going to stick with, no matter how toxic it may be.

Annabel tries to have a future with Roger, but he has grown up, seemingly, turning down her advances to stay faithful to his child bride. He has moved on. Good for Roger.

Roger Has a Girl: Annabel wasn't the only old flame that Roger heard from last night. Our girl Joanie gave him a call and let him know that she was looking for work and asks if he can help her find a good position. After his meeting with lusty Annabel, he gets on the horn and calls a colleague. He makes the same maiden name mistake with Joan calling her "Joan Halloway, I mean Harris," preferring to remember her first as the hot secretary he was banging, but then respecting that she is a married woman.

But even then, he denies that anything is happening with her and that he isn't looking for a position for her because he has her in some positions of his own. He says she's special to him, and he really seems to mean it, that he wants to honor their connection by helping her out. And then in the next breath, when the mystery man on the other end of the phone answers back, he says, "Jane is fine." He has named his wife and made her real, signaling his commitment to her.

This was really an episode about Roger and all the women in his life: his first love, his mistress, and his mistress/wife. For a change, this old dog treats them all with kindness and respect. He takes a stroll through the Montmartre with Annabel but refuses to go any farther. He does a favor for Joan without asking for anything in return. And then he further cements his commitment to his wife. He may be a cad, but at least he's finally learning his lesson.

Saint Joan: The only thing that Joan's name had to do with her storyline is her continued frustration now that Doctor Rapist turned her name to Harris. Being Joan, she always has her act together. She helps DR rehearse his interview responses, so that he can land a job as a psychiatrist. Now that he can't be a surgeon, she is going to make sure that he does something to bring home the bacon—and lots of it, because Joan is hungry!

She exhibits the same control with DR that she does on the phone with Roger, knowing the precise time to call so that she will get him on the phone, displaying the power she still has at the office. And while Joan was too proud to ask for her job back before, she knows that Roger owes her, and doesn't mind asking a favor because she spins it into a positive for her. Her husband is going to be an even better doctor, so, until then, she needs something steady.

However, her crowning moment was when she hit DR over the crown of his head with a vase when he tells her that she doesn't know what it's like to plan on something her whole life and be disappointed by it. Say what, asshole? That is Joan's real problem. For a woman who always exerts so much cool control over a situation, her future is really in the hand of another, and they are very shaky hands that aren't good enough to be a surgeon.

But he is good enough to be a surgeon in the army, which he joins. Good job, Doctor Rapist, because you are about to get shipped off to Vietnam and killed sometime in season four. Maybe Joan will finally land a man that deserves her. Does this mean that she's not going to take the job that Roger arranged for her? We hope not, because Joan is a woman that needs to work. At home, she'll just be bored with no one to give advice to, boss around, or wield her control over. Even if it's just part time, Joan will never be happy with just Doctor Rapist and PTA meetings. She is nothing without her golden pen of victory.

Every year there are a bunch of people who all decide to take something topical as inspiration for a "witty" outfit. We have a good idea what they'll be this year, and you should check yourself before you scare everyone. So, to avoid the great Borat outbreak of 2006 or the Dark Knight/Joker takeover of 2008, here are some pop cultural outfits that you definitely want to leave in the costume shop if you don't want to run into several dozen other yahoos wearing the exact same getup.

Sarah Palin
Why Not: It was a bad idea last year. It's even worse this year. Besides, while everyone who doesn't race snow machines is still trying to forget her, you'll just be helping her sell books.
Safe Alternative: Levi Johnston
What You Need to Make It: This is a boy's only costume. All you'll need is a nude body stocking (or a pair of briefs if you're bold) and attach a vintage copy of Playgirl to the crotch. Bonus points for carrying a baby and/or a bag of pistachio nuts. If you have a friend who will dress up as Tank Jones, your look is made.

Max from Where the Wild Things Are
Why Not: This would have been cute a year ago, but now that the movie's out, everyone's going to try to replicate it. You can do better than that.
Safe Alternative: H.R. Puffinstuff
What You Need to Make It: You're going to need a whole lot of paper machine, fabric, paint, and time to do this other retro children's hero up right, but it will be a huge hit.

Summer of Death Celebrities
Why Not: No, it's not too soon, it's just not very creative. So yes, that means no Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays, or any of the others we've lost recently. It's not edgy, just lazy.
Safe Alternative: Elizabeth Taylor or Kirk Douglas. They're not dead yet, but they could be any day. Go as the next dead celebrity.
What You Need to Make It: For Dame Liz, a wheelchair, a crazy hat, and some White Diamonds perfume. For Kirk, a cleft chin, a tuxedo, and disappointment in your son, Michael.

Zombie/Vampire
Why Not: Because every movie, TV show and book these days is about one or the other. Every teenage girl and boy is going to be rocking this, so you'll look like you're trying too hard to be down with the youngs.
Safe Alternative: A banshee. They are so the monster of 2010.
What You Need to Make It: Long hair (a wig will do), a long white gown preferably tattered, and a loud shouting voice.

Balloon Boy
Why Not: This is going to be popular because it will be easy to rig together and everyone will think it's funny and current. It's neither. And let's hope that in 11 days this story is officially over.
Safe Alternative: The old man from Up.
What You Need to Make It: Square glasses, grey hair, a sweater vest. Attach a bunch of baloons and a cardboard cutout of a house to your back and it's up, up, and away.

Don Draper from Mad Men
Why Not: Just because you put on a suit, a pocket square, and slicked down hair, you are not Don Draper. Everyone will know that you came up with this at 2pm on October 31 and probably never even watched the show. It is also not an excuse to drink and smoke a lot. Just do that on your own.
Safe Alternative: British Guy from Mad Men. You know, the one who got his foot run over with a lawn mower.
What You Need to Make It: An antique John Deere, a bloody stump, and several blood-sprayed onlookers with a shocked look on their faces. It's disgusting and creative. Perfect for Halloween!

[Image via Getty]

Everything last night was about the disparity between how one character looks at something and how their opponents view the same object or situation differently. Whether it was Betty and Don both peering into the abyss of his box of secrets, Don and Missy looking at their love, or Peggy and Paul staring down an idea for the Western Union account. Sure, the secrets and lies are what is going to bite these people in the ass but it's that split vision that gets them there. As Don says, "Some people see things differently, and they don't want to." Poor, tortured Don.

Betty and the Box: Finally, Betty gets into that locked door in Don's dresser, thanks to a set of loose keys in the dryer. It says something that all Betty wants to do is see past Don's hard shell to the truth that is lying underneath, and as soon as he slips up even once and leaves the keys to the drawer in his bathrobe, Betty knows exactly what the incriminating keys are for. But can she handle the look into Don's heart of darkness? Probably not.

Earlier in the night, when the phone rings and there is no one on the other line, Sally gets all upset. "My goodness, Sally Draper, try not to take everything so personally," Betty snaps at her. Well, Betty is the last person who should be trying to teach people this lesson. Not only does she take it personally and think that the call is her spurned would-be lover Henry, but she also takes it personally when she opens the box. She's not shocked by the pictures of Don as a boy but named Dick, the deed to a house in California, or his purloined dog tags, she is shocked that he was married before. The one thing that Betty really cares about is the one thing that effects her. So like Betty.

Of course, Betty sees this as a huge betrayal—and really, keeping all those things away from her truly is—but Don sees it as a way to survive. His new identity catapulted him up from his hillbilly roots to the WASPy station that Betty so much enjoys. And of course, she sees her Don as having gotten a divorce and never telling her, when it was the old, dead Don who was married to Anna, and not the man who is currently cheating on her with some psycho teacher.

And as Betty waits up for her man to come home so that she can spring the trap on him, he doesn't take the bait, because he's sniffing around at some prey of his own above a garage across town. When Don doesn't return home, Betty puts the box back into the drawer, locks it and returns the keys. She tries to lay into Don the next day, but her sadness gets the best of her, and she sinks further into her hole of unhappiness. She is hiding everything away both literally and figuratively. It's fitting then that Betty has looked the best she ever has—an ice blue gown for an ice princess—for the Sterling Cooper anniversary party that night, because it seems clear Don is only interested in her as a facade, something to show off for his advertising buddies. Who cares what lies below the surface when the surface is so beautiful.

But something is brewing with Betty. She continues to reach out to Henry, keeping the lines of communication open, even if it's to tell him not to call. And she's reading The Group, a satire of upper-class life by Mary McCarthy (yes, published in 1963), that features a heroine who gets a divorce. Hmm...

But the final scene of her clapping half-heartedly while Don receives his award is surely a sign that more is coming. Knowing Betty she is going to let the information about Don stew inside for a bit before acting out childishly and without thinking and doing something disastrous. Let's hope it involves setting her ugly fainting couch of desire aflame.

Don and Missy: The most air time was spent on Don and his relationship with Miss Farrell (the AMC blog says her first name is Suzanne, but I don't know that we've ever heard it on the show, so we're just going to keep calling her Missy around these parts, OK?). The biggest difference between the way these two see their relationship is that Don sees passion, innocence, and good-will in her when really what he should be seeing is that she is a complete and utter psycho. He sees her as something extra and she sees him as her everything.

How is Don missing this? When he doesn't call, she doesn't wait by the phone, she shows up on the train unannounced and demands an explanation. Crazy! And then listen to what she says: "I don't care about your marriage or your work or any of that, as long as I know you're with me." Hear that, Don. That means the minute you try to end it, she is going to crazy on you like a Heart song. She will fuck up your marriage and your work and all of that. She said it herself. How does he respond? By holding her hand and showing her that he's with her. Retreat, Don! Be like the turtle you are and pull back into your shell, because Missy is coming with sharpened claws and she is not afraid to slit your throat.

But for some reason, Don thinks that she is the one. Maybe it's because he shows up and she has gold stars stuck to her face and tells cute stories about eight year olds. She is the opposite of Betty—all openness and emotion. Finally, after he drops off her brother, he comes back and she's so upset that she can't even have sex and Don stays anyway. So this isn't just about getting a piece of strange, this is about finding an alternative home. When he arrives at her house for the first time this episode, she's playing house and jokes that his secretary called. He plays along. Right now he is lost in her delusion, but he will wake up to realize that she is crazy, and it may be way too late to save himself.

Don and Mister Missy: That Don wants to drive Missy's no-good, epileptic brother Danny to his new job in Massachusetts show's just how whipped he is by this women. "I swore to myself I would try to do this right once," he says, showing that he wants to have a relationship with Missy that is free of lies and deception and instead based on him being a stand up guy. Sorry, but Don is incapable of that.

It's because Don feels some sort of affinity for this kid and his "affliction." If he had never stolen Don Draper's identity, he would be saddled with the affliction of his own upbringing and would have been trapped into a life of pushing a broom in a VA hospital. At least that's what he believes. He tries to set Danny free, but, like he had to do for himself, he is doing it with a bunch of lies. Don sees freedom as the most important thing of all (remember his contract negotiations) and is willing to trade this kid's freedom for the confines of another lie.

Missy will see his behavior as a betrayal—and since the kid has the card, we know that the truth is going to come out eventually, probably when they find it on his dead body—but Don sees it as an act of kindness. It's really just two shades of the same color.

Mr. and Mrs. Pryce: Well, there is a Pryce for everything, and Lane is paying for his happiness in New York with his wife's sorrow (and you are paying for reading the Official Gawker Mad Men Recap by having to endure bad puns). He sees it as a place of freedom from the British class system and his controlling overlords and she sees it as a seething hellhole of noise and humanity. Oh, they are both so right. This is a pretty obvious disagreement on perspective, and doesn't really play itself out in the plot until we find out that Sterling Cooper is for sale.

When talking with the home office, Lane finds out that, due to his diligence cutting the staff and getting profits up, the agency is now on the block so that the Brits can turn a tidy profit. They see this as a big win, but Lane sees this as a disaster. He'll have to leave his beloved new home and move back to London—or even worse, to India! Is it enough for Lane to sabotage the whole deal so that he can stay with the firm? Or will he try to transition over to Sterling Cooper and leave his old firm behind so that he can be the head honcho? It wouldn't be shock of this upright Brit had some deviousness in him to save his hide.

Peggy Vs. Paul: Here is the practical applications of two people looking at the same problem and coming up with two very different solutions. They both have to pitch some ideas for the Western Union campaign, and they both come up with nothing. Well, Peggy comes up with nothing and Paul comes up with something, but gets so drunk in his office that he forgets it. His tale sets Peggy thinking and she sets this perfect trap in Don's office.

The only reason she would tell Don that Paul had a great idea he forgot was so that she could then go into an explanation of a telegram being forever while a phone call—like Paul's brilliant idea—evaporates. She has stolen Paul's non idea and used it to please the boss. This isn't the first time this happened either. Earlier, when presenting an Aquanet commercial to Don, Paul's idea gets shot down. Peggy tweaks it a bit, and Don is thrilled. She does the same thing here a second time. The prolonged scowl that Paul shoots Peggy's way is enough to let us know how he feels.

They also view their relationships with Don in a different way. Paul seems Peggy as being the favorite who always discounts him in front of Don. Peggy thinks that Don hates her and that Paul is the one with all the good ideas. This whole ordeal made us realize that Peggy is more of an astute innovator than a great creator. Like those old commercials, she doesn't make the things Don loves, she makes the things that Don loves better.

Oh, and speaking of differences of opinion, Peggy must have really liked that brown dress with all the bows up the front. We strongly disagree. When is Joan coming back with some fashion advice?

Don seems to be shacking up with teacher lady on the regular, and it's getting too close for comfort. As much as he seems to show his sly displeasure with her creeping closer into his real life, he secretly enjoys getting so close to the fire.

Don's kid picks up the phone and the caller quickly hangs up, leading both Don and Betty to speculate if the person on the other line is their paramour. The kids! What about the kids?? It's a sad, subtle reminder that in a era before the divorce generation, the kids are always the one in the middle, left with the brunt of the radioactivity after the bomb drops.

Don confronts the teacher on his train on the way to work and she threatens to leave, but he quickly dissolves in her puppy dog eyes when she tells him "I don't care about your marriage, your work or any of that. As long as I know you're with me." Oh Don, you really can't help yourself.

Paul gets a little too comfortable in his office, the scene shifts shortly after he pours himself a drink and unbuckles his belt. Did Paul crank one off? He gets inspiration from a janitor in the office kitchen, goes back to his office and passes out drunk on his couch. He wakes up thinking he had some wonderful notes for the account he's working on with Peggy. His stress to try and keep up with the ambitious rising star is causing him to lose control. Word of advice: stick to the weed, Paul. You'll still fall asleep but you'll always know where the papers are.

London's calling and while Bert Cooper is ambivalent about joining the 40th anniversary party for Sterling Cooper, they drop the bomb on Lane that they're looking to sell the company and "expect all the flowers in the vase." The firm is doing quite well and London wants to leverage the party to drum up interest in finding a buyer, leaving Lane to "pour the honey on" and get Bert to join.

Don is to receive an award "for his humanity" at the party, to the amusement of Roger Sterling, who reveals he saved Don from a job where he was alternating between night school and working at a fur company. A fur company!

Betty rings up her gentleman caller and asks if he ring and ran her the other day. He's annoyed at her accusation, especially since she's put far more distance between them than Don has between himself and his lady friend.

Betty later finds keys in the wash that lead her to find some of Don's deepest secrets. She unlocks a drawer that holds multiple documents and other items in a shoe box, including a deed to a house in Long Beach, California, a divorce certificate for Anna and Donald Draper, dog tags, an Army certificate, and family pictures of "Dick" and his brother, "Adam." Presumably, the divorce certificate is to dissolve the marriage of the "real" Don Draper, not this Don Draper and the pictures are of "Dick" before he became "Don."

Meanwhile, Don offers to drive his lover's little brother to the job she set up for him, but little does she know little brother isn't taking the job. He's worried that his epilepsy will always prevent him from making a real life for himself. Don further complicates things by helping out his lover's brother, giving him his number and telling him to call if he needs anything. Don's life is starting to resemble one of those Russian nesting dolls, one appearance inside of another, inside of another.

Peggy saves Paul's butt, using a seemingly throwaway chinese proverb he uttered, "the faintest ink is better than the best memory" to build it into a brilliant idea to show how a telegram beats a phone call for lasting memories "You can't frame a phone call." Don is sufficiently satisfied with their pitch, virtually absolving Paul from his booze blunder.

The big Sterling Cooper gala concludes the episode, with Cooper presenting Don his award, singing Don's praises and laying it on thick. As the episode closes, we see Betty giving Don a stink eye that could clear a room. She's holding on to something she can hardly contain and it's about to come to a head.

Via NY Mag's Vulture:

I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, "You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, 'I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!"

Yes, like a television show where something actually happens. Or, you know, not watching TV.

There's more where that came from. EXPERIENCE IT!

[Photo via Mark J. Terrill/AP]

• It's hard keeping track of Jennifer Aniston's alleged love life. One day she's screwing Gerard Butler, the next it's secret meetings with Brad. Now she's apparently staying in close contact with her "ex" John Mayer, on whom she's "hooked" and "can't let go." Yes, it can all get confusing, but at least she only has three in the rotation. For now. [NYDN]
  
  
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's former babysitter claims Jon hacked into Kate's emails and now Kate's saying she may talk to her lawyers because she's "disturbed" by it all. Yeah, so are we. [Us]
  
  
• Oh, haha! Professional actor Jesse Metcalfe joked that he got erections while making out with Eva Longoria. No wonder this guy doesn't get more acting jobs. [TMZ]
  
  
• Donald Trump continues his war of words on Tilda Swinton, who opposes his plans to construct a golf course on a Scottish coast. She compared it to poor people's forceful evictions during the Highland Clearance's gentrification, which led Trump to say of the world-famous actress: "It's a shame that she would disgrace the thousands of Scots who suffered for her own personal gain and in order to get some easy publicity for herself." [Page Six]
  
  
• Tao will pay Kim Kardashian $50,000 to "celebrate" her birthday at their Las Vegas location. Life's truly unfair. [Page Six]
  
  
• Paul McCartney's son, James, was trying to quietly start a music career. Now the papers are on to him, so that bubble's burst. [The Sun]
  
  
• California claims Patti LuPone owes nearly $10,000 in back taxes, but her people say it just isn't so, because the actress is "meticulous" about paying the tax man. So there! [Page Six]
  
  
• Ahhh! We've seen scary skinny models, and Miranda Kerr definitely deserves honorary mention. Well done! [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Melissa Rycroft, who's a "celebrity" for being on The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars, has swine flu... [NYDN]
  
  
• ...And MSNBC's think Rycroft's announcing her swine flu for publicity. [MSNBC]
  
  
• Poor Fred Durst! Married three months and it's already over. [People]
  
  
• Just when you thought the Kanye/Taylor Swift scandal had gone to tabloid heaven, Taylor Swift hints that she may make fun of it when she hosts Saturday Night Live. Sounds like too easy a set-up. [Star]
  
  
• Sources say GQ photo-shopped January Jones' boobs to make them bigger, but photo editor Dora Samo insists Jones just uses what her mama gave her: "Yes, they're real. And they're spectacular." [Page Six]
  
  
• A second autopsy reveals that cocaine did not contribute to Billy Mays' death. Now, let's let the poor man's family rest. [NYDN]

• Pamela Anderson should be investigated for breaking child labor laws after having a 9-year old girl hold her dress train and sit at her feet at this week's Hollywood Style Awards. Or that's what a Child Labor Coalition spokesman thinks: "I would want to speak to the child to ask her if it is something she willingly did. Nine is very young, and an awards ceremony is a long time for a child to be out holding a dress." This could be bigger than the Triangle Factory Fire. [Page Six]
  
  
• Do people really have to ask why Rush Limbaugh's still a member of the infamously racist Everglades Club in Palm Beach? [Page Six]
  
  
• Oh no! Katy Perry better watch out: Russell Brand's ex-girlfriend says he's incapable of monogamy. Their breakup would be the death of love forever. [Page Six]
  
  
• Jon Gosselin has been ordered to return $180,000 he took from a joint account he and wife Kate share. So now maybe that money can go toward, you know, his gaggle of children. [Star]
  
  
• Jeffrey Tambor, who plays the Bluth family patriarch on Arrested Development, recently gave birth to a pair of twin boys. Well, his wife Kasia did the actual birthing, but let's not parse here, okay? [People]
  
  
• Christie Brinkley and ex-husband Peter Cook have finally signed their divorce settlement. Does this mean their tabloid war will die down? Doubtful: Cook's lawyers yesterday described Brinkley as a "bitter, vindictive, angry woman," while Brinkley reminded us all that Cook's been called an "extreme narcissist." [NYDN]
  
  
• Paris Hilton adopted a ridiculous pet — a pig — and animal activists are mad as hell. This all seems so familiar. [Showbiz Spy]
  
  
• Very important news: Peaches Geldof is now blonde again. All those hunger strikes paid off. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Swoon: Jordan Catalano himself, Jared Leto, has joined the fight for gay marriage. [E!]
  
  
• Ashton Kutcher once told then-girlfriend January Jones that she wouldn't be good at acting. And now she's proving him wrong on Mad Men. Well, she's famous because of Mad Men. Whether she's a good actress remains open to debate. [NYDN]

Robin Veith, who got credit on the classic episode "The Wheel" has left Sterling Cooper, we are told. Veith is said to be an old pal of showrunner Matthew Weiner from way back, raising concerns that a shake-up could be afoot on the show.

However, as the writing staff is currently in hiatus between seasons, this may just be the time when people who have decided that they are moving on announce that they are moving on. After hyping up Gordon's departure, Nikki Finke reports that it is in fact, staff turnover as usual. Update: Finke emailed to take issue with our characterization of her Gordon reporting: "The point of my post remains the same: how very unusual for a writer to be fired less than a month after winning the Emmy. That is why I wrote this in the first place." She also wanted to point out that she heard about Veith before us. So there.

If anyone know's anything more about what's afoot, we'd love to hear from you. Drop a line to your friends at Gawker, confidentiality guaranteed.

The center of last night's action was the powerful taking over the weak and trying to use them for their own selfish ends. We saw it in the Draper home, at Sterling Cooper, and especially as Don climbed the stairway to heaven to find Miss Farrell's room over the garage. The lights were on, and somebody was at home. We wish the same could be said for Missy.

Also this week, the civil rights struggles of 1963 are starting to seep into the action, and in the ego-driven world of Mad Men, we learn more about the characters from how they react to them than the impact the events had on history as a whole.

Sal and Lee Garner, Jr: The most powerful man in this pairing is not either of these two, but Lee Garner, Sr. Two gay men in the early '60s had no power whatsoever. Everything that Junior does is to please his father—from sticking with Lucky Strike instead of going into the movies to pretending to be straight. When Sal rejects twangy hunk Lee in the editing suite, he opens Lee up to the possibility of exposure, which would upset Senior, which would mean that Lee is out of a job and a fortune. Lee then uses what power he does have over the Lucky Strike ad budget to get Sal fired. Too bad, because that commercial (which looked like it was taken from gay classic Querelle) was pretty darn good. And after looking at that wonderful model all afternoon, it's no wonder why Lee was ready to go.

As soon as Lee hit on Sal, he was pretty much doomed at the firm. Even if he had gone through with it, Lee probably would have been so guilty that he would have had Sal fired anyway, so he might as well have gotten a hot piece out of it rather than just getting a pink slip. The reason he didn't is because he realized that he had no power in the situation. How is he going to defend himself from some rich, powerful client, especially when the threat of everyone learning the truth about his personal life is so close to office? Earlier this season, when the bellboy came onto him as aggressively, Sal was all about it, because what is a lowly wage slave in another city going to do to Sal?

Unfortunately, it is that event that does Sal in. When he fesses up to Don about what went on, Don doesn't believe his story. While Don never brought up the fact that he caught Sal pink handed with the bellboy, he does use the information against him now. Why would Don trust a known homosexual's word against someone rich and upstanding like Lee Garner Jr? But, in the end, Sal's biggest sin wasn't liking guys, it was putting business in danger. While Lee may not have successfully exploit Sal, he did wield his power to have him put out.

So, where does that leave Sal? Making calls to the missus from a pay phone in the park. There is a guy wearing a leather hat next to the phone booth, and nothing says gay like a leather hat, so that means Sal must be out cruising for dick in public. Stripped of his job and ambition, Sal is left powerless and isolated.

Don and Miss Farrell: We know that Missy has some serious daddy issues and probably a drinking problem, and now it seems like she's up at all hours of the evening running around deserted streets and sitting in her cozy apartment in killer frocks. God, there is so much wrong with this girl. Why can't Don see it?

Her biggest problem, though, is she cedes all her power to Don. When he picks her up on the side of the road and when he first arrives at her door unexpectedly, she has all the control. She knows what he wants and she has to give her consent. She even tells Don "I know how this ends." Yeah, we do too, with you heartbroken and boiling Don's bunny! Once she gives into Don, it's over for poor Miss Farrell, because he has the power to ruin her, and he does it so he can have an escape from his sad little life, and to exercise some control over another after being tossed around at Conrad Hilton's every whim.

When he finally embraces her he says, "I want you. I don't care. Doesn't that mean anything to someone like you." As always, Don is all about selfishness and ego. He's able to exploit Missy, a common school teacher who should be happy that Don deigns to look at "someone like her."

We also get a peek into their psyches when they react to Martin Luther King's famous "I Have a Dream" speech on the radio. Missy says she's going to teach it to the kids on the first day of school. Ever the idealist, she thinks that the world can change for the better, just like she thinks that she can probably change Don and that their dalliance will turn into something more—or at least something she can control.

Don instructs her that she is naïve. Just like Don's behavior never changes, he thinks that the world will never change, and that this speech is just so much hot air. He's not against progress, he's just never been able to muster it up for himself, so how could the rest of the world be able to do it?

Betty and Henry: No wonder Betty is with Don, because she loves being controlled. Even in her dream, a man overpowers her with his touch while she lies on her fainting couch of desire. But through their interaction, we see just how powerful a privileged housewife like Betty is over someone like Sal or Missy.

When Henry arrives at her door unannounced, she invites him in and then quickly sends him away, unlike Missy who invites Don in and allows him to get her into the sack. She forgets that she is the one who reached out to him by sending a letter, igniting the whole situation. Trying to prove her innocence in front of Carla, Betty plans a fundraiser to cover up her indiscretion. When Henry doesn't show, Betty is in a mood. She even pouts while wearing yet another of her spendid ensembles.

She's so distraught that he didn't show that she can barely pull a look together to go let him have a piece of her mind in Albany. She shouts at him for making her look like a "sap" for not coming. She wanted him to arrive on his steed and throw her down on the couch and take control, but when he says to her that she had to come to him, she's turned off. Though they kiss, she won't have some messy romp on an office chair or a motel room. Betty is above being "tawdry," and doesn't want to be the one calling the shots. She leaves for good, probably.

Back at home, she and Carla discuss the girls killed in the Birmingham church bombing. Betty says it's a travesty, but maybe it means that civil rights isn't supposed to happen now. That's so like her. As she said in her letter to Henry, she "has ideas," but they're not fully formed. They're just bubbling under the surface as undirected anger. She wants to do something about it, but she keeps delaying, waiting for the perfect time so that it can emerge clean and fully-formed. Just like civil rights, Betty's quest for fulfillment is going to be long and messy, and if she's not willing to get dirty, then it's never going to come.

Don and Conrad Hilton: Conrad Hilton is the great colonizer. Not only does he use his money and influence to push Don around, call him in the middle of the night, and order him to have drinks at all hours, but he wants America to colonize the world. He thinks that by having Hilton hotels in every location, that he can bring a bit of freedom and religion to the far reaches of the world. Communism can offer idealism, but America can offer clean towels and hamburgers! There are more shades of the just ended national nightmare of George W. Bush in him than I care to point out.

Don gives him what he wants, a brilliant ad campaign showing Americans that their influence is taking over the globe, but it isn't enough for his finnicky client, who expresses his concern that Don didn't comply with his strange and specific demands.

Don's biggest disappointment must be that he sees failing Hilton as failing his father all over again. Hilton is like a hillbilly who made it big, and thereby someone who Don sees as worth impressing, but also reminds him of his past that he's trying to reconcile with his present. Connie says that he looks at Don as a son (a sentiment that seems a little premature) becuase, like himself, Don is a bumpkin who hit the big time, something that Connie's kids, raised in the lap of proselytizing American luxury, can't understand. More and more, we see that he is a little bit touched, and when Don didn't put the moon in his ad campaign, he is offended, the more so because of his rushed acceptance of Don as a member of his spiritual family. Whenever the ruler turns on the ruled, it's never pretty.

Don and Roger: This clip is worth watching for Roger's lawnmower quip alone, but the continuously uneasy dynamic between the two makes it especially significant. Roger, whose name is on the wall in the lobby, grows more and more resentful of Don, now that his former subject is rising up against him and trying to take the star role at the firm. Don even outlawed the man from his office and his presence, forgeting who is really in charge. When Roger tells him he's "over his head," he's probably right, something that Don will hate to admit later.

Roger is also an old-school colonizer, as evidenced by his lovely blackface display a few weeks back. Just as Don thinks the civil rights movement will change nothing, Roger wishes that things would go back to the way they were, when blackface was funny and the black populace working to make the white man richer. He also longs for things in his own firm to go back to normal. He sees Don as nothing more than a house slave, there to make him money and useless without his wisdom. The two will probably be each others' downfall.

Finke offers one explanation from a source in the show...

"One of the great things about Mad Men is the tradition that Matt has established of offering higher-level opportunities to staff, writers and artists in all of the various departments. From the beginning, Matt has fought to get people approved by the studio which almost always lobbied for him to hire more experienced people instead."

"We think [Kater's] done a great job, particularly for someone whose career has progressed so quickly. Now, however, Matt has reluctantly decided that their relationship has reached its full potential. She'll be missed, but the series has consistently benefited from the influx of new writer talent, and there's absolutely no doubt that Kater will continue to have unprecedented success in her career as she spreads her wings. She leaves Mad Men with our love and respect and a well-deserved Emmy."

...that's clearly in Weiner's camp. Maybe this is the truth! Or maybe she might as well have placed an email from the show's flack in exchange for a better scoop later on. But the truth can't be this simple. Finke—who exercises a Machiavellian hand over the comments in her posts—left it to her commenters to speculate. And by speculate, we mean, speak for her. And I imagine someone at AMC is asking Finke why she's not deleting comments like she normally does on issues she wants to control.

Let's look at some of the more interesting theories:

• Matthew Weiner had a strictly unprofessional relationship with her, or as the commenter put it:

  *cough*LETTERMAN*cough*

  Well, Gordon did have a very quick rise through the rankings of Mad Men. Again: started as Weiner's assistant. Became a writers' assistant. Weiner then let her co-write the last season finale with him, and now, she's a staff writer for the third season. Or was, until she got fired. Staff writing jobs are not easy to come by, obviously. Sure, it's topical. And maybe it's worth noting that this is the first show Weiner's ever been a showrunner on. I somehow doubt this theory. If something inappropriate took place, why would he fire her? Probability: unlikely.
  
  

• Jealousy Issues. Another commenter writes:

  There was a really weird moment during the acceptance where Matt kind of 'snatched' the Emmy from her...The photo gets at it but I remember it being uncomfortable to watch. I always [sic] trhought they worked with these relatively inexperienced people on this show primarily for financial reasons. Allows them to put as much money as possible up on the screen.

  I'm not sure I buy the "inexperienced writers" line so much as the one above: that Mad Men hires writers with low quotes because they can afford to do so by reputation, and allocate the money elsewhere on the show. Weiner's a notorious control freak, as evidenced by the show, obviously. Hollywood loves a young, hot writer, and Gordon's cute and staffed on a hit show. Maybe this made Weiner uncomfortable. Or maybe Gordon's ego from the win outgrew Weiner's ability to micromanage, which could've been marginally. Even so, another commenter draws a comparison to Peggy and Don Draper's relationship, noting that this could give a certain scene from earlier in the season more significance...

  One just goes balls to the wall:

  Anyone who believes this horseshit is completely naïve. Matt Weiner is the lowest of the low in our business. He is a egomaniac and the likelihood is that he was incensed that he had to share credit and let alone an Emmy with her. A lowly former writer's assistant. As far as he is concerned, he is solely responsible for the success of this show and no other writer, producer, director, actor, key grip have done anything to contribute to the show's success. For Pete's sake, he didn't even let Kater Gordon say a word when they got up on stage. It was her moment as well but Weiner made it ALL about him.

  Though egomaniacs are kind of par for the course, no?
  
  

• And another one just thinks Matt was unloading unnecessary cargo:

  The only episode she wrote by herself was "The Fog" and it was terrible. Looks like Matt got too excited and promoted her too quickly…

Update: Finke posted from a writer who supposedly knows by Weiner and Gordon, who insists there was no "Letterman" play involved. "She totally got the show and deserved the break she got. There was NOTHING illicit in her relationship with Matt." 'Figured. But Finke has yet to posit any theories...

[Photo via Mark J. Terrill/AP]