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Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
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heywhat
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
"There is nothing worse than the awkward wake up next to a girl, who is not as hot as you thought she was when you were 12 deep the night before." Just imagine how she feels waking up to your mug, Chris! Why is it that ugly guys feel entitled to bang hot chicks even though his face looks like an asshole?
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Edited by heywhat at 11/12/09 10:27 PM heywhat was starred heywhat was unstarred

El_Gato
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Figures he'd be wearing a Red Sox cap. Amazing, too, that a guy who's probably never been laid in his life would write a column about getting laid. #media
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ms_priestypants
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Maybe instead of charging the paper with harassment, Fairfield University could close The Mirror down for failing completely at its mission statement. I get that newspapers are a dying medium, but editors are still supposed to edit and journalists are still supposed to have some basic understanding of grammar, punctuation, syntax, and how to craft a narrative.

On the other hand, that article definitely makes a fierce case for abstinence, so maybe the Society of Jesus is having the last laugh here. #media
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TheSometimesWhy
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Is it just me or does anyone else find more than vestigial traces of irony in that our focal point's surname sounds
suspiciously like some third-rate feminine hygiene product?

Wait a second, given that he arguably qualifies as a third-rate douche, cancel that last query.

Peripherally, it should be noted in an attempt to appear more worldly that Mr. Surette "went metric" quite some time ago, so that reference to being "12-deep" is centimeters, or in the alternative, his IQ.
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Edited by TheSometimesWhy at 11/12/09 4:29 PM TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred

LatestBy
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
In his defense, he's really, really hot. #media
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shostakobitch
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
I think he is providing a valuable service for cretins in a language they can understand. Unfortunately, there is a significant percentage of cuties who are willing to raw dog it and they need to know the 411 on preventing a rash or perhaps a mini-me. He possesses a unique and spirited voice that informs us of the hazards of rationalizing things when in a state of 12-deeptitude.

Additionally I feel that somewhere at some point we've all had a hearty laugh and said to ourselves, "I just don't care whether or not I'm capable of sexually pleasing a woman."
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Edited by shostakobitch at 11/12/09 3:04 PM shostakobitch was starred shostakobitch was unstarred

katastic
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
I'd argue that this guy was not going to get laid anyways.
I mean, Jesus. Look at him. What sexual experience could he possibly have had that didn't involve a sock and his own pasty, clammy hand? #media
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scroll_lock
11/12/09

@katastic: To be fair, there was that one time with the knothole in the fence. #media
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lukeoneil47
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Ah, I remember the good old days when I could write an embarassingly awful column for my Catholic college's newspaper and no one on campus would read it, never mind the entire internet. #media
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
I'd go raw dog on Katie Couric in that picture, 12 deep or less, Broseph!!! #media
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scroll_lock
11/12/09

@Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: She does look doable, in an Annie-Liebovitz-if-she-were-hetero-...&-gummier way.
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Edited by scroll_lock at 11/12/09 2:44 PM scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred

Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
11/12/09

@scroll_lock: Man, why you always gotta point out Katie's dolphin teeth? #media
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scroll_lock
11/12/09

@Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: heh #media
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Conchie Birdie
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
The "He Said / She Said" columns used to be the funniest part of The Mirror... too bad this moron had to go fuck it up. In reality, the columns have been overrun with idiots like Chris for a few years now. If I were President von Arx, I'd kick him out. #media
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pmarble
11/12/09

@Conchie Birdie: President von Arx sounds like a totally made-up name. Like a character from Arrested Development, or 30 Rock. #media
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Conchie Birdie
11/12/09

@pmarble: He's for realz - President Father Jeffrey P. von Arx, S.J. #media
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Fitz21and1
11/12/09

@Conchie Birdie: I worked for that paper back when I went there, it was never funny, it was always lowest level humor, copying Adam Sandler-type jokes when they were popular, then Will Farrell-type, and I guess now Tucker Max. #media
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pmarble
11/12/09

@Conchie Birdie: Oh, I believe you, never fear! But the fuller name seems even more made up (and funny) to me. #media
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Rozelle’s Bagman
11/12/09

@pmarble: Fairfield U. is a real school that so many commenters apparently attended? It sounds like one of the campus backgrounds for a 3 Stooges short.
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Edited by Rozelle’s Bagman at 11/12/09 4:27 PM Rozelle’s Bagman was starred

Conchie Birdie
11/12/09

@Fitz21and1: Gotcha. To be fair, I really only enjoyed the She Said - and my friend wrote it. Plus, to be the funniest part of that paper isn't really saying much.

@pmarble: I knew it would find it funny - that's why I disclosed the entire name!
#media
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Richard Lawson
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
In his defense, he is beautiful. He looks like a potato that just farted. #media
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iplaudius
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Fairfield University, another fine Jesuit institution.

Judging by the picture, and while I know it isn’t nice to say, a revision of Mr. Nolan’s remarks may be in order: I’m fairly confident that Chris Surette has not been laid his entire time at Fairfield University. #media
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Conchie Birdie
11/12/09

@iplaudius: Really, it's not a bad place... I enjoyed my years there and, thankfully, never encountered such a cretin like this Surette character. #media
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iplaudius
11/12/09

@Conchie Birdie: Seriously—I was surprised to see Fairfield here. I dated someone from Fairfield University, a kind, humane, decent, intelligent person. (Also, smoking hot. And Italian-American. Sigh.) #media
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Caenct
11/12/09

@iplaudius: I hated it there. Most people had attitudes like this, some more, some less. This guy is clearly the extreme, but honestly, all he did was take the frat boy humor and just shout it louder, because that's how you make a funny if you're dumb. People might not take it to this extreme in everday life, but the underlying attitudes that led to this crap? Oh yeah, definitely there. #media
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resipsaloquacious
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Imagine the poor girl waking up to that fucking cinder block of a head.

The horror. #media
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Conchie Birdie
11/12/09

@resipsaloquacious: Seriously. #media
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Mrs. Beeton
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
That column reminds me of a piece I wrote in college, "How to Bang Your Hot Professors." I assume he used the same source I did, Cinemax After Dark. #media
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FormerEnglishMajor
11/12/09

In reply to Tips For Banging Hot College Sluts Is Landmark of Journalistic Freedom
Wait a minute - isn't Fairfield a Catholic institution? How is it that he is talking about condoms? #media
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