Ahmadinejad 'Bewitched' by Magician Adviser

An influential former supporter of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayatollah Mohammad Taghi Mesbah Yazdi, told the Iranian magazine Shoma that the president has been acting "unnaturally" due to a spell that was cast by his main adviser, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei.
Ooo, They Might Have Found a New Particle
We interrupt your morning stupor for some news of our universe's most fundamental particles! The NYT advises us of the hottest news in physics today: researchers at Fermilab's particle accelerator think that they may have discovered the Higgs boson, a heretofore purely theoretical particle that endows certain things…
Kim Jong-il Had an Otherworldly Birthday
We were told ahead of time that "colorful events will take place" for Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's birthday on Wednesday, but we could have never guessed just how awe inspiring the celebration of his 69th year of life would be. According to the Korean Central News Agency, a "mysterious natural wonder" took place above…
Just Do Squats, For Chrissake
Fool America once with bullshit magic "Easytone" shoes that will fail to give you a perfect ass (unlike doing squats): shame on Reebok. Fool America twice with "Easytone" clothing with ludicrous "resistance band" "toning" pseudoscience: shame on America.
Here Is the Worst "Magician" Ever
OH LAWD is this bad. Like, really, really bad. Here's a video of a girl performing a magic trick—making herself disappear, I suppose. The thing, though, is that she fails. Miserably. Get your Tuesday schadenfreude fix on, inside.
You Too Can Be a Mystical D-Bag with This Criss Angel Magic Kit
Want to learn how to pour salt from your hand and impress girls while wearing trucker hats? You're in luck, with the "Magician of the Century"'s own magic kit. Hilariously, Criss isn't in this, and opted for a stand-in.
How To Cast Magic Spells
In case lighting a candle, listening to "Rhiannon" on repeat, and saying "wingardium leviosa" aren't working, here's how to cast a magic spell.
Voo Dat: A Southern Conjurer Explains How the Saints Were Helped by Voodoo
The Indianapolis Colts were favored to win yesterdays Super Bowl everywhere from Vegas to the White House. But one woman wasn't buying it: Lisa Johnson has enough experience with voodoo to know that the Saints were unbeatable.
David Copperfield Probably Not a Rapist After All
Well well well, shut our collective mouths, magically! Last August, a woman accused David Copperfield of luring her to his private island, raping her repeatedly, and then threatening to kill her if she told anyone. Copperfield denied it at the time. But let's be honest: everyone already thought David Copperfield was…
The Ole Pencil Through the Nuts Illusion
A pencil is pushed between two independently moving nuts. Or is it? Is that even a pencil? Are those nuts independently moving? Are they even nuts? Is this even happening? DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND!?!?
