Leibovitz's commercial day rate is $250,000, according to New York magazine. We certainly hope taxpayers didn't pay her that much to document for posterity the fundamental adorableness of the First Family. Perhaps the Obamas, or Obama's campaign arm, footed the bill. Or maybe Leibovitz performed her duties gratis. That would have been especially admirable, however, seeing as how this picture was taken on September 1, one week before Leibovitz's deadline to repay the $24 million loan she owed to high-end artsharks Art Capital Group or lose possession of her photographic legacy. That deadline was eventually extended, but there must have been a lot on Annie's mind when this photo was taken.

At least he's talking about vaccinating them, period.

While surely the implications of this news are big in the Kennedy context — could it be the family is relinquishing its hand on America's political system? — it also opens the door for a new generation of political dynasties. But, sadly, the prospects are dim.

The most obvious choice would be the Bush's, a family that has produced two presidents and Jeb. Since Barbara's basically a persona non-grata and Jenna's working for Today, the family's brightest star could be George Prescott Bush, President Dubya's attorney nephew who's also a real estate honcho. That combination, plus his good looks, could make him a good candidate to maintain the family's standing as a preeminent political family.

With Bill being a former President and Hillary as Secretary of State, some are hoping Chelsea Clinton will keep the family's lawmaking legacy alive. She seems to have little interest in politics and therefore won't help build a nascent dynasty. Sad.

We're thinking that the Obama girls may be the nation's best bet for political nepotism. Yeah, the girls are still in school, but the First Family has already been compared to the Kennedy clan and their revered "Camelot." If these girls choose — or if the family pushes, as should be done in all political dynasties — Sasha and Malia Obama could carry the torch for a new American royal family.

Perhaps there's another family out there, toiling away to break into the Washington scene. We sure hope so. This country could use more nepotistic clans who ingrain themselves into our democratic system. It seems antithetical to the American dream, yes, but this nation's democratic roots are also long-addicted to the ups-and-downs of political family drama. And we all know addictions must be fed.

There were pap pictures of the Obamas vacationing in Hawaii and transitioning in Chicago, but the mean streets of Capitol Hill have probably never been the scene of a shot sold to People or stolen by Perez. Not because DC and Capitol Hill are off-limits to the paparazzi, but because they're boring. DC pictures don't sell. Why would they? Do you care where Representative Peter DeFazio's LAs are drinking tonight? No. (They're drinking at the Hawk & Dove, btw.)

But, you know, the Obamas are celebrities! And so John McCain's shitty summer 2008 campaign strategy has finally sort of come to pass. Barack Obama is not Paris Hilton, but his wife and kids are Kate + 8.

(Though one imagines Secret Service presence will continue to make these shots something of a rarity.)

Even more fun: when the set initially went up on INF's site, one of the shots was a close-up of the first lady's stomach. BABY BUMP??? (It has since been deleted.)

[Pictures: INFphoto.com]

Chris Parry of The Vancouver Sun highlighted some of the comments on the mainstream, hard right-wing blog/news aggregator Free Republic. Among them, a picture of Michelle talking to Malia Obama with the caption: "To entertain her daughter, Michelle Obama loves to make monkey sounds." Classy. These mouthbreathing, borderline morons then kept piled on:

"A typical street whore." "A bunch of ghetto thugs." "Ghetto street trash." "Wonder when she will get her first abortion. "Could you imagine what world leaders must be thinking seeing this kind of street trash and that we paid for this kind of street ghetto trash to go over there?" wrote one commenter.
"They make me sick .... The whole family... mammy, pappy, the free loadin' mammy-in-law, the misguided chillin', and especially 'lil cuz... This is not the America I want representin' my peeps," wrote another. Such was the onslaught of derision on the site that the person who originally complained about the slurs, a Kristin N., claims only one comment in the first hundred posted actually criticized the remarks as inappropriate.

FreeRepublic claims to be a site that "does not advocate or condone racism, violence, rebellion, secession, or an overthrow of the government." Yet, the thread went down, and back up with the original comments in tact, and then some, notes Chris Parry, the story's writer. Parry was careful and kind enough to - maybe unnecessarily - note the few reasonable voices in the crowd who were conservative, on Free Republic, and not racist. But there're always going to be a few exceptions to the rule, which, as far as you should be concerned, are absolute swamp creatures. Pardon any political incorrectness, but I think you'll agree if you happen to go over and dip your toe in what's mostly a bog of contagiously slimy invective and general retardation.

It gets worse, though. Chris Parry, it appears, has advocated on his Daily Kos blog any number of egregious offenses, among them: posting hate speech on sites like Free Republic and blaming it on conservatives. Parry posted under the name "hollywoodoz" on Daily Kos, where his signature was "Fool me once, I'll punch you in the fucking head." Parry outed himself as hollywoodoz here, where he discloses the company he helped start. In essence: Parry, the journalist, found his story right where he'd been circling it for a very long time, and reported it as news. Sigh.

Bottom line: Parry's noble intentions are paving him a road to hell, by taking the same one the slimeball majority at Free Republic employs. They're probably going to cheer a "mainstream," centrist blog pointing out the offenses of a liberal reporter trying to expose hate speech, but they shouldn't get it mixed up. A quick glance at Free Republic and you'll probably see the same thing I did: some of the most egregious examples that lend credence to the idea that some people just shouldn't be allowed near a keyboard, or to open their mouths, no matter what their political affiliation. Or, as some would have it: STFU.

Conservative Free Republic blog in free speech flap after racial slurs directed at Obama children [Vancouver Sun]

Update: Since this post was penned, we heard from Chris Parry. "You accuse me of advocating the planting of hate speech on right wing websites, but you don't link to any such thing, and I'm unaware of having ever said such a comment in my many years at dKos. If you could point me to any evidence of same, I'd appreciate it. If you can't, can I ask you add a note stating as much?" The off-putting issue was Parry's signature, and the acronyms he posted at DailyKos. Both of these places can be rabbit holes of liberal/conservative baiting, and Parry - a journalist at a newspaper - clearly had something against the posters at Free Republic from the get-go (rightfully so, I should add: they're generally terrible people, as evidenced by what I've seen). These were first indicators that something was arguably off: someone employed in a traditional news outlet who also was a commenter on a far-left liberal blog. The acronyms - however facetious, which is the context I've now seen after spending time in said rabbit hole - were a (mild) advocacy, in my eyes: the "truth to every joke" idiom goes in, here. That being said, there's nothing to prove he actually planted anything. The headline was the only inaccurate part of this post, and it's now been changed from Hate Speech Against Malia Obama On Conservative Blogs Reported By Hate Speech Planting Journalist to Hate Speech Against Malia Obama On Conservative Blogs. Because, at the end of the day, who reported it isn't nearly as interesting as what's being reported, and the trend it's evidence of: respectively, a bunch of racist mouthbreathers calling this little girl a whore, and whatever the opposite of human evolution is.

From: Theobald, William
Sent: Saturday, February 07, 2009 4:29 PM
To: Finkenbinder, Benjamin N.
Cc: Hogan, Katherine J.
Subject: Pool Report No. 1

Here it is. Let me know you received it. Thanks.

Bill

Even though President Obama's departure was open press, your pool feels obligated to write something — if only to justify his day spent sitting in the White House briefing room.

Marine One touched down on the South Lawn of the White House at 3:42 p.m. About 10 minutes later, First Lady Michelle Obama emerged first with Sasha and another young girl, apparently a friend. President Obama followed, saying "nice day" to the gathered media as he walked to the helicopter. Malia Obama and Marian Robinson, the FGOTUS, followed and they climbed aboard Marine One.
President Obama was the last to enter, saluted the Marine at the foot of the steps, and turned and waved as he entered the door.
Wheels up at 3:55 p.m. on the first family's first trip to Camp David.

That's a lid.
.

Bill Theobald
Correspondent
Gannett News Service

Who is Ben Finkenbinder, the guy to whom Theobald emailed his report? His editor, perhaps? No. Finkenbinder (left) is one of the impossibly young former Obama campaign staffers working in the White House Press Office. Because access to the president is strictly limited, reporters take turns tailing the president in the hopes that something happens on their watch. The assigned reporter writes a "pool report," which is distributed to everyone participating in the system. And because the Washington press corps is hopelessly pliant and disorganized, reporters email their pool reports to the White House press office for distribution.

Surely a system which forces the likes of Theobald, an award-winning journalist previously best known for exposing the vicious pet-killers of Indianapolis, to email in reports on the president's whereabouts to some kid barely out of college is rotten to its core.

Ty, Inc. maintained all along that the dolls had nothing to do with the First Family. Why are liberals so sensitive about two black dolls released together, within a week of the inauguration, that happen to be named the same as the president's daughters? Not everything is about your God/president, socialists. Sheesh.

But then Michelle Obama's people complained, and she's the most popular lady in the world right now, so Ty had to back off in some small way.

So it stopped selling the Sasha and Malia dolls. Now they're Sydney and Mariah. See? Totally different. Care to call off your attack dogs now, Obamas?

"We appreciate the company's response to this matter," said Mrs Obama's press secretary, Katie McCormick Lelyveld.

Of course, now the dolls will just be put on display under little hand-drawn signs that same "SAME AS FORBIDDEN SASHA/MALIA DOLLS." God help the store clerk on duty the first time Rahm Emanuel runs into one of those.

Ty is the company behind the once-wildly-popular Beanie Babies, and it was totally obvious its intent with the newly-released "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia"installments of the "TyGirlz Collection" was to create another mass doll craze that would capitalize on the popularity of the First Family. Telling an incredulous media the dolls had nothing to do with the Obamas generated free advertising even as it protected the company legally.

But turnabout is fair play: Now Michelle Obama is leveraging her tremendous popularity as the chicest First Lady in decades to make the company pay a hefty PR price for its stunt. Her spokeswoman slammed the dolls in the Times:

“We feel it is inappropriate to use young, private citizens for marketing purposes,” Katie McCormick Lelyveld, Mrs. Obama’s press secretary, said in a statement on Saturday.

There you have it: Buy these dolls only if you hate Hope, Change, Michelle and Sasha and Malia Obama, and being, um, "appropriate."

"There's nothing on the dolls that refers to the Obama girls," Lundeen said. "It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls. They are not."

Dan Akroyd's Irwin Mainway couldn't have said it any better himself.

We're certain Ty Inc. will patiently deny that these "TyGirlz Collection" dolls are at all related to the Obama family as many times as it takes, in front of as many reporters and cameras as necessary, possibly thousands upon thousands of times. For the sake of accuracy, of course, so that no one gets the impression these are OBAMA FAMILY DOLLS, despite the remarkable similarity. Since that's not what these are. Not SASHA AND MALIA OBAMA in doll form. Nope.

It's kind of mushy and silly and doesn't make me hate the girls' father any less, plus it was published in the Wall Street Journal. But I guess it's kind of cute, so here. Some words on being the First Daughters:

Be Nice to the Help:
"If you ever need a hug, go find Ramsey. If you want to talk football, look for Buddy. And, if you just need a smile, look for 'Smiley.'"

Oh the People You'll Meet:
"As older girls, we were constantly inspired by the amazing people we met, politicians and great philosophers like Vaclav Havel. We dined with royalty, heads of states, authors, and activists. We even met the Queen of England and managed to see the Texas Longhorns after they won the National Championship."

Don't Believe the Hype:
"Our dad, like yours, is a man of great integrity and love; a man who always put us first. We still see him now as we did when we were seven: as our loving daddy. Our Dad, who read to us nightly, taught us how to score tedious baseball games. He is our father, not the sketch in a paper or part of a skit on TV."

Enjoy the Bowling Alley:
"The East sitting room became a peaceful place to read and study. We ran on the track in the front lawn, and squared off in sisterly bowling duels down in the basement alley."

Every President Plays T-Ball:
"Slide down the banister of the solarium, go to T-ball games, have swimming parties, and play Sardines on the White House lawn. Have fun and enjoy your childhood in such a magical place to live and play."

Don't Let Time Pass You By:
"In fact, go to anything and everything you possibly can: the Kennedy Center for theater, State Dinners, Christmas parties (the White House staff party is our favorite!) [More being nice to the little people!], museum openings, arrival ceremonies, and walks around the monuments. Just go. Four years goes by so fast, so absorb it all, enjoy it all!"

Neg!

Image via Getty

Yeah, good luck with that. Sidwell's tuition runs nearly $30,000 a year, but that's a pittance for an enterprising tabloid. What's stopping the National Enquirer from planting a junior informant to cozy up to the Obama kids? Failing that, they could simply shell out milk money for cameraphone photos and text-messaged reports of their playground misadventures.

The notion that paying for an exclusive school will shelter Malia and Sasha Obama from an omnivorous media beast seems delusionally outdated. Instead, the kids will have to cultivate a steely reserve like their father's. It's hard to imagine a gaffe-free childhood — but that seems to be their only option.

(Photo by AP)

Founded by Quakers — America's most useful religious minority — in 1883, the school renovated its 50 year main building in 2006, and turned it green:

The kids will be able to join the lower school's newspaper, The Lower School Times, which features hard-hitting journalism from young men and women not old enough to understand why their interview question is inappropriate:

The Obamas may be interested to know that the school pretty much has a Diversity Department, although the dream of the kids being treated like their classmates died long ago, anyway. Eventually, the age difference between Malia and Sasha will separate the two girls, as Sidwell Friends maintains a separate 5 acre campus for its Lower School in Maryland, while the Upper and Middle Schools sit on the main campus on D.C.'s Wisconsin Avenue. We can only pray Drudge saves a Red Alert for the day that happens. But don't worry: headmaster Bruce B. Stewart will guide the two as only he can until that traumatic day:

Just please, ladies, promise us one thing. Watch out for these two jokers:

Why Sasha and Malia Will Go To Sidwell Friends [Time]

In Touch
"Brad Feels Trapped." Basically, this mag insists that Angelina is knocked up with her 7th child, and that Brad is "tormented" by her "baby joy." And insider says, "Brad feels trapped. He knows he can't leave her now." Cuz before, when they only had 6 kids, he could totally just walk away. But seven?? Anyway, the "source" claims that even before the twins were born, Brad tried to "escape" by "drinking vast amounts of beer." Moving on: Tom and Katie are celebrating their two-year anniversary. What keeps them together? Their daughter. Katie "puts up with a lot for Suri's sake," a friend claims. The friend also says: "Life with Tom is not what Katie thought it would be." For the love of Xenu. Also inside: Nicole Richie is "too thin again." A nutritionist who doesn't treat her estimates her weight is 90 lbs.; she was 85 lbs. at her thinnest. Lindsay Lohan has a crush on Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick! "I love Chuck Bass," she says. "I want to be his friend." Evan Rachel Wood has "finally" found a guy her age: The 21-year-old was seen making out with Joseph Gordon Levitt, 27. This comes just 3 weeks after breaking up with 39-year-old Marilyn Manson. Christina Ricci has a new man, and he is 6 foot 6 (Fig. 1). On a spread called "The Most Expensive Celebrity Weddings," we learn that Jessica Simpson spent $250,000 on roses; both Mariah and Gwen Stefani had $500,000 receptions; Trista Rehn had $50,000 platinum and diamond-encrusted shoes. By the by: John Stamos is ready to have kids! Lastly, the epically dumb story: "Suri Is Copying Lindsay's Style" (Fig. 2)! Since this is the only weekly not to cover the Obamas, it receives an automatic failure.
Grade: F- (dreadlock)

Life & Style
"Jen Speaks Out On Angelina." You've heard this a million times over the last two days and here it is again: Jennifer Aniston thinks that Angelina talking about falling in love during Mr. And Mrs. Smith is "very uncool." Jen's friends "know to avoid" talking about Brangelina, and Jen says she can deal with running into Brad, but she's tired of being tied to him publicly. Yawn. Moving on! There are two pages based on Lindsay Lohan's Bazaar interview, in which she says she's not a lesbian. She does say she sees herself getting married "eventually." The mag asks, to a man or a woman? LL answers, "I don't know." In a Brad and Angelina story called "Time Apart," we learn that the two make sure they have "date night" at least two nights a month — the nannies watch the kids. A "Meet The First Daughters" story informs us that Malia Obama likes ice cream: "Ice cream is my favorite food," she says. "I could eat ice cream forever." Sasha likes to dance to Beyoncé on her iPod. Beyoncé has offered to sing at the inauguration! Insiders say that moving to the White House will probably be easier on Sasha because she's younger and more of an extrovert. Malia already has her own set of friends and a life that she's used to, so she may get homesick. But! The White House does have a in-house movie theater, swimming pool and bowling alley. Next: Kim Kardashian has "stolen" Angelina Jolie's stylist, Jen Rade, who told her to ditch the extensions and stop wearing so much tight stuff. "I've kept 10 Herve Leger dresses as keepsakes," says Kim, "but I've gotten rid of 40." Hayden Panettiere is 19 and now has a $2.6 million house in L.A. It looks cute. Lastly, in "Dr. Rey's Casebook," the doc says that Mandy Moore's nose is "perfect for her face" didn't she have it done? He also claims that Whitney Port would be "stunning" with Lauren Conrad's nose (Fig. 3). She looks awful. Women are not Lego, for you to swap and change pieces, doctor.
Grade: F+ (rat's nest)

OK!
"Michelle's Private World." Intern Margaret says she didn't really learn anything new about Michelle, and the only source the mag uses is Yusef Williams, Michelle's hairstylist. He does reveal that "Michelle has a lot of full-length hair — no extensions — and she has relaxed." Williams explains, in great detail, how to get her 'do: there's serum, blow-drying and flat ironing involved. He expects her look to evolve when the Obamas hit the White House: "I'm sure there is going to be change, because that's the motto: Change. Expect something shorter, layered, fun and one-of-a-kind." There are rumors that the earrings Michelle wore on election night were a gift from Oprah, but that's not true. They're $10,000 Loree Rodkin earrings. We also learned how to get Malia and Sasha's looks, by shopping H&M, Bloomingdales, J. Crew and Payless. Moving on: Britney's son Jayden was rushed to the hospital on Sunday, and an allergic reaction to shellfish was the cause. No shrimp cocktail for little Jay! There's a two-page spread with "exclusive" pictures from Mel B.'s vow renewal in Egypt, if you care.
Grade: C- (teased tangles)

Star
"Devastated Jen: How Could You!" So yeah, what is Jen Aniston pissed about now? According to the mag, Jen was surfing the web and "came across a story that plunged a knife directly into her heart." It was when Brad told Oprah that Angelina is "the love of his life." Oprah asked him if he's the happiest he's ever been, and Brad answers, "Dare I say?" To which Oprah said, "Dare I see!" The mag digs up a quote from 1996, when Brad Pitt dedicated his Golden Globe from 12 Monkeys to "the love of my life, my angel": Gwyneth Paltrow. And! In 2004, while Brad was still with Jen but had started filming Mr. And Mrs. Smith, he said: "We'll see where this thing is going. I'm not sure it is really in our nature to be with someone for the rest of our lives." Now Jen is wondering if Brad ever really love her, and she called his mom to cry about it. An insider says having John Mayer's baby is going to be Jen's "in your face" to Brad. Apparently John Mayer is so frustrated by Jen's "lingering feelings" for Brad that he's written pages and pages of rants he plans to turn into song lyrics. Moving on: Blind item! "Which new mom is having a little too much fun when her baby's dad is out of town? Booze and coke aren't quite the best diet for someone who is still breastfeeding." Also inside: "America's First Sweethearts" is all about Sasha and Malia Obama! Sasha, who will be the youngest kid in the White House since Kennedy's children, is a budding gymnast who collects snowglobes — dad picks them up during his travels! Plus, there's a picture of Sasha and Barack in a bumper car (Fig. 4)! Lastly, there are six pages called "Hollywood Strip Show," which is about stars who have been — or played — strippers. Did you know that Mark Consuelos was known as the "king of whipped cream" when he danced in Tampa in the early '90s?
Grade: C (dry curls)

Us
"I Think I'm A Pretty Cool Dad." The issue devotes eight pages to Barack Obama, after having a 13-page page story about the Obamas and other White House families last week. They even have a page called "Obamas — Just Like Us!" (Fig. 5) You get to see tons and tons of pictures, especially of Sasha and Malia — rollerskating, playing with a puppy, hugging dad, etc. There's also a page called "Fake Baby News," in which Us calls out In Touch OK! and Star for spreading vicious, vicious lies. (Fig. 6) Keep your enemies close!
Grade: C+ (conditioned tresses)
















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