Most humans possessing a first-grade education—including precocious preschoolers—are well aware that shopping malls, once a glassy symbol of American cultural homogeny, are as dead as MusicLand. Dead-dead. And those that are not dead are dying. And the ones that already died are coming back as anything but malls.…

In 2009, the American Mall was dying. In 2010, the American Mall was still dying. In 2011: Hey, how'd you like to buy an American Mall?