Marco Rubio’s presidential campaign is currently in a scuffle with CNN. Or maybe it’s the other way around? Who started it? Will it matter? It won’t.

Donald Trump wants Ted Cruz all to himself, probably in a closed-off room with no cameras and soft lighting.

If there is one thing that really gets under Donald Trump’s mealy skin, it’s when Marco Rubio—anyone really, but especially Marco Rubio—brings up the failed and allegedly fraudulent “Trump University.”

His backpedalling form is excellent.

Welcome, patriots, to what history will almost certainly see as the night America sealed its gruesome fate. That’s right—it’s Donald Trump Victory Night. And judging by the various primaries and caucuses thus far, it’s sure to be a night we’ll never forget. No matter how hard we try.

In a speech celebrating his (in all likelihood) universal defeat on Tuesday, Marco Rubio courageously admitted Donald Trump’s supremacy. “He loves to talk about polls? We are seeing in state after state: His numbers coming down, our numbers going up.”

Marco Rubio is almost certainly not going to come out of Super Tuesday a winner. This isn’t really in dispute, even by the people who work for him, who today explained to their most important funders that the Rubio campaign isn’t planning on winning any Super Tuesday states, or maybe even any states at all, ever.

Marco Rubio, trying to be mean again, claimed at a campaign rally on Sunday that Donald Trump has small hands for how tall he is, and that “You know what they say about men with small hands—you can’t trust ‘em!”

David Green, founder and CEO of the arts-and-crafts chain store Hobby Lobby, has turned his brilliant political mind to the presidential campaign, and leveled his mammoth influence onto the head of a Republican who, now, will surely win. That blessed head belongs to none other than Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida.

“You guys wanna have a little fun today?” said Marco Rubio, preparing his crowd for what would, undoubtedly, be a gut-busting round of political tom-foolery.

Donald Trump and Chris Christie today held a joint press conference, ostensibly to announce Christie’s endorsement, but effectively to roast the hell out of Marco Rubio.

Big boy (who is sick of being treated like a little kid!!) Marco Rubio is mad. So mad, in fact, that he spent a good four minutes of his stump speech this morning trying to rail on Donald Trump. This included—but was not limited to—reading Trump’s misspelled tweets from his phone, effectively calling Trump a spoiled…

Very presidential.

After getting manhandled early in the debate, Marco Rubio finally found a way to get under Trump’s skin—by bringing up the defunct, fraudulent “Trump University.”

The final Republican debate before so-called next week’s “Super Tuesday” series of primaries got real rowdy real quick, with Marco Rubio attacking Donald Trump over his having hired undocumented immigrants to work on one of his real estate projects in the 1980s.

Last night, your favorite Republican candidate once again got massacred by Donald Trump. It might seem like things are getting pretty dire. It’s going to be hard for you to defend your favorite Republican candidate to your co-workers at the water cooler, where you all discuss politics daily. But you really shouldn’t…

The group behind CPAC—the nation’s favored gathering for white conservatives who want to take a selfie with a GOP candidate—today issued a statement calling Marco Rubio’s decision to skip the annual mutual admiration conference a “rookie move.”

Both the Guardian and Politico ran stories today about Sheldon Adelson, last seen triggering the Las Vegas Review-Journal’s rapid self-destruction, and the GOP’s growing panic over his increasingly obvious absence from the primary process—or his money’s, really.