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New York, 3:24 AM
Tue Dec 8
50 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt

    Meet Marc Schrenker, the MacGyver of Money Mayhem

    Executive Stages Plane Crash, Fails To Fake Death
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    Maybe if he'd been a better liar he might have pulled this thing off.


    Generally you don't stick with the "my windshield cut the bejeezus out of me" when the cops find you and the only marks on you are the self-inflicted suicide wounds. Just a hint for anyone looking to try this in the future.

     Reply
    JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    He tried to off himself in a KOA? So he was already in hell?
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of Tattertotter Tattertotter
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    make that faint and I can't tell you how ashamed I am for sharing that . . .
     Reply
    Tattertotter was starred Tattertotter was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/14/09

    @Tattertotter: That's what Gawker's for...all those horrible things we can't say to people who count.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    Why not fly into Mexico, land at a remote, small-town airport, hand the first guy you see $5,000 and tell him to store the plane for 6 months, hand more cash to everyone you encounter at the airport, get the nearest cantina, catch the first bus out of town? Keep it simple, stupid.
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of Hydroceph Hydroceph
    01/14/09

    @CaptainFantastic: It's a good thing that wouldn't leave an impression in the minds of a bunch of dirt-poor peasants or anything.
     Reply
    Hydroceph was starred Hydroceph was unstarred
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    01/14/09

    @CaptainFantastic: Umm...you've planned this out too well. I haven't invested any money with you, have I? If I have, could ya give it back?
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    His plane was on autopilot at 2,000 feet, which is lower than the peak of Mt. Tamalpais in Marin. Which makes me wonder how my family made it up to the peak for weekend picnics without a pressurized station wagon. Maybe it's the hypoxia that explains my life.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    01/14/09

    @BadUncle: God, I wish I could heart you again for evoking the image of a family picnic is Marin County in an "[un]pressurized station wagon."
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    01/14/09

    @i'm_a_bottle: It's the hypoxia talking. Quick - go smoke a refreshing cigarette.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of Our Lady of the Massacre Our Lady of the Massacre
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    He kinda looks like Liev Schreiber. Just sayin'.
     Reply
    Our Lady of the Massacre was starred Our Lady of the Massacre was unstarred
    Image of SweetIo SweetIo
    01/14/09

    @Our Lady of the Massacre: With a touch of Luke Wilson, perhaps?
     Reply
    SweetIo was starred SweetIo was unstarred
    Image of Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    O.K., wanting to fake your own death, sure! Everyone's thought of that. Whether in junior high or when being investigated for fraud, that's just kind of a "go to" thought. But, to fake your death in Alabama? That's just not cool, man. Not cool.
     Reply
    Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux was starred Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux was unstarred
    Image of seancasio seancasio
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    [IMG][i224.photobucket.com]]
     Reply
    seancasio was starred seancasio was unstarred
    Image of FormerEnglishMajor FormerEnglishMajor
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    Did he mention, in his email to his friend, checking into a motel under an assumed name? Or getting his motorcycle at a storage facility, also under an assumed name?


    There must be a lack of oxygen, causing hypoxia, on the ground in Alabama.

     Reply
    FormerEnglishMajor was starred FormerEnglishMajor was unstarred
    Image of OrneryBabe OrneryBabe
    01/14/09

    @FormerEnglishMajor: To me, the email is the best part of the story. Because nothing says "I'm dead" better than sending an email . . . after said death. Oh right, I guess the hypoxia confused him.
     Reply
    OrneryBabe was starred OrneryBabe was unstarred
    Image of FormerEnglishMajor FormerEnglishMajor
    01/14/09

    @OrneryBabe: That really is priceless. He was so careful, stowing away the motorcycle - but emailed after his supposed death. It's like you can't make this stuff up.
     Reply
    FormerEnglishMajor was starred FormerEnglishMajor was unstarred
    Image of tigolbitties tigolbitties
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    can someone explain to me why people lie about shit that can obviously be proven to be a lie? so when investigators show him pictures of his still intact windshield clearly he can't stand by the hypoxia/shards of glass nearly killed me story... i just don't get it...
     Reply
    tigolbitties was starred tigolbitties was unstarred
    Image of someonelikeyou someonelikeyou
    01/14/09

    @tigolbitties:


    I think I read that his plans were to ditch the plane in the Gulf, but ran out of gas too soon. If it had gone down in the water, the evidence would have been much harder to piece together.

     Reply
    someonelikeyou was starred someonelikeyou was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    01/14/09

    @tigolbitties: particularly a window imploding, which would assume greater pressure on the outside. Whence the hypoxia? Was he flying in a vacuum-chamber?
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of FormerEnglishMajor FormerEnglishMajor
    01/14/09

    @someonelikeyou:


    This is what he planned to do - look at the flight path. He underestimated the drag from the open door and wind rushing into the plane, so the fuel ran out before the plane hit water.


    If you look at a map of the path, he was very, very close to making the Gulf. But he blew it - and now they have all the intact windows to prove it. Not to mention the scrambled military jets who saw the windows, the door up, etc.

     Reply
    FormerEnglishMajor was starred FormerEnglishMajor was unstarred
    Image of forwardmotion forwardmotion
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    What happened to failing with quiet dignity? *sigh*
     Reply
    forwardmotion was starred forwardmotion was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    Just for sheer bad-assitude, like the part about stashing the bike in storage and then hopping on it and making your getaway via motorcycle a la Steve McQueen in "The Great Escape."


    The only problem is that in the dead of winter there are like ZERO motos out on the roads so you stick out like a sore thumb. How many red Yamahas are out and about this time of year? I ride to work whenever I can and don't even see other bikers most days this time of year.


    Should have stashed a cheapo Camry or something.

     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of Colander Colander
    01/14/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC: Camrys are not theatrical enough (which is obv his prediliction). He would've needed to hijack an ambulance or firetruck or something.
     Reply
    Colander was starred Colander was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    01/14/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC: It's not that cold down south. Highs in the 40s and 50s?
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    01/14/09

    @CaptainFantastic:

    Mostly. I rode to work most of last week and did a few hundreds miles two weekends ago. This week it's gotten into the 30 degree zone early in the morning. Too cold for me!


    And the 40s-50s is still way too cold for the vast majority of weekend warrior types (cough Harley guys cough).

     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of JacquesPaysan JacquesPaysan
    01/14/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC: Yeah, if we've learned anything from the Bourne movies, inconspicuous, yet reliable transportation is definitely the way to go.
     Reply
    JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred
    Image of dado dado
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    There but for the grace of God, the lack of a plane, general dislike of heights, and inability to cut myself, and lack of current civil judgements against me, go I.
     Reply
    dado was starred dado was unstarred
    Image of FormerEnglishMajor FormerEnglishMajor
    01/14/09

    @dado:


    I snorted tea out of my nose! HA!

     Reply
    FormerEnglishMajor was starred FormerEnglishMajor was unstarred
    Image of Helman Helman
    01/14/09

    @dado: Excellent
     Reply
    Helman was starred Helman was unstarred
    Image of forwardmotion forwardmotion
    01/14/09

    @Helman: You speak for us all.
     Reply
    forwardmotion was starred forwardmotion was unstarred
    Image of FlipTurn FlipTurn
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    Somewhere a child psychiatrist is salivating over the thought of the years and years of therapy this asshat's children will need. Bless their hearts.
     Reply
    FlipTurn was starred FlipTurn was unstarred
    Image of ADismalScience ADismalScience
    01/14/09

    @FlipTurn:


    The saliva stops once the child psychologist realizes that this guy probably doesn't have any money anymore.

     Reply
    ADismalScience was starred ADismalScience was unstarred
    Image of thundermonkey thundermonkey
    01/14/09

    In reply to Death-Faking Pilot Captured After Suicide Attempt
    I would have gone with "A one-armed man did it!"
     Reply
    thundermonkey was starred thundermonkey was unstarred
    Image of Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux
    01/14/09

    @thundermonkey: But did you learn your lesson from J. Walter Weatherman?
     Reply
    Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux was starred Steve Holt's Mother Part Deux was unstarred
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