Well, you can expect pretty much the same. Heidi will speak with her telephone operator of doom voice, Tim Gunn will gather the kids around, fashion dominatrix Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Elle Marie Claire magazine will say something bitchy, and Michael Kors will cackle his little cackle and all the children will run and hide.

Of course, they are now in L.A. at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising instead of Parsons and there's a new magazine sponsor (way to get fired, Nina!), but they will still shop at Mood and send the models to that palace of beauty, the L'Oreal Paris Makeup Room. Oh, and let us not forget about the All-Star Challenge before the premiere with all of your favorite returning contestants, and the new show Models of the Runway which follows the runway drones do something other than show off the designs. Just what, we're still not sure.

The only variable is always the contestants, who we'll all probably hate tomorrow, except for the ones we love, and we will hate them by the middle of next week.

Speaking of contestants, the finalists' collections were already shown at Fashion Week last February, so the whole world has already seen them (and you can too). There are only three, which means there is no fourth collection to throw off the dogs about who is in and who is out, or in a cruel twist of fate, there are only two finalists and Lifetime has outsmarted us all. We have a hard time believing that.

So, we peeped the looks and compared them to the designer's portfolio's on the show's site and we think we have sussed out just who we're going to be stuck with until the skinny lady sings.

Collection 1: Lots of knits and black pants and leggings. Zero color. There's a bit of inventive draping, but there are also those stupid little gloves that don't even go to the wrist. It belongs to:

Logan Neitzel, lover of John Galliano. He uses the same shiny fabrics, muted colors and over-sized flourishes. Plus, he looks like the kind of boy who would love those stupid gloves.

Collection 2: Lots of draping without a bow, flounce, belt, or asymetrical doo-dad over one shoulder that it doesn't like. It belongs to:

Viviane Westwood wannabe Althea Harper, who uses just as much embellishment and loves something over only one shoulder. Just look at the picture.

Collection 3: It is black like the tortured heart of a poet. There are lots of pants and shredded things. Oh, and stupid hats. It belongs to:

Irinia Shabayeva, who channels Jean Paul Gaultier. She also loves black, and pants and crazy-shaped pants. Though, she does look too fabulous for those hats.

New York Times Detroit bureau chief Micki Maynard pursued her love of U2 to absurd lengths.

Ultrapretentious startup consultant Chris Sacca got excited about a nude wedding.

Marie Claire features editor Lea Goldman contracted the Blueprint Cleanse flu.

VentureBeat snooper Eric Eldon listened in.

Fast Company writer Ellen McGirt made an obscure Blueprint Cleanse reference, we think.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets — or send us more Twitter usernames.

Jessica Coen gets email evidence that two of Wintour's assistants are leaving, and she needs some replacements who are "Smart, well-educated, calm, etc." ("Etc.= "nonviolent, and without any aspirations of writing a screenplay").

So is editorial assistanship still a pathway to the stars? No, it never really was. But now you can't even pretend that it's a Devil Wears Prada-esque, tough and unforgiving but glamorous job, because a new reality show about Marie Claire assistants is revealing the truth. At least in subtext:

In reality, dozens of interns come through the offices of Marie Claire each year, only to discover that the job entails nothing more interesting than carrying garment bags and making copies, and that editors, who can be unpredictable, comical, superficial beings, can also be terribly dull.

The one ray of hope: if you do land that Wintour assistant spot and then use the opportunity to leak to us on a daily basis, there is one (1) all-expenses-paid pizza in it for you, with toppings of your choice. (Up to three).

Marie Claire's is of course only the latest message to illustrate the perils of forgetting to put addresses on the Bcc: line instead of To:. Fox News' Susan Estrich and Mediabistro's Laurel Touby have similarly embarrassed themselves.

But Marie Claire included some A-listers among the usual stew of New York media people. Their email addresses are now overexposed! Time for new GMail accounts or whatever! Which is easy enough, but reconfiguring iPhones and BlackBerrys could waste literally days, collectively!

A partial list of victims:

• Tina Fey
• Ashley Olsen
• Maggie Gyllenhaal
• Rachel Weisz
• Lindsay Lohan
• Jeremy Piven
• Oliver Platt
• Sandra Oh
• Sean Avery
• Nina Garcia

Keep them in your prayers!

A tipster tells us this dirty rumor:

"Marie Claire magazine in the brand new hearst tower was infested by bed bugs on Friday, courtesy of a fashion intern. employees in the affected area were sent home on Friday.
Over the weekend, total fumigation of the floor. Will it appear in the reality show they've been filming up there?!
The girls were acting like they'd contracted HIV."

To make the event even better, we hear that Hearst officials announced to everyone in the entire area that the bedbugs were brought in by an intern, probably making said intern feel very, very bad. Not NBC Pooping Intern bad, but bad. Is there any career a bedbug cannot destroy?

[If you know more about this, email us]

Oooooh, "suffered"?? "Lookalike" son? Ouch!

Who is Joanna Coles? Well, for starters she is an actual real journalist, and was a longtime New York bureau chief for the Guardian in London before she got into fashion magazines, which is one of the reasons she is considered an "outsider" by fashion people. She is an outsider!

Man, would it kill the fashion community to be kind to its earnest newcomers? Yes! Seriously, guys! Well, in defense of the shit-talkers there is nothing more irritating than the British person who comes to New York and succeeds by embodying all the irritating traits for which British people are always mocking Americans. For instance, in the interview today, she admitted that she had been keeping a diary since she was seven. Who does that? Navelgazing Americans! She admitted in another interview that she really admired marathon runners and that she was training for a half-marathon herself. Who does that? Pointlessly overachieving Americans! She famously got her job by running after Hearst president Cathy Black's JFK-bound limo and jumping into it for an hourlong pitch session and she is proud of that fact. Who does that? You know, I bet the intern who took herself seriously enough to show up for work after her poopfest would do that. Amanda from The Paper would do that. I would never do any of these things and that my friends is your public service announcement for today.

She doesn't seem a lot like Nina Garcia! Yeah, she's pretty much the exact opposite of Nina Garcia, who is known for liking nice things, taking a lot of vacations, engaging in the odd extramarital dalliance, hanging out with the indulgent socialite likes of Tinsley Mortimer and Vogue editor Lauren Davis and never really giving a shit about the whole "having it all" dilemma that is one of the foremost obsessions of Joanna and her nanny advocating deputy Lucy Kaylin until she found herself pregnant at age 42. But Nina is famous/on famously good terms with all the luxury brand gatekeepers, and Joanna is an opportunist, so that's how that happened.

Should I work for her? Joanna's writers and editors mainly seem to love her. Part of this is because women's magazine employees have either been beaten down by the oppressive stupidity of the Bonnie Fuller model (Bonnie edited Cosmo, Glamour and Us) or the oppressive conspicuous consumerism of the Anna Wintour one, but it's also because she's a smart, genuinely good person who is neither fake nor insecure, and that is rare in the top spot at women's magazines! Just know that she is very intense, starting at the interview stage!

Enemies? Well, Como editor-in-chief and fellow Hearst editress Kate White can't love that she made a point of telling Fashion Week Daily:

We don't do Ten Ways to Have Sex with your Boyfriend Tonight.' We took the word "orgasm" off the cover. It's a much more knowing, much smarter approach.

But Elle mastheaders are probably Joanna's main enemies, because the two French-transplanted brands (which used to share an owner!) are basically the only two magazines still bothering to attempt to be simultaneously "smart" and "fashion-forward" and that can be death to the newsstand performance, as Joanna has learned! Elle has had a lot more luck, but they've had Project Runway and the distinction of having always been an actually good magazine. Marie Claire likes to point out how its readership has gotten wealthier*, and also that the Hearst building is about ninety million times nicer, but that would make a job there that much harder to leave.

*Ha ha, since I stopped having to buy it for Jezebel@

Related: Joanna Coles Has Huge Handwriting Frontal Lobe

Nina told me1 last month she'd had plenty of offers to do other shows before, but didn't want to do a makeover show. She hasn't: According to Marie Claire, Running In Heels intends to "offer unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to Marie Claire and the stylish, smart women who put the magazine together each month," including "private video confessionals," in which "viewers will learn how the interns cope with their jobs, their superiors and each other." That sounds so good!!! Except, of course, for two things:

1. Seriously, it's Marie Claire.2 How bad could the bullshit be at Marie Claire? The show runs the risk of being as boring as Vogue's stupid three million dollar "documentary" web show no one except Tatiana watches. At least Elle's Stylista has the virtue of being watchable, at minimum, as a trainwreck.

2. It's going to be on the Style Network. Which is owned by Comcast, unlike new Project Runway host Lifetime, which is half-owned by Marie Claire publisher Hearst. What kind of entertainment conglomerate snatches up Nina Garcia only to not air her new foray into "docu"-reality TV? Something is off there. My guess is that Nina, who is pretty controlling of her image, did not want to make a campy gossipy addictive voyeuristic Devil Wears Prada-type reality show when she is already, you know, famous.

1 Yes, I know! I talked to her many times. Her favorite movie is "Scarface"! But Anne Slowey is more fun to hang out with. Which is to say, Anne Slowey would actually hang out with me.
2I mean, I know people who work at Marie Claire. They are completely totally normal, and not in that "for a brainwashed person" way!

While Garcia comes across as a natural fashionista descended from South American aristocracy, Slowey seems like an East Village hippie with no claim on the Miranda Priestly airs she apparently will put on in Stylista. She's described in "Birkenstocks and vintage frocks" and consulting "healers [and] alternative-medicine practitioners." She even hires an "energy cleaner" to get rid of negative energy after Garcia leaves.

Perhaps the clearest contrast between the two, the article notes, is revealed in comparing Elle.com videos touring each woman's closet. As you can see in excerpts from both videos above, that's true: Note the size and organization of Garcia's closet (presented first), in an apartment overlooking Central Park, to that of Slowey's in the East Village.

Garcia may now be known as "the evil one" or "the monster" around Elle, as Moe writes. But at least her show brings some redeeming value to the world of fashion, rather than indulging a contrived (for Elle and for Slowey, at least) and masochistic view of magazine employment.

[NY Mag]

Project Runway's clout wasn't inevitable. When Heidi Klum's show was first conceived, snobby Anna Wintour's Vogue turned down a request to provide a judge; the producers made do with Elle's Nina Garcia instead. And it's not clear how well the show, which was recently traded from NBC's Bravo to Lifetime by its producers at the Weinstein Company, will make the transition to a more mainstream channel with few of the trend-setting gay viewers who gave the show such buzz when it launched.

But magazines have found themselves increasingly dependent on reality fashion programming to maintain circulation and advertising in a troubled publishing environment. Elle's newsstand sales have dropped since the fourth season concluded in March with the victory of "fierce" flamer, Christian Siriano; the magazine is now backing a riskier new show with Tyra Banks, CW's Stylista (preview clip shown here). It isn't only that a title's presence on the show boosts circulation: industry insiders say that reality tie-ins are an increasingly important draw for fashion advertisers.

Under these circumstances, it's unsurprising that magazines such as Marie Claire, Bazaar and In Style are competing furiously for a role as the magazine partner of Project Runway. Marie Claire even hired away Elle's Nina Garcia to provide continuity; and the June issue featured Heidi Klum, the German supermodel turned Project Runway host who dispatches failing contestants with her signature "auf wiedersehen".

Marie Claire's Joanna Coles hardly disguised the intent: "With Nina coming on board and Heidi Klum on our June cover, it seems a moment of perfect synergy for the magazine.” There's one more thing though that would make the Hearst magazine's bid still more synergistic: hard cash. Word is that the Weinstein Company, which is trying to squeeze every last dollar out of its lucrative television hit, is demanding low seven figures from the competing magazines. For any that won't pay, it's auf wiedersehen.

This is the exceptionally clean, crisp handwriting of a person who thinks matters through and then expresses herself brightly without impulsive emotions muddying up her judgments.

There are several prominent hooks at the beginning of letters. This writer wants to acquire things ~ not simply treasure but power, adoration, applause, even immortality. There are also many tenacity hooks at the end of letters. What this writer earns will not easily be taken away from her.

She is without excessive preconceptions and prejudices and the open loops in her "e"s indicate that she open-mindedly allows new ideas to engage her thinking processes.

The "m"s and "n"s are rounded and indicate a methodical and logical way of reaching conclusions. Method and logic can be slow work, but they don't slow this writer down because of her good intuition (signaled by unconnected spaces between letters within words). Intuition (sometimes called "gut" thinking) allows her thoughts to leap over the stepping stones of logic and arrive at trusted conclusions. Intuition speeds up thinking and allows slower-minded people to compete with the more naturally swift minded. The writer is also analytical (v-shaped) formations in "m"s and "n"s). She hunts and finds her own information and then pulls data together, examines and evaluates the ideas, and then makes up her own mind.

Her goals are in the middle-practical range (the t bars are crossed about midway on the t stem). She's not reaching for the moon. She goes for what she can get without stretching too much. Her drive is strong enough (assertive t bars) to get her through.

The "p" forms have bottom loops: She must be physically active and on the move. Enforced routine deskwork would soon send her to a loony bin.

The inflated "d" loops indicate sensitivity to criticism that's not constructive. She cares about what is thought and said about her, and malicious comments hurt her even when she may not let on.

The left-side loops in certain "a"s signal a slight case of self-deceit. She may not always be frank with herself and tends to rationalize away unpleasantness. Therefore, she may at times be less than frank with others.

Full lower loops on "y" forms signal a good imagination. However, she may stop short of making her dreams materialize in reality.

She will take the initiative and take action on her own without being told (breakaway strokes within words or at the end of certain words).

She is very good with details (closely dotted "i"s) and won't forget or neglect the small stuff.

The writer is relatively comfortable in crowds, but she enjoys her own company even better. This writer is the kind of person with whom intelligent people wish to become friends.

Earlier: Tina Fey Keeps Perspective By Cleaning Up Baby Poop
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"I hope I don't become a cougar anytime soon," she adds with a laugh. "I throw out all my animal-print dresses recently out of fear of exactly that!"

But she's still got issues. Maybe she was looking for a grandfather figure?

The Odd Couple [Marie Claire]

The Social Commando "disarms with charm." Her decor features an "oil painting of her mother as a debutante, oil painting of herself as a debutante, framed photos of her and her mother with last summer's boyfriend on the Dalmatian coast." This is a girl whose sole purpose on Wall Street is "to have So Much Fun while avoiding anything that might be Ugh, So Not Fun," and "her 20s expire in a blur of So Much Fun, a swishing memory of body glitter and hiccups, the seasons marked only by a steady recursion of weddings—the last of which is often, and to everyone's surprise, her own." This is the girl so lionized by Jay McInerney, the one so hated by the women on Sex and the City (remember the episode where the girls go to the party in Connecticut thrown by their formerly fun friend who now has two kids? She's this girl). She is old money. Here, we detect a certain longing in Dana's voice, a recognition that while he may mock this character, he knows that, on the eve of his 32nd birthday, he too will settle down with her.

"The Ivy Beleaguered" has a "tunnel-like focus"; she "has no life at all"; "fluent in Mandarin and Spanish, she had a 4.0 in economics and two summers' worth of internships at the best venture-capital shops in Palo Alto." And, most tellingly, "she shops at Club Monaco and Express" and rarely goes out except on sultry summer nights to "hunt for that Indian businessman." Uh, okay! Here's some casual racism and classicism at work. Dana is at once jealous and contemptuous of the Ivy Beleaguered. She is new money, and probably of Asian descent. She has to work hard for what she gets, and Dana hates that she's smarter than he is. He consoles himself by telling himself that she has no life. She would never join the other analysts at the strip club!

"The Nuptialista" has "awesome cocktail party banter"; her signature cocktail is a "vodka Southside at Round Hill Club." Now, let us pause for just one moment. How many of Marie Claire's readers are aware of the existence of the Round Hill Club, the exclusive country club in Greenwich, CT? We're going to go with... maybe 7? Is Dana just fucking with the magazine and its readers, letting them know that even though he deigned to write for them and take their money, that he's still more privileged than they will ever be? Well, unless they marry up, of course. The Nuptialista is of the right social breed for Dana, but when it comes down to it, she's just a little too Charlotte for him—"what she seeks is someone who can promise her a future filled with her past: large houses, green lawns, social prominence." Also, she wants to get married too early. But Dana will definitely be at her wedding.

Finally, there's the "Big Swinging Chick," the only woman in Marie Claire's spread who's wearing a pantsuit. The subtext? She's a big lez, or at least, she's totally emasculated her husband. Dana is friends with this woman, certainly, but is also secretly scared shitless of her, even as he assumes a kind of loveable scamp place in her worldview. She's way too successful, though, for him to ever be really good friends with. Then again, she doesn't seem to have any friends.

A Field Guide to Wall Street Women [Marie Claire, not online]