The New York Post put together a wonderful little scorecard (below) on the divorce between Douglas-David and billionaire George David, which is finally drawn to an armistice. It's been a long drawn-out War of the Roses involving his accusations of her trying to force him into having way too much sex, and her costing upwards of $53K a week just to survive on the mean streets of the Upper East Side. She originally wanted $100 Million, but he wasn't giving in, instead only setting her up to live with around $30M in stock. But the best is the comical courthouse reaction of CEO David, who just paid $50M for her to GTFO and shut the coffee maker off on her way, please:

"I'm happy. I'm happy as can be!" the mogul crowed moments before signing a settlement in which he gives his former bride $42 million under their original postnup, plus $6.5 million in cash and the forgiveness of a $1.5 million tax debt she owed him. "It's a beautiful day out there," David said, smiling, when asked the reason for his happiness. "I got a great boat race tomorrow around Martha's Vineyard."

Asked if he'd marry again, he demurred, "Well, I don't know."

Please, of course our boat-racing fiend (a sexually passive act if there's ever been one, yeah?) is getting married again. If this floozy only cost a dirty $50mil to kick to the curb, surely he can go further upmarket for a bromide-addicted Nordic duchess or something? They make those too, I hear. Don't we have a Baroness we can take a cut from around here? As for the fate of the besieged bride-no-more:

"I'm just very relieved it's over," her highness said as she left court, single once more. "We're very happy we could get this over with and settle it." She isn't saying if she'll find another place in Manhattan or go back to Sweden, where she no longer has rights to a stunning $16 million seaside Stockholm penthouse she'd fought furiously to get her hands on. It's the ex-groom's now, free and clear.

"Stockholm's a beautiful town," he teased. "I'm sure I'll be back there. They've got some nice boat races there, too."

Boat races? What's with you people and the fucking boat races? Oh, christ. You guys were made for each other. I give it six months and she's back to raping him in no time. Don't forget to turn the lights off on the way in, and bring back some of that lingonberry shit when you return, yeah? Great.

CASH COUNTESS [NYP]

United Technologies Chairman George David will buy his hard- won freedom from his countess wife by tossing her a few extra million bucks — in the $10 million range. That's on top of the $45 million coming to her via their bitterly dis puted 2005 postnuptial agreement, according to sources on both sides of the talks.

Let us tip our hats to the lady for taking significantly less than the $100 million she initially demanded, which would have been only fair recompense for spending a few years with an older rich dude. Pray tell, will her meager sum be sufficient to fulfill her $650 weekly dry cleaning bill, and her $8,000 weekly "travel" bill, not to be confused with her $700 weekly car service bill? We must hope.

Any greedy, predatory younger men looking to soak an older rich woman for millions, now's your chance.
[NYP. Pic via]

Why does George David attract so many of the ladies? Because he is a generous sucker. He bought his mistress thousands and thousands of dollars worth of fancy items at La Perla, though he probably did not foresee the fact that one day he would have to have this exchange about it in open court:

"And La Perla is a women's — uh — lingerie store?"
"Bathing suits," said the mogul.
"High end?" asked the lawyer.
"I don't know enough to know that," the mogul snapped at the well-dressed lawyer, whose brightly colored socks are something of a trademark. "I suppose you know more than I do."
"Well, do you buy clothing for yourself there?" the lawyer asked, apparently trying to pin down just whose posteriors the purchased La Perlas were destined to barely cover.
"As far as I know, not," the mogul answered.
"What does that mean?" asked the lawyer.
"Well, I don't think they have clothing for men."

This is why most fabulously wealthy corporate titans just buy themselves sex trafficking victims and stash them in prison-like apartments in various third world countries, I imagine. Far less legal peril than cheating on countesses. Anyhow Andrea Peyser also reports that George David wears bad suits, is "insane," and is the World's Biggest Pussy.
[NYP. Pics: Getty]

George David is the former CEO of United Technologies, and he's worth $300 mil. So his wife thought it was only fair that she get $53K per week in their divorce, just to survive. She had to put up with a man who used divorce filings as foreplay, after all. And the guy's such a tightwad he kept the title to her engagement ring in his name!

But she's no great prize either: she once served him with divorce papers during a marriage counseling session; he compared talking to her to talking to a yapping dog; and—according to him—raped him, although he outweighs her by 100 pounds.

So we know George David is not exactly The Fonz. But perhaps you will have more sympathy when you hear what he had to put up with, as the man of the house:

"She spoke in an imperious, demanding, aggressive, assaultive way," complained the bachelor wannabe, United Technologies honcho George David, 67, of his 37-year-old wife, Swedish countess Marie Douglas-David, who these days uses the couple's $39 million Park Avenue penthouse as her temporary castle.

"I was subjected to an imperious, aggressive attack," David said of a 2006 spat at their $425,000-a-year beachfront rental in Sagaponack, LI. "It was tough!" he said of the "ugly experience."

Fascinating how rich men think nothing of trading away every shred of manhood, in public, in order to save a little in divorce payouts. George David, you are the beautiful, fragile vase in this marital China shop.
[NYP. Pic: Getty]

Today's devLOLopment in this divorce case of the decade: Pillow talk is the same as business consulting advice so she deserves $100 mil, end of story: "She was involved in reasoned discussions with him on a sophisticated level," her lawyer said.

Impossible! Her former United Technologies CEO husband George David's reply: I don't listen to the bitch, naked or not.

"I don't remember individual sexual experiences," he said on the first day of testimony.

Likewise, "I don't remember specific conversations with Marie [about business]," he insisted yesterday.

"But it's like you go home and talk to the dog," he explained yesterday, hastening to add, "I don't mean to equate her to a dog. I just mean you go home after work and you talk to who ever's there."

[NYP]

George David, locked in a messy public divorce battle, insists it's the latter. His Swedish countess wife, Marie Douglas-David, wants a $100 million goodbye package, in part because she said David two-timed her in 2007.

The couple had filed for divorce prior to this particular alleged infidelity. But the wife is saying they then reconciled. Her husband was turned on by divorce, her story goes.

If that sounds unbelievable, how about the husband's counter story: The divorce was very real and enduring but his wife "forced herself" on him against his will during the so-called reconciliation.

One purported rape came during a trip to Sweden. Another occured when, in a lawyer's words, "she grabbed [David] by the arm and pulled [him] to the bed."

The husband is 226 pounds and 6'3". The wife is 120 pounds.

Then again, she does have 30 years on him. You have to be careful with these minxes, plutocrats. They're not all fun and games and shopping sprees.

Here's what she had to put up with in this heartwarming marriage, besides her CEO husband George David's alleged divorce sex fetish:

David, she claims, controlled everything in her life buying her with fancy homes and vacations, and now trying to sell her on the cheap, dumping her on the street with nothing to her name but a measly $36 million in United Technologies stock.

Yes, he bought her diamonds and vacations and furs and houses etc. Be happy, bitch, amirite? But it was all in his name. Including, romantically, her engagement ring:

"When you gave her her engagement ring, did you tell Mrs. David that while she was going to have physical dominion over it, she did not actually own her engagement ring?" the countess' celebrity divorce lawyer, William Beslow, asked the mogul.

He answered, "I took the position consistently that she had it constructively. I said to her, it's absolutely it's constructively yours."

The words that shall melt the coldest woman's heart: "It's constructively yours." Also he was outta town when she said she had a miscarriage, and then he didn't believe she did. Okay! On the flipside, here's what he had to put up with: "nonstop verbal violence," the time she decided to bang that fencing champion, and this:

Douglas-David, on the other hand, sued her husband for divorce just once, three years ago but spectacularly.

She tried unsuccessfully to have him served while he attended a solo marriage-counseling session in Manhattan.

Why give up on this storybook romance? [NYP]

Marie wisely told her story to the sympathetic ear of New York Post condemnation columnist Andrea Peyser, chronicler of all things kinky. Like the wild breakup/ makeup sex fetish of Marie's 66 year-old CEO hubby!

Douglas-David, the Swedish countess, told me yesterday he filed for divorce from her regularly as a method of control and as a kind of weird sexual foreplay.

He filed for divorce four times during their loopy, seven-year marriage. But the separations ended, sometimes hours later, with bouts of crazy sex.

Sounds like a happy ending, ha! How about some salacious details of this "crazy sex," Marie?

"I went up and hugged him. I was completely in shock. We spent the rest of the day kissing and hugging and [him] saying he loved me.
"He had sex with me that afternoon. We went to dinner that night."

You kinky bastards. Marie claims that his off-the-wall fucking and her husband George's refusal to use in vitro fertilization are worth $100 mil, but sheeeit. Andrea Peyser has endured a young man's X-ray pubic hair for nothing more than a Post salary, and personal satisfaction. [NYP, Previously; Pic via]

Douglas-David is currently divorcing her husband George David, who's a former CEO, 30 years older than her, and an all-around rich guy with a mansion in Connecticut. She's demanding more money because the $36 mil he gave her won't cover her weekly expenses, which (in addition to the upkeep on two residences in Sweden) include:

Oh but shucks:

Marie Douglas-David, I swear you must just be some thinly drawn trashy TV drama character. [NYP. Pic via]