Hey, Soldier. Your Fly Is Down.
Please turn your attention to the gentleman on the right, in the slightly less unfortunate of the two ensembles before us. He is Marine Corps veteran Mark Geist, and if you’ll look carefully, his fly is down.
Ted Cruz Told Fox News a Bedtime Story Last Night
About an hour before the ball dropped in Times Square last night, the always charming and charismatic Ted Cruz, who is definitely not a dozen lizards wearing a human skin suit, went on Fox News to deliver a message, in the form of a parable.
The Four Marines Killed in Chattanooga Have Been Identified
The four Marines killed during yesterday’s shooting in Chattaonooga have been identified as Skip Wells, Thomas Sullivan, David Wyatt, and Carson Homquist.
If You Meet This Insane Escaped Killer, Don't Believe His Marine Tattoo
We know Richard Matt is a convicted killer on the loose. We know, thanks to my colleague Jordan Sargent, that “Matt is very handsome and, in all frankness, very well endowed.” Now we also know that Matt, for some weird reason, has this massive Marine Corps tattoo, even though the Marines say he never served.
Eight Bodies Recovered from Crashed U.S. Marine Helicopter in Nepal
Nepalese army officials announced Saturday that all eight bodies had been recovered from a U.S. Marine helicopter that crashed earlier this week, the Associated Press reports. There were six Marines and two Nepalese soldiers aboard.
U.S. Helicopter Vanishes in Nepal With Six Marines on Board
A U.S. Marine Corps helicopter assisting in earthquake relief is missing in Nepal following this morning’s powerful aftershock. Six Marines and two Nepalese soldiers were on board, according to a U.S. Pacific Command spokesman.
Oliver North on Tuesday criticized the Obama administration's deal for "hostage" Bowe Bergdahl as helping "a criminal enterprise that kills Americans." That's Oliver North, architect of the illegal plan to sell Iran missiles in hopes that they'd secure the release of U.S. hostages in Lebanon.
Texas Gun Nuts Go After a Marine Vet on the Street on Memorial Day
Not content to have scared wheelchair-bound moms, gotten kicked out of Chipotle, Chili's and Sonic, and set the gun-rights cause back a century, the supreme gentlemen of the open-carry movement struck on another dumb tactic: Intimidate a veteran and chase him through the streets.
U.S. Vet Jailed for Taking Guns to Mexico Says He Just Missed His Exit
A former combat Marine says he shouldn't be languishing in a Tijuana jail for crossing the Mexican border with three guns, because it was all a mistake: He was heading for a night out with his buddies in California, missed the last highway exit, and ended up Mexico-bound.
Marine Publicly Crucifies Himself on Easter, Sorta Regrets it Now
The United States Marines don't half-ass anything. Not even bizarre misguided protests in front of state capitols.
The top Marine who last week told Congress that pay cuts were good for discipline apologized to his troops in a letter for "a mistaken impression that I don't care about your quality of life and that I support lower pay for servicemembers." He then dropped them all and demanded 20 pushups.
Top Marine Says Pay Cuts Will Improve Discipline, Neck-Stomping Skills
Most military bigwigs might beg Congress not to reduce their troops' pay. But they're not the Marines' top enlisted man, who told a Senate panel to slash away Wednesday. His Marines could care less, he said, because they just "want to know into whose neck do we put a boot next."
"Marine Todd" Is an Awesomely Stupid Right-Wing Meme That Got Hijacked
It's the story of a man. A man who went to war. And then went to college. And then decked a godless shithead professor. It's a feel-good story! And it went viral among God-fearing Murkans. And then Twitter got hold of it. And then it got really good.
Marines' Twitter: Don't Be a "Lone Shooter" on MLK Day, Bring a Buddy
The Marine Corps Special Operations Command's official Twitter account urged its followers Friday morning not to be "lone shooters" over a weekend dedicated to Martin Luther King Jr., who was killed by a lone rifleman. The Corps quickly and wisely deleted the tweet.
Marines Quietly Conclude That Women Sort of Suck at Doing Pullups
As the Marine Corps inches closer to permitting women into ground combat roles, the service is delaying its 2014 plan to require female Marines to do three pullups. The reason: Women haven't proven very good at the exercise so far.
Marines Finally Get Around to Banning Fashionable Hairstyles
Having busied itself of late with warfighting and such, the Marine Corps finally managed to pencil in some hygiene time this week, codifying a ban on "faddish" and "exaggerated" hairstyles among the troops. Meaning... what, exactly?
The First Four Women to Pass Marine Infantry Training Took This Selfie
This Instagram shows the new faces of Uncle Sam's Lean, Mean Green Killing Machine.
Marine Arrested for Arranging Incestuous Sex with Minors
U.S. Marine Stephen Lewis, a private first class stationed at Camp Pendleton in southern California, was arrested two weeks ago after arranging to have sex with an entire family: a man, his 12-year-old son, and his 11-year-old daughter. The only problem with this plan (aside from everything) was that he arranged for…
U.S. Marine Identified as Suspect in 'Random' Shooting Spree in Texas
An active-duty Marine named Esteban J. Smith has been identified as the suspect in a violent and apparently random series of shooting in West Texas.
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Faggot: Inside Marine Corps Boot Camp
What is Marine Corps boot camp really like? According to an email that a current recruit sent to a bunch of his friends, it's a lot of being called a "faggot" by your drill instructors. And, if you happen to be brown-skinned, a lot of being called "terrorist." Not to mention "beast mode" workouts.
