Emma Watson's love life is lacking. Lady Gaga'a bodyguard beats up a fan. Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth $150K. Chris Evans admits he is balding. Wednesday gossip intimidates men.

January Jones bitches about bitches. Kate Gosselin's marriage counselor is suing her. Paz de la Huerta bounces back from beating up a reality star. JWoww wants to have babies. TGIFriday gossip.

The Morning Joe gang (with bonus Mark Sanchez!) is bang up excited about Call of Duty. Except Mika, because the game "leaves her displeased." Hey gamers, you can now shoot Morning Joe from the safety of your mom's basement!

Snooki avoids spending the night in jail. Levi Johnston's ex-girlfriend denies he knocked her up. Casey Affleck has more trouble on his hands. Oh, and there's a big wedding happening today. It's time for a delayed installment of Saturday gossip.

It's how she celebrated the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Charlie Sheen's wife owns a sex swing. Kristen Stewart says she's not sulky. Meet LiLo's new best friend: Her 300-lb bodyguard. TGIFriday gossip.

Uma Thurman and Arki Busson kissing on a park bench ... Vera Wang standing outside Harry Cipriani on Fifth Avenue and 59th Street ... Whitney Port walking downtown ... Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez having dinner at Nobu 57 ... Sarah Jessica Parker walking son James to school ... Ashley Judd getting out of an SUV in…

RobPatz and Frowny Face ain't going nowhere. Jude Law kept his dick to himself for a night. John Travolta would rather not do your movie publicity. VH1's toning it down. Britney Spears: casting villain. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

• Last week Bette Midler was handing out dating tips to Jennifer Aniston. This week she's rolling with 50 Cent. Not only have the two become "unlikely best friends," but Bette says 50 has "really made my life worth living," and has been by her side "through thick and thin." She'd even like to sing backup on one of…