The New York Times detailed Jenny Sanford's ongoing rise to prosperity through her husband's infidelity. The article is actually a cleverly disguised guide to capitalizing off of your cheating, no good, dirtball politician husband who didn't even care enough to cover his tracks.

Step 1: Book deal. Per the Times: "She is writing a memoir, "Staying True," to be released in April by Ballantine Books, about grappling with her husband's marital infidelity." Not unprecedented by any means, though, granted, Elizabeth Edwards has a slightly higher profile than Ms. Sanford in addition to, you know, cancer. Make sure your book touches on themes of survival and—yes—resilience. Make sure the everywoman can relate to your struggle, even though the reality of your wealth and privilege makes your story otherwise totally inaccessible to most people who've been through what you have. Dina McGreevy definitely did it right, though. I mean, that cover!
Step 2: Trademark that shit. Elizabeth Edwards and Hillary Clinton made a misstep here. Like the old Spaceballs line, moichendising! The Times notes that Jenny Sanford's taking the smart step of trademarking her name, so she can sell "clothing, mugs, 'other household items,' stickers, decals, notepads." I can't wait until Jenny Sanford's Locate-A-Husband GPS Tracker (Now With International Capabilities!) hits stores. She already missed Black Friday, but I've got faith she can get this bad boy out in time for Christmas, so wives may spy on their "bad boys" everywhere.
Step 3: Barbara Walters. Always Barbara Walters. If you don't get your catharsis on with Barbara Walters, you don't get your membership card. And take a guess who made this year's list of Babs' Ten Most Fascinating People. Hint: It's not the transvestite who "peed" on Adam Lambert. Sure, there are other ways to get on TV: if you're Brian Grazer's ex-wife, just rewrite The First Wives' Club as a USA mini-series. But did she make the Times today? Nope.
Step 4: Web Presence. Once you lock down THE_REAL_JENNY_SANFORD, get rid of those pesky fake Twitter accounts, verify your own, set up your own website, and get music recommendations via @ by Questlove, you'll know you've equipped yourself for electronic success. Be viral, be with the people. Or as Miss Sanford would have it: "She has set up a privately financed personal Web site, complete with news releases and photographs." Nice. Silda, we still await your Tweets anxiously, so you can throw down the subtle RT on free throws like this.
Step 5: Get into politics. You've already proven you can deal with both sleazeballs and scandal. Anyone who says you're not ready for politics is clearly a moron. And the best way to start: by endorsing the candidate who's going to win your Pussyhound Husband's position after his constituency gives that tail-chaser the boot. "[Sanford] has endorsed a candidate to succeed her husband, State Representative Nikki Haley, a Republican and the only woman in the race." Just like that, you come off as both a strong feminist and a dedicated party-line driver, setting yourself up for political support further down the road, when you....
Step 6: Run for office. "Genius" is right.

Sanford sent the most embarrassing love letters in the world to his Argentinian mistress and has refused to resign despite the most blatant sex scandal ever.

The State Ethics Commission announced a probe today, but won't say what questions Sanford faces, The AP though, points out that it reported some underhand and potentially illegal activities related to the affair:

the governor violated bans on using state airplanes for personal and political purposes; opted for expensive first-class or business-class seats - actions that apparently violated rules requiring lowest-cost travel; and failed to disclose on ethics forms flights he took on private planes owned by donors and friends.

He may still be impeached by Republican legislators for bringing "extreme dishonor and shame" on the state. Which would be ironic as he called for Bill Clinton's impeachment when the Lewinsky affair came out.

During his tenure at the Late Show, Letterman's made mad bank on using public figures and their public disgraces as his "comedic" inspiration. There could be a book of his Clinton-inspired knee-slappers, like this one, "No move ever goes smoothly. Today Clinton's brand new desk arrived. He had to send it back, apparently not enough head room." Oh, ha! Monica Lewinsky blew Clinton while he was president. And now we learn that Letterman banged his lady underlings.

Letterman's admission makes us — and Howard Kurtz, sort of — wonder whether Letterman, who also admitted he'll do anything to protect his job, should be shamed as he's shamed others.

He's a famous, rich and, to some, charming man — the fact that he screwed staffers should raise serious ethical questions, like "Did he use his power and influence to take advantage of the women?" Even if he didn't do so intentionally, it's certainly possible that's the case and he's just as guilty as those he's lampooned. But perhaps we should give him some wiggle room here.

Although we're not in awe of how he handled this, we're surprisingly impressed by the amount of self-skewering he mustered while discussing the potential for embarrassment. That impression, however, was rapidly shattered when he revealed his "true" intentions: protect these women — oh, and his family, self and, again, his job.

The entire thing came off as more of a relatively humorous, if not laudatory, apology than a phony, manufactured plea for forgiveness. But isn't the former better than the latter, especially since he's been calling the kettle black this whole time? The audience certainly thinks so: they clapped and laughed and lapped up the entire bit.

Will the public — and, most importantly, CBS — do the same?

Like Dan Kearns! Dan Kearns is a construction worker from Florida, and because there is no construction in Florida anymore, he does not have very much to do. So he decided to rename himself "Snipe" and hike north on the trail with guys named "Angry Hippie" and "Dance Party." This is "a symbol" of either "a jobless recovery or of a still-deepening recession" and there are data that prove its a trend:

Typically, about 1,000 hikers leave Georgia each spring in hopes of completing the trail in one all-out trek. This year, trail monitors say, close to 1,400 hikers were in the first wave, with hundreds more following behind through early summer.

People who start at the bottom and hike up are called "NoBos," and people who do it the other way are called "SoBos." The Journal notes: "NoBos and SoBos are reminiscent of the hobos of the Great Depression, though there aren't so many of them this time."

"Hiking the Appalachian Trail" was invented by South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, and while there is a lot of talk of actual hiking through Virginia with modern-day ex-banker hobos or whatever it actually means secretly flying to Argentina to have sex with a woman who isn't your wife.

The California GOP Assemblyman came up on our radar yesterday, when a video surfaced of him bragging about his oozy trysts with a female lobbyist.

After reading over his lewd, yet unbelievably fascinating, remarks, we didn't expect him to have much dignity about the whole thing, but he's surprised us, for he resigned today.

I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.

A successful political resignation, such as this one, has three components. First, an acknowledgment of improper conduct, as seen in his admission "inappropriate" remarks. Second, it's good to mention a familial discussion. Voters want to at least pretend familial obligations — not public shaming — played a role in a once respected lawmaker's departure. Finally, and most importantly, a scapegoat, preferably, as seen above, the fact that the gossip and snickering has become a "distraction" from public duties.

So, hats off to you, Duvall, you sick braggard. Now, what will become of the lobbyist, Heidi DeJong Barsuglia, who, as Duvall recalled, loved describing how he dripped out of her. Ew!

KCAL9 offers the above video of Duvall's potty mouth, as caught on a hot mic, which are always trouble.

For those of you not wanting to watch it all, OC Weekly provides some of married, 54-year old, totally overweight and unattractive Duvall's raunchy ramblings, which he obviously didn't know were being recorded:

She wears little eye-patch underwear.... So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday—a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"

Ug. Please. That's disgusting. And what a bad example for younger politicians. Everyone knows you should always use a condom while exchanging liquids with lobbyists.

Some speculate the lobbyist in question is Heidi DeJong Barsuglia, who's 36 and works on behalf of Sempra Energy, a private company that often works with California's Committee on Utilities & Commerce, of which Duvall is vice chairman. Destiny practically threw them together!

Apparently everyone in town knew about the affair and Duvall, who loves conservative values, also has another lady on the side. The sad part is, it sounds like he may be getting laid more often than most of our close associates. What is the world coming to?

So, who's Kristin Maguire? She's South Carolina's former Board of Education Chairwoman and a big wig in the state's Republican party. She resigned from the board earlier today to deal with "family matters," a term that's long been a disgraced politico's go-to excuse. It used to work, but now people are hip to it and realize that something scintillating, perhaps even sinister, remains unseen. And, according to the admittedly biased FITSNews, that's precisely the case with Maguire. They claim that the mother of four home-schooled children vacated her seat because of her super-secret hobby: writing erotic fiction.

Yes, apparently there are some similarities between Maguire and a virtual alter ego, Bridget Keeney. Like what? Well, like age, number of children and their background in engineering. That's not much to go on, of course, but FITS claims to have seen documents proving Maguire discussed the matter with Sanford ahead of her resignation and that his administration helped her cover her trail. This wouldn't be a big deal, of course, except for the fact that — surprise! — Maguire was thick as thieves with the "family values" set. She even donated $1,300 to failed presidential candidate and rabid bigot Mike Huckabee last year.

Maguire wouldn't talk to the site, but made no effort to deny the claims. Nor did she address allegations that she and Sanford's chief of staff tried, together, like a family, to scrub the skin stories from the Internet. She did, however, tell FITS that she had been to some of the sites where Ms. Keeney's work was archived.

Of course, none of this comes as a surprise: it's part and parcel for the Republican party, a clan that once included Larry Craig, Mark Foley and, by way of ideological network, Ted Haggard. The Republicans have an unparalleled ability to bounce back from sex scandals. People forget. We, like, have the collective memory of a gold fish, but we wonder if, should the Maguire story gain traction and end up being absolutely, positively confirmed, the GOP can dust itself off from this sort of story.

First and foremost, Maguire's a woman. The most prominent Republican sex scandals involve men, who, we all know, are dogs and are at least forgiven for their sexual appetites, like that prostitute-hiring Senator, David Vitter. As for the gays, like Foley, they're quietly and quickly dropped in the political dust bin, like some long-lost uncle no one can quite remember.

But Maguire's femininity, coupled with her post as head of the state's education board, could force the GOP and its followers to confront two things at once: one, women's sexuality, a topic we're sure the right-wing does not want to discuss and, two, children. She long touted teaching abstinence and intelligent design in schools, a stance that made her popular with the right-wing set. Those same family values groups, one of the GOP's most loyal constituents, also have a long history of using children to induce panic when it comes to the gays, because homos can't control their rampant sexuality and then seduce and transform the nation's children.

It would be hard for those groups to ignore Maguire's alleged prose, like a tale entitled "Continental Cuisine," which features a woman blowing a man while his pal wanks one off. (Sample line: "The rhythmic sway of the train car added to the bobbing of my head as I sucked deeply.")

Another tale goes by the name, "Lauren's Masturbatory Musings." You can only imagine what that one concerns. Both are available at FITSNews' site and are quite tawdry, trashy and downright raunchy, which means they're great.

As much as we may love them, it will be interesting to see how the GOP and, more immediately, Sanford himself react to claims that he knew about this rubbish months ago. It's a bit sad, really: the Republicans have been trying with all their might to remake their image. This doesn't do them any favors, even if it's just an unfounded reminder of the party's previous carnal sins.

Image via stewf's flickr.

The "rumors" have been an open secret in South Carolina for a while, and obviously no one outside of South Carolina would ever care, at all, if it weren't for the fact that the Governor of South Carolina is still Latin Lover-lover Mark Sanford.

So now he definitely can't resign. Closeted gay Republicans have no place in South Carolina politics!

According to the AP, Sanford used state planes to fly his wife and children around for holidays and family vacations, attend his children's sporting events, make it to dentist and hair-styling appointments, attend GOP fundraisers and a birthday party for a political donor, among other things, at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars to South Carolina taxpayers. Interestingly, the state's ethics laws make using state resources for personal gain a criminal offense, punishable with a $5000 fine and up to 5 years in prison.

Of course, none of this matters, even if all of these allegations prove to be true, because South Carolina's Republican lieutenant governor is rumored to be gay and there's no way the state's network of good ole boys are going to risk that embarrassment, so they'll probably figure out some way for Sanford to run the state from a federal prison if they have to.

Before we get into the reckless speculation, some background from the Rush and Malloy item detailing the tales of gubernatorial sex provided by a hooker named "Annie," who also serviced Eliot Spitzer back in the day. She says that the first time she met the mystery governor was on a date with a client named "Michael":

"We went to a restaurant where the governor was dining at another table with two or three other men. Michael said the governor was a client of his. He introduced me to him. I thought it was odd that he'd introduce someone he'd hired, but the governor was very gracious. It was a brief meeting. Later, Michael and I went to an apartment our agency kept. We had sex.

"A couple of days later, Michael booked another appointment. He was supposed to come to the same apartment. I buzzed him in. When I opened the door, it wasn't Michael. It was the governor. He was smiling. I knew what was happening. I was okay with it.

"He was a very standard client. He didn't take the full hour. There was no exchange of money. Michael handled the payment.

"I had two more dates with the governor. Never in public. Always for just an hour, around dinner time. He'd arrive at the apartment in a suit. I never had a problem with him, like I did with Spitzer. He was always nice. There wasn't a lot of conversation. It wasn't a girlfriend experience, but he was relaxed. He was very appreciative, like I was giving him a sort of affection he wasn't getting elsewhere. Later I found out he was married. His wife is quite prominent in her own right."

So, if the story told by Annie is true, there's another hooker-nailing governor running around out there. Even worse, he may have accepted sex with a prostitute as a gift from a lobbyist. Now, taking into consideration what we've learned from "Annie," that the mystery governor is a man who is married to a "prominent" woman, let's take a few educated guesses as to who this may be and assign some Vegas-style odds as we go.


Arnold Schwarzenegger (10-1) Knowing everything that we know, that Arnold's wife is indeed "prominent" and that he's a noted lover of ass, Arnold is an obvious front-runner in this contest. However, what he does have in potential hooker-nailing credentials he lacks in geographical proximity, otherwise he's probably be a 2-1 or 3-1 favorite, though Arnold has made trips to New York during his time as governor of California.


Ed Rendell (15-1) The thought of Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell having sex is utterly horrifying, so he's one we'd rather not even think about. However, he's only a hour or so away from New York City by train and his wife, Marjorie Rendell, is a federal judge who sits on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, so he sort of makes sense.


Jim Gibbons (25-1) The Nevada governor's wife divorced the Republican after she busted him for carrying on with the wife of a Reno doctor, which she claims was only one of many affairs he had during their marriage. A few months after the divorce, Gibbons made news for stepping out with Playboy model Leslie Durant. So yeah, outside of the geographical proximity disadvantage thing, Gibbons is an obvious candidate. But with all of that said, aren't there hookers in Nevada he could have sex with, you know, legally?


Deval Patrick (50-1) The governor of Massachusetts, whose wife is a "prominent" attorney, appears to be quite spry for a 52 year-old man. And like Rendell, he's not that far away.


Tim Pawlenty (75-1) The Minnesota governor is considered by many to be a potential candidate for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, thus he merits consideration. Period.


Mark Sanford (100-1) Sanford, a former Wall Streeter with roots in New York, obviously loves to bone women not named Jenny Sanford, but he seems to be more of a lovey affair-haver. The fact that "Annie" said that this governor wasn't interested in talking or a "girlfriend experience" all but eliminates him. Sanford would definitely want to talk about his feelings. And cuddle.


Bobby Jindal (500-1) There's actually no way we could ever conceive of the Louisiana governor sexing with whores (We tend to think of him as an amoeba...he just splits in order to reproduce), but we had to throw him in here, just because.


Charlie Crist (1,000,000-1) There's just no way.


If there are any potential whore-mongering candidates we've missed that you feel strongly about, feel free to offer your own suggestions in the comments.

Eliot Spitzer Not My Only Governor Says Hooker Who Worked For Kristin Davis [Daily News]
pic via

We'd hate to be Maria Belen Chapur about now. Her heart once swelled with pure angel-kissed amor for the *ahem* handsome American hombre. Theirs was a transcendent love detailed in Mark Sanford's by now widely read lovemails. Now, it's "wrong," a "funeral," a "misfortune," a "failure." Them's the dangers of dating Republican, Maria. They're just not that into you...once they're discovered.

So, Mark Sanford has ditched MBC to lead the righteous life of quoting scripture, fake-smiling next to his wife, and groveling in the mud for public forgiveness.

A few soundbites:

I have struggled with how best to convey my regret in letting so many down, and in that regard I realize this op-ed does not do justice to the process of saying "I am sorry."

...

It is true that I did wrong and failed at the largest of levels, but equally true is the fact that God can make good of our respective wrongs in life. In this vein, while none of us has the chance to attend our own funeral, in many ways I feel like I was at my own in the past weeks, and surprisingly I am thankful for the perspective it has afforded.

...

In this regard I think all that has transpired will be particularly relevant in the way I deal with the legislative body and other state leaders going forward. Micah 6:8 asks us to do justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly, and as I begin these steps into the last 18 months of this administration, it will indeed be with a more contrite and humble spirit.

...

Finally it is at your funeral that you in many ways not only can see most clearly the things that really matter in life, but where one gets the best glimpse of who your real friends are – and how much they matter. For that reason, I want to thank so many for their kindnesses and support over the years and for their kindness in this latest chapter in our book together as South Carolinians.

[via WCBD]

South Carolina's The State has once again put the state's open records law to excellent use by getting a hold of more obsequious e-mails from exclusive-hungry reporters to Sanford's press secretary during his disappearance, including a doozy from ABC News' Jake Tapper (click the image for a closer look):

At the time, no one knew exactly where Sanford was, and the Argentinian Connection had not yet been revealed. Tapper was engaging in the age-old reporters' practice of trashing the competition to official gatekeepers in the hopes that said gatekeepers will be goaded into believing that you are "on their side" and and will therefore be the best choice for their client/principal to talk to. Needless to say, the only side Tapper was on is his own. Never believe anything a reporter ever says to you.

The "slimy" spot in question did little else aside from report (gullibly) Sanford's staff's contention that the governor was hiking the Appalachian Trail, recount the previous conflicting explanations for his absence, and raise perfectly reasonable questions—questions that we're sure Tapper himself had—about Sanford's political prospects in light of his strange behavior. There was nothing "insulting" about it.

Tapper followed up with another e-mail, tattling on NBC News's David Gregory for writing about Sanford on Twitter:

Politico reached Tapper for comment about the e-mails:

Busted. In retrospect, the story I was referring to wasn't slimy enough — at that moment the only ones who knew of the governor's affair were Sanford, his wife, his mistress, and the State newspaper. But I shouldn't have said that, and I'll try to leave the media criticism to others from now on.

Good idea! We've e-mailed Mike Viqueira, the NBC News reporter whose spot Tapper trashed, for comment. We were all like, "Tapper's a total tool, I can't believe what he wrote about you! You should totally respond to Gawker. Also-FYI!—he's Tweeting about it. Slimy!" We'll let you know if we hear back.

South Carolina's The State used the state's open records law to obtain the e-mail, along with hundreds of others flying in and out of the governor's office as his staff frantically worked to figure out where he was last month.

Other e-mails released by the state include the Washington Post's Chris Cillizza asking Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer: "Dude, is everything OK?" after being told, preposterously, that Sanford's office wouldn't release details of his location for security reasons. Sawyer responded: "Yep. Slow news day." Reporters for Fox News and the Washington Times, naturally, assuring Sanford a friendly venue if he would speak to them first. Hey, if Stephen Colbert can do it, why can't they? A Fox News correspondent whom the paper doesn't name—nor did it post a copy of the e-mail—wrote:

Having known the Governor for years and even worked with him when he would host radio shows for me - I find this story and the media frenzy surrounding it to be absolutely ridiculous! Please give him my best.

Totally ridiculous.

[Via Talking Points Memo.]

Hiking the Appalachian Trial This evocative phrase can mean anything done instead one's official duties. It also implies that you are skipping work to cry for days with your soul mate, in Argentina.

That Whole Sparking Thing What a wonderful euphemism for sleeping with that special someone who is, as far as your romantic partner knows, "just a friend"! That moment when you give up all pretense of innocent platonic friendship and just go for it is indeed a special time in the dissolution of every man's marriage.

Crossed Lines This is a splendid example of the art of digging yourself a deeper hole. Feel free to use it if you are trying to make your background sound sexy and exciting without having to admit to anything specific, or if you just want to be vague, once again, to your partner about your romantic history!

Only Dead Fish Go With the Flow This, apparently, is Christian dogwhistling, yes, but it is also a really great way to paint your complete abdication of your responsibilities as the proactive decision of a maverick. Only a dead fish would keep governing Alaska after two years on the job! A vibrant leader of tomorrow would buck the system and randomly quit for no good reason in the middle of her term! (Also: live fish swim both up and downstream, all the time, we are pretty sure.)

A Pattern of Generosity The John Ensign sex scandal has, thus far, not presented as many idiomatic gifts as the scandals of Palin and Sanford. But there are nuggets of gold. This phrase, our humble suggestion for a new euphemism, comes from Ensign's lawyer's statement on the payments made by Ensign to the husband of the woman he slept with for a year. In the letter, the lawyer claims the payments were made by Ensign's parents, out of the kindness of their own hearts, and not by Ensign himself, out of his campaign or Senate funds, acting on orders from Tom Coburn. So go ahead and say you bought those drugs or paid that woman to keep quiet as part of your long "pattern of generosity" next time you're caught possibly misusing funds!

Honorable mention: "The biggest self of self is self."
"I know that I know that I know"
"If I die, I die."

Reports The State:

The GOP's executive committee options were:

• Ask the governor to resign

• Reprimand the governor in a formal, nonbinding resolution

• Do nothing

• Or support the governor

Twenty-two committee members voted for a reprimand, 10 called for his resignation, while nine voted to support the governor.

What a bunch of losers. Are they that afraid that the Lt. Governor might be a gay? Well, yeah!

But the bigger loser, despite the fact that he's barely holding on to his job, is Mark Sanford. This guy had the death of a once in a generation American icon, the deaths of numerous other high-profile celebrities, not to mention a freaking serial killer on the loose in his state, perfectly timed to make his pathetic Harlequin romance story disappear from the media radar, and yet he still couldn't shut his pie-hole and make the whole thing just go away quietly.

Congrats South Carolina! You all may not be his "soul mate," but you're the ones shacked up with him, so you guys, ugh, won. By the grace of Jesus, no doubt. Yeehaw!

State Republicans Censure Sanford [The State]

James Frey's new sci-fi series has landed a publisher. HarperCollins Children's Books will handle North America for I Am Number Four, the first part in a six-installment book series about space teenagers who hide out on Earth because there's shit going down on their planet. Frey's writing partner, recent Columbia MFA grad Jobie Hughes, will actually do most of the writing, Frey's just the guy who came up with the idea. And, you know, got the thing sold. DreamWorks has already optioned the book and Michael Bay is interested. [NYT]

A blogger, like for the internet, has sold a book! And guess what! It's not based on a blog! Wonkette editor Ken Layne will go through HarperStudio to have his travelogue-cum-social theory tome The Left Coast published. Here's the blurb: "Ken Layne's THE LEFT COAST is a history of California's culture, environment and politics framed by his bravely idiotic solo hike up the entire 1,000-mile coastline of America's weirdest, most populous state." Sounds interesting! [HS]

Poor disgraced Argentinian loveboy Mark Sanford will not be publishing his planned second book. The South Carolina governor was set to roll out a book called Within Our Means about spending money like good right winger, but now that it's been revealed that both his heart and penis are functioning properly, he is no longer qualified to talk about anything ever again. [Time]

That whole unauthorized sequel to Catcher in the Rye was blocked by a judge when J.D. Salinger sued because a) he's a crank and b) he was right, but now the defense lawyer for Coming Through the Rye has said they'll appeal. So it'll all go on forever. [GalleyCat]

Bennett is identified only as a "conservative talk radio host and CNN contributor," which makes him sound like David Brody or something. He is a former Secretary of Education and Drug Czar! Also he is a known high-stakes gambler who lost literally millions in Vegas! This from a man who wrote The Book of Virtures and who moralizes nonstop about self-discipline and "the Moral Collapse of the American Family." It was a little bit embarrassing, for Bill!

But CNN does not bring any of this up. They just report that Bill thinks South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford should "ditch politics and focus solely on getting his life back in order." Maybe he should become a CNN contributor! Then no one would have to hear about his various moral failings ever again. Except that he would probably just bring them up himself all the time, because he's a weirdo who can't stop digging.

Of all the things to love about this video, and there is much to love about it, the best thing may be that Andy Cobb, the guy playing Mark Sanford who also wrote and directed the video, bears a striking resemblance to Mark Sanford! Anyway, enjoy.

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