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New York, 3:41 PM
Wed Dec 2
56 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #markebner more →

    Reporter Rounds Up Hollywood's Most Wanted Celebrity Burglar

    Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick

    Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book

    For Free: Most X-Rated Parts Of X-Rated Book

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    11/05/09

    In reply to Reporter Rounds Up Hollywood's Most Wanted Celebrity Burglar
    Adam Sandler as Johnnie Dangerous? What do you think? #johnnydangerousajar
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    11/04/09

    In reply to Reporter Rounds Up Hollywood's Most Wanted Celebrity Burglar
    Johnny Drama. #johnnydangerousajar
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    11/04/09

    In reply to Reporter Rounds Up Hollywood's Most Wanted Celebrity Burglar
    That picture killed the tank dress for every single Spring '10 collection. #johnnydangerousajar
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of MincnglyWhrdL'mer MincnglyWhrdL'mer
    04/04/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    gawker has seriously lowered the bar for 'lothario' with this one.
     Reply
    MincnglyWhrdL'mer was starred MincnglyWhrdL'mer was unstarred
    Image of scarletmenace scarletmenace
    04/04/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Judging from the bulges in his long underwear, however, this douche is packing a serious cock-and-ball story.
     Reply
    scarletmenace was starred scarletmenace was unstarred
    Image of MincnglyWhrdL'mer MincnglyWhrdL'mer
    04/04/09

    @scarletmenace: possibly his only good feature
     Reply
    MincnglyWhrdL'mer was starred MincnglyWhrdL'mer was unstarred
    Image of Alexandra90210 Alexandra90210
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Did anyone watch that awful show? I watched one episode and couldn't get all the way through it. Too many shit gags about high colonics and his incessant whining just turned me off.
     Reply
    Alexandra90210 was starred Alexandra90210 was unstarred
    Image of maevemealone maevemealone
    04/04/09

    @Alexandra90210: I watched a few minutes of it but had to change it when he went on too long polling his crew on the state of their chest mucous. Baffling...
     Reply
    maevemealone was starred maevemealone was unstarred
    Image of Mediahohoho Mediahohoho
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Years go by and I still have no problem believing he's still single.
     Reply
    Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Before my time.


    Must be old.


    Fuckin' olds.

     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of mladen mladen
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Well, if the show gets some numbers, I guess we could be looking at the next Sal and Dean whenever there's a meeting about On The Road.


    On a more serious note - Young Bardians, here's an example for you. When I was there the school averaged a half-dozen pretty serious suicide attempts per academic year (not counting buffoonery like the time Ebner got on the roof of Kline Commons and threatened to jump off) and one or two "successes." So the point is, kids, don't jump off a cliff or grab some pills - just hang in there and in about 30 years Showtime will come through with some paychecks.


    Then you come back to campus and Botstein (who will certainly still be there in 2039) mutters stuff about honorary degrees. OK, forget that part.

     Reply
    mladen was starred mladen was unstarred
    Image of Mark Ebner Mark Ebner
    04/03/09

    @mladen: Correction: I never threatened to jump off Kline Commons; I mock-crucified myself from the gutter. See you at our old school in May, where - this many years later - I'll be addressing the 2009 graduating class at Botstein's President's Dinner.
     Reply
    Mark Ebner was starred Mark Ebner was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    04/04/09

    @Mark Ebner: Sorry but, have you succeeded at something?
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of MarkEbner MarkEbner
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    Hi Gabriel! Road Trips are fun. Airing: Thursdays, 11:30pm, on Showtime.
     Reply
    MarkEbner was starred MarkEbner was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    04/04/09

    @MarkEbner: Wash your hands before you comment here, honey. You've been around cooties.
     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of Agador Spartacus Agador Spartacus
    04/03/09

    In reply to Eric Schaeffer Still Working His Worst-Douche-in-the-World Shtick
    The Original DoucheTM!


    I find this oddly comforting.

     Reply
    Agador Spartacus was starred Agador Spartacus was unstarred
    Image of jrhys jrhys
    04/03/09

    @are friends electric?: Me too.
     Reply
    jrhys was starred jrhys was unstarred
    Image of SarahHeartburn SarahHeartburn
    04/04/09

    @jrhys: Why? Do you find it comforting when the odd case of polio shows up now and then?
     Reply
    SarahHeartburn was starred SarahHeartburn was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    01/23/09

    In reply to Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book
    Ebner fan then; Ebner fan now.
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of The Real JR The Real JR
    01/23/09

    In reply to Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book
    Ok, the grandmother's funeral stuff sounds like gold. I would pay for that footage. ok, only up to $5 but still.
     Reply
    The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred
    Image of miss_msry miss_msry
    01/23/09

    In reply to Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book
    So what this book reveals is that Paris Hilton is the highest paid hooker in the Universe?
     Reply
    miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred
    Image of Wrapitup Wrapitup
    01/23/09

    In reply to Paris Hilton Is Basically a Racist Porn Star, Says New Book
    Wha??? My all-time personal hero and role model is a racist?? This is as bad as the time that I found that Mother Teresa starved her nuns.

    Now I know how all the Jezzies felt when Moe defended date-rape. I am devastated. Wow, I have a lot of blond wigs and chihuahuas to throw out.
     Reply
    Wrapitup was starred Wrapitup was unstarred
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