Advertising and restaurant executives point to several reasons that neither campaign was a hit. The bizarre red wig commercials were too much of a departure from Wendy's folksy brand; the apple was not a strong enough image to represent Applebee's. It is unlikely, though, that either one would have been ended so quickly in better economic times.

Instead, both marketers have opted for a more recession-proof approach: glamour shots of food that are intended to make mouths water and prompt consumers to reach for their wallets.

THEY WILL BE MISSED. Wait; no.

[NYT; disclosure: I once worked with Doug Quenqua, author of this article.]

"It is known that everybody does it, but they protest," Dangin said recently. "The people who complain about retouching are the first to say, 'Get this thing off my arm.' " I mentioned the Dove ad campaign that proudly featured lumpier-than-usual "real women" in their undergarments. It turned out that it was a Dangin job. "Do you know how much retouching was on that?" he asked. "But it was great to do, a challenge, to keep everyone's skin and faces showing the mileage but not looking unattractive."

Why, that would make Dove a bunch of rank hypocrites! A spokeswoman for Dove's ad agency tells Ad Age that "We are unsure right now what he did," and adds:

"There was no retouching of the women," she said. "If there was a hair that was up in the air, that might have been the kind of retouching that was done. But until I know what he actually worked on, I can't comment on it."

If only for the excessive amount of self-righteousness that accompanied the PR effort surrounding this ad campaign, let's sincerely hope these retouching allegations are true.

Examples of MTV's work in this regard include several different "C.S.I. Guys" spots for Dunkin Donuts and Papa John's, and a three and a half minute long film about a young designer that is actually a Target ad.

Dario Spina, who handles the same job for MTV's entertainment channels like Comedy Central and Spike, said of countering the digital video recorder, "That's the idea here; we want to blur the lines between the commercial breaks and the entertainment content."

...

"Viewers keep watching right through the commercial," Mr. Spina said, adding that "good commercial content is good content."

Here's an idea: how about keeping ads clunky, boring, and easily skippable? Bad ads—or even just traditional ones—are very straightforward. They make a sales pitch. They offer information. It's quite simple to delineate them from the regular programming.

More entertaining and engaging ads are the work of the devil. The editorial- advertising divide is a good thing, even in its warped and watered-down television entertainment version. Enhanced product placement, which brings ads into shows, and more "podbusting," which brings shows into ads, add up to nothing but ads all the time. The takeover will soon be complete!

Please keep our television commercials in neat little blocks, so that we can get up and go to the bathroom while they are on, or, if we have the proper technology, skip them altogether. This whole "great ads that you want to watch just cause they're so great" is a huge backlash waiting to happen. It was also the business model of Firebrand.com, which went out of business despite a preponderance of nakedness.

We, as a society, have a social compact with television advertisers. We grumble about your sucky ads, and do everything we can to skip over them. But in the end we still buy your products. Everybody's happy. Start mixing up the shows and the ads too much, and people will get angry. That's when the revolution comes.

Well, probably not. But please don't make these fancy ads. Thank you.

[pic via Adbusters]

"Well, Bob, what a great day for the commonwealth of Kentucky and the world. On behalf of Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, Long John Silver's and A&W, Yum Brands is the proud sponsor of the greatest event in the world. Thank you very much," he said, ticking off Yum's brand names.

By the time Mr. Novak spoke, though, bloggers, reporters and NBC itself were already telling of the collapse of Eight Belles, who broke down after finishing second and was euthanized.

Online commenters pilloried Yum for its seeming insensitivity.

"Based on the YUM reps' disgraceful smiling and product plugging — while Eight Belles was dying yards away from them — I'll never buy ANY of their products again," wrote one.

"I'm happy that the CEO of Yum is just smiling and not even caring that a horse was just killed on the track," wrote another.

[NYT]

Strange to say, these are not good ads precisely because they are so good. The point of a commercial is to make the viewer fall in love with the product, in this case the hot cars Avis is pimping. But the viewers of these commercials are more likely to give their affections to the product's victims, for it is from their point of view that the narrative has been presented.

While Avis's intention is, no doubt, to advance its corporate fortunes through these commercials, the image the ads project is less than flattering. Avis comes across as the supplier of temptation, the enabler of seduction, a corporate madame. Its stable of "hot cars" lure men and women to default on their responsibilities, to throw away the tried and true, to surrender to the meretricious glitter of the new. But these wiles are defeated by the sympathy we are made to feel for those who have been harmed by them.

Who would have thought that in the early years of the 21st century, advertising would give us a morality tale of such power?

Sorry Stanley. You're not quite ready for the Bobosphere.

I say that from a position of ignorance, because I've never bothered to explore upstate NY much. Primarily because I'm convinced that it sucks. That makes me the target audience for this campaign! So how are they pulling skeptical people away from the confines of the city?

The twist comes in using the powerful appeal of the city to woo visitors to other locales, which is encapsulated in the phrase "The state with the heart of the city."

For instance, an ad for New York vineyards asserts that the wine "has to be just as good as what the city offers."

In other words: Why not drive way the hell upstate so you can have some wine that you could've gotten anywhere in your own neighborhood? We promise that we're trying to make it just as good as what you have at home.

Pass.

Why not just stay in Brooklyn? It's the place you can do everything, "from taking a rollercoaster ride, sunning on the beach, and seeing a dolphin show in Coney Island to exploring one of the world's best Egyptian collections at the Brooklyn Museum of Art." Hey, I love New York!

Coach, along with an industry trade group, had a PR firm develop a program designed to get college kids to join an anti-counterfeiting campaign. They put together a packet of materials to pass to colleges to help them develop the curriculum for a PR class, and a company like Coach would foot the bill. Hunter College signed on, and the school's president pushed a teacher into teaching the class, against his wishes.

More specifically, some faculty at Hunter, part of the City University of New York system, see the class as an example of corporate encroachment on campus and criticize the school's administration, which allegedly demanded that the Coach-sponsored program be offered as a class. Critics claim the motive was to butter up Coach's CEO, Lew Frankfort, a Hunter alumnus, who several months later donated $1 million to the school.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the class ended up developing a PR campaign that featured fake fliers posted around campus promoting a sob story of a fake girl named "Heidi Cee," who had purportedly lost a Coach bag that an ex-boyfriend now serving in Iraq had given her. The class made a fake blog and fake Facebook and MySpace profiles for "Heidi." The blog is impressively overwrought and intricate, with a bunch of posts about her supposedly spontaneous anti-counterfeiting campaign interspersed with typical college student (fake) blog crap. Here, she gets interested in the cause:

U should google the International AntiCounterfeiting Coalition... its where I learned most of this stuff. The have pictures that show you how to tell a real from a fake. They have a bunch of other companies that have joined the cause... lol kinda ironic, but COACH is on the list too!

LOL that is the people who iz paying to sponsor ur fake class and ur fake blog, LOL! Full disclosure sux!

Pretty lowdown and dirty, overall. Read the whole piece at Adweek right now, and then go buy some counterfeit Coach bags in retribution.

You go to the site. Do you like boys or girls? Click one. Dramatic music swells up. A film starts: a beautiful woman, bathing in the ocean, with, it must be said, a rather revealing outfit. She strides towards you. She wants your gum! You place it in her mouth, and she is happy:

She moves towards you. What's this—she wants to see your webcam? You turn it on. Now you're supposed to kiss her!

The site freezes; its dirty little electronic self is waiting for evidence from your webcam that you are actually leaning in and kissing the screen! That's when I turned it off. I don't like Mentos that much. But please, feel free to try it and report back. I think this may be asking a bit much of even the most bored breath mint aficionados.

?

Kraft's feedback from consumers indicated their food "wasn't easy enough." So they're rolling out a big marketing campaign to unveil fantastic new obesity generators in their product line:

Take, for example, Cool Whip, which comes in a large tub that must be kept in the freezer. Consumers didn't want to have to take that trying trip to the freezer every time they wanted a dollop, so they'd either skip the topping or went with a canned brand. Kraft's solution: a Cool Whip aerosol, so consumers can reach into the fridge and easily squeeze out a topper for their cookie, brownie or piece of fruit.

There's also frozen cheese-filled bagels, a newer, easier way to pull cheese slices out of the package, and "Goldfish Mac N' Cheese crackers, shaped like macaroni noodles but in cracker form." And what about those new single-serving packets of Jell-O powder—just add to milk and stir in. It's educational!

Janet Myers, senior director-Kraft Kitchens, said the product is aimed at moms who want to make after-school snacks for their kids without having to wait for the Jell-O to congeal in the fridge. There is, however, some work involved in the preparation — but, luckily, the kids can do it. "They like the interactivity of the stirring," she said, noting that the individual packs aid in portion control.

[via Ad Age—and a special shout out to reporter Emily Bryson York for achieving a reasonable level of disdain in her tone in this story. Well done.]

CARRIE
2 ounces Skyy vodka
1 ounce X-Rated Fusion Liqueur
2 ounces cranberry juice
3/4 ounce sparkling apple cider
Shake Skyy, X-Rated and cranberry with ice and strain into chilled martini glass. Top with cider and garnish with a thin apple slice.

"Enjoy this cocktail over lunch or after work with your girlfriends to relax and kick off your Manolo Blahnik heels."

MIRANDA
2 ounces Skyy vodka
3/4 ounce Campari
2 ounces pomegranate juice
1 ounce Triple Sec
Squeeze of lemon
Shake with ice and strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lemon wheel.

Notes: "As Miranda would say, 'Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle of Duane Reade Drugs.' This hint of bitterness can be found in Miranda's cocktail but is softened by the sweet touches that make Miranda so loveable."

CHARLOTTE
2 ounces Skyy vodka
2 ounces pink lemonade
1 ounces Triple Sec
1/2 ounce Midori Melon liqueur
Shake with ice and strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with an edible flower.

Notes: "Charlotte's signature cocktail starts off a bit conservative, but then leaves them something for the imagination."

SAMANTHA
2 1/2 ounces Skyy vodka
1 1/2 ounces Cabo Wabo Anejo tequila
1 ounce simple syrup
1 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice
Shake with ice and strain into chilled martini glass. Rim glass with mixture of salt and small amount of white pepper. No garnish.

Notes: "Samantha definitely speaks her mind and reminds us that we all have a wild side waiting to be revealed."

In this case, "wild side" means reckless sexual behavior.

Drink up and party like a TV star might if she existed!

None of us are suggesting that you immediately run out and buy a Hyundai or any other car. I know I am not. My point in doing the commercial is that IF you need a car at least buy one that has cash back and zero percent financing. And it is a reminder that a good car doesn't always come with a high price tag. All of the "gurus" agreed on those points.

I'll tell you what all the "gurus" agreed on: your personal finance situation will be greatly enhanced by starring in Hyundai commercials. Here's Larry's commercial—is he suggesting you run out and buy this crappy car or what?

[via Galleycat]

Visitors are able to determine their personal flavor profiles with the help of a five-question quiz, and they can request free samples before committing to a purchase.

"We want to make people understand that if you tried one [blend] and you didn't like it, it wasn't the right blend for you," said Ms. Pinero. "That doesn't mean the whole brand isn't right for you."

My flavor profile is Breakfast Blend!

Plus there's barista art (!!!), like this:

To promote the book, Mr. Frey will eschew typical bookstore readings for events at rock venues. He will appear at the Blender Theater in New York, Whisky A Go Go in L.A., and Slim's in San Francisco. At each venue, he will have music and a light show, with images from "Wives, Wheels, Weapons" projected on a screen while he reads. At the San Francisco and L.A. readings, local heavy metal bands will perform.

Members of the Hell's Angels will handle security at the events, in what Mr. McWhinnie described as an allusion to the infamous 1969 concert at the Altamont Speedway, in which fighting between members of the crowd and the Angels led to one fan's being stabbed to death. Presumably Mr. Frey will not attempt to carry the historical echo that far, but who knows? Perhaps he can stage an altercation and use it as grist for his next book.

[NY Sun]

Vanity Fair's Miley Cyrus shoot

Calvin Klein's 1980 Brooke Shields Ads, when she was 15

Calvin Klein's 1995 Child Porn-like ad campaign

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens' 'High School Lolita' spread in GQ

Flat Out Weird Clarica Investment Advisors ad, featuring gratuitous jailbait

The rules make it an offense to blog, use brand ambassadors or seed viral ads while "falsely representing oneself as a consumer." They also apply to bloggers who fail to disclose they have accepted money to write about a product.

This is not of course, happening in the US. But maybe bloggers should rethink their opinions about accepting free shit in return for positive reviews. Word of mouth marketing online is big business here, but most companies and their marketing agencies are smart enough to realize already that disclosure can save them a world of scandal and bad PR.

So far the exact penalties haven't been spelled out, and it will likely take a test case, reported to the Office of Fair Trading and prosecuted, to make clear the size of the penalty and whether jail time is really likely.

Flogging?

Also, here we gratuitously bring up once again Edelman's famous fake Wal-Mart blog. If only it had happened after May 26, and in the UK.

[Ad Age]

—Any gain in body fat of more than 5% will result in this contract being void.

—Trips to fast food outlets in excess of one per week will result in this contract being void.

—Publicized drug use will result in this contract being void.

—Photos showing spokesperson driving with kids not restrained by child safety seats will result in this contract being void.

—The release of a new album that sucks will result in this contract being void.

—On stage performances featuring a zombified spokesperson who is clearly too drugged out of her mind to perform the necessary dance moves will result in this contract being void.

—The spokesperson's inevitable regression towards her natural body composition will result in this contract being void.

—Discovery that our spokesperson is in fact Britney Spears, a danger to herself and others, will result in this contract being void.

—How about we just give you two free personal trainers and reap the free publicity instead?

(Confidential to Britney: These people don't care about your health. Drop them immediately in favor of this:)

[pics via Daily Mail UK]

A riveting memoir, Hiding In Hip Hop, uncovers a hidden and well-known unspoken secret. Deep within the confines of Hip-Hop is a prominent gay sub-culture. A world that industry insiders are keenly aware of, but choose to ignore. From the testosterone of men striving to be on top and in control, to the "by any means necessary" bravado in an industry that thrives on power, homosexuality is a reality at nearly every level of Hip-Hop.

What's really surprising is that hip hop has managed to keep the identities of its gay people officially secret for this long. Rap has been big business and big money for a long time, but unlike in Hollywood—where gossip hounds have essentially uncovered the gay celebrities, who are then allowed to go about their business—the rap industry still feels that being openly gay could jeopardize an artist's career for good. Tom Cruise hasn't lost work because of the gay rumors surrounding him; Jay-Z surely would. It's a barrier that everyone remains afraid to cross. A rapper who started out as openly gay could theoretically make a career in hip hop, but it would not be a mainstream one. Even today, fostering the twin images of sex lord and crime lord are the most reliable way that MCs propel themselves into superstardom. Though this is changing (see Kanye), it's a long way from changed.

So when Hiding In Hip Hop comes out on May 13—assuming that it does out some identifiable figures in hip hop, and that it is reliable—the fallout will be fascinating to watch. I would expect immediate denials, and private reprisals from anyone named. But the real gay rappers, whoever they are, would be wise to stand up and be counted for the first time. They would go down in history for something much bigger than mediocre album sales. And the marketing opportunities would be enough to relaunch a flagging career, albeit in a slightly more bohemian arena.

If Del tha Funkee Homosapien came out as gay, no one would care. If a hardcore rapper like, say, Fat Joe came out, people would be surprised. But if one of the usual suspects like Kanye or Puffy came out, they would be positioned to use their already-deep resources to continue their careers as trailblazers. So a bit of advice to whoever may be named in the book (assuming it's true): Don't be the mad rapper. When you're dead and gone, one small step you took towards toning down the homophobia in hip hop would be worth much more than your music. And if you are Puffy, your music always sucked anyways. So go for it!

(And if anyone happens to get their hands on the book before May 13, email us.)

"What I tell every single owner is that the key to rehab and longevity is the right kind of exercise," the founder of a wellness and weight loss clinic for dogs, Jessica Waldman, said. "The wrong kind of exercise is uncontrolled play."

Fetching and frolicking — that kind of uncontrolled play? Isn't that exactly what most dogs need more of? "Oh no. No, no," Ms. Waldman, a vet, said. She has her canine clients running obstacle courses and jogging on an underwater treadmill. And then there's pooch Pilates — formerly known as "begging."

"When you teach a dog to beg, meaning you ask them to sit up, that's core abdominals," Ms. Waldman said. To further strengthen and tone, "We teach them how to go into sort of a 'down dog,' where their head is down toward the ground but their rear legs are up high."

Hopefully, she will be eaten by hungry dogs. Below is a video news release for Slentrol featuring one chubby pooch. Better diet idea: feed your dog less crap.

Greatest Hits: Smoking Is Terrorism

At Least It Helped Literacy In Spain

Scary Foreshadowing By Pakistani Airlines

Nature Has 9-11 Too!

MTV Is Concerned About Hunger As Well As 9-11

She describes herself as "Andy Warhol's Number One Publicity Protege," and she has parlayed her connection with the pop artist into a successful career. She worked at Interview Magazine and CBS Records before founding her own firm, and today she's one of the city's go-to agencies for celebrities. She even helped take Usher "to another level"! So there's that. There's no doubt she's much more likely to help launch Dupre on her own career than to serve as a solid grey corporate well between her and the media, a role Eliot Spitzer's own chosen PR firm is well suited to play.

Also, as Emily Gould discovered, Susan Blond has wild hair. And she's had her web domain name snatched by incompetent rival superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian, putting her in bad company.

We have an email in to SBI to find out what they plan to do for Dupre, and we'll let you know if we hear back.

*Also notable: the Blackberry brand increased in value by almost 400% over the past year. Scary.

[via Millward Brown/ Ad Age]

In the 1990s, when the Marines Corps was having trouble reaching recruitment goals, it ran a scattering of ads in magazines like Seventeen and Sports Illustrated for Women, using tag lines like "You can look at models, or you can be one" and "Get a makeover that's more than skin deep." That outreach "wasn't as sophisticated as it is now," said Jay Cronin, management director of JWT, a unit of the WPP Group, which has been the Marine Corps' advertising agency for more than 60 years.

But now they're mongering their message out to athletic girls everywhere, because being in the Marines is much like a fun athletic competition. "The message is that the Marine Corps offers a unique opportunity to earn that title and be shoulder to shoulder with your male counterparts [WHILE BEING SHOT AT IN A FAR-FLUNG HELLHOLE FOR THE IMPERIALIST CAUSE]," said an ad exec.

So how are all the girls responding to all that taxpayer money being poured into magazine ads so far?

The magazine ads include reply cards, and, Mr. Harding said, they yielded more than 1,044 "qualified leads" in 2007, though only two turned into enlistments.

Bonus: Here's an ad The Marines ran during "American Idol" which supposedly has broad-based appeal. Though I didn't spot too many women in it.

[Disclosure: I once worked with Doug Quenqua, the reporter who wrote this story]

Enter Case Western University's Institute for Management and Engineering, which began using its own 2D codes, called EZcodes, around Case Western's Cleveland campus in February. The codes are found everywhere from transit stops, where students can scan them to see when the next bus would arrive, to applications on Facebook and MySpace, to the student newspaper where QVC recently began rolling out its own marketing campaign with Mobile Discovery. As QVC's CMO Jeff Charney said, "We wanted to make the Case campus look like downtown Tokyo."

...

Google has already seen results from a recent test campaign conducted in three markets with jewelry retailer Blue Nile. Each ad contained a QR code and a response tag, and was tested against the same ads without the tags. The code-enhanced ads ended up driving 6.5 times more revenue than the ads without. Mr. Spinnell added that the majority of the web traffic to the ads' micro-site was also enhanced by search, which is the ultimate proxy at Google in determining how traditional media is performing. "Aside from the fact that it was a great way to bridge the gap and make these newspaper ads clickable, aggregating these calls-to-action will really benefit the end user."