The simulated Russian Mars mission, Mars 500 ended, today. The six researchers who were locked in a fake, horrendously wood-paneled spaceship for 520 days are now free. How was it?

Mars rocks! Skinny gene! Saffron cancer! Body odor! Beetle drones! Intergalactic traffic! Antibiotic resistance! Old fossils! And a whole new theory of prehistoric hand axe timing! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—coleopteristically!

Goo analysis! Fetal sex! Science mistakes! Alien search! Lamprey death! NASA crafts! Undersea volcanoes! Solar flare! And the brutal ennui of the Mars Rover! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—down to its gooey center!

Why isn't there life on Mars? Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has a theory! "I have always said, heard... it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived... and finished off the planet." Hmm.

Brain friends! Comet comparisons! DNA crime laws! Energy drink deceptions! Monster phalanges! Space sex! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—friendlessly, endlessly, relentlessly!

Courage theories! Sea drugs! Self-doubt conquering! Multi-species jet lag! True hair colors! The fattest place on earth! Dumb babies! And rovers that just won't quit! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—while "doing the robot," with words!

Here's a video of a sunset on Mars, assembled from photographs taken by the Mars rover Opportunity. Mars! You know that funny feeling you get, when you think about how small Earth is, and how big the universe it? Yeah.

Aspiring astronauts: run, don't walk, to sign up for NASA's vague new scheme to blast you off to Mars, never to return. Don't worry—they're doing it on the cheap!

NASA is holding a contest to name the "wakeup songs" played during the last-ever Space Shuttle missions. You can submit an original composition, or pick from a list of songs. The problem: They all suck. The solution: These 10 tracks.

President Obama is on a roll lately. He gave a sassy State of the Union and then he embarrassed House Republicans on TV and now he is agreeing with us that Space is Not Worth it.

Like something foretold in Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, NASA's captured what looks like trees on Mars. They're actually streaks of sand left by evaporating carbon dioxide ice (brrr!), but it's still stunning. Larger version for those who click. [HiRISE]

On this, the 40th Anniversary of the day Mankind conquered the moon, it is time to issue another clarion call for this generation: fuck Mars, let's focus our attention here, for now.

John McCain would love to see NASA adopt a "better set of priorities," by which he doesn't mean science and stuff, but rather just sending a dude to Mars. Hooray Mars! McCain says he was inspired as a child by reading The Martian Chronicles, a book that tells the story of how humans exterminate native Martians and…

Mars bought the WM. Wrigley Jr. Company. You gotta imagine a business desk reporter's dream is to one day use the phrase "the chewing gum concern" within the first paragraph of a front-page item. Congrats, Andrew Ross Sorkin! Livin' the dream! That candy industry ought to ride out the depression just fine, right? Gum…

Of course, Clinton surrogates are once again changing the goal-posts, suggesting that superdelegates make their decisions based on the wishes of both Earth and sister planet Mars. [Drudge]