President Barack Obama is currently taking his yearly sojourn in Martha's Vineyard, but has announced he will be returning to Washington Sunday evening to have meetings with Vice President Joe Biden and other advisers.

A very déclassé thing happened to Joelle O'Reilly-Hyland as she and her family were about to board the 9:30 pm ferry to Woods Hole from Martha's Vineyard. She was arrested for stealing cute outfits.

Huge fan of HBO's cult police procedural The Wire and campaign fundraisers that are unironically attended by the show's cast members? Have at least $500 to spare? Then you're in luck!

President Obama will end his Martha's Vineyard vacation a day short and return to Washington, to monitor mean old Hurricane Irene. Are you happy now? Are you happy he's ending his vacation to play National Daddy? Glad you're happy.

President Obama is beginning his third consecutive annual family vacation to Martha's Vineyard, in August, when literally nothing happens anywhere. On a scale from 10 to 10, how furious does this pretend to make you? Because it makes some people very pretend unhappy!

An alarm brought firefighters to Blue Heron Farm — the $50,000-a-week, 28.5 acre property on Martha's Vineyard where the Obamas have spent their summer vacations since 2009 — early Tuesday morning.

Martha's Vineyard resident Frank Hebert, who has been confined to a wheelchair for the past 10 years following a car accident, will be tried for beating the man who allegedly molested the girl he considers his granddaughter. Aren't there worse criminals out there we should be worried about prosecuting?

[President Obama lead his family, including daughter Malia, on a bike ride through Manuel Correllus State Forest in Martha's Vineyard today. Good weather at last! Image via Getty]

America's most famous mosque-lovers, Barack Obama and Michael Bloomberg, played golf on Martha's Vineyard today! The White House adds that they spent 15 minutes talking about the economy. It took them that long to say "It sucks"?

[Michelle Obama appeared to have a laugh at the President's expense today as the couple ordered food from a Martha's Vineyard restaurant while on vacation. Sorry about the crappy weather, guys! Image via Getty]

Breaking news from Martha's Vineyard: Barack Obama went to a bookstore! And he bought novelist Jonathan Franzen's hotly anticipated greatest masterpiece ever, Freedom. It's not even in stores until August 31! He really does have magical time-defying powers. [Image: AP]

The Obamas will spend an August weekend vacationing on the Gulf Coast. Jesus, don't they know how oily it is there? Anyway, this comes before their real vacation to Martha's Vineyard, nicely defusing the inevitable "snobby vacation" criticism. [Image: AP]

Oprah and Obama aren't going to Chelsea's wedding—they weren't even invited. Is the location an elaborate ruse? Could Bristol Palin be trying to upstage her? A guide to the most perplexing wedding of the century.

Barack Obama is on vacation on Martha's Vineyard, with his family, his dog, and the traveling press corps. This is terrible news for that island's struggling community.

All hell's gonna break loose on Martha's Vineyard at the end of August when (1) the Obama family descends on the quiet East Coast getaway for two weeks and (2) Chelsea Clinton's wedding goes down. So: where're they living?

Chelsea Clinton may be getting married this summer to beau Marc Mezvinsky on Martha's Vineyard. Involved in this small tidbit of information: Ted Danson, Touré, the Obama's summer vacay plans, and a "democratic powerbroker."

If you're planning to spend the summer on Martha's Vineyard, your vacation may turn out to be a bit less peaceful this year. WWD reports that the Obamas are thinking about visiting the isle for a little R&R this summer: "Secret Service agents have been spotted casing Martha's Vineyard for what is said to be a…