The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.How 'bout Guest of a Guest blogger Rachelle Hruska, who wins a title of "THE QUEEN BEE" from Meltzer. Meltzer got this one correct, but anyone could've: Hruska has the social-scene-y blogging game on an insidiously smart lockdown. Remember Park Avenue Peerage, Socialite Rank, etc? Nobody does, because the Omaha-born former hedge funder blew them out of the water with a special Kool-Aid-esque formula that everyone in everyone's managed to take a sip of: cover the highbrow, the exclusive, the velvet rope-y shit. Mix it with coverage of "Normals" (i.e. New York Media/Tech neophytes who have more inherent accessibility than the Other Half, who want to be capital-c, Cool, too). Perfect example: the GoaG Hamptons Launch party this very website reported on last week. Sure, there were other people there besides the usual New York Media suspects, but who cares? The ones that mattered were the ones that will most likely disseminate her message to others: bloggers. We award Hruska the Distinguishment of Subversive Evil Genius. Rachelle's the exception to the group, because she actually makes money doing what she does, supposedly. Also, she's exhibited intelligence, and doesn't make herself the star of the show.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Speaking of which, now we get to the good stuff: Mary Rambin, Julia Allison's NonSociety ex-pat (ex-pet?) whom Meltzer awarded The Soloist. Chortle-worthy comparisons to a black, homeless, schizophrenic cello genius aside, Meltzer used the term "unsettling" to describe some of the things readers ("fans") of Rambin's blog have discovered about her, including when she "shamed readers who won free products and then failed to send her thank-you notes." Hysterical, and kudos to Meltzer for doing her research. My only contention with this is that Rambin's presence on the web is marginal at best, and it's going to get exponentially smaller when she moves back to L.A. (where, like the rest of the country, nobody gives a shit about media people) which she's apparently doing. Rambin gets The Ringo Starr Silver Ribbon, as in: no matter how many Beatles you outlive, you're always going to be Ringo*.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.I have no idea what an Ashley Simko is, but apparently she stepped on Kanye West's shoes, once, according to Meltzer. Also, she's friends with the Guest of a Guest crew and - oh, wait. She works in graphic design. That's why we have no idea who she is. Here's her blog, I don't get it. As far as being a fameball goes, Meltzer's wrong, Simko doesn't make the cut. Congratulations, Simko! You made it out alive. You're awarded The Free Pass Out Of New York's Social Alcatraz. Go forth: design beautiful things, live quietly!

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Meltzer also named Paper writer Paul Johnson-Calderon to the list, but didn't name the only reason anyone's ever heard of him besides being an assistant to Lauren Davis at Vogue, once: he was the subject of one of my favorite Page Six items ever run, after he stole some hostess' purse from LES $23/drink nightclub The Eldridge. Petty larceny? So 90s! And hip! That same item had some ex-boyfriend of someone and socialgay Kristian Laliberte both saying he'd jacked shit from them, too (a BlackBerry and a watch), so either Meltzer's friends with the guy, or just got so sick of writing about these people, she just phoned that one in. Johnson-Calderon is hereby awarded The Honorable Position of Class Treasurer..

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Moving along, we have my favorite: the delectable, oft-bespectacled, bow-tied little creature known as Adrien Field. All of 20 years-old, nobody has any idea what earth he doth sprang from (supposedly, "South Jersey," which: so funny), nor do we know how powerful he is, but I think Field is just a viral marketing campaign for Terminator Salvation, wherein Sam Worthington's character wakes up in mud screaming and he's this incredible warrior that may or may not be a motherfuckin' Terminator. Woah.

Meltzer labeled him "The Youngster" and noted that's he's a correspondent for TMI Weekly, so he's basically a crony of Julia Allison and Mary Rambin. Implications of that aside, Meltzer notes that Field has a "men's style" blog that looks like the result of Agador from The Birdcage learning how to use the internet. Seriously (example here). Field can actually write, and he's astoundingly good at getting himself in front of cameras. If he can figure out a way to either (A) monetize himself or (B) keep himself out of the fameball spotlight while building a product, he might be able to survive, unlike the other Gungans, who will just become extinct when the Empire takes over the universe. Just kidding. We're all gonna die out, eventually, especially when people start reading books again. Field gets The Chris Crocker Memorial Award for his distinct style, emotional connection with his audience, and the bright future that Crocker never made it to.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Last, we have Jessica Schroeder, a born-and-bred Tumblr celebrity. Meltzer called her "The Hippie Hipster," but we all know any serious hippie does acid (right?), and Schroeder's your perfectly clean-cut, New York neophyte: a Midwestern import, who moved here to work in fashion and build herself as a brand. I hate this city. She takes pictures of her outfits, blogs about them, and subsequently got a few clips in fashion magazines. Her sartorial style appears to have quality, but her personal blog has seen her prone to personal misgivings about other girls on the internet, and is also shows her as an ardent and aggressive defender of thin women. She rose to fame on Tumblr, and has since been seen out on the town (on occasion) with Tumblr founder/boy wonder David Karp. Jessica wins "Best Dressed" because we're all out of other awards and her plan is so diabolically perfect, it's probably going to work, and Jessica Schroeder the Brand will kill at Target.

America, on behalf of the rest of New York and the last 7,000 characters, I apologize. Our final award of the evening goes to Marisa Meltzer, author of the piece, who you may remember from her linguistic beatdown at last week's N+1 90's panel. We appreciate that Meltzer is trying to document and create culture rather than wax poetic about it in a white room in The New Museum, but really: Marissa. You write for Slate and the Times. Unless this thing bought you nine dinners at Per Se, what the hell?! Meltzer is hereby designated Nu-Fameball Class of 2009 Advisor, or something. It's only fair we thank you appropriately. May we never write about anybody here again.

*This reminds me of a famous quote in which John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world. Lennon replied that he wasn't even the best drummer in The Beatles.

This was recently posted to the Palo Alto Craigslist jobs board:

Successful entrepreneur in media/entertainment/technology fields seeks intelligent, open-minded, flexible and responsible muse who will be a sounding board for often radical creative idea, story and production concepts, and in time, to become a confidante and life coach to help him express inner motivations within the context of a very complex, fast-paced life.

Entrepreneur has existing personal assistant/executive admin staff providing primary business and household administration services. Ideal candidate would join this team in Personal Assistant role under the close supervision/tutelage of Executive Assistant, augmenting staff and filling in as needed and in accordance with skill set/experience. Responsibilities include supporting business and personal travel, including private jets/ground transportation/hotels; personal shopping/style suggestions; attending (and at times organizing) social/political/business events; recommending (and at times attending) entertainment/dining/ art and music events, valet services, advising/coordinating diet/exercise, handling any small matter that arises, from picking up coffee to coordinating conference calls. Candidate must be able to scale from professional to casual demeanor, and from business to casual dress, and to be able to able to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, from financial executives to fine artists and filmmakers.

Entrepreneur has substantial executive responsibilities that come in fits and starts with existing projects and personal obligations that tie up his time randomly and leave unpredictable blocks of time available, often with short notice of opening slots and closing slots. Candidate needs to be able to be in a position to be highly flexible in terms of availability. As experience and familiarity with entrepreneur's lifestyle grows, there is opportunity for more hours of work, overlapping more of entrepreneur's day. Over time, ideal candidate would "shadow" entrepreneur, in both a personal assistant and muse role, handling practical matters as they come up, as well as being a sounding board/coach/critic for ideas both in scheduled sessions and when time avails itself, e.g. during flights.

Ideal candidate has or is getting Bachelors or Masters degree; has knowledge and interest as well as an eye/ear in the realms of art, music, film, video, performing arts, fashion, videogames, interactive online media; is an effective writer and/or sketcher to document/organize ideas; an empathetic listener; tasteful; adept at using computer tools/navigating the Web. Pluses include artistic, performance and/or training/massage experience. Candidate must be comfortable exploring any creative material, including highly personal and extremely dark subjects. But above all, candidate must be the sort of person with a serious passion for a long-term career in the role of providing support for a highly creative, high-end individual who has an extremely busy and complex life.

This is an exceptional position for an exceptional candidate. Compensation commensurate with experience, applicable skill set and fit for the role. If the candidate works out, opportunity for substantial financial growth and first-class perks. An ideal fit will be highly valued. Position will start on a part-time trial basis, and then if candidate is a fit, expand in accordance with scope of role candidate is able to fill. Schedule: initially 8-24 hours/week.

Must be legal to work in the US, have driver's license and car. You will be provided with everything else needed for your work.

Respond via email with brief description of how you see yourself as suited for this role and resume.

So does we have any guesses as to who the person that placed the ad might be? And can someone please forward this on to Mary Rambin so she can hurry get her resume in? For some reason she sounds perfect for this gig.





Creative/Tech Entrepreneur Seeks Exceptional Muse/Personal Assistant [Craigslist]

She called up a Gawker Media employee, who shall go unnamed, to complain about unspecified errors in Owen Thomas' recent coverage. But not from anger (or an overdose of Blueprint Cleanse) but out of love. See, Gawker's going downhill, she claims, and she'll buy a "round of drinks" if her will is done. Thankfully, I'm not taking orders from Rambin.

Owen's cranky streak is one of the reasons we love him. (Other reasons: he's a talented writer who knows the tech beat inside and out.) Around here, unsolicited and unhinged rants are worn as a badge of honor. The only reason, as far as we can tell, that she thinks Gawker is falling apart is that we're not covering her every move. Such is the double-edged nature of fameballing. And, Mary, if you have a problem with one of my writers, rather than calling the ad staff, you should get in touch with me directly.

NonSociety, a group blog detailing Allison's, Rambin's, and Silicon Valley heiress Meghan Asha's daily misadventures, has always promised to be more than just a stream of the trio's daily trivia. "It's just the three of us... but not for long! We're bringing on other contributors," the site has promised since it launched last year. Only now, with Rambin's exit, is Allison looking seriously for more people. The site was never about the three of them, Allison now argues. Well, of course, it was never about anything at all.

For some reason grapefruit sounded good this morning. I've NEVER eaten one before. It was only a month ago I actually enjoyed my first glass of grapefruit juice. I've been missing out! Grapefruit is delicious. Hence, the "after" picture. After one bite, I didn't come up for air.

It's true.

Allison, in a drunken moment at the South By Southwest Interactive conference in Austin, Texas, admitted to Rambin's impending departure from the lifestreaming venture, in which Allison, Rambin, and Silicon Valley heiress Meghan Asha Parikh posted constant blog entries, photos, and videos from their empty lives.

Rambin was the least prolific blogger of the three. And yet she contributed so much to NonSociety in contributing so little. True, her "speach" often lacked "coherance" (two actual recent typos). But there's nothing as entertaining as watching a rich girl who recently spent a month on a yacht opine about what it takes to make money. (Which, apparently, she needs.)

Here's Rambin's ramble about the future of Web video:

Here's my answer: I think the key to web video is creating all different formats that can exist together. Create a show with a relatively high production value with approachable characters or personas. Have these people or actors make their own unedited videos so the audience gets to know and love them. Concurrently, short, edited videos should be shot with experts and celebs to show a different perspective in an entertaining way. Approach major brands with sponsorship packages that supplement their current traditional campaign (so they don't get their panties in a bunch). Pitch brand awareness and your distribution channels (which should be any website that will have you). License the show to a major network to increase your eyeballs and the show's value and revenue.

She seems to be talking about TMIweekly, a Web-video show which recently got picked up by NBC's most obscure TV channel. Rambin, Allison said, is sticking with the show even as she's dropping NonSociety. Can you blame her? It's the only part of Allison's laughable startup which is showing even a glimmer of commercial promise. It almost makes you feel sorry for Rambin, when her best prospect for making money consists of unwatchable video on a channel no one watches.

Appropriate, because New York Nonstop is as close as one can get to the Internet in obscurity, and yet still claim to be on television, making it an appropriate home for the contentless musings of Allison, an inappropriately well-known dating columnist Time Out New York, and her two friends, Silicon Valley heiress Meghan Asha Parikh and vapid handbag designer Mary Rambin. (Or perhaps just Rambin: Rumors are spreading that Parikh may have quit, though Allison denies this.)

Episodes of TMIweekly, a videoblog, have featured the three talking about uninteresting aspects of their lives. (Imagine Twitter, but videotaped.) It's part of a pseudo-business called NonSociety. Allison recently informed me that NonSociety had taken in $60,000 in revenues in all of 2008. Using the advanced business metric known as earnings before expenses, that would give NonSociety's three foundresses a living slightly above minimum wage. Parikh's family fortune must surely throw off more interest than that in a month.

The 24-hour news channel broadcasts in Manhattan, sort of, on digital channel 4.2, and Time Warner Cable carries it on channel 161. So if you avoid triple-digit cable channels and haven't upgraded to a digital converter — since the government has pushed back the deadline for the digital transition, you probably haven't — you can remain blissfully Allison-free. New York NonStop claims a theoretical reach of 5.7 million, though, so it's possible someone, somewhere, in the New York area might accidentally be exposed to her work.

Whatever NBC is paying Allison for this 24x7 filler, it's surely too much. As NBC officials themselves seem to realize! Meredith McGinn, senior manager of special products for NBC4, explained to the New York Daily News:

You'll get your meat — your news, weather and headlines — every 15 minutes. In between those 15 minutes, you may have a two-minute segment, a two-minute pod, a five-minute pod. So the shows we're looking at are in little bits, not your traditional half-hour newscasts.

So the news is the meat, which makes TMIweekly, what, exactly? Shredded lettuce? Mayo? Anything, surely, except relish.

Rather than force you to watch TMIweekly, we will show you Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley's much funnier parody, "NomSociety":

Welcome To NomSociety from Richard Blakeley on Vimeo.

Google's ads pick up on keywords in NonSociety, a collection of egoblogs maintained by Allison and two friends, vapid handbag designer Mary Rambin and insecure Silicon Valley heiress Meghan Asha Parikh. The search engine's ad-placing algorithms are mercilessly insightful. The current selection:

Davos, debt, and digestion. Pretty much sums up the threesome, doesn't it?

The other day, Wall Street Journal editor Robert Thomson opined about Google on the Charlie Rose Show:

But one of the — Google — I mean, the harsh way of just defining it, Google devalues everything it touches. Google is great for Google, but it's terrible for content providers, because it divides that content quantitatively rather than qualitatively. And if you are going to get people to pay for content, you have to encourage them to make qualitative decisions about that content.

As much as we hate to disagree with Thomson, we think Google has made an excellent qualitative judgment on NonSociety.

Date and time of the experience is TBD based on your host's schedule...

This package does not include any travel or accommodations. The winning bidder is responsible for arriving at the event at the agreed upon time and date. Food and beverages will be paid for by your hosts. The winner may take personal pictures and bring something to be signed. Winner may be subject to a background check, if either fails the background check, they forfeit the prize. Please bid accordingly.

And the kicker: "the night's festivities will be featured on NonSociety.com!"

Bid now! (JOKES, etc.)

Nonsociety VP of fameballism Rambin told us, of her penchant for videoblogging her own colonics: " The procedure is certainly not 'unnecessary'... Our bodies store so many toxins from food (pesticides, chemicals, preservatives) and our bodies were not made to process and flush them out. We need help."

Yes, you need help.(She's actually shilling Blueprint Cleanse still, today). In a flabbergasting development, the Times Style section has actually published a useful article today, gently debunking this entire fraudulent industry:

“It is the opinion of mainstream and state-of-the-art medicine and physiology that these claims are not only ludicrous but tantamount to fraud,” said Dr. Peter Pressman, an internist with the Naval Hospital in Jacksonville, Fla., and a critic of detoxification. “The contents of what ends up being consumed during a ‘detox’ are essentially stimulants, laxatives and diuretics.”

Would you like another quote from this highly qualified physician, who may, in contrast to purveyors of 'Cleanses,' know about science and stuff?

“There is absolutely no scientific basis for the assertion that the regimens popularly defined as ‘detox’ will augment the body’s own capacity for identifying and eliminating your own metabolic wastes or doing the same for environmental toxins,” Dr. Pressman said. “I advise patients that these detox programs amount to a large quantity of excrement, both literally and figuratively.”

But hey, what about your cousin who lost 15 pounds doing the Master Cleanse and drinking nothing but lemonade and cayenne pepper for ten days?!?!?! Well, if you go on a diet consisting solely of a few glasses of juice per day—any juice—you too will lose weight. Magic. [NYT]

Not only are these things utter ripoffs, they're wearying to hear about. It's all either yapping about juice, which makes the yapper sound like a credulous new age fool, or yapping about intestines, which is just disgusting. Our fameballs would entertain us much more effectively with a six week program of THIS:

UPDATE: Mary Rambin writes us, in response:

Detox can be different than cleansing. The NYT article is right about Health Food Stores selling nonsense in a bottle with diuretics. That is what the experts are talking about. You won’t find a single doctor who will say it’s harmful to your health to blend up lettuce. With these organic cleanses, companies like BluePrint and Organic Avenue are extracting the vitamins and minerals of produce to make juices and smoothies. Furthermore, instead of causing more movement, sometimes they can stop you up. Hence the colonic that also helps flush out the toxins and crap that adheres to the walls of your colon on a daily basis.

Furthermore, I lost maybe a pound on my most recent cleanse. Someone with a little more to lose might see weight loss as a benefit, but for me, it’s all about getting my healthy diet back on track.

And finally, at least link to the video and TMIweekly so people can hear our side of the story, not just the shit you’re spouting. You do trust them to make a decision for themselves, right?

The girls (Mary, pretend-techie Megan Asha, and their all-knowing overlord Julia Allison) are partying/promoting it up at CES, the tech consumer trade show (a yearly Woodstock for nerds and early-adopters.) Mary, of course, is "life-casting" the whole adventure, ranting and hooting into the internet echo chamber about their exploits. And then she does two unforgivable things:

1) Playing Rock Band, Guitar Hero, or any of the other music video game iterations doesn't make you fun. At this point it's like saying that you sent an email or went to the bathroom. Playing that game no longer makes you quirky or nerd-chic or endearing. Play away, by all means, but it won't make you whimsical. (Also, no more "lip dubs," please.)

2) If one more young woman refers to herself and her girlfriends as "crazy," I'm burning this whole thing down. Unless you and your girlfriends are murdering drifters just to get your down-below bits going, or sitting on a city bus yelling at dust motes about the Asians, y'all are not crazy. You're just regular people who like to have fun. Saying "we're crazy!!" is not going to get anyone to think that you're extra super special fun any more than assigning yourselves various Sex and the City character names and going to brunch all the time will affirm to anyone that your particular sisterly bonds are stronger than the ones other ladies have with their friends. Unfortunately in this world, no one is that special. Do you get what I'm saying here, or am I, um, crazy?

End rant.

Anyway, looks like fun. Have a good time ladies.

Let's take it all in chronological order, because this is important. On the day before Christmas, Julia ran down just how lucky she felt to be surrounded by the two wonderful girls who, with her, make up the fake company Nonsociety—they "have become the sisters I always wanted."

My relationships with them have been the most precious gifts I have ever received, and I could not imagine my life without them....To watch something like this turn into reality? I can’t describe the joy I feel; it’s limitless.

Her friend sister Mary Rambin spent her Christmas vacation cruising around on a $476,000 per week rented yacht. And what did she do first thing in the new year? Ruin Julia's sense of zen, the bitch. And all Julia did was write some email about how stupid Mary's New Year resolution was:

From: Mary Rambin
Sent: Thursday, January 01, 2009 11:31 PM
To: Julia Allison
Subject: please

Don’t actively call for my resolutions when I already posted what mine
is along with the fact that I’m not blogging for another day.

Thanks for being a good blogger

Julia replies:

huh? That was your resolution? Stop snapping at people?

Mary replies:

I think I made it pretty clear I don’t like resolutions on any particular
day.

Night night

Julia replies:

wow. mary, you’re on the most beautiful, amazing vacation I’ve ever seen, and you still manage to be a cranky bitch. Truly impressive, my dear.

It makes me especially mad, because I just wrote you a really sweet Christmas card.

Happy New Years to you, too.

BFF! L.Y.L.A.S.! Is Julia going through a serious emotional roller coaster ride? Or is this just one more sign that perhaps it's not wise to write and publish every nonsensical thought that pops into one's head? Either way, I think the transparently vapid nature of these women's public dialogue is ample assurance we won't be hearing any more about them this year.

The following people are available for appearances, according to this shrieky email. Book your favorite now. January is boring. Spice it up with a gummy idiot reality TV star who desperately needs the work. Can't you for once think of the needy among us?

• "Daisy De La Hoya now has her own show coming to VH1 and yes, she is taking offers for appearances so secure your city and date now. New Years Eve is available."
• "Watch for Mario [Lopez] on the new season of Nip/Tuck Many more TV shows still coming to air soon and available only Saturday's. Looking for parties to secure Saturday's in January plus expenses for 3 people (schedule permitting). Watch him in the new season of Nip Tuck."
• "MTV's Real World Brooklyn cast are now available for appearances!" It's true! One already made a fun-filled appearance on my Chinatown bus.
• "Megan Hauserman from "I Love Money" has her own show coming soon to VH1, "Trophy Wife" and available!" Oh, but don't plan for New Year's: "Megan is booked in Sabbatus, Maine for NYE @ MIXERS."
• "Dr. 90210 Will Kirby now available for appearances."
• "Adrienne Bailon also featured on The Kardasians [sic] TV show & The CHEETAH GIRLS off tour now- appearances are available at this time. Only Adrienne and Kiely are available."
• "Main man Jo Jo and Brittany Fuchs on MOMMA's Boy TV show are available for appearances at this time. Now."
• "THE HILLS cast member - Jason Wahler available for appearances!"
• "Carmen Electra is always looking for offers to make appearances depending on where, when and how much. Secure your city now."
• "Mikalah Gordon and Diana DeGarmo from American Idol were recently on the CMT's Reality Show "Gone Country". They are affordable [Ed. note: Devastating] and available now to meet and greet fans being requested all over the world."
• " MR BELDING known from Saved By The Bell series and many college parties is available for appearances!

The Lady Sheridan (the boat Mary is on) is 190 ft long, sleeps 12 guests and 15 crew. It costs $476,000 PER WEEK to charter. I'm sure NS readers can really relate. At least nobody is being fooled anymore about who pays for her daily designer shopping sprees.

Nice!

Until one of her readers informed her otherwise, she was under the impression that she would need only to take the GREs to apply. (She also worried about there being a math section on the exam. When applying to business school.) Luckily a concerned TMI Weekly fan let her know that one does, in fact, have to subject themselves to the exponentially more difficult GMAT exam, and that she'd need an extremely high score just to get her toe in the door. So, first big hurdle!

The other problem is that she'd want to keep running her NonSociety "business" while freezing away in Boston or toiling away from the sun in Palo Alto. Which... we mean, we don't know how much there is to run, but that sounds ambitious. Isn't there like a lot of studying? Maybe her cohorts Meghan Asha and Mary Rambin could apply, too! Roommates who study and lifecast together! Meghan might do fine, with her hedge fund background, but we'd fret about dear, sweet Mary worrying that head of hers with facts and figures. Thinking makes wrinkles, after all. Though the bigger question is, isn't the old "going to business school" thing kind of the parachute rescue option when one's undertaking isn't proving terribly successful? Could Julia's new life course actually be hinting doom for the site (and experience) that asks (tells?) us to "live differently"?

Though really, movie cliche aside, it is cute to see her so excited and impulsively silly about such a big, tough decision. We can't say we haven't had similar Big Dream longings while languishing at home for the holidays. They're introspective times, because they do embolden, better than any other time of the year, the swift and sometimes harsh passage of time. It's easy to feel an existential tug for something More. (We may have made drunken plans last night to move to Rome for a year in June.) In that vein, we wish Ms. Allison luck.

But srsly. Get off the computer and go hit the books, sister.

"Allison and crew are the ultimate examples of a new form of digital elite: young women with the money and means to fly around the world on private jets to meet with multi-media executives, attend tech conferences and essentially broadcast their lives 24/7 to an ever-growing cadre of online fans."

Haha, no they're not, and they'll admit it. As JA herself says, "Great Moments in Journalism, Part 739. Wherein They Present Something Which Is Not Really The Case and We Go Along With It."

This, friends, is the high cost of fameballing. You, the Brand.

Colonic - Round 2 from Mary Rambin on Vimeo.

...We now hear [Bravo] is casting for "Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys," a reality show based on Melissa de la Cruz and Tom Dolby's compilation of personal essays about friendships between straight women and gay men. Plus, Bravo's working on several "Real House wives" spinoffs and about 10 other concepts.

We submitted a question about this to the fameballs' new "Advice Box" ("you can literally ask us anything") and are eagerly awaiting a reply. (OK, maybe not quite "eagerly." But definitely "awaiting!")

If the Bravo show does fall through, we'll at least find out whether Allison, Asha and Rambin have the wherewithal to move forward with their joint venture, Nonsociety, as something other than a TV showpiece. A tough phone call from an old friend to Allison recently prompted a "mini-meltdown" — who knows what a big cancellation would do.

The whole thing started with a "tough-love" conversation between Allison and her high school boyfriend Dan, which included observations like the following:

You’re running a business that’s based on selling you as a product. But you’re not a product, you’re a person...

I feel like the Julia that’s on your blog, of all the faces of you, this is the worst. And I’ve seen you at your worst. I feel like this is the result of you being overexposed and burned out by having been slammed so hard. But it’s also a product of your social environment, which I have to say, I find absolutely appalling.”

...At the scariest moments in your life, you’re going to be alone. And then you’re going to have to ask yourself, am I really a success? Am I proud of myself? There’s so much more to that than whether your business succeeds, than whether you’re rich or not. It’s about being a good friend, a good parent, a good family member.”

We know all this, by the way, because while Dan was telling Julia about how dangerous it is to securitize her life on an oversharey blog, Allison raced to grab a pen and write everything down so she could publish the phone conversation on her oversharey blog.

Which is just the sort of predictable commitment to shareholder value (and distraction) this economy needs right now! Don't ever change, Julia. (No seriously, we'll downgrade your overshares or something.)

(Pictured: Allison cozying up to that other self-inflated personal media brand, Martha Stewart, via Mary Rambin.)

[Julia Allison, Megan Asha]

In Which Blood Bubbles Up Through The Cracks Of New York City Streets
Real Housewives of New York City is not new. It premiered to horrified lookers on last year, its particular brand of gonzo nouveau riche tackiness eventually wooing viewers close to its leathery bosom. Now it's filming again, with a new "housewife" called Kelly Killoren Bensimon who films little internet movies with famous people in the Hamptons. No word yet on when the new season will begin but, again, they are filming. A tipster tells us: "I live VERY close to Alex and Simon of Real Housewives (I see them daily) and they were filming ALL weekend. I was most excited to see Jill Zarin there, happily chatting with Alex. I noted that Alex changed her outfit multiple times over the course of a day. Simon enjoys smoking outside with the crew."

In Which The Blood Seeps Under Doors, Into Homes and Shops, Threatening to Drown Small Dogs and Children
We warned you about this long ago, and now it seems to have become a reality (hardee harrr). Whitney Port, the dove-eyed and ghostlike silent observer from MTV's Los Angeles dream ballet The Hills, is currently working for the tremendously scary fashion PR guru Kelly Cutrone, which brings her and her cameras! to New York City. Yes, she's filming a show, rumored to be called The City, about her trials and travails in this biggest of rotten crab apples. Joining her on the carefully moderated ride will be Olivia Palermo, the confusing socialite who does something having to do with fashion sometimes. Fellow socialite Inevitably Emily Brill does not approve. Palermo's people have denied her involvement, but The Brills seems fairly convinced that she is. Sigh.

In Which The Blood Gets In the Elevator Of the Empire State Building and Lurches, Ominously, To the Top
As reported earlier by the Guest of a Guest, a new show called Social Heights will soon be leaving us bleary eyed and irrationally afraid of door knobs and streetlamps. It's to star various society types like socialgay and PR ninny Kristian Laliberte and friend of reality-TV hating Emily Brill Devorah Rose. Ms. Brill was approached at one point to be on this show, formerly titled 10021, but she eventually turned it down. The ins and outs of getting this stupid thing off the ground are probably more "interesting" than any of the tiresome plotlines the producers could ever hope to come up with. Either way, fellow socialgay Micah Jesse sits in a corner and sulks.

In Which the Blood Oozes Out of the Elevator and Precariously Close to the Edge...
We just don't really know what's going on with Julia Allison's reality show. The former Star editor-at-large and current fancy apartment-haver and her two Weird Sister buddies, "tech geek" Megan Asha and Fulbright scholar Mary Rambin, recently started NonSociety, an internet amalgamation of their Tumblr musings and various photo and video diary entries. Supposedly this is all being turned into a reality show for Bravo, which may or may not be subsidizing Ms. Allison's apartment. It's all terribly confusing and I'm not really sure these girls are actually considered "socialites," but whatever; they're pretty and have money and people seem to sorta pay attention when they do things. Again, sigh.

In Which the Blood Spills Over, Set to Rain Down and Destroy the City's Populace, Until a Bright Yellow Umbrella Catches It All and Protects Us Forever
Tinsley Mortimer and her indefatigable (if exasperated) housekeeper Guadalupe get a reality show in which they putter around the house and say funny things, Tinsley tells long rambling stories to the camera, and they go on various car trips. In one episode they go to Vermont to "see the exfoliage" as Tinz puts it, and she ends up getting stuck in an apple tree. The credits roll while Guadalupe pokes at the tree with a stick, trying to shake the socialite and handbag designer loose. (OK, so this one is made up. But it would be amazing, I think. You know, if Guadalupe existed. Get on it, Tinsley!)