An as-yet unidentified resident of Braintree, Mass. was summoned to court after being pulled over last weekend in a police-style cruiser. A highly intelligent police officer correctly surmised that there are no police in the state who call themselves "Decepticons" and drive $100,000 Italian-crafted cruisers.
Firefighters battling an 8-alarm blaze in East Boston also had to contend with some asshole's brand new BMW, which was parked in front of a fire hydrant they needed to access as quickly as possible. They smashed the car's windows and ran the hose right through the front seat.
Boston's new mayor, Marty Walsh, is the same man who tried to make the Modern Lovers' "Roadrunner" the official rock song of Massachusetts earlier this year. We approve.
Last December, Pope Benedict XVI named Massachusetts episcopal vicar Arthur M. Coyle a Prelate of Honor, the second of three monsignor ranks within the Catholic Church. Yesterday, police allegedly discovered Coyle with a prostitute behind a cemetery.
It is completely unthinkable that the gentleman above, a kindly Massachusetts fellow wearing a TEABAG THE RAGS shirt with the New York Rangers logo shaped like a pair of testicles, would ever remove his genitals from his pants and show them to strangers. Especially not mere hours after last Sunday's Bruins-Rangers…
Joe Sly is such a hardcore Boston punk. He's so punk, his email address is Bostonbeatgang@gmail.com. He's so punk that he proactively emails noise bands to see when and where they're coming to Boston to play some of those "DIY concerts." He's so punk his Google+ motto—this oxymoron just gets better—is "What's the…
Former Representative Barney Frank is not known for saying polite things to make people feel better. He will not "pretend everything in wonderful" when it is not. He will cause a scene when Fire Island ferry employees refuse his senior discount. He will not indulge an inquiry into his emotional state after getting…
This afternoon, the FBI announced a major development in the greatest art heist in history: after two decades, they still haven't solved the case!
Yesterday, the Boston Phoenix announced that the alternative-newsweekly would stop publishing after 47 years. I learned this by phone, from someone who'd been a colleague of mine there, while the paper was experimenting with editors, before its final stretch of apparent stability.
"Boston," a cramped Hollywood crime movie set populated primarily by the lesser Wahlbergs, is engaged in a gleeful back-and-forth exchange of japes with a national media outlet, calling to mind the beaming smile of a developmentally disabled child who has just been allowed to win a game of tag with a grown man.
The city of Boston is like that childhood best friend you introduce to adult friends with repeated reassurances like, "Sometimes he flips over cars when he's drunk, but he's really great" and "Yes, he wears khakis, but he's incredibly liberal thinker" and "No, really, he talks funny, but just give him a chance." And…
Joyce Linehan is the former manager of the Lemonheads, Sub Pop's Boston rep, and the manager of songwriter Joe Pernice. Courtney Love wrote "Doll Parts" staying at Linehan's place. But she's also the Massachusetts-based activist whose supportive urging helped convince Elizabeth Warren to run against Republican goof…
Massachusetts, you sure have been wacky this week. You're a major accomplice in this week's "Binders full of women" deluge (which Romney lied about too). You had brother-and-sister thieves pretending to be screwing in a bathroom to avoid jail time. Plus those roving coyotes, dumped lottery winners, cartoony bus-driver…
The Massachusetts centerfold senator is avoiding a Palin Tea Party rally on the Boston Common on Wednesday. But local Tea Partiers claim they aren't mad, because Brown "has half a century of Kennedy damage to compensate for." Conservative tension brewing!
We've heard about the various ethnicities getting the Jersey Shore treatment. Now it appears an entire state will: The producers behind Jersey Shore have put out a casting call for "massholes."
Jon and Kate Gosselin are basically the worst people in the history of TV. Pennsylvania pride! Scott Weiland's wife: a crazy-awesome smack addict. Kanyeezy's community serveezy. J-Lo's Lola gives me facehurt. Weirdos! Celebrities! Whatever! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
All Westport resident Michael Rodrigues wanted to do was buy tax-free liquor in New Hampshire, as countless thousands do every day. But just because he's a Massachusetts state legislator who approved a tax hike on booze, he's in trouble!
