No dis-R-E-S-P-E-C-T intended, but Aretha Franklin needs to learn how to be cool at a party. TMZ is reporting that she was both the first guest to arrive at and the first to leave Sarah Jessica Parker's $40,000-a-head Barack Obama fundraising dinner Thursday night.

Longtime West Villagers Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker have reportedly purchased a $21 million townhouse on the Upper West Side. It has eight bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and two walk-in closets so big you could practically live in them!

The Longoria-Parkers face conflicting rumors about adultery and divorce. Pink is pregnant. Stewart-Pattinson probably didn't get married, but Ochocinco will soon. Wednesday gossip is at loggerheads.

[Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in the West Village today. Photo via Splash]

Poor Ferris has finally snapped and taken to a life of crime. Also today: A show starring a beloved actress is canceled, another show will feature a non-beloved non-actress, and we fantasize about yet another TV show.

[Anderson Cooper leaves The Lion restaurant in West Village after having dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband Matthew Broderick New York City. Click through for more Coop John B. Photo via WENN.]

Today at Gawker.TV, Jon Stewart bids farewell to Tony Hayward, Heidi Klum talks about pants-pooping with Regis Philbin, Kristen Schaal's worst job ever, zombie Dick Cheney, and Louis C.K. tries to act alongside Matthew Broderick on Louie.

Last night's episode of Louie might have been the funniest thing on TV in ages. Laughing the whole way through the episode made it difficult to select the best highlights from the show, but we tried our best. Hilarity inside.

Today at Gawker.TV, a mashup of all the times the term "thrown under the bus" was used on The Celebrity Apprentice, Brody Jenner's a douche, and a look back at the worst TV shows from the past decade.

We were too busy trying to find something to watch on TV to actually attend the Sex and the City 2 premiere. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern went in our stead. Here is her adventure.

Celebrities have descended on Central Park. In this weekend's #stalker sightings: Blythe Danner, Vince Vaughn, Amanda Peet. Elsewhere: Tinsley Mortimer, Owen Wilson, Mary-Louise Parker, Zach Braff, and Matthew Broderick.

In a TV show guys, jeez. She's not that hard-up. Also today: pilot casting news from Patton Oswalt and others, the Footloose remake keeps hitting snags, and the original Ren lands a movie.

Heidi Klum leaving the Mercer Hotel in SoHo and later turning up at ABC studios for an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Alicia Silverstone riding the subway with husband Christopher Jarecki ... Whitney Port filming a skin care commercial in SoHo ... Natalie Cole going to dinner at Nello ... Mad Men's John Slattery …

Matthew Broderick is coming to television. Orlando Bloom will play a creepy doctor. Anti-gay activist Anita Bryant might get a biopic. Sony Layoffs are here, though not queer. The Trade Roundup: Come, let us round this up.