America's one-time favorite British person almost joined the cast of America's one-time favorite sitcom. A match made in sad heaven! Also today: news from Cannes, a bloody upfront scares us all, and of course Hunger Games casting news.
This week's box office battle wasn't supposed to be much of a battle at all. Zack Snyder's CGI crapfest was to sweep the land with its babydoll gunstresses and no one would stop it. But Holllywood is a place built of surprises...
On today's Access Hollywood Live, Matthew McConaughey spoke about being a parent for some time. He mentioned that his daughter loves to eat dirt—and immediately freaked out that those words would be the sound-byte of the whole interview.
Will Kim's world explode when Kris Jenner and Kris Humphries meet? Lea Michele made a 14-year-old girl cry. Eddie Cibrian bought LeAnn Rimes' engagement ring after getting his child support reduced. Friday gossip is full of uncomfortable realizations.
Don't tell Sarah Palin, but he wants to murder a mom. Also: James Cameron is everywhere forever, he will never die. A song gets turned into a movie, later to be turned into a Broadway musical, probably. HBO is dead.
Sort of for the second time. Also today: Comic Con news from Joss Whedon, two movie stars want to work with Hilary Swank for some reason, TV shows shuffle their actors, and Justin Bieber is involved in a murder.
Michael Douglas is living through Traffic, and his kid might be a RAT. Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats trying to make beautiful music. Nicole Richie: not a skeleton. Jessica Alba's one year-old daughter: caliente? Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:
• Is Tiger Woods in New York right now? Did he settle with his estranged wife by handing her a check for $300 million? In two pretty dubious stories now making the rounds, a friend of Elin Nordegren says Woods' scorned wife—who spent the holiday weekend at a French ski resort—has been telling pals she got a $300…
A 72-year-old man decries his last chance to be baller. An update on Paris Hilton's sex life involves swine. Another posthumous Jacko release, and it's terrible. Tiger gives Elin $300M, and she laughs in his face. Monday gossip cometh.
• Madonna is reportedly "taking a more active role" in promoting boy toy Jesus Luz's career. She turned up to hear him spin at the Valentino party the other night, danced with "some hot fashion guys," mingled for a little, and then they left together. But that doesn't mean she's offered to do a song with him. "There…
Break out the Cristal. Mr. Sean Combs turns 40 today. Perhaps he'll get together later to celebrate with Bethenny Frankel of the Real Housewives of New York: She's turning 39. Others blowing out candles today: Matthew McConaughey is turning 40. Kathy Griffin is turning 49. Laura Bush is 63. Survivor host Jeff Probst…
Matthew McConaughey leaving the Mandarin Oriental Hotel to head to Central Park to go jogging ... Matt Damon and wife Luciana having lunch yesterday at Sant Ambroeus ... Helena Christensen walking in the West Village ... Dustin Hoffman talking on his cell phone ... Julianne Moore walking around in the Village ... ... …
Mischa Barton shopping downtown before heading to the gym ... Catherine Zeta-Jones crossing the street on the Upper East Side ... Christina Milian leaving her hotel ... Hugh Jackman walking daughter Ava to school ... Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves arriving at JFK ... Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg hanging out on…
Paris Hilton's neighbor offered her landlord money to throw her ass into the street, Mel Gibson has definitely knocked up his Russian girlfriend/mistress, and A-Rod is boning romantic comedy actress Kate Hudson.
• Are Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze planning to head down the aisle this summer? That's what the Star claims, since the two have been together "almost a year" and supposedly "don't see why they should wait much longer." As good a reason as any! [Star]
• Sam Ronson changed her relationship status on Facebook to…
Madonna has had a terrible riding accident and is recuperating in the Hamptons. Other celebrities have done things too, but not horse-related things.
Movies get directors, and they also get Matthew McConaughey. The Office actors just got rich, and fat people just got validated, in glorious reality show form.
[Matthew McConaughey Sticksailing (or something) in Malibu; image via Splash]
• Both Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have active cases of herpes, reports Page Six, something you should probably keep in mind in the event either woman tries to plant a kiss on you. [P6]
• William H. Macy will take over for Jeremy Piven in Speed-the-Plow now that the Pivster has overdosed on sushi and will need to…
