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New York, 6:10 PM
Wed Dec 9
61 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue

    Seasonal Jam: Seven Songs You Will Most Assuredly Hear At Some Point This Summer
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    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    I judged Taylor Swift by her SNL performance, so I may as well wait another week and do the same with her man candy. I do, however, find him quite pretty. Team that guy over Team creepy sparkly vampire any day.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    12/05/09

    @DahlELama: I went to the fucking Twilight sequel last weekend, and am now Team Man(Boy)-Taylor to the core. A pleasant alternative to the sparkly-one's RIDICULOUSLY asymmetrical nipples. The larger one is ringed with hair. Like a pale pink lion with a scraggly mane. That this jailbait man candy was able to wipe this image from my mind for even a second is all the evidence I need.
     Reply
    KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of secretagentman secretagentman
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    I read on Nikki Finke (Toldja!) that Lautner will be playing 'Max Steel' in a big new movie. i was elated til I realized it wasn't a gay porno. I hope he continues to be a decent guy and doesn't become a Hollywood dink.
     Reply
    secretagentman was starred secretagentman was unstarred
    Image of BlinkyMcChuck BlinkyMcChuck
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Taylor Lautner is pretty enough to make you feel gay, even if you are not. That boy is smoking hot.
     Reply
    BlinkyMcChuck was starred BlinkyMcChuck was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Taylor Swift’s SNL appearance sealed it for me too. If you need to be convinced that Taylor Lautner is an alright kid, watch his appearance on the Tonight Show with Conan: very nice, poised, odd but endearing, a bit nervous, and not full of shit (Hulu).
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of Motoko Kusanagi Motoko Kusanagi
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Typical narcissist couple -- they look identical to each other.
     Reply
    Motoko Kusanagi was starred Motoko Kusanagi was unstarred
    Image of triplethreat triplethreat
    12/05/09

    @Motoko Kusanagi: That is crazy. She is a tall skinny pale blonde and he is super-buff olive skinned brunette.
     Reply
    triplethreat was starred triplethreat was unstarred
    Image of Motoko Kusanagi Motoko Kusanagi
    12/05/09

    @triplethreat: Their faces are basically the same.
     Reply
    Motoko Kusanagi was starred Motoko Kusanagi was unstarred
    Image of Ogiri W Surie Ogiri W Surie
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Sorry, since when is that proto-human brow thing Taylor Lautner has going on, considered attractive?

    Kids these days, I don't get them. And, get off my lawn.
     Reply
    Ogiri W Surie was starred Ogiri W Surie was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    It's all a big plot to take over the world by the skinny people with six-packs and overbites.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of seyswho seyswho
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Somebody pass the bottle and the pipe, because I just cannot stomach another sober minute of hearing about the endless parade of interchangeable tweens and their interchangeable relationships with their cutesy-puke names (Taylor², srsly?) and their fake-as-shit "family values and morals" shtick, especially when you just know they're all pounding the fuck out of each other the second there are no cameras around.

    Sorry for the grumpiness, but that one had been building for a while.
     Reply
    seyswho was starred seyswho was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/05/09

    @seyswho: I hear you. I do not recall a time previous in my history when teenagers were given such social primacy and intrinsic relevance for the amazing, remarkable, rarefied, exceptional and exclusive reason of being young.

    With the exception of the preternaturally gifted Dakota Fanning, I seriously doubt that any of these kids has anything original or relevant to say, either.
     Reply
    Edited by Lysergic Asset at 12/05/09 1:44 PM Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    12/05/09

    @seyswho: It's my secret hope that it's the blonde Taylor that's the top in the relationship. And that the brunette one howls in feigned surprise that she's filling a need deep within him that needs fulsome sating.
    ...Even though both know it's the wolfpack he kept at home that he's really thinking about.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of ninety_nine ninety_nine
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Should have pitched it to Deadspin
     Reply
    ninety_nine was starred ninety_nine was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    "Julia Roberts is the face of Lancome."

    Oh, cool, does this mean Judd Nelson will be the new face of Aqua Velva Ice Sport?
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    She makes all the other teen popettes we've had over the last few years look like vapid vampire octopus brain succubus machines...

    This is true. Thank you, Foster!

    (Just so I know, what exactly is an octopus brain? Like, it attaches itself to your cranium? Because that's how I've felt sometimes.)
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of DaveDavies DaveDavies
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Taylor Swift is a Shiksa? What's a Shiksa?
     Reply
    Foster Kamer promoted this comment DaveDavies was starred DaveDavies was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    12/05/09

    @DaveDavies: Welcome to Gawker Dot Com. Take a ticket and siddown.

    [en.wikipedia.org]
     Reply
    Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/05/09

    @Foster Kamer: What you really need to explain to newcomers is why some commenters have hearts and stars and others are sadly devoid of them.*

    *(I think it's been a while since the whole friends/followers tutorial, but then again, I just got back here a week ago.)
     Reply
    Edited by Lysergic Asset at 12/05/09 12:36 PM Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    What kind of a car will hold a bottle of water upright on the dashboard? And what is she smiling at? There's something wrong here, people.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches) howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches)
    12/05/09

    @Mike Jahn: I'm sure I will be proven wrong by a Jalopnik reader, but I think, judging by the gauge cluster, that they're in a Mini.
     Reply
    howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches) was starred howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches) was unstarred
    Image of Atilla the Bun Atilla the Bun
    12/05/09

    @howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches): I embarrassed to admit I know this, but it is a Porsche. I guess when your movie makes a half a billion dollars in two weeks, you can get one of those.
     Reply
    Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred
    Image of Unsolicited Advice Unsolicited Advice
    12/05/09

    In reply to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are a Reasonable Solution to an Unreasonable Issue
    Taylor Swift won me over completely. She actually seems put-together and mentally competent.
     Reply
    Unsolicited Advice was starred Unsolicited Advice was unstarred
    Image of Swifter Swifter
    12/05/09

    @Unsolicited Advice: I just ordered her CD, since it isn't produced by the evil Sony corporation.
     Reply
    Swifter was starred Swifter was unstarred
    Image of triplethreat triplethreat
    12/05/09

    @Unsolicited Advice: I'm with you. I was incredibly sick a few weeks back and randomly watched a bunch of her youtube videos and she seems pretty sweet and normal, as does her mom. I thought it was just the painkillers at the tme but I rewatched recently as a control and felt the same way. That's not to say she couldn't still turn into a monster but now: adorbs.
     Reply
    triplethreat was starred triplethreat was unstarred
    Image of hatey hatey
    12/07/09

    @Unsolicited Advice: Much to the horror of my friends, I used my platform at Sunday Night Shitfaced Fest to announce that I'm taking my mama to see Taylor Swift.

    And that I'm excited to do so and will probably enjoy every second.
     Reply
    hatey was starred hatey was unstarred
    Image of Calaverius Calaverius
    05/25/09

    In reply to Seasonal Jam: Seven Songs You Will Most Assuredly Hear At Some Point This Summer
    no VIOLENS??? but what am I talking about? Black Eyed Peas? Forget I said anything...
     Reply
    Calaverius was starred Calaverius was unstarred
    Image of Maura Johnston Maura Johnston
    05/26/09

    @Calaverius: hey, any other music blog out there can bring you 'songs you're likely to hear if you go to a bar night djed by brooklyn-based bloggers.' i like to think of this as a more practical guide.
     Reply
    Maura Johnston was starred Maura Johnston was unstarred
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