The All the Real Girls goddess has signed on to a pretty bland- and regular-sounding Fox sitcom, which is too bad. Also today: Tom Cruise is about to get musical, Gerard Butler continues to annoy and confuse, and Miley Cyrus destroys SNL.

John McCain, who loves switching personalities, is trying to reclaim his bipartisan Maverick hero image in the media again, now that he's secured another Senate term. And he'll get it. He always does! It's just too easy for him.

Uh oh, cranky old Senator John McCain's memory is going. "I never considered myself a Maverick," he told Newsweek. Of course, that's just what a real maverick would want you to think.

There's no War on Terror! John McCain is a maverick! Hooray: 2000 is back! September 11th never happened.

Awesome news! The lobbyist who either had an affair with John McCain or convinced his staff that she intended to have an affair with John McCain is suing the New York Times.

Sarah Palin is a lot like that Simpsons Halloween episode where the advertising characters terrorize Springfield: if we stop paying attention to her, she can't hurt us. But no one's able to let her go. Neither the liberals who are alternately amused by and horrified of her and the conservatives split between idolizing…

Tim Geithner is Barack Obama's pick for Treasury Secretary, which is probably the most important job in his administration, and no one really quite knows how to feel about that. He's a Rubinite and maybe responsible for killing Lehman but also he's never been a banker, so there you go. But now apparently Tim Geithner…

So we all know, of course, that Sarah Palin loves Real America, which means the parts of America that are pro-American, which according to recent polls is pretty much between 40 and 45 percent of America, population-wise (but much more, maybe, geographically!). And part of loving pro-America America is hating,…

Everyone continues to be terribly impressed by John McCain's awesome ability to bullshit. The man is beloved by the press corps (or, at least, he used to be) because he will say any damn thing that comes to his mind, and what usually comes to his mind is whatever you want to hear. So Slate's Jacob…

Yesterday, Arianna Huffington revealed that John McCain told her in 2000 that he didn't vote for George W. Bush. Which we believe. We believe that he told her this, anyway. Who knows if it was true then, or now. But McCain denied it, right away. Which leads Arianna to list all the documented times he's blatantly lied…

Arianna Huffington used to be a Republican. She was BFF with Newt Gingrich and everything! Then she switched sides and now she runs a super-liberal website where she occasionally breaks news like this: John McCain didn't vote for George Bush in 2000. But now he's a total Republican sell-out! This disappoints Arianna…

So now that we know everything we need to know about balls and penises, we've turned our attention to politics, and to the penis of John McCain, the man—the hero—who could be our next president. After the jump, five important facts about John McCain's penis.

Reporter Michael Isikoff's story of John McCain's unethical relationship with lobbyist Vicki Iseman is up at Newsweek! It's been speculated that news that Isikoff was working on the story is one of the many factors that prompted the New York Times to "rush" their version into print earlier this week. Isikoff's story…

Every year the people you probably think are the worst in the world all gather in Washington, DC for the Conservative Political Action Conference. We went once—it was kinda fun! Ann Coulter says something "shocking" every year and also GOP candidates show up to ask everyone to please vote for them. This year, John…