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Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter

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Mediahohoho
07/20/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
Dear South Carolina Voters:

I've been chatting with the God you claim to love so much and understand so imperfectly. He says that He gave me a slightly smaller than average penis for a reason and that it's a good thing all the women in my life--my wife, the Argentinian chick, those broads whose holes I couldn't find--didn't really mind.

He also says you people are as dumb as a sack of hammers and totally lose the scant brains He gave you whenever some white dude with a haircut and a suit spouts the right combination of God words and quotes Holy Scripture.

In other words, He is laughing at you.

Love and giggles,

Mark Sanford.
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Edited by Mediahohoho at 07/20/09 12:12 AM Mediahohoho was starred Mediahohoho was unstarred

thatblackgirl
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
This is the ultimate "Crap E-mail from a Dude."

Shut UP, Mark. You're just MAKING IT WORSE.
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Pinekatz
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
Dear Mrs. Sanford:

If he hadn't been caught, he'd be planning his next trip to visit his soul mate.

Do the right thing. Take half of everything he has, the kids and 100% of your dignity, then move on.

Pinekatz
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AtomicBalm
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
God must be pretty sick of his name being brought up by these self-indulgent, hypocritical bullshit artists every time they clumsily get caught neck deep in their own sewage of lies. Where's all the thunderbolts and fury we read about in the Old Testament when you need them?
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CumaeanSibyl promoted this comment AtomicBalm was starred AtomicBalm was unstarred

CumaeanSibyl
07/19/09

@AtomicBalm: I imagine their faces melting all shouldna-looked-in-the-Ark stylee. It's very satisfying.
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SybilDisobedience
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
Blah blah blah. What a fucking narcissist. I know, all politicians are. But I'm still fucking tired of hearing from this guy.
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T.s. Ediot
07/19/09

@SybilDisobedience: He believes that he's been chosen by god. To lead the state of South Carolina. Mark Sanford's true soul mate? Mark Sanford.
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CumaeanSibyl promoted this comment T.s. Ediot was starred T.s. Ediot was unstarred

CumaeanSibyl
07/19/09

@T.s. Ediot: Chosen to lead South Carolina... oh, I can see the hand of God in that. As Paul Krugman recently said, "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make Republican governors."
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BlinkyMcChuck
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
He just loves the attention. He's in some kind of weird reality show in his mind, the Christian Not-A-Bachelor.
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labyrinthine IS DOING THIS
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
because, all we all know, quoting the Old Testament is SRS BZNS.
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labyrinthine IS DOING THIS promoted this comment

charliebrowns
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
What a fucking hamster.
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phlox✔ promoted this comment charliebrowns was starred charliebrowns was unstarred

phlox✔
07/19/09

@charliebrowns:
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IAmDoingThis
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
I love this whole meltdown, except for his poor wife. She's got all the makings of a steel magnolia, though.
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ShanghaiLil promoted this comment IAmDoingThis was starred IAmDoingThis was unstarred

ShanghaiLil
07/19/09

@IAmDoingThis: "Poor wife?" She's run five of his campaigns for various offices. Do you think she didn't know what she was doing when she informed the press that she had no idea where he was? She had had, as we Southerners say, "a bait!"
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pmarble
07/19/09

@ShanghaiLil: And for this I shall eternally love her.
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ShanghaiLil promoted this comment pmarble was starred pmarble was unstarred

ShanghaiLil
07/19/09

@pmarble: I'm quite fond of her myself. Can you imagine what it must've been like LIVING with that? I can see myself now, screaming, "OK, I know I said I wanted a partner who was able to talk about his feelings, but JESUS H. CHRIST! SHUT UP ALREADY!"
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BookishLookish
07/19/09

@ShanghaiLil: Interestingly, she was a Catholic from Chicago who switched to his church. I agree with you, Shang, it must be hell being married to a yammerer like that, but worse, and despite her willingness to go public, she's got a total Stepford vibe that skeeves me out. Why didn't she just take a younger lover of her own and keep her mouth shut? This shitstorm is hurting her kids and she threw a few turds in there herself. Not that I thought she should get up on the podium with him like Silda, but TMI is good for the goose/good for the gander.
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Edited by BookishLookish at 07/19/09 6:06 PM BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred

CumaeanSibyl
07/19/09

@BookishLookish: Because having sex with a hot younger lover doesn't fix the fact that you're married to a self-absorbed, whiny cheater?

I mean, it's nice and all, but you still have to come home to "But why can't I go see my mistress? You're so meeeaaaan."
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Edited by CumaeanSibyl at 07/19/09 7:08 PM CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred

BookishLookish
07/19/09

@CumaeanSibyl: Your logic is impeccable. But: Why aren't you drinking heavily on a Sunday afternoon? I am.
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atlasspanked
07/19/09

In reply to Mark Sanford Bitchslaps Soulmate In Open Letter
Kee-rist what a spineless tool!

I'd have had more respect for Sanford if he'd tossed it all and moved to Argentina.

Chapur got off way luckier than South Carolina. Now they've got to live under this jellyfish until the nex election.
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La Mareada promoted this comment atlasspanked was starred atlasspanked was unstarred

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