In a lengthy post this month dedicated to chewing out the Times for its criticism of him, Honan writes:

Why, this may shock you, but here's the thing: Cocaine is exceptionally fun. LSD? It genuinely alters your perception. I'm not suggesting that you do either of these. Both conspired, unsuccessfully, to kill me and I would no more try either today than I would attempt to put a rattlesnake in my anus. I am older and wiser and recognize that the benefits are not worth the risks. Despite my swinging-dick persona on Twitter, I'm more this guy than that guy. Drugs, especially highly addictive ones like speed or cocaine or heroin or ones with powerful psychological components like LSD, tend to not be worth the price you pay for their use.

We agree! But since the Wired article was all about stimulating brain drugs, the writer's own history might have been worth a mention—particularly after it turned into a controversy, because it serves to strengthen his case against the Times' criticisms, not weaken it. We're on your side, Mat!

And what exactly does a "swinging-dick persona on Twitter" talk about?

"CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said [...] It wasn't immediately clear what the rope was for. He was charged with loitering and criminal possession of a controlled substance. His unusual get-up didn't lead to a lewdness charge because he wasn't exposing himself, the police source said.

"Quest's lawyer, Alan Abramson, had a much more innocuous version of events. 'Mr. Quest didn't realize that the park had a curfew,' Abramson said. He was simply 'returning to his hotel with friends.'" [NYP]

• Foxy Brown's lawyer, state Senator (yes!) John Sampson, who had told the jury that sentenced Brown to a year in jail for violating probation that Brown was three months pregnant, apparently totally lied! [NYP]
  
• The Sex and the City open call audition was a freakshow, as expected. [TMZ]
  
• Designer Marc Jacobs responds to allegations that his show was late because he was having drinks at the Mercer hotel: "That is bullshit! That is bullshit! I was at the fucking office until the last fitting was over. I came back to the hotel — I hadn't been here in three days! I hadn't showered in three days! I slept on the couch in my office for 20 minutes three nights in a row — anyone at my office will tell you that. I got 20 minutes sleep Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night. The first shower I had was Monday at 8 before the rehearsal of our show. I did not have lunch, I did not have drinks, I did not have tea at the Mercer." Okay!! [WWD]

One of the early results of the new study showed big differences in methamphetamine use city to city. One urban area with a gambling industry had meth levels more than five times higher than other cities.

Teaspoon of urine can drug test an entire city [AP]

Update: A reader from Sin City correctly notes: "You commented on how Las Vegas is kicking your ass on meth use. That might be, but the study didn't test our wastewater — they limited it to areas with a population of 600,000 — Las Vegas is much larger. I'm guessing y'all might wanna catch a tour bus to Atlantic City." Or Reno. Or whatever city Mohegan Sun is in, if it is in fact a city. Anyway, the point remains: you people should be doing more meth!

[Update update: Ed. Note: Actually? Las Vegas 2006 city population: 552,539. (Their metro area: 1,777,539.) So yeah, it counts. What, do you think I don't fact-check our drugged-out ramblings?]

Tom Sizemore on Monday was sentenced to 16 months in prison for violating his probation in a drug-related case - though a prosecutor tells PEOPLE the actor will only serve two to seven months should he receive credit for time he's already spent in rehab.

Last week, in anticipation of his sentencing, [Sizemore] tearfully begged Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Cynthia Rayvis not to put him behind bars.

But prosecutors insisted that Sizemore has been given enough breaks, with Deputy District Attorney Sean Carney telling the judge, "I think the time has come for the court to revoke his probation."

"I think it's clear from his record that probation isn't the answer," Carney tells PEOPLE. "He used a Whizzinator, he lied to the court, he has a history of domestic violence and of deceiving the court, and given somebody with that kind of problem, the court needs to send him to the kind of rehab he's not going to be able to walk away from: prison."

The Deputy D.A. clearly has an ax to grind regarding the slippery Sizemore, having been thrown off the trail one too many times by the Whizzinator and similar pee-test-hacking devices. Still, a few months of incarceration might by the cold dose of sober reality the actor needed to get back on track, during which he can maximize his time behind bars bartering for the highest possible price for his exit interview—topping out now at a complimentary Subway spread with all the fixings courtesy of "Martin Bashir and the Gang at Nightline."

• Sizemore Gets 16 Months For Breaking Probation [People]

Tom Sizemore surrendered to a Los Angeles court Tuesday on an arrest warrant for allegedly violating probation.

Sizemore, 45, was arrested on May 8 in Bakersfield, Calif., for investigation of using crystal methamphetamine outside a hotel. He was charged with five drug-related felonies and pleaded not guilty to each on May 22.

But at the time of his arrest, the Black Hawk Down actor was on probation stemming from a conviction of meth possession in October 2004. The Los Angeles District Attorney has asked a judge to revoke the probation.

Sizemore faces 16 months in state prison if it's found that he violated probation.

Sizemore once claimed to have had a tryst with fellow sex tape star Paris Hilton in his home gym/juice bar/sling room, after which she climbed into an awaiting limo with the parting words, "Goin' to Sundance. See you next week." Despite her vehemently denying it at the time, something about the fates of these two probation-flouting ne'er-do-wells seem oddly in sync. We can only hope that Sizemore, like Paris, will choose to make the most of his latest brush with adversity. But who are we kidding: We all know the second they let him out out, he'll head straight back into the embrace of his toothless, tweaking monkey mistress, and it won't be long before the two are spotted playfully chasing each other in and out of the rooms of the Bakersfield Sheraton.

• Tom Sizemore Surrenders to Court [People.com]

Why boil up your drugs in a utilitarian beaker when a Waterford 'Siren' vase is so much more chic?

New York suggests this Alvar Aalto vase as a perfect gift for your in-laws. Even more perfect if your in-laws love tooting up some crank!
However, for the more utility-minded giftee, Santa might want to stick to the basics. Red phosphorus: for the true methamphetamine connoisseur, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

'Crystal' Palace [NYP]
Meth Lab in 'High' Rise [NYDN]

Clearly, we're dealing with a media abuse problem. But there's hope — we happen to know of a few very reputable inpatient programs for these editors.