• The Mirror is reporting that Victoria Beckham will replace Paula Abdul as a judge on American Idol. They say she's already reached an agreement and will do work on the show despite her having expressed a previous desire to work in fashion exclusively. [Mirror]
  
  
• Brad Pitt says that he was a big pothead when he was younger, someone who'd just sit around and smoke all by himself. A "doughnut" is how he puts it. [Mirror]
  
  
• Sex and the City lass Kristin Davis has cut ties with OXFAM after a dispute over her endorsing a product manufactured in a "disputed" territory. [Page Six]
  
  
• So this weight loss company is paying K-Fed a million bucks to use their product and shed some pounds. Maybe this can be a new revenue stream for D-list celebs — pack on a bunch of pounds and then get someone like Jenny Craig to pay you to lose it using their products? [UK Sun]
  
  
• Tony Curtis claims in a new book that he had sex with Marilyn Monroe, which means that every virile man alive in the 1950s and 1960s had sex with Marilyn Monrow at some point, or so it seems anyway. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Method Man is suddenly apologetic for shooting up a fan in Houston after she asked him for an autograph. [TMZ]
  
  
• Former Saved by the Bell star Mark-Paul Gosselaar is giving stage acting a whirl, starring in a new off-Broadway play opening in November called The Understudy. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Before she got knocked up by Jude Law after running into him on the street after a club closed, Samantha Burke was a Hooters girl in Pensacola, Florida. [TMZ]

The incident in question happened last November and, luckily for Anderson, the gun was loaded with only pellets, but still! So now she's suing the anti-autograph, pellet gun-slinging rap star. Reports the Houston Press:

According to the lawsuit, Anderson attended a rap concert where Method Man and Redman were performing.

Afterward, Anderson joined a group of fans outside, where Method Man was signing autographs out of the back window of a bus. When Anderson handed Method Man her ticket stub for him to sign, Method Man suddenly pulled out a pellet gun and began firing, hitting Anderson in the torso, according to the lawsuit.

Anderson's attorney, Daniel Horowitz, tells Hair Balls that Anderson suffered permanent scarring on her chest, stomach and breast area.

"You can't just go around the country shooting people like that," says Horowitz, "and then leave town and not think anything's going to happen."

Yes, you can't just go around the country shooting autograph-seekers with pellet guns Method Man. Geez, why the hell do you think God invented pigeons?

But on another note, what kind of gangsta rapper goes around packing a damn pellet gun? Shouldn't Suge Knight beat his ass down for this?

May 19 @ 9:46am Just saw 50 cent get out of a black SUV on west 56th street and walk into the Parker Meridian hotel. Jeans white tee shirt and a baseball cap, lookin' hot!

• Dylan Ratigan is quitting as CNBC's Fast Money host, supposedly over disagreements with the producer at whom he yelled, during a commercial break, "Don't ask me to talk about every [bleep]ing e-mail that comes up on the screen. I'm not going to host a [bleep]ing TV show that consists of reading [bleep]ing e-mails to [bleep]ing traders... now is an unwelcome time to hear your voice... You lie to me routinely." It's all on tape. Ratigan is widely expected to explore a collaboration with actor Alec Baldwin. [P6]
• Madonna is determined to adopt a second child from Malawi into her stable, nurturing home. (It's not clear if current "boy toy" Jesus Luz will accompany her to Africa.) [Sun]
  
• If you squint at the data just right, Katie Couric's not in last place: Her CBS Evening News beat NBC Nightly News in the New York TV market for the past six months. Page Six, which has enrolled in Fox News' feud with NBC News, is happily trumpeting this tremendous victory. [P6]
  
• Prince William's girlfriend's friend runs some kind of regular orgy party, supposedly. This marks the British Royal Family's first-ever encounter with scandal of a sexual nature. [Sun]
  
• Method Man has the money to pay his taxes, it's just that, like, the self-described pothead has been avoiding opening his mail for the past seven years. There's totally some checks in there! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna showed up to yet another nightspot with yet another guy, and it was reported in yet another tabloid. We get it: The official line is that she's over Chris Brown. Now just please make that actually be true. [P6]
  
• Also: Rihanna got a tattoo of a "tiny gun" above her ribcage. [Scoop]
• Nadya Suleman took two more of her octuplets home from the hospital, but didn't get much attention for it. What a waste. [Us]

“My bark is worse than my bite,” Ms. Williams said of her reputation for exceptionally blunt questions. “I feel as though I’m nice, and that I’m down to earth, and — people like me get taken advantage of. So by being tall and outgoing, people mistake that for being overpowering, overbearing, loud and being a bully. No, no I’m a flower.”

Sure, sure. The Times notes that not only did Williams get herself cussed out by Method Man (for revealing on-air that his wife had cancer), but also that Judge Greg Mathis has "taken her to task." Uh, that's a pretty polite way of describing it. Here's what Williams said about that incident in a 2003 interview:

"I was interviewing Judge Mathis and he called me the F-word and walked out of the studio and that's because I was getting under his skin with an issue very close to home, recalled Williams. "He came to New York to promote his new book and I mentioned to him an article that I had read. Mind you, Judge Mathis and I are friendly. He has been on my show to promote his show. So, when his book came out it was only natural for him to come on my show to promote his book. I mentioned an incident relating to he and an extra marital affair, the use of cocaine by him, marijuana by him, kinky sex, including three-way sex, and he had a fall out with this girl and she alleges that he became physically threatening toward her."...

"You know the saying 'Thou doth protest too much' I watched him show out and everybody was absolutely floored. He went into the other room and at the time I was shooting a pilot for an upcoming VH1 special and my husband was there. So, he stormed out and went to where my employees and my husband was and he was like 'You want some of this too!' It wasn't very judge like. He was more like a guilty defendant."

We'll be watching! Not really.

[NYT]

"You know how uncomfortable that makes somebody feel, especially somebody who's going through chemo? Stupid ass bitch."

[via ConcreteLoop]