In your finally Friday media column: Carlos Slim parsed, a Miami reporter has a bad day, Michael Wolff lives on at Adweek, James Murdoch's board seat in jeopardy, and Disney's CEO will peace out in four years.

When Univision got wind of a story about Marco Rubio's family that the senator didn't want broadcast, the network offered to kill it in exchange for an interview.

In your Memorial Friday media column: the Daily Mail is king of all news, nobody watches TV any more, another departure from The Daily, the NYSE's ridiculous trademark battle, and the Miami Herald sells its house.

In your hope-infested Thursday media column: the Right Nation is not media-friendly, layoffs at the Miami Herald, the NYT PR department is getting poach-y, and an offer of help for stiffed Paste freelancers.

In your arctic Wednesday media column: the NYT freelancers grow restless, News Corp hands out Christmas bonuses, the Miami Herald is sad, fabulous corrections, and layoffs at TNR.

Indie mag Miller-McCune performed mathematical voodoo on a zillion movie reviews to figure out critics' favorite and least favorite actors, as well as which critics are the nicest and the meanest.

Here's a twist on the classic "complain to a reporter's editor" school of aggressive media relations: a male Navy commander has filed a sexual harassment complaint against a female Miami Herald reporter. She called people "bitches!" And much more, allegedly.

In your deluged Monday media column: Conde's heartbreaking receptionist layoff, the Miami Herald is JUST FINE, Lee Abrams is a cuddly animal, and Iceland is so touchy:

"Good" news: a massive real estate developer and a sugar magnate may buy the Miami Herald. Hey, then let's sell the Washington Post to the CIA! This is a CHILLING VISION of newspapers' future.

The Miami Herald just laid copy editor Brayden Simms off. Amazingly, he also wrote a blog for them about saving money in this terrible economy. He wrote a depressing column about how they tricked him into taking a full-time job and then outsourced it to India. Now he is blogging-for the Herald!-about meeting with his…

Talk about coming to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving worst case scenario: a machine-gun wielding man held some Miami Herald employees hostage, forcing others to evacuate. He is now in police custody. The man was identified as Nuevo Herald (the Miami Herald's Spanish-language version) cartoonist Jose Varelas…

• Jes s D az Jr. resigns as publisher of the Miami Herald and El Nuevo Herald as a result of that whole cash-for-propaganda thing. Hopefully the government will give him some nice parting gifts. [Miami Herald]
• Across the pond, the company responsible for the UK versions of Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping and …

Apparently, the golden age of government-journalist payola didn't end with radio host Armstrong Williams and "marriage expert" Maggie Gallagher taking cash to push political agendas. Ten Miami journos — three from El Nuevo Herald, the Spanish-language paper run by the Miami Herald's corporate owner — have been paid by…

A little off our "beat," but pertinent nevertheless: Late yesterday afternoon, suspended Miami Commissioner Art Teele walked into the lobby of the Miami Herald and committed suicide. After instructing a security guard give a message to Jim DeFede (asking the columnist to tell Teele's wife that he loved her), Teele…