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New York, 8:12 PM
Sat Dec 5
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of PaisleyPajamas PaisleyPajamas
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    THE GOLDEN ERA
    Host: Computer-generated imagery of a pioneer of the industry: First up, Charlie Chaplin. Next year, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks co-host.
    Producer: Anyone who made a movie before 1985.
    Ideal Best Picture Winner: Any period piece starring an actor/actress over 40 with a slew of remade classics as runner-up nominees.
    Opening Number: A "We Are The World" type number with a crowd of film stars from the last century singing in unison. Anyone who can sing lyrics from a teleprompter without bifocals and walk on stage without breaking a hip is eligible. Call your agent.
    Clips Reel: In lieu of speeches from any and all winners (stand, take a bow, sit back down--we'll mail your little golden guy), clip reels, montages and more clip reels!
    Log Line: The way we were.
     Reply
    Edited by PaisleyPajamas at 10/20/09 11:12 PM PaisleyPajamas was starred PaisleyPajamas was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    How fast can we greenlight that TMZ Oscars? #oscars
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    THE OSCARS THAT SHOULD BE
    Host: Ricky Gervais
    Producer: Ricky Gervais
    Ideal Best Picture Winner: Can't say yet as the movies I've seen: Jennifer's Body, An Education, 500 Days of Summer, The Hurt Locker, Transformers: ROTF, Public Enemies, Taken, The September Issue, none really stands out as the best of anything.
    Opening Number: Ricky riffing on the death of the studios and the star system as studio heads and aging former powerhouses cringe in their seats.
    Clips Reel: None. The show is too long as is
    Log Line : The truth and nothing but the truth, so help us all #oscars
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of pureblarney pureblarney
    10/21/09

    @bess marvin, girl detective:

    Host: Ricky Gervais
    Producer: Karl Pilkington
    Ideal Best Picture Winner: Give Pixar what it fucking deserves... Up
    Opening Number: Stephen Merchant doing the robot
    Clips Reel: Spoof of Twilight
    Log Line: Laugh & Let Die #oscars
     Reply
    pureblarney was starred pureblarney was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Zombie Norman Maine #oscars
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
    Image of WW719 WW719
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Very funny. You forgot the Sci Fi Oscars, though, with Spielberg producing and Carrie Fisher hosting dressed as Princess Leia while interjecting tales of her alcohlic adventures. #oscars
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight approved this comment WW719 was starred WW719 was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    10/20/09

    @WW719: Spielberg reminds me:
    The Holocaust Oscars, where no one has a good time but every film is a winner. #oscars
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of Wendy_Kroy Wendy_Kroy
    10/20/09

    @naugahydeinplainsight: EVERY Oscars is the Holocaust Oscars. Has there ever been a Holocaust-related documentary/short/feature that didn't earn an award? #oscars
     Reply
    Wendy_Kroy was starred Wendy_Kroy was unstarred
    Image of RonMwangaguhunga RonMwangaguhunga
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Zombie Frank Sinatra would kick any of these newbie actor's asses and all that mother jazz. #oscar
     Reply
    RonMwangaguhunga was starred RonMwangaguhunga was unstarred
    Image of Maura Johnston Maura Johnston
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Per Nikki's site, it's going to be Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic (and they have final say over the host): [www.deadline.com]
     Reply
    Edited by Maura Johnston at 10/20/09 4:10 PM Maura Johnston was starred Maura Johnston was unstarred
    Image of Maura Johnston Maura Johnston
    10/20/09

    @Maura Johnston: (also, Diddy is not "gangsta.") #oscars
     Reply
    Maura Johnston was starred Maura Johnston was unstarred
    Image of Beau Nerd Beau Nerd
    10/20/09

    @Maura Johnston: But he *is* the macaroni with the cheese. Close enough. #oscars
     Reply
    Beau Nerd was starred Beau Nerd was unstarred
    Image of Wendy_Kroy Wendy_Kroy
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    I read a bio of Peter O'Toole that said he almost left the theatre before accepting his lifetime achievement award in protest of the strict no-alcohol policy at the Oscar venue; he was only mollified to stay when a PA smuggled in some hooch. Anyway, I heartily embrace your vote for a more dipsomaniacal ceremony a la the Globes - though to customize the event even further, the centerpieces of the guests' tables could consist of silver trays filled with white powder (which Wolfgang Puck could mold into the shape of the statuette and sprinkle with gold dust). #oscar
     Reply
    Wendy_Kroy was starred Wendy_Kroy was unstarred
    Image of TheBusinessGuy TheBusinessGuy
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Bring on Zombie Bob Hope as host and give out the scientific and technical awards at the main event. Oh, and let Zombie Allan Carr stage the production numbers. No one will want to watch anything else. #oscar
     Reply
    TheBusinessGuy was starred TheBusinessGuy was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Richard, this is a riot! #oscar
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    And here I thought NPH was the answer to all award-show woes... #oscar
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    10/20/09

    @DahlELama: Yeah, what you said. #oscar
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    10/20/09

    @belltolls: But try to say it three times, fast. #oscar
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    10/20/09

    @DahlELama: What about NPH and Christopher Walken and Catherine Zeta-Jones in a big tapdance number? #oscars
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    10/20/09

    @raincoaster: You had me at Christopher Walken. So, so sold. #oscars
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    10/20/09

    @DahlELama: Can't find him in Night of 1000 Stars, but here he is dancing to Fatboy Slim. #oscars
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of Xylo Xylo
    10/20/09

    @raincoaster: Waaant. #oscars
     Reply
    Xylo was starred Xylo was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    10/20/09

    In reply to The Defamer Guide to Saving the Oscars
    Very clever Richard. But you know the real answer: NPH and a category Oscar dispenser format.
     Reply
    Edited by belltolls at 10/20/09 3:53 PM belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    10/20/09

    @belltolls: Well, now it just looks like I copied you, doesn't it? Damn edit button. #oscar
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    10/20/09

    @DahlELama: I was given a choice of making myself look bad or my beloved DahlE look bad: I chose you. #oscar
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of Thatcornellguy Thatcornellguy
    09/17/09

    In reply to "Dad, I'm Late for Home Room"
    Heyyyy...this isn't Key West!
     Reply
    Thatcornellguy was starred Thatcornellguy was unstarred
    Image of NigelAstydameia NigelAstydameia
    09/17/09

    In reply to "Dad, I'm Late for Home Room"
    "New Muppet Operates Without Hand Up Ass."
     Reply
    Edited by NigelAstydameia at 09/17/09 1:59 PM NigelAstydameia was starred NigelAstydameia was unstarred
    Image of ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
    09/17/09

    In reply to "Dad, I'm Late for Home Room"
    Crap; I'm wearing those sneakers right now. Looks like I have to cut off my feet and change my name.

    But, no... Seriously. Michael Cera's pretty alright.
     Reply
    Edited by ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ at 09/17/09 12:37 PM ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was starred ♥AntiSocialSocialite♥ was unstarred
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