Lindsay Lohan's Dad: Blogging

Uh-oh: it's the brand-new blog of Lindsay Lohan father/religious fanatic/jailed DUI-er Michael Lohan. Don't hope for gossip, however: "let me say that this website is NOT about Lindsay or Samantha." More »

Bono's Teen Facebook Scandal

• Fashion student Andrea Feick, 19, met U2 singer Bono in a club on the French Rivieria, met up with him later in St. Tropez, walked on the beach with him, posed for a picture in a bikini from his lap and rode on his yacht. She can't believe anyone would insinuate they might be more than friends. He's "much older than I am!" Think that will work on Bono's wife? [Mail]

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Where Is Thou Shalt Not Wipe Thyself With Cardboard In The Ten Commandments, Michael Lohan?

So, this was touched on in yesterday's gossip roundup and again today but I don't think we've quite managed to capture the gravity of the situation: Samantha Ronson wipes herself with the cardboard roll when she runs out of toilet paper and Michael Lohan is possessed by Satan or Scientologists. Now, full disclosure, I have long harbored a personal weakness for Samantha Ronson, who has an awkward paparazzi face and blogs in complete sentences because she was born during the Carter Administration and is also the only celebrity I endorse in white jeans. But I was also counterintuitively fond of Michael Lohan, until he used this nasty little piece of information to ahem smear his daughter's DJ girlfriend in the F-list tabloid press. "Have you ever seen her apartment?" he demanded — I guess not rhetorically? — of someone at the paparazzi agency X17. "For God's sake, when she runs out of toilet paper she tells people to use the cardboard roll. (I was told this first hand)."* More »

AUDIO: Lindsay Lohan FINALLY Confirms Relationship With Samantha Ronson

After months of open canoodling with celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has stopped playing coy about whether the two of them are in a relationship, finally confirming the news on (of all places) last night's episode of the radio show Loveline. And she wasn't even prompted by the harsh interrogation techniques of Dr. Drew, either! No, Lohan — who had the phone passed to her after Ronson called in to discuss her hospitalized friend DJ AM — was caught flat-footed after an innocent question by Dr. Drew's cohost, Stryker. More »

Bitchy NBC Newsers Now Jealous Of Luke Russert

The Hot Accessory No Starlet Can Be Without: A Bad Dad

Though Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff have been rivals for so long that no one can even remember how it began (wait, Aaron Carter? Really?), there's at least one thing the two starlets can agree on this week: their dads each need a serious time-out. In fact, while Lohan took to the pages of MySpace to chastise her father, Duff's received an actual sentencing: ten days in the slammer for poor parenting. Before we explore why, though, let's begin with the latest in the Lohan family psychodrama, which reached its boiling point this week when a fame-hungry Michael Lohan took to the press to denounce the woman who his daughter has "gone gay" for: Samantha Ronson. That didn't sit so well with Lindsay, who made a scathing rebuttal today on her Myspace celebrity blog: More »

Anne Hathaway's Trembling Feelings For Barack Obama

For First Time Ever, Lindsay Lohan Not Rushed To Hospital, Sam Ronson Not A Bitch

Just when things seemed to be coming up roses for Lindsay Lohan, none other than (surprise!) Mother of the Century Dina has jumped on the chance to turn two otherwise non-items into full-out scandals reminiscent of Lohan’s cokepants days. First, reports surfaced that her cigarette- and hickey-delivery girl Sam Ronson refused to play vocally challenged Ali Lohan’s new single at a DJ’ing gig last week because she felt the song was “really bad.” Not exactly breaking news, right? Thanks to Dina and Living Lohan, we already know anything Ali squeaks out won’t turn her into the next Whitney Houston (or even the next Lindsay). Then, over the weekend, TMZ reported that Lohan and Ronson were victims of a hit-and-run bicyclist while taking an innocent walk home after a night out in New York, ending with Lohan in the hospital. And so what? It’s not like Lohan was the hitter-and-runner, and any hospital stay without the phrases “asthma attack” or “fainting spell” attached to it is fine by us. But courtesy of both Michael Lohan and Dina's consistently yapping mouths, we will know have the pleasure of associating both stories with the phrase, “bull doodie”: More »

Tiredcrotch

[Just a regular college student before his gorgon mother MeDina (get it??) dragged him in front of a camera for her stupid reality show, Michael Lohan (brother of lesbo Lindsay) is photographed leaving the Beatrice Inn last night; image via INF] More »

First Photos Of Lindsay Lohan's Newest Enemy (And Possible Half-Sister) Emerge

A brief refresher course in what's currently going on in the wild world of the Lohans: Lindsay's dad, Michael, apparently banged some woman when he was separated from Lindsay's mom. The lady he banged had a child. Yesterday, Michael took a paternity test to see if the child is his. We're still waiting on that verdict, but stop the presses ... OK! Magazine has the first photos of Lindsay's potential half-sister Ashley! More »

Dina Lohan, Mother Of The Century: ''Hot' Is Not In My Vocabulary'

Last night’s Living Lohan was all about Ali and her glass-breaking array of vocal talents. The happy family, which is somehow shrinking and growing simultaneously every day now, is still taking Las Vegas by storm as each member’s collective talents go into creating International Superstar-Turned-Trainwreck number two. Little Cody helps out by distracting Dina with adolescent silliness like concussions and that all-too-common need to be “loved,” Ali helps broaden the franchise by doing her best Daddy Left Us And I’m Gonna Record My Angst- And Nicotine-Laced Breakdowns For You! rehashing of Lindsay’s already perfected musical adventures, and Dina grants us with another round of must-have parenting lessons: More »

Lindsay Lohan's 'Secret Half-Sister' Surfaces, Michael Lohan Excitedly Fuels Rumor's Truthiness

Not that claims like these are shocking when you’re part of that wild fame-chasing bunch currently Living Lohan, but Star is reporting that one of Michael Lohan's old flings has taken a paternity test to prove her 13-year old daughter is the newest member of everyone’s favorite dysfunctional family. According to the mag, a Montana woman named Kristi Kaufmann is coming forward to “make sure the truth comes out...‘My daughter has a right to know who her father is — and it’s Michael.’” Now married to a new cowboy hat-wearing realtor, the 44-year old’s claims aren’t exactly being denied by the wig-loving Born Again. Michael’s ambiguous response, and whether or not the details and timing supplied by Kaufmann support the possibility that Lindsay Lohan has yet another little sister who will inevitably want to "be just like her," after the jump. More »

Michael Lohan Backhandedly Blesses Lindsay's Lesbian Love Affair

In case you hadn’t heard, the most titillating story to come out of Cannes this year had nothing to do with film and everything to do with DJ/DUI heroine Sam Ronson allegedly playing tongue twister with her roomie and long-term girlfriend Lindsay Lohan. But after seeing the so-called scandalous pictures in question, we have yet to see this "liplock". We’ve given many a girlfriend a tipsy hug in our time and, well, that just does not a lesbian make. Not that our opinion matters — Michael Lohan’s does! The wig-fetishizing Born Again has turned up to set the record straight once and for all: “[Their] relationship ‘is evident to anyone with half a brain...[Lindsay] is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God.’” Sure, Michael isn't the most reliable source to confirm that these two are in fact dating, but on the eve of the infamous photos of Lindsay passed out in the front seat of Sam's car, we attempt to analyze their often romantic, often turbulent relationship over the years. More »

Is Lindsay Lohan In a Lesbian Relationship? Her Father Thinks So

After photos surfaced recently of actress Lindsay Lohan and her extremely close best friend, DJ Samantha Ronson, old school necking in Cannes, the LiLoLesbo rumors have been back in full swing. As anyone who is a homosexual can tell you, parents are often the best place to get the inside scoop on their child's same-sex sex life. And Lindsay's estranged father, former prison-yard dreamer Michael, is no exception. He says that their sexy clam-on-clam relationship is "evident to anyone with half a brain." So, there you go. Unfortunately her mother Dina and sister Ali, stars of their own Peabody shoo-in E! series Living Lohan, do not find it evident ("it's pathetic what people say," says Ali. Whatever that means.) I guess that means that, um, heh, heh, they do not have half a brain. Or, you know, the deadbeat dad just doesn't really know what's going on in his daughter's life and is left with only conjecture and speculation. Sigh. And us? We're sort of excited that Lindsay Lohan might be a lesbian (or is at least the non-college-attending equivalent of a LUG). You go, Ellen. More »

Just Give Michael Lohan Your Boobs And An Amen Already

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Nothing Eases The Stress Of Having A Rebellious Starlet Daughter Like A Good Penis Piercing

Not a day goes by without a dozen blind items stirring up rumors about the newest Hollywood heroin addict or closeted anchor with sex swings in his office, but there is one very rare kind of bold face name-less rumor that catches our eye. And it has to do with "celebrity dads," "piercings," and "nether regions." As the NY Post Just Asks this morning:

Which celebrity dad is just as rebellious as his starlet daughter? The troubled parent wears a ring through a piercing on his nether regions.

After the jump, we present our top five suspects, their odds, and invite you to place your bets. More »

Sadly, our cinematic dreams of Britney Spears and Mel Gibson making movie magic together will remain dreams for now. The odd couple's meeting in LA over the weekend was neither a business meeting nor a date, according to a People source: "There are no expectations, there is no agenda. It's simply an act of human kindness - one neighbor reaching out to the other." Maybe it's just us, but we're not exactly sure Britney needs a life counselor who's an alleged neo-Nazi, let alone one who's fond of calling lady cops Sugar Tits. Then again, he does have two years of sobriety under his belt. That and he's surely got it a bit more together than Michael Lohan. We guess you gotta take what you can get in these trouble-laden times. [People]

Mike Myers' Secret Heartbreak: The Tears Behind All Those Laughs

Feeling hungry? Try snacking on our Dirt Sandwich, a wild and woolly compilation of the moments in celebrity infotainment programming this week that made us simultaneously groan, chuckle and hurl. As always, we demand politely beg Intrepid Defamer Videographer™ Molly McAleer to watch hours of Harvey Levin's babbling in order to bring you the week's best and worst moments. This week's reel includes the secrets behind Mike Myers' "informal spiritual quest" (whatever the fuck that means), Mark McGrath uttering the word "Fattergories" and the revelation of "which Hollywood hottie has THE best bod in the biz" (which, btw, is a question that comes up several times per day here at Defamer HQ). Enjoy! More »

Basically Anyone Can Get Into Waverly Inn Now

Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter is apparently handing out Waverly Inn tables to anyone, as though he doesn't mind his "hot" restaurant showing up so much on has-beens portal DListed.com. Guido and Jesus freak Stephen Baldwin was just spotted coming out of the restaurant without the help of a bouncer. He followed in the footsteps of Michael Lohan, the desperate estranged father of Lindsay, and actor and drunken scooter jockey Mickey Rourke. Sure, it would be easy to blame Carter's new executive assistant for the influx of lesser celebrities, but an eventual decline for Waverly has probably been in the cards since the beginning. Maybe the naysaying food critics were right: More »

Michael Lohan Would Like You To Know Exactly Which Pills Lindsay Is Taking And Why

Michael Lohan is back and he's looking for trouble. Not only has he allegedly revealed all the prescription medications Lindsay has ever taken to In Touch, he also claims he's chosen not to view the NY Mag photo shoot because he's such a good dad. So, dare we ask, what advice does he have for his darling daughter and all the other lost souls out there? "Most of these young people shouldn't be on some of these medications, they should be getting spiritual guidance, counseling and exercise." Not only does Michael know just what's good for you, he's qualified to give out medical advice! The only difference between Michael and a real doctor? That pesky doctor-patient confidentiality thing. More »

Lindsay Lohan Is The Reason For The Season