Bill Kristol, the man who is wrong about everything, in the world, consistently, thinks that this is the right strategy. Or, at least, he thinks that the entire speech was Barack Obama admitting that George Bush and Bill Kristol were right about everything and Michael Moore is fat. Maybe?

It seems a little weird, to us, that a blog post on the most important foreign policy issue of the day, written for "the Foreign Policy Initiative," opens with a Michael Moore quote, in order to make fun of Michael Moore, but we are not respected conservative thinker Bill Kristol, so what do we know?

Anyway. Bill Kristol thinks an Afghanistan troop surge is a good idea so basically this will be Vietnam 2. (3? 4?)

• After all the build-up, the actual film seems rather beside the point. But New Moon is here and looking to do the box office what vampires do to their victims, except not leaving them dead, but rather filled up with money. The second installment of the Twilight series has already become the all time online ticket sales champion. In it's opening weekend it is expected to rake in in the range of $85 million domestic, although there is some buzz that it could, just possibly, if we can dare to dream, break the magic $100 million opening weekend figure. [Hollywood Reporter]

• And if you are worried that what with there only being a couple Harry Potter movies left and Twilight being half over, that we might soon be running out of fantasy mega-cycles at our multiplexes, set your mind at ease, help is on the way. Lorenzo di Bonaventura yesterday nailed the rights to produce a film adaptation of the six chapter literary fantasy series The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. Bonaventura, Variety notes, presided over the launch of the Potter series which has currently grossed $5.38 billion worldwide while he was head of production at Warner Brothers. [Variety]

• Oscar's got a new director. The fantastically named Hamish Hamilton, veteran of directing live concert events will take the Academy's baton under producers Bill Mechanic and Adam Shankman. [Variety]

• The Academy however, majorly dissed its once darling Michael Moore. His latest installment of the Michael Moore Yells at The Rich cycle Capitalism, A Love Story, failed to make the short list of 15 films up for the Best Documentary prize. The list which included favorites Valentino: The Last Emperor, The Cove and Every Little Step, will be winnowed down to five nominees in February. [The Wrap]

• Forbes has done the math on the most-overpaid stars in Hollywood, coming up with a showbiz equivalent of a PE ratio, calculating how much their movies gross for every dollar they are paid. Topping the list: Will Ferrell whose films earn a mere $3.29 for every dollar he has paid. [Forbes]

• The New York Times reports on how early very obscure Oscar buzz for Jeff Bridges' performance as a country singer in Crazy Heart transformed a movie that its distributor had deemed unreleasable into a major awards contender. [NY Times]

• Asked in an interview with CNBC's Erin Burnett about the pending sale of NBC/Universal to Comcast, CEO Jeff Zucker was tight lipped, saying "I'm incredibly interested to see what will happen...Time will tell." Asked about his decision to upend NBC's schedule with the Jay Leno Experiment, Zucker deflected the question, focusing on the show's spin, saying he thought it was unfortunate that the move had been portrayed as part of a cost-cutting strategy and that its just about making great shows. His team is focused on doing "whatever it takes to put on the best television," he said, which is something less than saying either "We are committed to giving Jay as long as he needs to find an audience" or, on the other hand, "What the hell have we done!?" [Hollywood Reporter]

In Moore's story—which, we remind you again, was an amusing anecdote delivered on a late-night comedy talk show program—he went to Chavez's hotel room to ask him to please quiet down and ended up partying with him all night. They consumed a bottle and a half of tequila. And the punchline was that Chavez's speech to the UN was made up mostly of things Moore said to him, while drunk.

Now. According to the public record, Chavez and Moore met in Venice for three hours during the day. And also Chavez is a teetotaler.

Obviously, Marxists are not happy with Moore.

Franz JT Lee, a Marxist academic and blogger, claimed that the film-maker's comments were "part of the United States' 'war of ideas'" against Venezuela, and said similar "propaganda" led to the rise of the Nazis in 1930s Germany.

Right. Well. Michael Moore himself is not happy with people repeating this made-up anecdote he told, though! He claims that the bit where the meeting happened late at night, and not during the day, is true! He does not make any claims about the rest of it, with the tequila and the speech. But the time of day, though, that is rock solid.

Obviously Moore is a liar who hates America and we must always remember that even when he has a legitimate point to make about anything. (He is fat, too.)

Commence arguing!

In the middle of the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression, American handed over $35.3 million worthof its unemployment payments to Vaughn, Favreau and the gang. And honestly, its not for us we grieve; its for the children, who the reckless audiences of this weekend have thus doomed to approximately 27 more Vaughn films featuring him being hectored by a dismally joyless spouse who forces him to go somewhere uptight and boring, disrupting his playtime with even more hapless sidekick who is being driven close to suicide by his even more dismally joyless spouse. The children of tomorrow, when they reach PG-13 eligibility, will look back on the decisions America made today and curse our spirits, willing us to wander the earth unburied and unmourned for all eternity.

In their write-ups, the box office pundits are all but dying to avert their eyes from the Vaureau nightmare and talk about the far more trendworthy story of Paranormal Activity's viral driven success. Playing in college towns on a mere 160 screens (compared to Couples Retreat's 3000), the low-budget horror film raked in 7.1 million dollars, a number that Box Office Mojo's Brandon Gray says,

broke the minor record for highest-grossing weekend ever for a movie playing at less than 200 theaters, exceeding Platoon's $3.7 million at 174 sites (which would be on par adjusted for ticket-price inflation).

There's nothing the showbiz press likes better than a marketing phenomenon. It's been a decade since Blair Witch came along and turned the dominant paradigm on its head and changed showbiz forever, kinda. I mean, it was huge, right?...And three years since Snakes on a Plane reset..since Snakes on a Plane....Well, anyway.

Also astounding on the weekend chart is the number of recently mega-hyped films that seem miles away from catching fire. Bruce Willis' big-budget Surrogates is fading away in the 30 million range, likely a fraction of the total cost. Miles of ink and solid word of mouth don't seem to be able to propel Whip It over the ten million line, Fame is sputtering away at 20. And the latest Michael Moore is losing steam at 9 million; swell for a doc but less than a tenth his Fahrenheit heights.

Opening the questionably titled "Jobs Wanted, Any Jobs At All," we learn that Kristy and Katie Barry are from Ohio, have applied for 100 jobs, and haven't had an interview in a year. They're "not wishing on milkwood seeds." They have $39K in student loans to repay. Are they doing everything wrong?

Besides sending Buckeyes out to prospective employers, emailing, Craiglisting, attempting to network in a softball league, an improv class, Facebook, and hanging out with people who are both sleeping in a museum as part of an exhibition (!!!) and spending $600 on an aptitude test to figure out what they're good at to start an online business? No. Forgivable things. Because big dreams require big chances.

Their dream is to work together in sports reporting or have a TV show, but they are flexible. They talk of teaching piano, or inventing, say, a lipstick-case microphone...The other day, a brainstorm hit. They would devise a blog called Twin Town, write about their lives and invite guest material, somehow woo advertisers.

Julia Allison's culpability aside, the Metro desk's just having a field day, now. The girls live with their brother and a friend on the Upper West Side. They've held down bartending jobs and dogwalking jobs. Except, "held down" might be overstating the case:

She works as a bartender, three nights a week, at Dive 75 on West 75th Street, making about $800 a week. Katie had been working at another bar, but was fired in June after landing in Cancun to begin a vacation. Her boss said she played the music too loud.

Forget the Cancun vaycay. $800 a week is $3200/month. There are writers working seven days a week who net about that. Ahem. Many young New Yorkers skim their taxes, but (read below) they don't: she's netting around $2200, presumably. Her rent on the Upper West Side in a pad split between her sister, her brother, and a friend is $725 (discomfort of a 2Br/1B aside, a great deal). That's $1475. Minus a monthly Metrocard, $80 for a smartphone bill, $30 for utilities (split between four, an over-estimation), and $200 for groceries (which, again: generous) leaves $1,083. And that student loan! Let's pretend Rutgers are Pound o' Flesh Shylocks. $500 a month. Fuckit, let's say you get mugged for $100 a week. That leaves you $183, and four days a week to bitch about not having a job. But instead, you're living like Oliver Twist?

A guy who manages a tomato-canning plant gives them canned tomatoes, olive oil and coconut milk. An accountant ex-boyfriend of Kristy's does their taxes. He also sends gifts, like a CD to learn Russian, although Kristy has never expressed even tepid interest in learning Russian. They, in turn, rake the leaves at his New Jersey home and wash his car.

Assuming this is true, "Will the guy who manages the tomato canning plant and keeps Kristy and Katy in free tomatoes, olive oil, and coconut milk get fired for stealing?" asks Lindsay Robertson at Daily Intel. "The Times actually used his name!" I don't see that in the article now, but how many managers of tomato-canning plants with loss-prevention blips out there can there be? So now the girls may be costing other people jobs.

Whoops. These girls need some advice. What would fellow Midwesterner Michael Moore have to say to them? Funny you should ask. They ran into him. With the reporter. They ran into Michael Moore with the reporter. I won't ruin that moment for you, but needless to say, he imparts some Yoda-like wisdom that ends with this:

He said, "Thank you very much and good luck."

Good luck, indeed. It's not like they're reinforcing every ridiculous stereotype about Midwesterners, jetsetting to Cancun, and letting the Times profile your starry-eyed misadventures. Maybe it's just not where you're at, but where you're from. And I'm not talking about Ohio. Let Gawker Employment Services help guide the way. You should start by hitting up that reporter for a connect.

This went out ten days ago:

Subject: [j2007] CAREERS - NYTimes, ProPublica, Chron of Higher Ed, NY
Post and more
To: J school class of 2007

Graduates:

We'd like to share some noteworthy openings for your perusal. Most
have time-sensitive deadlines.

1. The New York Times Syndicate is looking for a full-time Editorial
Assistant to replace Megan Goth, '08, who has left. The Syndicate has
hired a string of J-School grads in the past few years. This wing of
the Times is more magazine-like in structure and duties; the EA job is
a magazine-editor-track job rather than a writing job. This is from
Patti Sonntag, who is the Managing Editor of The New York Times
Syndicate: "The NYT Syndicate distributes news and features to more
than 2,000 newspapers and other media in about 80 countries. Our star
columnists include Christopher Hitchens, Jack Welch and Mikhail
Gorbachev. We also maintain partnerships with numerous magazines,
including Harvard Business Review, The Economist and Prospect. We're
looking for an editorial assistant who aspires to a career as an
editor. While there is a significant clerical component to the job,
we consider our EAs to be editors-in-training, responsible for
maintaining news wires and editing columns. Other duties include
providing support to partner newspapers and magazines, answering
salespeople's queries about rights to articles, and assisting the
photo editors. EAs are often granted considerable responsibilities if
they demonstrate consistent attention to detail, abilities as a copy
editor and line editor, and a general commitment to excellence. EAs
are paid on an hourly basis. Fluency in Spanish is a plus, as is
knowledge of Excel, Photoshop, InDesign and other programs. Start date
is Nov. 1. Please submit a cover letter and resume asap to Patti
Sonntag, managing editor, at sonntpe@nytimes.com . //

Hey! And there are more where those came from (I've put them in our comments). Maybe it's not their fault after all.

Then again, in the last graf was this:

They had had a meeting with Deadspin, a sports blog, but no real jobs there, just the suggestion to join an Australian football team and write about it.

You should really just take the good ideas when you get them.

Moore's press train began last week on Good Morning America, when he took some time to rail against the show's use of "permalancers," a group that's basically permanent, but don't get the benefits and, therefore, count as the underdog. It was all very amusing and true, and provided Moore with a great excuse when CBS "canceled" his appearance on tomorrow's Early Show. From a tweet Moore posted Sunday morning:

Backlash Begins: CBS has cancelled [sic] me on its Mon. morning show. After I criticized ABC/Disney on GMA, they didn't want me to do same to CBS.

While that could be true, CBS bookers tell media scallywag Rachel Sklar that they never booked him. Moore's people, though, tell a different story: they were negotiating a firm date with CBS, but then CBS got all diva about getting the sit-down after GMA already landed Moore:

I can accurately say that the bookers who book the show have definitely been in discussion with us to have him on the show. When we attempted to confirm the booking they said they didn't want to follow GMA.

Hmmm. So, Moore, we're assuming, knew CBS had said they didn't want to follow GMA, but tweeted that the network was scared of his inflammatory nature. Why are we not surprised?

Anyway, Moore's assertion, however valid, only brings the spotlight back to him, which is good when you're promoting a movie. And the movie's doing well, by the way: it opened with about $306,000 on four screens. That's the higher per-theater average for the year. Love him or hate him, Moore's a hit machine.

Did CBS Cancel Michael Moore? [Mediaite]

Pandorum
The Story: Two astronauts wake up on a space ship to find they can not remember why they are there. And a monster is attacking them.
The Pitch: Alien meets Momento
Who It's For: Screamers; people with other things they can do during the movie.
Cause for Hope: Remarkably, stars Dennis Quaid; films set on a space ship get an automatic gentleman's C.
Cause for Concern: Produced by Paul WS Resident Evil Anderson.
Residual Cause for Hope: Produced by not directed by Anderson
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 2

SURROGATES trailer in HD

Surrogates
The Story: In the future, people live life through robot versions of themselves. But when someone starts killing the robots, future cop Bruce Willis must investigate.
The Pitch Westworld meets Streets of San Francisco
Who It's For: Nerds who like to dream about having sex with robots.
Cause for Hope: Director Jonathan Mostow helmed that better-than-expected Terminator 3.
Cause for Concern: You've probably seen every single frame of this film in four to twelve other movies.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 3

Fame
The Story: The kids of Performing Arts High dare to dream.
The Pitch: Fame meets High School Musical
Who It's For: Every aspiring dance crew in America.
Cause for Hope: Stars So You Think You Can Dance's Kherington Payne.
Cause for Concern: The sound of Bruno Martelli and Alan Parkers' ghosts crying out in agony will haunt your dreams forever.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 7 (It's the song. We can't help ourselves.)

Capitalism: A Love Story
The Story: That lovable cut-up Michael Moore is back, this time poking fun at everyone's favorite economic paradigm: capitalism.
The Pitch::Michael Moore meets Michael Moore with a bit of Michael Moore thrown in for good measure.
Who It's For: The already converted.
Cause for Hope: If this is your cup of tea, your cup will runneth over.
Cause for Concern: The hammer fell off the sledgehammer Moore uses to write his jokes.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 5

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men
The Story: A researcher decides to study mens' desires in a series of taped interviews.
The Pitch: My Dinner With Andre meets High Fidelity
Who It's For: People who like to be seen thinking big thoughts.
Cause for Hope: It can't actually last forever.
Cause for Concern: David Foster Wallace, the big screen version! The Office's Jim trying to outrun his day job. Did he mention he went to Brown?
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 2

Coco Before Chanel
The Story: Headstrong young Coco dreams of shaking up fashion.
The Pitch:: La Vie en Rose meets Devil Wears Prada
Who It's For: Those who like to swoon to period design.
Cause for Hope: Looks harmlessly charmante.
Cause for Concern: Isn't this why God invented made for cable movies?
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 5

I Hope The Serve Beer in Hell
The Story: The adventures of internet cretin Tucker Max
The Pitch:: Porkys meetsa snuff film purchased for three dollars out of a box on the sidewalk in the East Village
Who It's For: The aspiring date rapist next door.
Cause for Hope: This will almost certainly be the end of Tucker Max's film career.
Cause for Concern: You will still share a Universe with him.
Gawker Enthusio-Meter: 0

The New York Observer's moving again. It went from an UES townhouse to a normalish Flatiron office building to, now, an office building on West 44th street between 8th and 9th. Owned by Jared Kushner! His quote: "If I'm paying rent, I'd rather pay it to myself." That man, he has the soul of a poet, I tell ya.


O ho, the Washington Post Magazine has been "revamped" for our dynamic modern age, and it's reportedly "A truly solid product for Columbia Heights hipsters, McLean mommies and everyone in between." So, upwardly mobile 24-38 year-old whites living in the DC metro area will enjoy it!


Michael Moore made a movie about how rich people are bad but then he had a party for it in.........a Ritzy Manhattan Penthouse! To be fair, most of the media people that go to these Ritzy Manhattan Penthouse parties would never show up to a party at a homeless shelter, so cut the dude some slack.



Watch CBS Videos Online
Shucks, Katie Couric's "highly hyped 44-minute Webcast sit-down with Glenn Beck" did not turn out to be the journalistic tour de force that some had hoped for. Rather, critics say, it was a bit soft. Hard to believe Katie Couric would be a bit soft, Haha, get it? Because really she is.

• Tyra Banks sat down with Larry King last night and revealed her deepest, darkest secret: she likes being naked. Unless the lighting's bad. Then she goes on a Naomi-esque rampage. Also, she's not Oprah, although Tyra tells King he doesn't need to use her last name. [CNN]
  
  
• Paparazzi under attack! Two photographers claim Tom Brady and Gisele's security guards opened fire on them after they shot pictures of the super couple's post-wedding bash in March. Now they want $1 million. [NYDN]
  
  
• Director Mike Tollin, who has a football-centric documentary coming out on ESPN, argues that Donald Trump killed the short-lived, 80s-era United States Football League, of which his New Jersey Generals were a part, by having it compete with real football. Trump, naturally, dismissed Tollin's work as "third-rate." [Page Six]
  
  
• Big congrats to underrated couple Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze, Jr: they just welcomed their first child, a girl named Buffy. Psyche. the little bundle's being called Charlotte. [Us]
  
  
• Someone hired Alexandra Richards to DJ for three hours, but she left after nearly 40 minutes so that she could eat dinner with friends. Then, when the club refused to pay for the whole time, Richards charged by the minute. We know prostitutes that do that, too. [Page Six]
  
  
• Woody Harrelson became a vegan to fix his acne. [Page Six]
  
  
• Chloe Sevigny has found herself a new man: Jason Segel, who's on that show that also stars Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother. [Page Six]
  
  
• Howard K. Stern's in even more trouble over Anna Nicole Smith's death: prosecutors will reportedly five more felony charges against him for his alleged role in her descent into drug addiction and "pharmaceutical suicide." For the record, that's a total of 11 felony charges he's facing. [TMZ]
  
  
• Geri Halliwell wants the world to at least think there could be a Spice Girls reunion. Maybe to keep us all in line? [3am]
  
  
• The perpetually confused Mischa Barton was going to the opera the other night, saw a red carpet and just started walking it, then realized it was the Alice Tully Hall premiere of Michael Moore's new movie and then booked it to the opera's venue, a little place called the Metropolitan Opera House. Poor thing. [Page Six]

SPOILER: Yes!

After a preview screening last week (at which I did a Q&A session with Michael), he came over to my home for a late night bite. Over lasagna, he told me about an incident that occurred while he was filming that exemplifies how the economic crisis cannot be looked at through a left vs right prism.

That incident: When Michael Moore realized that Arianna Huffington has been a fervent Republican and a fervent Democrat, yet she's still incredibly wealthy.

Kidding! It was just some more boring rote blowjobby talking point tripe from Arianna, as always. The real scandal is this whole "I had Michael Moore over to my house for lasagna" bit.

1. Arianna Huffington eats lasagna? And/ or cooks it? Highly doubtful.
2. Were her interns also invited to eat lasagna?
3. Michael Moore wasn't even a tiny bit embarrassed that Arianna Huffington—knowing she would be meeting him that day—made sure to have her kitchen stocked with lasagna? Who's to say he doesn't like carrot juice? He's a man, not Garfield. Come on, dude. Still, he took the lasagna.
[Pic: AP]

Counterpoint to Michael Moore's analysis of the US newspaper industry's problems: He forgot about Craigslist, and also, newspapers in Britain are having a shitty time too, contrary to his assertions that their reliance on circulation revenue meant their quality stayed high and, therefore, so did their revenue.. Hopefully this will spark some sort of outburst from Michael Moore, is the point.


The Sun-Times, a typical flailing newspaper company, has the good fortune to be wanted, by a buyer. But that buyer put forth a package of cutbacks, and the unions of various Sun-Times papers are rejecting those cutbacks. Which, to be fair, certainly would suck! [The company can you move you to a different location, for example]. But! The union's opposition could potentially torpedo the whole deal. A union is not much good once your company goes bankrupt, and you are unemployed. Oh fine: except the hobo union.


Did you catch Jenna Bush's debut as a correspondent for the Today show this morning? Let's hope not.


The media: Is it conspiring to steal the term "Summer of Death" from Alex Balk, with no credit? Everybody besides skateboarders thinks so.

Moore had a press conference this morning about his upcoming movie I Hate Capitalism. He went off on a rant about the newspaper industry that is both surprisingly insightful, and unsurprisingly rooted in a Chomskyite capitalist critique! His remarks were transcribed in full by the National Post, so all are [sic]. His main points:

1. In Europe, papers get more revenue from circulation than from ads, so they have an incentive to put out a quality news product. Here, newspapers are ad-supported, and they've cut their content down to shit. Then he quotes David Simon, as is the law in such an argument.

2. "We live in a nation of 40 million functional illiterates: that's 40 million adults who cannot read and write above a fourth grade or fifth grade level. We have another probably 40 million adults who can read and write above a fourth grade level but don't have the comprehension beyond that very much. So if you have literally that many tens of millions of adults who either can't read and write above a fourth and fifth grade level or can't comprehend what they do read, you've created a nation of people who are not going to be reading the newspapers." No matter how hard they try, newspapers will never be able to become as dumb as Americans. It's a fact!

3. Republicans hate the Department of Education and thereby contribute to this widespread American illiteracy; nevertheless, Moore says, "In the 17 elections between 1940 and 2004, the majority of American newspapers endorsed the Republican candidate for President 14 of the 17 elections." Vote Republican and die, newspapers.

Also, you know, the XBox is just too fun. Read his whole speech at The Ampersand.

With the premiere of his new film, Capitalism: A Love Story, looming on September 16th at the Toronto Film Festival, normally you'd expect to find Moore filling up every inch of media, shocking the bourgeiouse with his trademark Angry Guy Banging on the Palace Walls shtick, providing Matt Drudge with a new outrageous quote every news cycle.

But Moore has been strangely silent in this run-up and the LA Times' Patrick Goldstein has learned that he plans to keep a lid on it for weeks to come no less.

When Goldstein called Overture Films, Moore's distributor to arrange an interview, he was told that the filmmaker would sit for interviews after the premiere, but the pieces would all be embargoed Sept. 23rd, the day the film opens in New York and Los Angeles.

Why? Because Moore is doing a sit-down interview with Oprah Winfrey, which won't air until Sept. 22. And if Oprah wants an exclusive, she gets it, since when it comes to books, movies or music, no one offers a better promotional platform than La Winfrey.

There is perhaps no bigger winner here than Barack Obama, who is trying to persuade America that his health care package is not a socialist takeover of their lives. He will get a precious few weeks wherein Michael Moore is not clogging up the airwaves with his caricature of Middle American GOP fears. A conspiratorial mind might even wonder of Miss Winfrey is slyly doing her old pal on Pennsylvania Ave. a solid.

But for Moore himself, it turns out, even when you are peddling an attack on the entire economic underpinnings of our civilization, there is no place to get that message out like the couch of the Grande Dame of the Midwest, Our Oprah.

• The 66th Venice Film Festival kicks off today. Variety says guests are in store for "a daring and diverse selection that comprises more countries, more newcomers, more Americans, more genre pics and what the fest boasts will be more 3-D on display than at any other nonspecialized event." Among the most anticipated US representatives are the festival's day of celebration of Disney and Pixar, the Weinstein Company's adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's The Road and Michael Moore's Capitalism: A Love Story. Spoiler spies who have sneaked peeks at the Moore film inform us it is their guess that the title in fact may be just a tiny bit ironic. Who woulda guessed? [Var]

• Director Paul W.S. Anderson of Resident Evil honors has signed on to shoot a 3-D version of The Three Musketeers. Anderson says he will create a contemporary feel for the classic tale while retaining its period setting. Just picture Too Fast, Too Furious with funny feathered hats and perhaps a pie fight or two. [THR]

• HBO has ordered 11 episodes of the Martin Scorsese produced 1920's gangster series Broadwalk Empire. [The Wrap]

• Jerry Springer has singed a deal to host a live Vegas stage version of America's Got Talent at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino. Nick Cannon, you may relax now. [Var]

• Iron Man BFF's Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. are reuniting for Cowboys and Aliens, a sci-fi Western. The Dreamworks project will be Favreau's first directing gig after he finished Iron Man 2. [THR]

• Doug Wright is turning his acclaimed 1987 documentary Hands on a Hardbody into a stage musical at the La Jolla Playhouse. [Var]

It looks to us like the most simplistic left-wing cant that Moore could muster to explain the bailouts: The banks bought Congress, and Congress gave the banks billions of dollars, and some nice gun-toting people in the midwest got laid off.

We've been excited to see the movie, which opens on October 2, but there's something about it that looks depressing: A Michael Moore movie tends to put a cap on whatever outrage he's addressing. Roger & Me meant that by the time you're seeing this movie, Flint, Mich., is fucked. Bowling for Columbine: A bunch of kids are already dead because we already lost the battle on guns. Fahrenheit 9/11: A look back at how we got screwed into the Iraq war. Sicko is an exception in a way, but only because it came out too soon. His collection of health care nightmares showed how "death panels" already exist in America (they're called "insurance claims adjusters") wcame out during the Bush years and not when, you know, health care reform might be on the top of the political agenda.

Now with Capitalism: A Love Story, we can look back in anger at another horrible thing that has already been done to us, and listen to a real-American-looking type say, "There's gotta be some kind of rebellion between the people who have nothing and the people who've got it all." Good luck with that.

It probably has the benefit of being true. But when is Michael Moore going to drop the fat-guy-in-the-lobby routine? Or the fat-guy-yelling-at-a-corporate-office-through-a-bullhorn routine, for that matter?

Also: How do you finance films without banks? Just wondering.

Quiet indie actor Will Smith will reteam with his I Am Legend director Francis Lawrence for a movie about this: "a father and daughter living on opposite sides of the ocean whose love is so strong that it causes Manhattan to split off and float across the Atlantic." Which, I'm sorry, sounds so fucking lame I want to scream. [Variety]

New Line, long the house that murderous dream janitors and questing lover trolls built, is now Febrezing out its delicates and pushing the pizza boxes under the sofa and becoming a lady-friendly zone. After the success of He's Just Not That Into Horrible People Who Screech and Worry All The Time, Please for the Love of God Just Be a Person, the studio has been ushering in a new host of girl movies, like What Was I Thinking with Leslie Mann and Elizabeth Banks and Valemtimes Day, a movie about Jennifer Aniston being lonely again. [THR]

Want to watch a romantic comedy starring brothers? Oh, you nasty. No they're not in love with each other! They play friends and stuff. Oh, the brothers are Chris and Danny Masterson, one of whom is from Malcolm in the Yelling and the other from That 70s Shit. The movie is called Made for Each Other. [Variety]

Stalwart theatre guy Terry Kinney (he's the dude what had been Julia Stiles' dad in Save the Last Dance) has landed a plum role on popular sophomore drama The Mentalist. He'll play a cop who seems dumb but really isn't! [THR]

Michael Moore has announced the title of his new movie. It's a study of the economy and how it fell down the stairs that one time, and it'll be called Capitalism: A Love Story. I hope he's paying Isaac Bashevis Singer some royalties or some shizz. [Variety]

The new season of Project Runway will feature guest spots by Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera. So, it's 2003 again! Also, four of the contestants are weirdo foreigners. Plus the season's in LA. And it's on Lifetime. Who, exactly, is going to watch this show in August? [THR]

Warner Brothers has picked up the rights to an Argentinian movie comedy called A Boyfriend for My Wife, about a dude who tries to get his wife to fall for someone else so he can dump her and not feel bad about it. Which sounds cute! It will be less cute when it's in English and stars Vince Vaughn and Katherine Heigl. [Variety]

We thought GM was still massively profitable when it closed down those Flint plants and you made a movie about trying to make Roger Smith feel bad, Michael! We didn't realize you were predicting the end of the light truck boom!

But his rescue proposal involves bullet trains so we are actually behind him 100%. BULLET TRAINS!

Obama fangirl Rachel Maddow put together an Obama-Bush mashup on last night's show, playing Obama's speech announcing his Afghanistan plan next to clips of Bush talking about Iraq, and pointing out the eerie similarities. She hesitantly defended Obama—or at least seemed like she was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt—but it was clearly a shot across the bow.

Obama has made clear that he's not intimidated by the cable chatter, so he's unlikely to pay Maddow much heed. But Michael Moore could be another matter.

When Rush Limbaugh was accused of being the leader of the Republican Party, conservatives looked around for the fattest guy that Democrats like and accused them of being in thrall to Moore.

The comparison doesn't hold water, of course, because Moore was never able to force the chairman of the Democratic Party and a variety of congressional leaders to publicly grovel before him and go fetch him some Oxycontin or something.

Moreover, Moore has always been suspicious of what he sees as corporatist tendencies in the Democratic Party, and has freely criticized its leaders, making him more of a gadfly than commandante. But his reaction to Obama's plan is surprisingly forceful, making a direct comparison between Obama/Afghanistan and Bush/Iraq. Here's what's on Moore's web site right now:

Moore's been relatively quiet lately, and his trouble-making capacity is a little bit attenuated by the lack of a spotlight. But he's working on a film about the financial meltdown, a subject that is tailor-made for him—prepackaged with corporate greed, populist outrage, and plenty of little-guy-loses-the-house-but-rich-guy-gets-the-bonus stories to mine for class fury. So Moore will have a fairly big megaphone when the publicity tour starts, and Barack Obama probably doesn't want him running around saying he's just like Bush.

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