We all know a closet case or two who everyone knows is gay, but just needs to finally come out of the closet. On this National Coming Out Day, give them a little nudge by dropping off one of these celebrity National Coming Out Day Cards.

After partying her ass off with her ass out in Cannes, Michelle Rodriguez wore her butt-revealing bikini again in Monaco, where she spent the weekend yachting. Lindsay Lohan : Boobs :: Michelle Rodriguez : Butt. Poor LiLo and MiRo, hopeless hostages to the escape artists of private parts. [Images via Flynet]

If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall…

Last year, the Cannes Film Festival's designated troublemaker was Lindsay Lohan, who eventually ended up in jail for her probation-violating week of debauchery. With LiLo cleaning up her act stateside this year, who will be our party hearty ambassador to Cannes?

Sure, after filming Avatar and Battle: Los Angeles, she's got more experience dealing with extra-terrestrials than most of us, but seriously, folks, after watching this interview, we've upgraded the actress's condition from "kooky" to "bat-shit."

Last night brought the airing of the World Music Awards (yawn), co-hosted by Hayden Panettiere and Michelle Rodriguez (buh?), and J.Lo herself opened the event with a medley of, well, basically every song she's ever released. Love nostalgia? Video's inside.

Grindhouse director Robert Rodriguez apparently put together an early trailer for star-studded Mexploitation film Machete as a "Cinco de Mayo message for Arizona," featuring the likes of Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Danny Trejo fighting violently to protect illegal immigrants from racist politicians.

Cops visit Lindsay for two reasons in two days. Mariah Carey gains 57 lbs. Chace Crawford finds love in the time of volcanic eruption. Michelle Rodriguez's coming out party is saved. TGIFriday gossip roundup.

Today Ricky Martin dropped a crazy truth bomb on the world and acknowledged he is a "homosexual man." Yeah, duh! But he's not the only public figure still hiding—unsuccessfully—in the glass closet.

We couldn't make it to the premiere of Avatar in L.A. last night, because it's far. Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern cashed in her frequent flier miles and made the trip for us. Here is her report.

LiLo lied about saving those kids in India, almost as embarrassing as Dina Lohan truly out-leeching herself. Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are in Palm Beach, separately. Michelle Rodriguez talks vaginas and lesbian sex tapes. Monday gossip, locked and loaded.

Adrian Grenier turns 33 today. Jessica Simpson is turning 29. City comptroller (and mayoral wannabe) William Thompson is turning 56. Former mayor David Dinkins is turning 82. Times film critic A.O. Scott is 43. Showtime chief Matt Blank is turning 59. Author and marketing guru Seth Godin is 49. Writer Alice Munro is…

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to the Stop & Shop in Oyster Bay with two of their kids on Saturday and were "very friendly" to employees of the store. Please try to contain your amazement. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan must be hard up for cash, since she's reportedly in discussions to star in a topless show in Las…

You have to admire a renaissance basketcase: Lindsay Lohan is thinking of dancing topless, Michelle Rodriguez advised a male stripper and Mel Gibson's lady friend is also a sort of paper blogger.

♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're…

Though she's had her fair number of brushes with the law, Michelle Rodriguez continues to confound the industry by working steadily. She's currently filming Avatar, a grueling shoot that requires her to wear a motion-capture device not unlike an old-fashioned diving suit, as James Cameron's Jesus Cameras™ provide…

After all her fun-filled DUIs and failures to properly account for them, we expect nothing but the nastiest quotes to drip from jailbird Michelle Rodriguez's mouth. And most recently, she's directing her curse-filled anger towards we, the media. As the SCRAM bracelet-wearing actress tells Latina, anyone who dares to…