Mason, Ohio is just a typical Middle American town. Home to the Golf Center at Kings Island. Hell, Money magazine named it the 24th Best Place to Live in America, 2011. A fine place to raise a family. Or so we thought. Because even Mason, Ohio has found its public schoolhouses infested with what you've always feared:…
What an age we live in! Whereas America sprung full-formed from the breast of Jesus as a white Christian nation in 1776, now we have all types of weird foreign people here. And we welcome them, now that they've gotten in despite our considerable national spirit of xenophobia! Middle America is no longer as white as…
Residents of New York City now have the longest life expectancy ever. Thank you, thank you. Thanks. How do we do it, besides killing each other less frequently? By not making the common fitness mistakes of Middle America.
G.I. Joe wasn't screened for critics because Paramount wanted to market the movie to Middle Amerikkka without being judged. Critical reviews are finally coming in. They're going to be bad, it's just a matter of how bad. And how bad?
Oprah, America's thuggish overlord and faux cultural tastemaker, was out there today, as she always is, polluting the airwaves with her little syndicated serf-indoctrination program, looking for something cool to run up to, drop her pants, and shit all over. What did she defecate on top of today? Skype!
Did you, who lived through the 80s, ever think you'd live to see the day when you couldn't make money with a mall in America, or with a pub in England? That day has come!
Sacha "Borat" Baron "Ali G" Cohen is working on his upcoming flick about his character "Bruno," the supergay Austrian fashion reporter. Since everyone on both coasts (except for Ben Affleck) is obviously too familiar with his work to be punked, Bruno has traveled to the heart of flyover land, Wichita, Kansas. Where he…
