• This has sexy potential. Robert Pattinson describes the glorious moment he first came face-to-face with the man of his dreams, Zac Efron: "He was a really cool guy. That was one of the first times I'd ever been star-struck, but just because his face is so specific, it's kind of surreal." Since I was only able to locate one picture of them together in the history of wire images [fig.1, below], I'm pretty sure they didn't actually bang, but, sigh, let's pretend. [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
• Former The City star Erin Lucas has a lesbian kiss with Israeli model Adi Neumann in some movie they're in together. [fig.2] "I popped my cherry on camera. How appropriate," said the gay-for-screen-time Lucas. [P6]
• 
  
• Mike Tyson was detained at LAX last night for assaulting a paparazzo. Tyson punched the guy in the face so hard the photog had to be hospitalized. Both parties claimed it was the other one's fault, so the LAPD arrested both. No word the status of either of their ears. [LAT]
• 
  
• Carrie Prejean's ex-boyfriend—the one she sent that masturbatory video to—told TMZ that the former Miss California asked him to lie about the video and say she was an underage seventeen-year-old in it, when actually, she was twenty. And, hey, did he mention he has some other pictures of Carrie that he would like to sell to you, now? Because he does. In one of them, she's kind of showing her butt. [TMZ]
• 
  
• "I feel like I'm in a dream," said awestruck country music nymph Taylor Swift after she became the Country Music Association's youngest-ever Entertainer of the Year. Taylor won all four categories she was nominated in. And her new boyfriend's really cute. Some girls get all the breaks. [LAT]
• 
  
• Lil' Kim skipped a court date and blamed it on a nosebleed. I can't decide if this story is about lying or about cocaine. [TMZ]
• 
  
• Simon Cowell is the highest-earning man on American television, taking home a cool $75 million last year. In second place was Donald Trump ($50 million), who must feel like such a chump sandwiched between Cowell and Ryan Seacrest ($38 million) in the earnings list. [ShowBizSpy]
• 
  
  Figure 1
  

  Figure 2
  

This past Monday marked an important date in the death of macho: Oprah, the nation's greatest arbitrator of cultural trends, hosted Mike Tyson, the boxer most known for wife-beating and biting off Evander Holyfield's ear. The latter was the bloody, maniacal and all-around shocking moment in which Tyson become macho's ugly extreme: he was a monster, and the public, however horrified, fed the beast, which may explain those regrettable tattoos.

But thanks to some soothing words from Oprah this week, a contrite Tyson was brought to tears as he cried about his troublesome past and, most tenderly, the death of his daughter. Since simple tears may not be enough to completely rehabilitate Tyson, Oprah's bringing him on again this Friday, when he'll sit down and have a gab with Holyfield himself.

The resultant sob fest may very well make these former enemies the best of friends. Or, at the very least wash them both, but mostly Tyson, of their respective heavy-weight images.

Tyson's is just one of the many examples of once-fierce men rebranding themselves in more family-friendly fashion. The most obvious, of course, is former braggart wrestler Dwayne Johnson. Sure, "The Rock" still has some action chops, but how can anyone take him seriously after seeing him dressed up as, quite literally, a fairy in his latest, The Tooth Fairy. A sadder display we have not seen.

Even action heroes aren't manly anymore: Jake Gyllenhaal may be buff in Prince of Persia, but he's hardly a macho man. Nor is Adrien Brody, who will be fighting the aliens in the Predator remake. And so it goes. Thanks, birth control.

According to various reports on the incident, the young girl was playing on a treadmill inside of the family's home when she somehow got her head caught up in an electrical cord attached to the console, effectively hanging herself.

Exodus' 7-year-old brother found her and told their mother, who was in another room. She took Exodus off the cord, called 911 and tried to revive her.

Responding officers and firefighters performed CPR on Exodus as they took her to the hospital, where she had been listed in critical condition since Monday.

Tyson, the subject of a critically acclaimed documentary, "Tyson," by director James Toback currently in theaters nationwide, has been widely lauded for cleaning up his life after he was convicted and served time for rape and separately for possession of illegal drugs and drunk driving. Tyson was recently a guest on Charlie Rose's show, along with Toback, where he discussed the film, how his love for his family keeps him grounded and how he feared that being thrust back into the national spotlight might lead him astray as a person once again.

"I feel that I'm gonna be a target again and that frightens me because I don't think I can deal with another run like I did last time...I know if I get back into a situation where everyone is telling me 'we love you' and 'you're the greatest guy ever,' I know how dangerous I can become. I can become real ugly."

We extend our deepest condolences to Mike Tyson and his family during this difficult time.

Tyson's 4-Year-Old Daughter Dies After Accident [AP]
Mike Tyson on Charlie Rose [Charlie Rose]

• Rihanna was photographed leaving the apartment of Kanye West, who just broke up with his girlfriend. No word on whether or not Kanye left Rihanna an all-caps note on the bathroom mirror the next morning. [UK Sun]
  
  
• Madonna's alleged young Latin boy-toy, Jesus Luz, claims that she is nothing more than just his good friend. Ouch. [Daily News]
  
  
• Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus was playing around on a treadmill in the family home when she became accidentally tangled up in an electric cord attached to the machine. She is now on life support in an Arizona hospital. [Daily News]
  
  
• Brooke Shields wishes that she wouldn't have waited so long to get her freak on, having waited until she was 22 before giving up her virginity, largely because of low self-esteem. [US Weekly]
  
  
• Kevin Bacon, fresh from getting fleeced by Bernie Madoff, had his Blackberry stolen on the subway over the weekend. [Page Six]
  
  
• Kate Moss announced that she wants to be a novelist when her career as a model comes to an end. Should be a pretty easy transition, no? [UK Sun]
  
  
• Keifer Sutherland, fresh from an incident where he head-butted a fashion designer in a fit of boozy rage, is back on the bottle again, this time getting sloshed on the Lower East Side, with his daughter no less. [Page Six]
  
  
• Mel Gibson's rep confirmed yesterday what we all pretty much already know—-That he'd knocked up one of his Russian mistresses and that his life is a big bag of shit right about now. [People]
  
  
• Kylie Minogue is engaged to a 31 year-old Spanish male model [Perez]
  
  
• A host of celebrities went out to the Hamptons over the holiday weekend, where they did all of the things that celebrities typically do in the Hamptons—-Party and get naked. [Page Six]

• Alex Rodriguez's ex-wife is helping him through his steroid scandal, and Madonna is not happy. Who knows more about unhuman musculature than she does? [Gatecrasher]
• Some misguided woman in Los Angeles is suing Miley Cryus over the star's stretched-back eyelid picture. The suit seeks damages for 1 million Asian Americans. TMZ says this means "Asians Want $4 Billion From Miley Cyrus." Yes, because Asians are part of a monolithic borg. Cyrus is 16 years old; what's your excuse, TMZ? [TMZ]
• Mickey Rourke has maybe been secretly dating Courtney Love for three weeks. Try not to think about it. [Mirror]
• Kurt Cobain's writings were seen by a select group of publishers before selling for $4 million. So Mike Tyson figures if his writings are only circulated to a select group... [P6]
• After eliminating his contributions to Daily News worker retirement, Mort Zuckerman enjoyed a nice lunch at the Four Seasons. Cutting is a strenuous activity. [P6]
• Kate Hudson installed a stripper pole in her bathroom. She's very proud. [Scoop]
• People won't stop looking at Kate Moss and wondering if she's pregnant. [Sun]
• Michael Jackson may have a terrible skin-eating infection. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan was photographed carrying two pizza boxes, scientific proof she is eating enough food. [Mail]
• Here's a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow looking ridiculous is leather schoolboy shorts. [Daily Mail]

• To make himself more relatable to women, Tom Cruise will stop pulling wife Katie Holmes around by the arm in public and will try to go on the View a lot to make the ladies forget about that time he dissed Brooke Shields for taking drugs for postpartum depression, a dick move they totally hated. Also, for the poors, he will stop showing up to movie premiers in totally awesome vehicles. [Star]
• Turns out Larry King was ripped off by Bernie Madoff, too. Between that, the insurance brokerage that allegedly cheated him ,and King's many ex-wives, the TV host really needs to at least finish out his CNN contract, if not renew. [P6]
• Joe Francis likes to have his picture taken while wearing women's undergarments. And that's actually one of the least pervy things about him. [Gatecrasher]
• Mike Tyson, subject of a new documentary: "People are offering me a lot of pussy and a lot of money again." Nervous laughter. "It’s not funny. This stuff is detrimental. I had a hard time controlling it in the past.” [Gatecrasher]
• Technically, Bill and Hillary Clinton went to at least one inaugural party together. Let's just say they didn't hang out much. Guess which one left early. [Cindy Adams]
• Mariah Carey will would not be seated with mere celebrities at the inaugural. She wanted to be with the Obama family, because that's what she is, really. Family. [P6]
• Page Six isn't saying Billy Bush was wasted at the Sundance party for Crude. It's just saying the Access Hollywood star was "escorted" away by his, uh "pal" (boss actually) Ben Silverman. [P6]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's ex-fiance says the couple are trying to work things out. [Fametastic]

In his brief speech, Tyson worried out loud about the perils concomitant with the documentary's breakout success: "I'm afraid of how much pussy and how much money I'm gonna get." So are we, suddenly! Let's never let Tyson apologist Helen Mirren near this man.

[Video Credit: Peter Knegt, Indiewire]

• “I’m Afraid Of How Much Money and How Much Pussy I’m Gonna Get” [The Lost Boy]

"I'm just pretty humbled to be here," said Tyson, resplendent in a tuxedo that may have also been the first of its kind ever at a festival Q&A. "I hope you guys liked the documentary. I'm in the boondocks with this. I had no idea it would come to this degree of success or anything; I was anticipating probably this would be hot on the corner of 125th Street, but I had no idea such an amalgamation of people would just rally together here to support me. I can't express my appreciation and gratitude for this moment."

Humility is the bedrock of James Toback's extraordinary Tyson, into which are planted milestones of humor, psychosis, pathos, self-abasement, excess and fear as Tyson recounts his life in his own words. And we mean that about as literally as we can: Tyson is all Tyson, whose fighting skills have migrated to a sustained flurry of raconteurial jabs mixed with stock-footage body blows. Though Toback proves Tyson's candor isn't anything new, his introspection does possess a shocking sincerity; even when spitting venom at rape accuser Desiree Washington ("that despicable, wretched woman") or his ex-promoter and "reptilian motherfucker" Don King, Tyson matter-of-factly describes his weakness for each and the devastating consequences of those weaknesses. Ultimately a middle-class ex-athlete riven with pride and humiliation at age 42, he has all the answers and none of them.

"I have trust issues, as I'm sure everybody in this room has a degree of trust issues," said Tyson, who earlier had invoked his ex-addict status as grounds for fearing Tyson's success. "I just work real hard on being humble, because if I dwell on what I've accomplished in the past and who that guy was and what kind of person I was, I would start using again, because I'm a..."

Here, Tyson paused a second to pluck the best, least self-effacing word in his vocabulary. "Megalomaniac if I don't put my ego in check. I will go down."

And to the extent he trusted Toback, whom he's known since before his ascent to the heavyweight championship in 1986, Tyson said he also finds the film excruciating viewing. "You become very vulnerable," he told the crowd. "That was a scary guy on film. After 25 years, I realized what I projected to the world. I never understood why people looked at me and made those judgmental opinions about me as to why that might be. That's who I wanted to be — I wanted to be the champion, the arrogant champion, sitting on the throne and just ruling everything. It was just my make-up." And now he's a Sundance darling. Way to reinvent, champ.

While Mirren defended a woman's right to say "no" at any point, she's not always in favor of reporting such attacks.

"I don't think [a woman] can have that man into court under those circumstances," she continued, "It's such a tricky area, isn't it? Especially if there is no violence. I mean, look at Mike Tyson. I don't think he was a rapist."

Mirren, 63, also admits she took illegal drugs – including marijuana and LSD – as a teen. "I loved coke," she continues. "I never did a lot, just a little bit at parties." (She also says she hasn't touched the drug in more than 20 years.)

"Dope always made me feel miserable and paranoid and unhappy," she adds. "And I woke up one day and thought, 'No more of that, thank you.' "

Now that Mirren's shocking tales have made Caligula look like a fun, G-rated romp, our long-standing Defamer crush on the actress has become as confused as the plot of Teaching Mrs. Tingle. In no way do we endorse date rapes or Mike Tyson, so perhaps you'll excuse us if we take some time out to re-assess our feelings for the erstwhile Queen Elizabeth. Sure, she can fill out a cherry-red bikini like no other 63-year-old, but for now, we're going to put away our heavily-scratched DVD of Calendar Girls and reflect on a happy time when our Hollywood summer didn't seem quite so rapey.

[Photo credits: Brenna/Jason Fraser via Daily Mail]

• Helen Mirren Shocker: I 'Loved Coke' & Was Date Raped [People]

Tyson To Cops: "I Am Fucked Up" [TSG]

• The Coop, set to music. [DotComedy]
  
• Mike Tyson to be a whore. [StarPulse]
  
• Nicholas Kristof doesn't have to reveal his FBI sources. [Media Mob]
  
• Tom and Katie's wedding guests, deconstructed. [TMZ]