Carrie Prejean and her breasts are headed to court. The ex-beauty queen turned anti-gay activist is being sued by the organizers of the Miss California USA pageant who say they paid for her boob job.

The attorney for Carrie Prejean, disgraced pageant broad and the most wind-maligned human in world history, is claiming that she's the victim of an evil plot by dastardly pageant officials who want to destroy her, and is threatening a lawsuit.

Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA operation, wouldn't take away Carrie Prejean's Miss California crown after she bashed gay marriage or when she posed nekkid. So what's a fireable offense? Apparently, thou shalt not be more famous than him.

In the third scandal to rock the Miss USA pageant — the cherished American institution that no one had heard of until a few weeks ago — Miss New Jersey Ashley Harder announced yesterday that she will resign her title because she is great with child. Pageant owner Donald Trump's response was a "terse" "I wish her…

· A tip to those easily freaked out by the way 24 dramatizes the methods that terrorists can use to wipe you out: You might want to skip tonight's episode.
· Britney Spears dropped $40k to stay at the two-story Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms over the weekend, which includes a fee for the concierge to keep the…

· While idling in your car for what seemed like days in a futile attempt to escape from The Grove's parking structure, you've often suspected you were actually trapped in a multi-tiered, Alighierian Inferno. Losanjealous offers photographic proof of your fear.
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Alas, what we feared was all but inevitable has come to pass: the Miss Universe Organization has decided to strip Miss Nevada USA of her title following the sudden appearance of some racy™ photos, rather than take the unexpected opportunity the free-spirited, bi-curious pageanteer provided them to re-brand their…

Trump this, Rosie that. We needed a calm, reasonable, mature perspective on the whole Miss USA kerfluffle, so we turned to our favorite gravitas-dispenser, A.C. We weren't disappointed.

The barrage of recent Miss USA-related scandals has made the stories completely blur together for us, making it nearly impossible to distinguish which tiaratard is off to Trump-ordered rehab, was dumped by MADD, or—and we may be misremembering this one—once sold herself into the harem of a blonde-hoarding sultan, a…

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) has cut ties with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair for her reported underage carousing with Miss Temporarily Disgraced USA Tara Conner, but it's expected that she will quickly rebound to sign on as a spokesperson for Mothers Totally In Favor Of Hot And Horny Pageant Chicks Getting…

· We tried and we tried (we swear!), but in the end, we just couldn't make ourselves give a shit about the Miss USA situation. Even a little. We will, however, run this large picture of the semidisgraced Tara Conner getting theatrically weepy at press conference announcing The Donald has temporarily exiled her to…