Multimillionaire New Yorker Hospitalized After Manic $20 Million Shopping Spree
With a $100 million fortune made from selling miniature ceramic houses, Ed Bazinet is one of New York's richest men. His TriBeCa apartment is worth $28 million, and he was featured Richistan, Robert Frank's 2007 book about the super-wealthy. Two weeks ago, he suffered a manic break and purchased a whopping $20 million…
Dad of the Year Mass-Texts Teen Girl's Nude Pic to 'Teach Her a Lesson'
In Arizona, America's greatest state, parenting is proceeding as expected: via sexting. Would sexual shaming via sexting work to control your teen's natural hot sexxxy nude photo urges? One man was brave enough to find out.
New York's New Gay Disco Can't Even Spell Its Own Name Right
In another throw back to '90s club culture, XL, Manhattan's brand new and still retro disco, issued membership cards to some lucky potential patrons. But they modernized it with a website. Too bad they spelled the website address wrong on the card.
The Sequoia Middle School Newsletter Sure Was Racist Last Week
Dunno, maybe it was just me, but did you guys notice something a little... I don't know... off, about Sequoia Middle School's latest newsletter?
Christopher Hitchens' Unforgivable Mistake
The outpouring of grief, goodwill, and teary encomia that has attended news of Christopher Hitchens' passing would—if he was anything like the persona he presented in print—have turned his stomach. He loathed sentiment, welcomed combat, and delighted in inflicting hard truths. In that spirit, it must not be forgotten…
Idiot SWAT Team Tried to Catch Guy Who Was Already in Prison
After collecting tips from (drunk? bath salts-addled?) witnesses and obtaining a warrant, a Santa Maria, California SWAT team stormtroopered the home of Hope and Javier Bravo Sr. in search of their son, Javier Bravo Jr. But he was already incarcerated. Which seems like something they should have known!
Oh My God This Marketing Agency Promo Video Is So Embarrassing
"SapientNitro". "Idea Engineer." The rapping. The guitar guy. Christ. Let's just both pretend like we never, ever saw this. I can't even bear to look at you right now.
Idiot Doctors Blame Man's Pain on a Past Hysterectomy
When New Zealander Les Kennington, who is a man, visited a health clinic complaining about severe stomach pains, doctors suggested that his past hysterectomy might be to blame. They know he had a hysterectomy because his medical report says so. Why does it say so, though, given that Kennington is a man?
Oh, Weed Spots Don't Actually Reduce Crime
What if I told you that having a medical marijuana dispensary near you could actually reduce crime in your neighborhood? You'd probably be like "duuuude," or some other stereotypically "stoner" thing, because your "glaucoma treatment" has been particularly good lately. Well, snap out of it, man: I'm here to tell you…
Inmate Celebrates Parole With Contraband Phone Call, Gets Five More Years
Dwayne Kennedy has been in prison in California since 1990. Last year, he was finally granted parole. He was so very happy! He borrowed another inmate's contraband cell phone to call his family. "We were crying and praying" with joy, his sister says. And then?
National Book Awards: Oops, We Shortlisted the Wrong Book
When young-adult novel Lauren Myracle found out that her gay teen hate crime novel Shine had been shortlisted for a National Book Award, she was "over the moon."
Bumbling SWAT Team Robbed For Its Machine Guns
What is that highly trained squadron of commandos charged with tackling life's thorniest situations and defeating the scariest malefactors in our society, the Los Angeles SWAT team, up to now? Oh just getting robbed for a bunch of machine guns, by malefactors! I guess commando training doesn't include irony…
Moron Student Who Accused Jewish Prof of Anti-Semitism: I Am The Victim Here
Yesterday, we brought you the story of Sarah Grunfeld, the 22 year-old student at York University who ran out and publicly accused her (Jewish) sociology professor of anti-Semitism when he said the phrase "Jews should be sterilized"—as an example of a bad opinion. Grunfeld's reasoning: "The words, ‘Jews should be…
Hip Hop Charter School Blew Its Book Money on De La Soul Endorsement
In Portland, Oregon, one parent's bright idea and several years of planning and government grants had made the REAL Prep Charter Academy—a high school with a recording and arts program based in hip hop culture—a near reality. Do not insert easy joke here! The idea seems good. The execution was... embarrassing.

