In a bit of karmic justice, Mitt Romney got just 47 percent (ha ha) of the presidential vote, according to new tallies.
Don't Feel Bad, Mitt Romney Never Wanted to be President

Since November's election, Mitt Romney has been leading a strange and relatively normal life. He's been spotted pumping his own gas, catching a showing of "Breaking Dawn", having turkey chili with an old foe, and watching a boxing match.
Nine News Organizations Sent a Letter to Romney Campaign Challenging Expenses
Six weeks after the election, nine news outlets are questioning the financial propriety of the Romney campaign after receiving several exorbitant bills. The news organizations, which include the New York Times, the Washington Post, BuzzFeed and the Los Angeles Times, wrote a letter to the campaign, asking for detailed…
Man in Mitt Romney Mask Robs Same Bank Robbed by Hillary Clinton-Masked Robber
People have been spotting Mitt Romney everywhere since his November defeat: at Disneyland, in Burger King, at a gas station, at the White House. And yesterday robbing a bank in Virginia, wearing a Florida State sweatshirt. Or, hmm. Maybe that's just a guy in a Mitt Romney mask.
Look at Mitt and Ann Romney Watch Manny Pacquiao Get Knocked Out
There's Mitt and Ann Romney's facial expressions at the exact moment that Manuel Marquez delivered a perfect knockout punch to Manny Pacquiao in last night's big fight.
Barack Obama Accepts Mitt Romney's Concession Call: A Body Language Analysis
On Friday, the White House flickr account posted this Election Night photo of President Obama, accepting Governor Mitt Romney's concession via cell phone.
Seven Ways of Looking at the News That Mitt Romney's Dad Got Free McDonald's For Life
Canada's National Post and the AP note a photograph, posted to link-sharing website Reddit, of failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney visiting a McDonald's sometime yesterday. "Mitt Romney loves his McDonald's and has said so on many occasions," the article reads.
Barack Obama Ate Some White Turkey With a White Turkey Today
In a move only slightly more subtle than the Roots' selection of Fishbone's "Lyin' Ass Bitch" to play in Michele Bachmann during a visit to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last year, the White House served "White Turkey Chili" for Mitt Romney's lunch with Barack Obama today.
Romney Face Tat Guy Wants the Ink Removed, Says Romney Has 'No Dignity'
Remember the independent pro-wrestler from Indiana who got a face tattoo of the Romney-Ryan logo and then said he was "totally disappointed" by Romney's loss but had no regrets about the ink?
Obama Didn't Trust Romney to Use Unmanned Drones to Kill Innocent People
This November's foreign policy debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney left many Americans realizing that the two candidate's policies were pretty similar, regardless of their thoughts about bayonets. But no matter how alike their policies seemed to the average citizen, President Obama apparently wasn't okay with…
Mitt Romney Is at Disneyland, Doing His Thing
This afternoon, in "What's Mitt Up to These Days?": Mitt Romney is at Disneyland, looking better than he did pumping gas this morning. On right: creepy Josh Romney.
Failed GOP Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney Reduced to Pumping Own Gas
Times are tough for failed presidential nominee Mitt Romney: First he's forced to endure an entire screening of Breaking Dawn: Part 2, and now he's been spotted pumping his own gas in La Jolla, California.
Mitt Romney Blames Election Loss on Obama's 'Gifts' to Impoverished Young Minorities
Though he's had plenty of time to reflect on the result of last week's presidential election, GOP nominee Mitt Romney, much like his running mate, is still refusing to admit that his defeat might have had more to do with his own platform than with that of his opponent.
Guy Who Got Romney Face Tattoo Regrets Nothing
An independent pro-wrestler from Indiana who received $15,000 in exchange for tattooing the Romney/Ryan logo on his face told Politico he had no regrets.
Since the election, Mitt Romney has lost one Facebook friend every 4.3 seconds.
The Lost Presidential Debate of 2012: Binders Full of Black Men, Tang-Colored White Boys, and Other Shit I Don’t Like
BILL O'REILLY – "It's not a traditional America any more. And there are 50% of the voting public who want stuff. They want things. And who is going to give them things? President Obama…"
Chris Christie Congratulates Obama by Phone, Tells Mitt Romney Tough Luck by Email
Chris Christie, who is already being blamed by conservatives for costing Republicans the election with his refusal to be political during a time of crisis for his state, revealed to reporters today that he has yet to speak with Mitt Romney despite having already phoned President Obama to congratulate him on his…