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New York, 12:12 PM
Sun Nov 29
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #monty more →

    Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?

    The Montauk Monster is Not a Damn Movie Prop!

    Stephen Colbert Solves Montauk Monster Mystery!
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Videodrew Videodrew
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Seeing as how my friend said they were only "fifteen miles west" of Montauk, its much more feasible that he was guestimating about still being in shelter island territory, John. More likely East Hampton, though he didn't want to admit it...then again, who can trust bar stories? Pictures, on the other hand, are pretty definitive evidence. Unless you think this guy, after running into me, ran home and concocted all these pictures to get a year-late fameball shout-out? Or perhaps had been waiting 1 year until the PERFECT time to release these bogus pictures?
     Reply
    Videodrew was starred Videodrew was unstarred
    Image of John Cook John Cook
    06/04/09

    @Videodrew: Why don't you ask your friend where he was, exactly?
     Reply
    John Cook was starred John Cook was unstarred
    Image of metropolitan metropolitan
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    i can't believe you people still believe that raccoons exist.
     Reply
    metropolitan was starred metropolitan was unstarred
    Image of Kid Twist Kid Twist
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Monsters are such innnteresting people! My stars!
     Reply
    Kid Twist was starred Kid Twist was unstarred
    Image of johnny_carsick johnny_carsick
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    he'll always be a monster in my heart.
     Reply
    johnny_carsick was starred johnny_carsick was unstarred
    Image of hamburgerhotdog hamburgerhotdog
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    How exactly does the watermelon fit into this picture? Sounds like a waste of a perfectly good could-be vodkamelon....


    Someone call those Mythbuster dudes to recreate this scenario!

     Reply
    hamburgerhotdog was starred hamburgerhotdog was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!! thnx
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Didn't Charlton Heston die last year? I always just assumed it was him. Or Eartha Kitt.
     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of the rzo the rzo
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Something tied around its wrist? How very "The Wire: Season Five."
     Reply
    the rzo was starred the rzo was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Last summer I said 250 times that it was a toitle. And I refuse to budge from that position.


    Gawker had a headline (by Ian?) "Good luck with your hell demons!" and for me the only other possibility is hell demon.


    It's either a turtle or a hell demon. I'm going with turtle so I can sleep at night but wont' be surprised when it comes up hell demon.

     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of DorothyBarker DorothyBarker
    06/04/09

    @BxgrlJeri: "It's either a turtle or a hell demon" = one of the best sentences I've ever read. I will say tho, per Wasp vs. Stryper, i think the H20 damage, decomp, sunburned, etc. theory does seem sound. Which just goes to show, no matter how cute you start out, spending too much time at the beach is just not a good idea.
     Reply
    DorothyBarker was starred DorothyBarker was unstarred
    Image of kneetoe kneetoe
    06/04/09

    @BxgrlJeri: Also, a toitle ain't go not teeth; can't speak to dentition in hell demons.
     Reply
    kneetoe was starred kneetoe was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    06/04/09

    @kneetoe:If you vote agin toitle then it's hell demon.


    Thank you for playing.

     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of BxgrlJeri BxgrlJeri
    06/04/09

    @DorothyBarker: I noes! I am the color of Elmer's Glue because I don't want teh SKIN CANCER!11!
     Reply
    BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred
    Image of TheUptightMidwesterner TheUptightMidwesterner
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    So, long story short, these guys were tripping their brains out, set fire to some poor critter and are now trying to take credit for the only interesting thing that happened last summer?
     Reply
    TheUptightMidwesterner was starred TheUptightMidwesterner was unstarred
    Image of Nice Beaver Nice Beaver
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Nope. This doesn't work. Nothing from Long Island ever travels that far away from its place of origin.
     Reply
    Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred
    Image of Steverino Begins Steverino Begins
    06/04/09

    @Nice Beaver: HA.
     Reply
    Steverino Begins was starred Steverino Begins was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    A fire would have melted a inflatable.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    06/04/09

    @blix: An even.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Could the Montauk Monster be the carcass of one of the Visigothic morons involved in setting the dead raccoon on fire and afloat? Because this is clearly the action of a creature who might just wander out to sea, forgetting to keep his birdlike little head above water.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    It's an obvious lie. That's no inflatable duck. That's an inflatable zebra.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of Mad Due to No More Bonnets Mad Due to No More Bonnets
    06/04/09

    @BadUncle: RIGHT, but you see it's not just an inflatable zebra, it's clearly Yipes, the mascot for Fruit Stripe gum, which everybody knows was an extenstion to the Beech-Nut gum line. Also well known is that the Beech-tree (which thrives in the Hamptons!!) was cited by Ovid in the Heroides as a tree upon witch Paris carved his first lover, Oenone's, name. Oenone, who predicted the Trojan War. Raccoon carcass on rainbow inflatable zebra trying to pass as Montauk Monster is obvs fourth horseman of the apocalypse. Following Obama, the pig from that White Castle pulled pork commercial, and probably Samantha Ronson.
     Reply
    Mad Due to No More Bonnets was starred Mad Due to No More Bonnets was unstarred
    Image of onebadclam onebadclam
    06/04/09

    @Mad Due to No More Bonnets: But where do the Knights Templar fit in with all of this?
     Reply
    onebadclam was starred onebadclam was unstarred
    Image of Mad Due to No More Bonnets Mad Due to No More Bonnets
    06/04/09

    @onebadclam: I'm not sure, but a google search for websites containing the phrases Knights Templar, pulled pork, AND Samantha Ronson (138 results!!!) leads to the following page: [snipurl.com]
    I will need some time to crack this code.
     Reply
    Mad Due to No More Bonnets was starred Mad Due to No More Bonnets was unstarred
    Image of blogissuchanuglyword blogissuchanuglyword
    06/04/09

    In reply to Has the Montauk Monster Mystery Been Solved?
    Looks like a turtle without its shell.
     Reply
    blogissuchanuglyword was starred blogissuchanuglyword was unstarred
    Image of britneyspearstears britneyspearstears
    06/04/09

    @blogissuchanuglyword: Good call.


    Also, it could still be a raccoon. Mr. Cook's investigation only challenges how it ended up where it ended up but not what it ended up.

     Reply
    britneyspearstears was starred britneyspearstears was unstarred
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