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The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever

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GoldenShowersFillYourEyes
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
This is it.

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read in a newspaper, ever. And I read the newspaper every day. My local newspaper. It's terrible. This is like a bad April Fools joke.
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drinkyrose
05/28/09

@GoldenShowersFillYourEyes: It sounds like an Onion article.
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DeltaGuy
05/28/09

@drinkyrose (the commenter formerly known as rose0red): And yet it is on page A1 of the Times. Front. Fucking. Page.
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Spirit Fingers
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
As an official old, I'd just like to say that I find this hugging nonsense just strange. We never hugged one another, whatever for? There was just waayyy too much body odor happening during those pre-teen and teen years, we knew it, our parents and teachers knew it. During the warmer months the kid whose seat was by the window would get the nod from the teacher, and it was his cue to crack it open to let the confined, hormonally charged, stink out the room. I mean really, there was gym class (wherein no one showered after, because really the gym teachers all wanted to touch your insides), sub sandwiches with onions for lunch, copious amounts of hair spray and teen ball sweat, and the kid that ostensibly smelled like pee and eggs, there was no way we were touching one another. I can't think much has changed in the last twenty years. So, my response to the hugging thing is a wholehearted, "What? Why? Ewwwww!"
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HurtsSoGood
05/28/09

@Spirit Fingers: When do you become an official old? Does 46 qualify?
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BullfightsOnAcid
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
Hey, this is America! Arms are for killing not for hugs.
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cdmunch
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
We had a "three feet on the floor" rule for when boys and girls were in the same room together and "3/4 open" rule for doors during the special 2 nights a week of "interdorm visitation," ie. when boys and girls were allowed to visit each other's dorms when I was in high school.
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HurtsSoGood
05/28/09

@cdmunch: So no lifting your GF into the air while you're hugging her?
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Kid Twist
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
The appearance of this "trend" in the Times is confirmaion that it's so over already.
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IceCreamIsAwesome
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
This is NOT new dammit, back in 1997 when I was in Jr High everybody did the, "OMG I haven't seen you in forever (like last class period)" HUG HUG HUG!!!! Meeting at the movies, meeting at the mall, meeting at tennis practice, meeting at church, meeting at laser tag, HUG IT OUT!! I'm so sick of these trend pieces that are not trends, if Gawker keeps posting these I'm going to end up like my old as hell bitter neighbor with the three cats who lives all alone and ignores the nice young lady who was just trying to be polite and wave hello what the hell is up her ass!?!?!?!
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The Lone Scout
05/28/09

@IceCreamIsAwesome: And how about when a Bridge & Tunnel couple meet another B&T pair on the street in Manhattan? Looks of happy disbelief, "ZOMG, howa r UUUUuuuuu," kiss, kiss, hug, hug, blocking the sidewalk, "I can't believe this, running into each other on the street in Manhattan, totally amazing [even though they only live across the river], etc., etc." Get off my lawn!
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NeverEnough
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
This just happens to coincide with the new Obama administration. He's leading our impressionable youths straight to hell, people!
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City_Dater
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
This doesn't seem all that weird to me compared to most teen behavior, but then again, I work in show business.
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Mount_Prion
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
Additionally, as happy as I am to see sparklies on my screen without having to enter the Konami Code, why do those bears have matching, stitched forehead wounds?
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misslinda
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
I would have never survived high school circa 2009. I find hugging unnecessary when a wave or a simple "hey" will suffice. It's far more efficient.
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bytememehard
05/28/09

@misslinda: Whose concerned about being efficient in high school, unless they suffer from OCD?
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misslinda
05/28/09

@bytememehard: I was being sarcastic, I guess it was a fail. But I do really despise obligatory hugging and I fear what will happen when these huggers enter the workforce.
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Lizawithazee
05/28/09

@misslinda: Workplace hugging is the WORST. Awkward!
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misslinda
05/28/09

@Lizawithazee: These kids are done for. I imagine them walking into a business meeting and going around the table giving everyone a hug and a "Hiiiiiyyyyeeee! OMG! I loooooooove your lipgloss!!! Is it flavored? Can I taste? Yuuuuuummmmmm!"
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HurtsSoGood
05/28/09

@misslinda: You must have been a 90s slacker or something. In the 70s, we didn't even look at each other.
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Lizawithazee
05/28/09

@Lizawithazee: Let me quality that: workplace hugging is not the WORST. The shooting sprees are worse than the hugs.
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misslinda
05/28/09

@HurtsSoGood: Nope, 80s underachiever. The 70s sound divine.
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resipsaloquacious
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
What happened to finger banging behind the bowling alley?
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naugahydeinplainsight
05/28/09

@resipsaloquacious: RSI?
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Richard Lawson
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
It's time.

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Mount_Prion
05/28/09

In reply to The Lamest Teen Moral Panic Ever
The only truly proper way to greet somebody is to smell his or her business card.
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bytememehard
05/28/09

@Mount_Prion: C.U.C.A.R.A.C.H.A.: did you mean to add "card" to that sentence?
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Mount_Prion
05/28/09

@bytememehard: Yes. Jump to about 6:45.

+ Watch video

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NerD: Blattella
05/28/09

@Mount_Prion: C.U.C.A.R.A.C.H.A.: OH Jeebus I'd forgotten about this sketch.

True brilliance.
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