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Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
America Makes Do

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Queen of the Passive Aggressives
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
My aunt and uncle had 8 kids. My uncle had to die to get out of that gig.
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SpicyTamale is a GA peach promoted this comment

Fishnets and Cigarettes
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
2 bedrooms? Where are the 8 kids gonna sleep on Jon's weekend?
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CodePink
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
I'm going to bring Jon a gift basket from Zabar's full of whitefish pate and chocolate sourdough twists to welcome him to the neighborhood.
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JacquesPaysan
07/17/09

@CodePink: That's very neighborly of you. Unless the two are meant to be eaten together, in which case, gross.
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PandoraSpocks
07/18/09

@CodePink: Darling! How are you?
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Spirit Fingers
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
He's a special kind of asshole rarely seen out of imagination or incurable pathology. There really should be a new name out there like, Astronomical, douche-be-riddenassholeaficous. Like a foot dissolving fungus. That you can't cure. Just need to have something excise it from existence, like a missing tail nubbin or something.
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ArtfulSlinger
07/17/09

@Spirit Fingers: Totally agree. Douchebag can not even come close to an accurate description of him.
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BxgrlJeri
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
If I had 8 kids I'd be on a breadline somewhere or on food stamps or something. I wouldn't pimp them out to have a tricked out UWS condo.

I take the 5 bus from that corner ALL the time. If I see him, I will smack him.
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Nice Beaver
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
This is not going to help his portrayal in the Kate-written Lifetime movie Not Without My Papier-Mâché Uterus: My Life of Shittin' Kids.
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JacquesPaysan
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
How, Jeezus, can that man afford to drop $5K a month on rent? HOW?

Does he even have a job?

And how does he plan on pimping out his children from a two bedroom apartment?
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Edited by JacquesPaysan at 07/17/09 3:33 PM JacquesPaysan was starred JacquesPaysan was unstarred

bluebears
07/17/09

@SwissMister: baby pimping really rakes in the dough.
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JohnQPublic
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
That photo is sadly out of date. HMV hasn't been there since ...CDs were available in bricks-and-mortar stores. Urban Outfitters is now in that retail space, which is obviously much more fitting for Jon's barely post-pubescent companion/s.
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DahlELama promoted this comment JohnQPublic was starred JohnQPublic was unstarred

Steverino Begins
07/17/09

@JohnQPublic: It's actually now an HPV clinic to treat the women leaving his apartment.
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JohnQPublic
07/17/09

@Steverino Begins: Which proves once again that the UWS gets more than its fair share of social services centers. You don't see Jon being "steered" into 10021.
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kepster
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
That's an old photo- it's an Urban Outfitters downstairs now. Jon can stop there on his way to Brother Jimmy's.
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TheHonJudgeSmails promoted this comment kepster was starred kepster was unstarred

pleppy
07/17/09

@kepster: hahahaha. thats totally his new hangout. watch out upper east side!
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92BuickLeSabre
07/17/09

@pleppy: Upper West! Upper West!

He is not welcome on our side of the Park, or in our Brother Jimmy's.
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Aesshen
07/17/09

@92BuickLeSabre: Oh no, you are not pinning this on our side of town. Seriously. For my part, I plan to send him hate mail until he leaves.
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TheHonJudgeSmails
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
This man is going to be found dead outside of an apartment on the LES in about two weeks.
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CaptainFantastic
07/17/09

@TheHonJudgeSmails: They're already writing the L&O episode.
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irishflyesq
07/17/09

@TheHonJudgeSmails: OD or robbery gone bad?
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PandoraSpocks
07/18/09

@irishflyesq: Body found on floor with two taps in the head. Hideous shade of orange lipstick on his peen and bag of blow in the dresser. Kate and her so called security guard immediately brought to One PP for questioning while the ghost of Jerry Orbach cackles in the background.
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lawyergay
07/17/09

In reply to Jon's Kate-Free Upper West Side Sex Pavilion
Sweet Christ that's one ugly piece of bricks, mortar, drywall, and Gosselin-semen-encrusted plate glass.

When did buildings get so godawful in New York? It may take a while for me to be brought up to speed on this, BTW. I fled in 1998.
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TheHonJudgeSmails
07/17/09

@lawyergay: But it has what appears to be a gazebo on top of it.

!!!

A Gazebo!
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Aaron Altman
07/17/09

@lawyergay: Around the time McKim, Mead and White died.
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
07/17/09

@lawyergay:
We wish they'd do such stylish buildings here in Atlanta!
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Weegee's bored
07/17/09

@Aaron Altman: Ha!
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ChickyOnly
07/17/09

@TheHonJudgeSmails: It appears that may be a widow's walk. This building has all the charm of old New England.
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
07/17/09

@ChickyOnly:
If that's supposed to be a widow's walk... well that's just awful.
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resipsaloquacious
07/17/09

@TheHonJudgeSmails:

It might look like a Gazebo, but actually it's the doorway through which Gozer will finally enter this dimension. Yes, that means, Jon is the gatekeeper, or key holder, whichever, gimme a break, do I look like Venkman?
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goetz
07/17/09

@ChickyOnly: That's where the great glass elevator busts through.
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SwissMister promoted this comment goetz was starred goetz was unstarred

blogenfreude
07/17/09

@lawyergay: It's not only ugly, it's two fucking blocks from where I live. I'll have to see all his Ed Hardy shit. Brangelina might move into the Apthorp. My world is crashing.
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ChickyOnly
07/17/09

@resipsaloquacious: there's gotta be some kind of Kate/Gozer the Gozerian joke to be made here, but damned if I can come up with a good one. And yes Venkmann, you are a god.
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ChickyOnly
07/17/09

@goetz: Oh! I guess that does make sense.
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kjack
07/17/09

@ChickyOnly: There is no Kate, only Zuel.
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shostakobitch
07/17/09

@lawyergay: howard roark designed that one. gosselin likes his style with the ladiez.
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CaptainFantastic
07/17/09

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Harumph. It's obviously Jeffersonian.
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ChickyOnly
07/17/09

@kjack: Dana/Zuul: I want you inside me.
Peter: Go ahead. No, I can't. Sounds like you got at least two people in there already. Might be a little crowded.

Still works.
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HiredGoons
04/23/09

In reply to America Makes Do
Need a new toothbrush? Just wrap some crinkled tinfoil around a tampon applicator - BAM!
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cdmunch
04/23/09

In reply to America Makes Do
From personal experience, I haven't noticed people cutting back on their booze expenses (this doesn't include bottle service, I don't hang with those stupid fuckers, if I wanted a bottle of vodka and a bowl of ice, I'd sit in my kitchen instead of paying $400 for the privilege).
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@cdmunch: Tippling is best done in the kitchen, anyway.
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Smitros
04/23/09

@cdmunch:

I once heard a clerk at Thousand Liquors in Chicago praising his line of business, saying "When times are good, people drink. When times are bad, people drink."
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zibby
04/23/09

@cdmunch: Not to get off topic here, but what is/was the appeal of bottle service? Nobody has properly explained this to me.
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@zibby: Conspicuous consumption. See also, "Veblen, Thorstein."

[en.wikipedia.org]
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cdmunch
04/23/09

@Hydroceph: God, what a bunch of drunks this place.
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cdmunch
04/23/09

@Hydroceph: Oh, and the kitchen is a dangerous place to drink... Around 3am after all that Colt 45 or Absolut Kurant, I start looking at the stove and thinking about making stir fry and Eggos while commenting on blogs and searching the hookup section of craigslist... And the next thing I know, I'm waking up with an earful of maple syrup on my fire escape.
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Smitros
04/23/09

@cdmunch:

You say "waking up with an earful of maple syrup on my fire escape" like it's a bad thing.
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cdmunch
04/23/09

@Smitros: yes, but what if the window is locked and alls you're wearing is some guy's bra?
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@cdmunch: I wanna be you for a day.
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PaisleyPajamas
04/23/09

In reply to America Makes Do
...schools are selling off art collections, and also taking donations that may have been "earmarked" for one specific cause and re-earmarking them for another cause...

Good to know! Now I feel less bad about dodging my alma mater's alumni association's INCESSANT CALLING FOR DONATIONS. How many times do I have to say, "But... but...I'm still paying my student loans for the education that got me exactly nada in the fiscal realm. Now you want MORE?"

This from an institution that raised tuition FOUR TIMES to pay for a nice place for the football team to change their clothes and a tri-color scoreboard (price tag? $3 million) while I attended. Gah!
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@PaisleyPajamas: I told them i'd give just as soon as i got a job with the degree i earned from their institution. They said they'd stop calling for a while. We were both lying.
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diehausfrau
04/23/09

@Hydroceph: awww, do you have humanities degrees too?
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@diehausfrau: Worse, three humanities degrees. Thank God i married a doctor.
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diehausfrau
04/23/09

@Hydroceph: ohh, I have three too, good move marrying someone who can actually make money. I stupidly married a journalist.
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@diehausfrau: I'm sure s/he's a very smart journalist, it's just that journalism, as a profession, currently has the life expectancy of a may-fly.
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PaisleyPajamas
04/23/09

@Hydroceph: Your sentiment reminds me of the T-shirt that was so popular before the bubble burst in 2000:

I lied to get the job...

They lied about the job...

We're even.
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@PaisleyPajamas: that's still true, you know. I lied, they lied, we're even. Only we're not, because i'm taking home office supplies.
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Colonel Mustard
04/23/09

In reply to America Makes Do
Hey, that's my apartment building!
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resipsaloquacious
04/23/09

@Colonel Mustard:

What are your maintenance fees?
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Smitros
04/23/09

@Colonel Mustard:

They wouldn't take me. You must know somebody.
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diehausfrau
04/23/09

@Colonel Mustard: Is it rent stabilized?
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HiredGoons
04/23/09

@Colonel Mustard: did it have Ye Olde Person smell when you moved it?
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Colonel Mustard
04/23/09

@Smitros: I'll put in a good word for you with my building manager, Sasquatch.
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Hydroceph
04/23/09

@diehausfrau: I hope so, because it sure doesn't look structurally stabilized.
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